Newbies Nest

[Pinecone]

Newbies Nest

Dinnysis, that is outstanding. A thought that helped me alot was to remember "A hangover lasts alot longer than a craving." You might find that your cravings are concentrated around the time you usually used to drink (aka witching hour). Learning that concept was a big help to me. You can distract yourself, or have a light snack during this time. You are training yourself to put up with a small amount of minor and temporary discomfort. In time, the benefits will so outweigh the "benefits" of drinking. You are right that it will get so much better.

[dinnysis]

Newbies Nest

Thank you for that Pinecone, yes it's a witching hour thing right enough! Sooo want to get to day 4. I will keep your words in mind tonight when it starts again. I have to do this. I have to get better.

[Unwasted]

Newbies Nest

Irie - happy birthday!



Wanted mention something that helps me when I'm going to be put into a tough situation. I have to sort of practice beforehand and react immediately when put into the position of being offered or wanting a drink. If I hesitate, that's when I have a problem. Just thought I'd throw that out. Really hoping you can be strong because in the long run you'll be so much better off. It's not easy, but it will get better and easier!

Dinny - excellent on day three - getting past 3 is the first big hurdle because all the al is out of your system. Well done - and do get a plan in place, it helps!

Pinecone - wise words. I too get the worst cravings around the witching hour which for me is 5-7. I find that lemon in water helps cut my cravings, along with eating something - even if it's sweet.

PF - your song is a really great one for sobriety - you're letting the sunshine in with your new life!!

Lola, oh, your birthday story made me sad - I've done things like that -- geared myself up for something I thought someone was going to do and then it didn't happen. It's like the proverbial pin in the balloon except worse........Well, you now know how to handle it!

One thing in the long post I put up earlier that resonated with me was this: when we stop drinking, we're going to have bad things still happen obviously. But, every time we get past it without drinking, it strengthens us because we've proven to ourselves that we can handle hard things. I think that's important to keep in mind!

Shue, I know Jason Vale thinks we shouldn't count because it bolsters the idea that we're giving something up when we're in fact not, but for some reason I like counting. It makes me feel I'm accomplishing something more than giving something up.

Lav, CG, My Life, Byrdie, Freefly, Shelly, Scottish Lass, Piper, Juja, Herbie, Twitt, Hyper and anyone who visits the nest today, wishing for a wonderful AF weekend for you! We can do this! Day 53 for me.

[canadian gal]

Newbies Nest

Prairie- you have such a great song!!!!! I used to sing that song with my little brother on my drive to high school! It was in the musical "Hair" and tagged on to the end of the song Aquarius. It rocks!

[dinnysis]

Newbies Nest

Unwasted thank you for that, much appreciated.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Well, I should be grateful that my song IS Mack the Knife and not The Star Spangled Banner!!
Dinnysis...welcome aboard! Well done on Day 3! Unwasted is 100% right, this is the day that you will be operating on your own full power! Now you must strive to get to Day 7...this is a big milestone. You will have conquered every single day of the week and there are no surprises left! As Lav has drilled into our heads, Friday is just another day...you can get thru. I know around 4 o'clock is a tough trigger time, at least for me...it marked the beginning of a drinking free-for-all...as I was pretty much drinking all the waking hours of a weekend...so arm yourself with things you like to do and eat this weekend!!! Don't be afraid to really spoil YOU! You can have ANYTHING you want to eat or drink....with one exception. Grab some delicious cookies for those tough times...and think about what you are eating as you are enjoying it. Not just mindlessly consume, is what I'm trying to say. Get control of your mind...when you start thinking about how nice it would be, redirect your thoughts to something else immediately. Don't go down the rabbit hole! Try to recite the Pledge of Allegience, say the Lord's Prayer, name the 7 dwarfs or dwarves....LOOK UP whether it's dwarfs or dwarves, divert your thinking and that urge will pass. Besides, what's one glass of wine going to do for us anyway??? You can do it. Check in here often!! We want you to know the peace of cutting this beast off at the head! You will have awful mindchatter...distract yourself with music or TV too loud or bake something to give away to a neighbor. Whatever it takes, and get all the AL out of the house, we are not Mother Theresa....set yourself up for success and you will find it! You can do it!! You are in the right place!! Byrdie

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

It's Friday...yay!
Morning all...
Checking in on day 11. Do you know that I actually had a thought about "accidentally" missing my Antabuse dose this morning? I stopped dead in my tracks and was absolutely horrified that I would even consider that. But as I've said to many newbies "A thought is only that...a thought, and it can't affect you unless you act on it." So down went the AB pill. It's frustratring and a little scary that the beast is still so loud. But I know that every time I ignore him, he'll get quieter, and eventually give up. So I am going to repeat to myself my two favorite mottos (I think one was recently mentioned here):

1) A craving will never last as long as a hangover; and
2) Nobody ever gets up in the morning and says "I wish I had drank last night!"

Wishing everyone strength! :h
K9

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

:H :H The Star Spangled Banner Byrdie :H :H

C'mon, you are not that old. Besides, you are full of golden wisdom

Welcome Dinnysis!
Congrats on your 3 AF days, great work! Stick around with us, we're glad to help out.

I personally like the idea of counting AF days - I see it in a positive, moving forward to the light type of thing. When I hit my 1,000 days last month I was really, really happy & proud of myself. Today is 956 smoke free days for me (QuitNet does the counting for me). I am proud of that number as well as it has been even harder to maintain......

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Lav -

My next goal is to have smoke free days. But I remember you advising me (not long ago) not to try too many "quits" at once. And since I slipped 12 days ago (no, let me rephrase: I F***ED UP 12 days ago!...a slip sounds like an accident, mine wasn't, it was a stupid decision I made on purpose), my main goal right now is alcohol free...but quitting smoking is becoming more urgent too, because my lungs are feeling achy and I have one of those annoying "old man" hacks.

So next for me is to give up the ciggies...I'm also going to use QuitNet and I go to WhyQuit a lot for motivation. I'm going to plan my quit this time. Every other failed attemp was me just running out of cigs and telling myself I've quit. I think as with drinking, you have to have a plan to quit cigs too. So hopefully trying something different will make it stick this time. My last quit lasted 7 days and I thought I was the sh*t....yeah, not so much. LOL

K9

[windy]

Newbies Nest

From Dinnysis -- Day 3 for me today! Think last time I did that was 2009. Spent last 2 nights reading posts. I really want to carry on so will stick around if ok. Any encouragement really would be welcome. Thanks. I posted on "I DID NOT DRINK YESTERDAY" thread last night and was reminded about having to have a plan, so I got me one and I am going to stick with it. The cravings were brutal last night but I know it will get better!!!!

Hi Dinnysis :welcome:-- I especially like your attitude regarding cravings and knowing they will ease up. They do. You just have to ride it out and Byrdie has some great ideas on how to do just that by thinking of anything, but booze. You will learn the techniques that work best for you if you are determined to do so. Sounds to me like you are. I really go a lot out of imagining my drink of choice as something really disgusting and smelly (unbelievably revolting). I don't know if it worked, but I haven't drank. I still use this technique and had to use it just yesterday. As you know your cravings are just thoughts they are not your actions. Your thoughts you have no control over, but your actions you do. Keep us informed on your progress.

Byrdie -- You crack me up -- Star Spangled Banner...I know you are only about 6 months older than me and I am definitely a spring chicken. See my avatar. Mine was by Paul Anka or something like that .....made me feel like a 57 chevy.

Lav -- Love your chicken and I too like to count days. I tried not to, but it does make me feel like I have accomplished something for myself.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Keep counting windy ~ nothing wrong with counting positive steps in our lives
My chickens are really very friendly but that one pic (I call her Stella) is hysterical :H

K9, I think you're smart in giving yourself some time between quits. I'll be honest, quitting smoking (permanently) was much harder for me I smoked a whole lot more & longer than I ever drank - maybe that's it, not sure. My first grandchild is behind both of my quits, his arrival was the motivation I needed to get these jobs done - once & for all

[Steady Hands]

Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters

I was supposed to be at a barbeque right now. Attended about 25 min and then just got the hell out of there!!

My 2 year old almost ran into the street before we went. I had to sprint about 15 meters to catch him. Then we got into the car on my way to my ex’s barbeque. We really try to be friends for the children’s sake and be adults about our break up.

I hurt my ankles/ Achilles that has been a problem for weeks now by sprinting. So, now I am a bit freaked out and in pain. Now enter the party… There is my sister (who almost wanted to forced me to go to rehab when she has a problem herself) accepting a drink from a guy (who groped my big boobs when I was pregnant with my first unplanned baby and my f#@#%^-ing ex just thought I should get over it!) and my almost ex father in law (who French kissed me back in the day when I was more than drunk and my ex blamed ME for it!!)….

If I were still drinking I would have told the boob groper to pour me a stiff one and got more and more till I became my sister and boob groper’s best friend again. Hell, probably would have told my ex to move back in! And everybody would have liked me again…

Without AL I could feel all the emotions. The drained feeling after adrenaline rush running after 2 year old, the anger towards my sister that used me for her own drinking and the betrayal of my ex partner who chose his friend over me…

To sips of Chai tea later I knew I couldn’t do it.

It was weird to feel all the emotions! New… even the crying felt different! It stopped as soon as I logged on…

Thanks for listening Nesters.

[Unwasted]

Newbies Nest

SH,

What a fantastic post, and I am mega proud of you for getting out of that environment. I know exactly what you mean about how it all would have been different if you had caved to a drink. You would have done things you didn't want to do, and been full of regret and shame in the morning.

You are incredibly strong. You've lost nothing by getting away from that party and everything in saving yourself.

Sending you an enormous hug and pat on the back.:l

[twitt]

Newbies Nest

Steady Hands;1239986 wrote: Hi Nesters

I was supposed to be at a barbeque right now. Attended about 25 min and then just got the hell out of there!!

My 2 year old almost ran into the street before we went. I had to sprint about 15 meters to catch him. Then we got into the car on my way to my ex?s barbeque. We really try to be friends for the children?s sake and be adults about our break up.

I hurt my ankles/ Achilles that has been a problem for weeks now by sprinting. So, now I am a bit freaked out and in pain. Now enter the party? There is my sister (who almost wanted to forced me to go to rehab when she has a problem herself) accepting a drink from a guy (who groped my big boobs when I was pregnant with my first unplanned baby and my f#@#%^-ing ex just thought I should get over it!) and my almost ex father in law (who French kissed me back in the day when I was more than drunk and my ex blamed ME for it!!)?.

If I were still drinking I would have told the boob groper to pour me a stiff one and got more and more till I became my sister and boob groper?s best friend again. Hell, probably would have told my ex to move back in! And everybody would have liked me again?

Without AL I could feel all the emotions. The drained feeling after adrenaline rush running after 2 year old, the anger towards my sister that used me for her own drinking and the betrayal of my ex partner who chose his friend over me?

To sips of Chai tea later I knew I couldn?t do it.

It was weird to feel all the emotions! New? even the crying felt different! It stopped as soon as I logged on?

Thanks for listening Nesters.

I am afraid to feel all the emotions that i know i have, crying to be the big one as i do not think i can stop

[MWOLady]

Newbies Nest

Steady Hands you sure made the right choice! Do you have to be quite so friendly with your ex because of your child? You have to be friendly with HIM when he picks your little one up for visits, or you drop your little one up for visits with Dad but do you have to attend parties with all that toxic gang? Just asking. You may not have a choice here, I realize.

Isn't it funny how awful these people look when they are all boozing it up and you are the sober one? And they are so BORING too!!! Turn your anger and tears into pity and it's easier to bear. They all have to live with themselves. You'll be filled with charity and pity for them in the morning and they will be hungover!!!

Those emotions you felt are what a NORMAL person would feel - that's YOU!!!! You are becoming a real, authentic, normal person! Good for you.