Newbies Nest

[BelleGirl]

Newbies Nest

Good morning, nesters...just a quick drop in before I have to go to school and help out in my son's class.

Herbie, please check in and let us know how you are doing...you will get through this, and being sober you will know you make the right decisions.

Prairie...so good to see you back in the nest. I'll have to read over your post later when I have more time and look into the Pennebaker method. Sounds interesting.

Lolab...always the support for everyone from you. How do you do it???

Windy...congrats on 100 days. Simply awesome.

Steady, Unwasted...any anyone else I just can't name right now...thanks for the support. I do have a plan for the witching hour(s):
1) Never enter the laundry room between 4pm and dinner. If I need something in there, I will have one of the kids get it.
2) If I feel "urgey", I will come right here and start reading for at least 5 minutes.
3) If I still feel "urgey" I will go to my room and do some yoga stretching and meditation for at least 5 minutes.
4) Go back to step 2...and 3...

I'll have to work on a weekend plan later...

Love to all...:h

[Unwasted]

Newbies Nest

Lola great post! And thanks for the commendation - I think I'm there but vow to never get complacent. Belle, there are great crave riding posts in the Toolbox. Eating something is my saving grace, even if it's sugar!

Wanted to post this thread in case you guys haven't seen it - extremely motivating words from Mohun who's been sober around 11 months. I think the detail about the different stages is invaluable:



Hi. I haven't posted for a while so I thought I would pop in for an update and say thanks to all of the members who helped me be successful.

I haven't had any alcohol for about 15 months. Not a drop. I quit twice before for about 4 months each time using this site and the encouragement of it's members. Both times previously I went back to drinking thinking I could control it. Of course it ends up controlling me in the end.

This third time I have been very successful and thought I would pass along some observations.

There were several milestones along the way I thought were interesting. It took many many months to actually feel "normal". I thought after 30 days AF I would starting to feel "normal" but in hindsight I did not.

I do know (now) with the amount of alcohol I drank I was masking/creating other problems. From months 3-6 AF I suffered through some mild depression as my body adapted to no more alcohol. Whether that be from physical or mental adjustments or both, I am not sure. This was probably the make or break point for me (failed twice before around this time).

From 6 months to a year was where I started to see/feel some real changes of returning to "normal".

Some of the biggest changes include no longer having that feeling of being agitated and aggressive all of the time. I sleep like a rock every night and wake up refreshed. Actually going to bed sober is something I look forward to, a lot. Knowing I will wake up sober is a great feeling.

For the first part of this journey, I remember waking up expecting to feel hungover and then realizing I wasn't. It's a great feeling.

I also managed to finally take control of my poor eating habits. I have lost 70 pounds since quitting drinking. Most people are shocked to see the difference from where I was to where I am.

My family cannot believe how nice and calm I am all of the time now. My stress levels both personally and professionally have dropped dramatically.

I am posting here today in hopes that others starting on this wonderful journey can see that there are people who are successful at this. Maybe others, like me, will take what they need and move on. Which is why I wanted to come back and say thank you to all of those members who stick around and offer help and advice.

Anyway, for those just starting, there is a better life if you can stick with it. I know there can be social pressures or work pressures to drink, but you can be successful in life without drinking.

Good luck to all!

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Canadian gal ? great way to end one year and start the next ? eh? LOL, I live close to the Canadian border and we always joke about Canadians saying ?eh??.Hopefully you can keep the distractions at bay during your early days this time.

Ruinator ? you are doing fantastic. It can?t be easy to be a young person trying to stay sober during the holidays?I guess on a positive note ? if they drank all your alcohol, it?s not tempting you now!

Hi girl1973. If you are just waiting to wake up and have something click to say ?I?m done? it?s not going to happen. Your post sounds like you are at your wits end?.you have to take that feeling and go with it. Accept that you are going to have a tough go of it for a few days ? but when you start feeling physically better ? at least then you can deal with the emotional aspects of why you drink. Most of us used to drink socially?.and like you, then I moved on to drinking at home ? then hiding it from others at home, then drinking vodka, too?.all day and night. There is hope.

Piper, are you around hon?

Freefly ? stay close!!! I started doing the Tibetan rites over break ? and I read the book too. I am going to get back to those today. Thanks for the info. Let us know when you start with the hypnos ? that is wonderful of onetoomany.

Timpin, I?m really glad to see you?re still here and great job on the NYE party!

Noal, congrats on your NYE 75 day milestone!!!!!!!!!!

Aguy, how are things? I think I might have seen you in another thread?

Mimi ? how are you? Please let us know _ I was glad to hear that you had succeeded at 80 days.

Sufi, welcome to the nest ? you?re almost to 1 week now? Isn?t it wonderful to be able to go where you want to ? Sometimes I catch myself still ? taking a step back when someone gets physically close to me ? to keep them from smelling the alcohol?.then I realize that there is no alcohol to smell!

Fallen Angel ? how did you do with last weekend? I hope you?re on your way to your 4th goal.

Hello minstar ? how are things going? How?s the princess?

Binge, Queenbug, Flyaway, broken halo, mightymite ? are you still with us?

K, I gotta get off my computer chair and get some things done?.bitter cold morning was perfect excuse for getting caught up - now I feel like I know what everyone?s been up to!

Have a great day everyone ? don?t let thoughts about alcohol bring you down?keep looking above.

~lola

[Pinecone]

Newbies Nest

Lolab shows us how it is done...:H That is awesome!

Windy, congratulations on your triple digit day! I always appreciate your posts.

Bellegirl, wishing you strength today. I'll echo what Unwasted just posted about a snack. I think alot of us drink on empty stomachs. When I had cravings in the first week, a snack would really take the wind out of the craving's sails.

I hope everyone has a wonderful AF day today!

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

UW - thanks for posting that - it's awesome.

And it shows that you can't expect miracles in a short time. I love having the hope that maybe I won't be a sometimes-bitch forever??? LOL!

[MWOLady]

Newbies Nest

Morning all. Lolab, MCT oil is derived from coconut oil - Medium Chain Tryglycerides - very good for you in many ways. I take a tablespoon three times a day. Good for hair, skin, heart.

Right now I'm oil pulling with coconut oil...kinda disgusting but very good for gums - anti-inflamatory, anti-fungal, anti-bacterial.

All this talk of divorce has been giving me ideas....DH is driving me crazy! He does not know that I am quitting drinking. How he could not know is beyond me, but he doesn't pay much attention to what I do...has he not noticed that I've not had any wine since Sunday? Apparently not!! Anyway, he's such a baby...jealous that my new computer screen is 1 1/2 inches larger than his. He's just been over here with the tape measure - again - to see. Right in the middle of me reading on this forum! I have very little privacy in this house! Oh the joys of retirement!

Anyway congrats to those who are doing so very well. And chin up to those who are GOING to do well very soon!!

[canadian gal]

Newbies Nest

Lolab how do you do that? You rock! Thanks for the "eh". I haven't heard it in a looong time and it made me laugh. I wonder if I should teach it to the Chinese.

[piper123]

Newbies Nest

LL thanks for asking. I am here, reading mostly. The depression, loneliness and sadness have set in. I am trying hard to work through it. Have a doc appt tomorrow. Not drinking though. I am just miserable to be around--I can hardly stand myself.

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

MWOL I read about the oil pulling in the holistic thread. Of course I tried it but could get no where near the amount of time I was supposed to....I do believe in coconut oil though. I put it on my toast. and on my skin and sometimes my hair before I wash it. That is too funny about your hubby measuring the screen size!

I know from the past that if I start feeling disconnected from the nest, not "knowing" people - I tend to withdraw - which is soooo not a good thing for me. so when things get away from me ( I wasn't able to get on much over the holidays) I make the screen smaller and open up another window with Word and scroll backwards trying to write a post to everyone in word, and get to know them in the mean time...then copy and paste onto MWO. It's important to me....it's part of my plan. :-)

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Hi Piper....I'm proud of you for not drinking....those are the difficult days IMO....but once you clear them, you can see the sun beyond the clouds right? Hang in there. You can do it.

[twitt]

Newbies Nest

piper123;1238567 wrote: LL thanks for asking. I am here, reading mostly. The depression, loneliness and sadness have set in. I am trying hard to work through it. Have a doc appt tomorrow. Not drinking though. I am just miserable to be around--I can hardly stand myself.

My depression got to me on monday,but i did drink,alot so i am suffering today and i feel more miserable:upset:

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Steady Hands;1238423 wrote: BelleGirl ? It is interesting looking at your posts how it started with a simple glass of wine that your husband poured and you didn?t know how to say no. And last night you deliberately drank a bit to ease emotional pain. I understand that. I drank mainly to shut up anxiety. It came to a point where I would be drunk, popping pills and have 2 cigarettes burning at once, but still going crazy!! Nothing and no amount of it helped in the end. 2 bottles of wine and 20 cigarettes a day weren?t enough anymore?

SteadyHands,
I can so relate to what you wrote. I remember getting all "set" for my night, 18 pack in the fridge, 2 packs of ciggies ready...then I'd go outside, pop open that beer, light up and then 2 seconds later sit there thinking "Well...is this all there is?" The anticipation of drinking was always more exciting than the actual drinking itself. In fact, towards the end, it became so much work to drink. With every beer I felt like I HAD to go outside to smoke (note that on a non-drinking day, I only smoke 4 cigs total). The constant up and down, go outside, up, down, go outside routine became such a chore. It would take me 3 hours to watch a 1.5 hour movie. And then I wouldn't remember the ending! And if I thought I was drinking to ease the anxiety, boy was I kidding myself, because the REAL anxiety would set in around 3am when I was scrambling to piece the night together. Oh it's exhausting!

Sorry for the ramble, just wanted to add my 2 cents in there. LOL

It's Wednesday already! I love how fast the week goes when Monday is a holiday...can't we do that every week? lol

Day 9 for me. Sucks to be so "new", but I decided to count consecutive days, and I can't deny that I messed up recently....so 9 it is.

Hope everyone has a great day...and congrats to everyone hitting those major milestones, although EVERY day AF is a reason to celebrate!

xoxo
K9

[Unwasted]

Newbies Nest

I love having the hope that maybe I won't be a sometimes-bitch forever??? LOL!

Lola, you're a crackup. Sorry, not sure we can count on our being sober to nix our bitchiness. I'm holding out hope too.:H:H

MWOL - I laughed out loud at the vision of your husband measuring the computer screen. Too funny...........:H

K9, that's admirable for you to start counting again. I'll think you'll feel better in the long run with having started over. You know, the time goes pretty quickly. I'm coming up on 60 days and it doesn't feel nearly that long. That's a good sign, eh?

SH, Piper, Pinecone and all the nesters on page 2 LOL, have a super AF day. Remember what Supercrew says, "There are no reasons to drink, only excuses." (Think I'll have to put that in my signature!

[FreeFly]

Newbies Nest

Hey Lola - what a honey you are catching up with everyone. Hope you enjoy the rites - they centre me each morning. I do them before I get in the shower and then I truly feel a "feel good" shift. They also definitely kept the weight at bay. Whenever I stopped them over the last year, the weight PILED on as a drank. Now I've stopped, I'm hoping for the "surplus" to disappear, and of course, a deep detox.

Unwasted - I really loved your post about self control. Made absolute perfect sense to me and has been pivotal for me this time. You hear so much about not being able to give up smoking/drinking with willpower alone which IMHO takes away any power we may have. Of course self control can be a learned behaviour. Thanks, you've flipped a switch for me.

And Windy - what can I say, like LolaB, 100 days, CONGRATULATIONS. Brilliant and inspirational. :wd: :happy:

I'm going to go and read your initial thread as Lola suggested. Only 97 days till I hit my 100!

[MWOLady]

Newbies Nest

re the will power stuff. Something I'm trying to do this year is - whatever I really don't FEEL like doing - that's what I force myself to do. Like making the bed and cleaning the bathroom, or vacuuming, or calling a friend, or whatever - when I'd rather be pissing my time away...but as for stopping drinking this way - forget it!! So glad I've got my Tool Box at the ready. Off with DH to get dog food - will take a GABA as he's driving me nuts today, then back home in time to take a Topa dose, then will start that knitting pattern I've been putting off for WEEKS!!! Especially as I can't knit worth a darn (hey is that a pun?) - but gotta do something other than think about drinking eh?