Newbies Nest

[Herbie]

Newbies Nest

Brydie you are great...

Noal your story hit home.. My sister is a binge drinker and then has white knuckle days and/or weeks of sobriety ... but when she goes she goes in a big way (especially when she starts mixing pills with the booze) she gets abusive to all around her ...Her children have suffered tremendously. She does not think they need ALON or anything like that…. She goes to AA, reads self help books has done hypno therapy. I have asked her if she has done any reading on anti craving drugs/nutritional supps etc she said yes but they don’t work.

Andrew ... good for you just walking home... you'll be happy you did so in the morning..

I have spent my day fussing around a Bob Cat that just quit working ... try and picture that... so I did not get to town to deliver all my christmas cookies ... will have to do that tomorrow. I did manage to get all my gifts wrapped this morning..

Will check back later

[FlyAway]

Newbies Nest

noal;1230943 wrote: Went to a family gathering last night, it was suppose to just be a meeting about our farm but kind of turned into a Christmas gathering. My family is not a drinking family at all but I guess because my uncle was here from the west coast one of my cousins brought two bottles of wine to share between 17 people....sounds normal? They passed it around and most filled their cup about a half inch and had a toast, I of course passed on it and had water, didn't even think twice about wanting to drink.

15 minutes later my brother shows up all red and glossy eyed, smiling and talking goofy, I could tell right away he was drunk....I couldn't believe it.

A little history on my brother - he was just as bad as I was years ago and had stopped drinking for over 12 years. Its been a couple months since I talked to him last but I know he was not drinking at that time..........must have just started back up?

Any way, they asked him if he wanted some wine and he excepted. They put a half of an inch in his glass and he just held the cup out looking at them to fill it up, so they emptied the rest of the first bottle in his cup...he drank that first cup of wine wine like it was beer. 20 minutes went by and it was obvious no one was going to open the second bottle, so he helped him self. In 45 minutes he had filled his cup three more times....I could tell that he is back to that terrible drinking cycle...10 bucks says he fills like crap this morning.

I couldn't keep my eyes off him, it was embarrassing to me. I just kept thinking to myself that this is exactly how I look when I am drinking and it is not a pretty site. It was like looking in a mirror and I do not want to go there again...when you are the only heavy drinker around at a gathering you really stand out.

I feel sorry for my brother but last night reinforces my will power to work even harder on the new me.

This is the first time I have been around anyone drinking since I gave it up 66 days ago. The opportunity was there but I had no desire and I am very thankful.

As some of you know, part of my plan is to have someone from my emediate family with me when ever I go out. My 13 yr old son went with me last night. On the way home he said " I thought uncle B didn't do that stuff " so, he noticed it right away too....I told him I didn't know he was back to drinking either.
This part was really cool! also on the way home my son comes right and says I have been meaning to tell you dad that you are doing good job...I thought that was awesome because AL has effected his life too, and he is happy to see me pull it together and be normal.

K9Lover told me this the very first day I introduced my self to MWO. I think of it often...thanks K9.
Focus on how you felt during your bouts of sobriety, and don't let thoughts of alcohol take root in your mind. Yes they come up, but get rid of them quickly.

Good luck everyone.

Noal, well done! I'm sorry about your brother, but it's interesting to be a sober observer at gatherings, isn't it? And it's great that your son was with you and acknowledged what a great job you're doing. Whether or not we want to admit it, our children are very aware of our drinking.

[twitt]

Newbies Nest

Well the meeting with the addiction councelor was okay i guess had to go over everything from start to finish but i see her again in 2 weeks. Day 9 but i am feeling rather miserable and hateful and i don:t know why. I go to work tomorrow getting up at 5am to be at work for 730 hopfully it will distract my brain from boozeSome days i really hate being sober i just hope its worth it

[FlyAway]

Newbies Nest

twitt;1231132 wrote: Well the meeting with the addiction councelor was okay i guess had to go over everything from start to finish but i see her again in 2 weeks. Day 9 but i am feeling rather miserable and hateful and i don:t know why. I go to work tomorrow getting up at 5am to be at work for 730 hopfully it will distract my brain from boozeSome days i really hate being sober i just hope its worth it

Well Twitt, you've never really given up a whole lot of information about yourself so I went back and read over your first posts to see why you're here if you hate being sober. You've lost your marriage because of drinking, are afraid you're going to lose your job, and said that you've been trying to get sober for 20 years. So what is it that you hate about being sober? Having to go to work? Having to deal with feelings? I think it's easy to forget just how shitty being a drinker can be. Now that you aren't drinking you're romanticizing your memories of drinking, but that's the alcohol addiction trying to lure you back. You are still very much addicted. And I posted this to you the other day; the only way to the other side of this is to go through it. You have to feel this longing and pain and suffering to get to the other side. If you quit now and decide to try again later, you're going to start back at day 1. The only way to the other side is to go through it. We are here if you need to hold a hand or an ear to listen. We can help walk you through. But we can only help. I, along with others here, have tried to give you tips to help you along the way. Books to read, supplements to take, hypnotic tapes, etc. I don't know if you've tried any of them because you don't talk about it. But you have to do the heavy lifting. The counselor that you're seeing is definitely a positive thing. I hope that you like her and I hope that you can discuss how you hate feeling emotions and your upbringing with her. Trying to mask or medicate feelings we don't like is typical in addictions. Hopefully she can help you with that.

[twitt]

Newbies Nest

I am taking supplements walking when its not raining and i would definatley like to get th books and the hypnosisthing. after xmas. Its the realization ofthe stupid things that i have doneI like working it keeps me occupied since i am only on call i am considering voluntering at an animal shelter, i have tried to down load the book but i don:t know what i am doing wrong

[FlyAway]

Newbies Nest

twitt;1231168 wrote: I am taking supplements walking when its not raining and i would definatley like to get th books and the hypnosisthing. after xmas. Its the realization ofthe stupid things that i have doneI like working it keeps me occupied since i am only on call i am considering voluntering at an animal shelter, i have tried to down load the book but i don:t know what i am doing wrong

Are you saying that now that you're sober you realize the stupid things that you've done in the past and that's why you're hating being sober?

[twitt]

Newbies Nest

Being sober my mind is constantly on the regrets i guess when i drank i didn:t think about them, thats when the i don:t care attitude comes in or stinkin thinkin. Also i have stopped hanging around people who drink, trying to find some sober ones. I will continue to go to AA on friday nights, i do like those open meetings

[twitt]

Newbies Nest

probably is the reason why right now i hate being sober, but the past is the past

[twitt]

Newbies Nest

and i want to remember how i felt the worse hangover and how long it took me to recover

[madmans]

Newbies Nest

Hi Twit

Being sober my mind is constantly on the regrets

we all get them but they do pass and with time we can learn to move on , i'm sure you have heard it around here before but we can't change the past only the future, your doing great each day sober makes you stronger, it takes time but it is so worth it .

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

twitt,
Take a look at this website & apply the principles to yourself
Forgiveness at Radical Forgiveness.com

Don't waste any more time feeling bad about your past, be grateful for a good day today

noal, congrats to you! Sorry about your brother.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Twitt, I like your thinking about volunteering at the animal shelter. I don't know how I'd do at that, as I'd want to take them all home (trying to save the world syndrome). But I think you are on the right track. Try to get control of your mind. MAKE yourself think of better things and things you CAN do to make a better outcome in the short term. I am amazed at how I am helped when I put myself in the service to others. Believe me, I would be the last one to say that in my drinking days. I would have dismissed it as 'stupid'. But getting yourself out of your rabbit hole may be by helping someone else out of his/hers. I found that baking cakes and giving them to unsuspecting neighbors helped me. It was something I enjoyed doing, got my mind off my troubles for a bit, AND brought JOY to someone else. For right now, please stop beating yourself up about the past....trust me, hurting yourself doesn't make it go away. In this nest we are teaching ourselves to move FORWARD. Today is all that counts....Byrdie

[twitt]

Newbies Nest

yea i do like being of service to people i guess thats why i like working in a nursing home

[FlyAway]

Newbies Nest

twitt;1231187 wrote: yea i do like being of service to people i guess thats why i like working in a nursing home

Wow, it takes a loving and gifted person to work in a nursing home. My mom is in one now with numerous health problems and severe dementia. We took care of her for years until she fell and broke her pelvis and couldn't stand or walk on her own anymore. There has been nothing harder in my life and I give a load of gratitude to those who do this job.

[twitt]

Newbies Nest

yea i definatly have alot of passion for the residents most are so sweet, I generally work the dementia floor but there can be some nasty ones too