Newbies Nest

[windy]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Lola for bringing that back up even if I did say "Oh no". I was a little nervous to re-read that as I had not done so in a long time. I am humbled to be where I am today and I couldn’t feel more grateful to have gotten to my original goal. It was something I had wanted to do for a very long time, but was just too dang scared to do it. It was a big number to me then and seemed impossible, but I needed it to be a long-term goal in order to get the peace I was looking for. I am now in the “forever” camp.

I have a peace of mind now that I did not have three months ago there is no denying that. One of the worst side effects of alcohol, as we all know, is anxiety. I do not feel as anxious anymore. Anxiety really was wrecking my life and to have that lift has been a God send. My patience is better, not great, but better. Did I reach any of the other goals? Well, I am still a work in progress, but I do feel like I can be a better person, whereas before I was definitely stuck in an alcohol haze that was stifling. I could go on and on about how much better I feel today than I was 100 days ago, but I think you guys already know how much better you feel when you have some AF days behind. My wish is that you can accomplish your goals and feel the control I feel. I know I still have a long way to go, but I feel like I can do what I want with a lot of hard work.

I need to emphasize that it is a lot of hard work and determination, but it is so worth it. I want everyone who reads this to know the peace of living without alcohol in their lives that I feel today. It took me a long time to finally commit to being AF for a serious amount of time, so I know what it’s like to start over. It always seemed like everyone else was doing it but me, so I know what that feels like to. Please dig inside yourself and listen to your little voice who wants to be free.

I wanted to post this here because this is where I have found a great group of people to share my journey with. Thank you one and all.

[mightymite]

Newbies Nest

Hi Lola,
I'm still here and reading every day. Thank you for thinking of me. It's nice to know that you are thought of. :h I am hanging out in the long term mod group now. I am doing really well. I am sticking to my goals of not drinking during the week, NEVER drinking in a social situation (that's where my troubles begin) and having no more than two glasses of wine on Sat and Sun with my hubby. But, I think I might try for 30 days. I desperately need to lose at least 7lbs by Feb 8. Going on vaca and want to fit into my bathing suit. Yiikes! I have joined an online calorie count program and I always do very well on those. Going to the gym twice a day, 5 days a week and working out for a total of 7 days a week. If that doesn't do it, I give up! :headbanger: I feel great and am at peace with myself. But I stay close to MWO because it gives me strength and encouragement and never lets me forget why I came here in the first place.

Everyone is doing so well here and the nest has grown by leaps and bounds. Great job everyone and it's so nice to read, daily, about everyone's successes. Take care all.
MM

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Windy...that fresh-faced little girl who showed up here 100 days ago...now blossumed into a brave new woman!! She came with a dream and a plan....and worked them both beautifully. I will wear my pink pokey dot pants tonight in your honor. I am so very proud of you!!!! Well done. Byrdie

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Windy...everytime I see your avatar, I want to say, "Look Einstein!" ehehe.. What happened to the chicken you used to have? I'm trying to remember what you had before that...it really messes with my head when people change them! How screwed up is THAT??
Happy 100 Days! Byrdie

[timpin]

Newbies Nest

Hi All

So many people on here going without AL for so long and others working away hard at it. Soon we will have to start a non drinkers club !! I just wanted to give a quick update. No cravings for AL whatsoever ...none.... and I guess that the Campral may be really helping as well. I am now four weeks into my gym membership and working away like crazy and lost over five pounds. To date I have saved over ?900 by not buying AL. Today I feel refreshed and invigorated, full of energy and looking forward not only to tomorrow but to every day that comes. The saved money will buy us a dream holiday in the summer and what I am going to save will go towards the new wardrobe of clothes that I will need in the next month as I lose even more weight and get even fitter.

Why am I being selfish and writing about just myself ? Well I want those who are new to this site to know exactly what they can achieve and how they can achieve it in such a short time. Just over sixty days ago, I was a bloated overweight drunkard who lived only for his next drink. I had a total lack of confidence and had suffered with depression. Now today, I am a new man and my only regret is wasting the last ten years of my life. AL took that away from me and now it is but a distant memory. However as always, the little monster is still there in my head just waiting to take advantage of any opportunity he can get. However I am going to ensure that he does not throw me back in that dungeon and throw away the key.

If you are just starting out on your path without AL then you can achieve this as well. I know from the many comments that I have read on here over the last few days that all of those people sound so much happier with their lives as a result of giving up the poison. It hasn't been easy for any of us, but one thing we will all agree on is that it has been well worth it.

Note to Andrew. I am really looking forward to celebrating your 30 days AF. I know what the pressures can be like living in Paddyland with the booze culture and all as I have spent lots of time there myself. I want you to know that you can and will do it. When you do get there, you will feel as great as I do now today. Good luck !

[windy]

Newbies Nest

From Timpin -- Why am I being selfish and writing about just myself ? Well I want those who are new to this site to know exactly what they can achieve and how they can achieve it in such a short time. J

I'ave been doing the same thing in my last couple of posts too as sometimes it helps to tell your story as it would relate to others. It is a good way to make a story relevant.

Oh...Byrdie --- just for you. This was my first avater and maybe it will stick. I just like change. And thanks for your comments.

[Steady Hands]

Newbies Nest

Windy - Wow! 100 days!!:goodjob:

FreeFly - 97 days ... Go for it!!

Unwasted - Thanks for posting Mohun's words. It helps a lot to hear that depression will be part of the healing and that it takes MONTHS, not days.

K9 Lover - I raise my cup of Chai tea to your 9 days! I printed your response to what to say to people about not drinking (another thread) and read it a few times on vacation. You came across as a very direct and strong person. That helped me. So, when I read your first post where you described about considering not taking your antabuse I wanted to cry. I could just imagine the thoughts and agony going round and round in your head!That is why I want to get through a good few months. #1 - Not to go through day 1 again and #2 to experience what Mohun is talking about.

Your name, K9Lover, bothered me at the beginning. My parents said a dog is a dog! And when we moved to this house and my ex was still here we basically just fed the dogs. The lady across the street started to come over and give treats to the dogs. She then began to do it every day. Probably saw what was going on. I used to ignore her or just peek out the window and say hi when I was drunk. Now we are talking everyday and I asked many questions about her knowledge of dogs. I also started to take the dogs to the park and I am amazed how quickly the dogs responded and accepted the leash-walking etc... I now think of that in a different way. A dog isn't just a dog. My parents probably had that attitude because they needed time to drink.

The things AL makes us do! And don't do! I am now ashamed to think I only fed my dogs. Thought if I didn't abuse them I am doing ok.

Can't wait for so many other thoughts to change and the enrichment of life that will follow that!

[Herbie]

Newbies Nest

hello all

I am ashamed to say I dropped my basket last night... I feel to terrible. My husband just ripped into me over something I have no control over and it caused a big trigger in me and I just reacted and did not think. He upsets me so much when he does this. over the last year my wine consumption increased as his bad moods increased.. he has been out of the country since I started on MWO and I he has been very pleasant over the phone all this time... but last night was awful ... I have to revisit my plan and figure out how to handle this trigger. I try not to take it personal but I not very good at that...So my friends on on day one and feeling very blue

[BelleGirl]

Newbies Nest

Herbie, that's OK...don't come down too hard on yourself. You must be dealing with so much right now. Trying for a new AF life, and being new at it (like us), with a wrench thrown in is most difficult. I am so sorry things are difficult in your marriage. I so understand reacting without thinking. You are so smart to use this situation to revisit your plan. There will always be triggers coming out of the blue. I am on day one today with you. Stay with us.:l

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

DAY 4 for me.....feeling pretty good...headache not as bad but still tired tired tired.
Tomorrow will be BIG TEST #2. Monday was test#1 - dinner with husband who ordered two drinks and i declined the offer to join. TEST #2 is tomorrow night - need to go to city for 1) very stressful meeting at 4pm followed by 2) big dinner party at some fancy restaurant that I won't have to pay for with the wine flowing......but I am going to say NO NO NO
I am on a diet wish me luck.....i need it

[twitt]

Newbies Nest

good luck to you:goodjob:

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Jenn! You can do it! Trust me when I say have your plan. When the drink orders begin, do not hesitate one MOMENT or someone will say, OH WHY NOT!!! IT's _______! Say that it's a resolution, you take every January off...something. Just don't hesitate. After the first one, it's a piece of cake!! It's just that little rough edge at the very beginning. Once the evening is underway, no one will give a rat's behind what you are drinking as long as they get theirs. But you must be firm on that first answer out of the shoot, or you will crack. If I can do it, (queen of the booze) you can do it!! I would say good luck, but luck has nothing to do with it...your PLAN does! Work it! Byrdie

[MWOLady]

Newbies Nest

Herbie, just begin again. What's past is gone and not to be thought of again. Stay close to MWO and we'll do our best to cheer you up!!

[Prairie Fairy]

Newbies Nest

I HATE when I write "War and Peace" and it get's wiped out by the friggin' computer.

Herbie-
Like many of us - I have a failed marriage. We have all failed for a myriad or reasons -don't drink enough, drink too much, who f'in cares why are you here? Whatever.

First of all - YOU can't change yesterday. You can't. You can pay the consequences for yesterday. (and Lord knows you might)

But YOU CAN give yourself grace. You can say - I f'ed up. BAD. I don't like me today. But I got here how I got here. I am doing the best I can. I am broken. I am spent. But MF'er - I am doing the best I can. I don't get up trying to fail. I get up trying to do right.

You can like it. You can not like it. I can pray, wish, desperately cry - that you will stay - even after being a giant F'up who doesn't deserve it - you will.

But the fact is - I can bet myself. I can self flagellate until the cows come home. You will be tucked into this bed with me *or* not.

I can't make you love me. I can't make you forgive me. I can't make you find peace with broken me and still find value with the whole me you live with most of the time.

All I can ask is that you try. And if you can't or won't. I get it. I may not ever accept your call again. Because really. In the middle of the night - you will realize - no one ever loved you like me. And you miss me. * ME* Me for ME. Not me for the wine. But ME.

I am NOT perfect. I am broken. I am hurt. I am doing the best I can. But I am yours. Love me. Toss me away. All choices... you make them...and darling - I will accept your choice. And not one minute. Not one second. I am NEVER. EVER. Looking back.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters!

Sorry to hear about your troubles Herbie. Make tomorrow a better day for you

Windy, the 100 AF newbie - you're awesome & your chicken is cuter than my chicken. But my chicken actually lives in my backyard & I get to see her every day :H

Greetings to all the nesters checking in today!
Can't believe it's almost 10:30 pm already so I'll wish everyone a safe night in the nest

Lav