Newbies Nest

[FlyAway]

Newbies Nest

K9Lover;1239922 wrote: It's Friday...yay!
Morning all...
Checking in on day 11. Do you know that I actually had a thought about "accidentally" missing my Antabuse dose this morning? I stopped dead in my tracks and was absolutely horrified that I would even consider that. But as I've said to many newbies "A thought is only that...a thought, and it can't affect you unless you act on it." So down went the AB pill. It's frustratring and a little scary that the beast is still so loud. But I know that every time I ignore him, he'll get quieter, and eventually give up. So I am going to repeat to myself my two favorite mottos (I think one was recently mentioned here):

1) A craving will never last as long as a hangover; and
2) Nobody ever gets up in the morning and says "I wish I had drank last night!"

Wishing everyone strength! :h
K9

Great mottos K9. :h

[Herbie]

Newbies Nest

Guys

i need to see a shrink... my personal situation is not good...my hubby tore into me again today and my cousin just told me that if I had a back bone then things may change... think how that made me feel.. I have lost my voice, I don't know how to set boundaries cause they are just plowed through. I am so scared and I use to be so confident ... I am frozen and don't know what to do.. life is so complicated.. I don't have children that depend on me, but I have dogs and horses.. the dogs are easy the horses are not... at 57 am I going to go running back to my Mom to get my feet underneath and figure out what to do??? I left a very good job to move here with my Hubby... we were going to have a great time, enjoy life while we still had our health ... the last year and half have been awful, I thought once his back got better and he got off the pain meds things would be better... but they don't seem to be ..... now the economy is crap and I have been out of the work force for 2 years... to say the least I am a bit down

[twitt]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1240135 wrote: Belle, I'm with you on the bummer songs...mine's about a hired killer! What an era of songs back then!
Steady...looka here, I'm of the mind that I'm an adult, and as such, 'I don't wanna do what I don't want to!' ehehe, sounds like a child's statement. But since I got my quit on, I have learned that I must associate myself with people who will do me some good. I have simply outgrown people who sit around all day long and drink and trash other people to make themselves feel better. I don't consider this arrogance, but in my recovery I MUST associate myself with people of like mind...I just can't get down in the gutter any more...I won't! So move along, I say. I can't speak to the shared custody thing...haven't been in those shoes, but I do know that I can remove myself from an unhealthy situation, and by golly I do it! Good for you, you DON'T have to play!!
Twitt, I'm so happy to see you are still with us and participating. You are doing great! I don't know if you've ever tried to quit before, or have spent any time (to speak of) sober other than what you have going on now, but getting sober is an eye opening experience in every way. It is amazing the stuff I glazed over in an AL fog. Then I had no where to look but in the mirror....I was finally facing things for the first time in my adult life. At the same time I quit for good, I also got OFF of my antidepressant, Cymbalta. I know that it helps a lot of people, but I can tell you first hand that being off Cymbalta and off AL was the best boost of 'good' I ever did for myself. I was numb and numb-er on all that stuff! One morning after about 4 weeks off I woke up and it was as if my world was in color!!! Like Dorothy on Wizard of Oz opening up that door from Black and White to color! And I have felt wonderful ever since! YES, I have good days and blue days, but nothing like the numbing effect of Cymbalta!! Getting off AL was the best antidepressant there is...I would urge you to TRY and build up some AF days, maybe a good 3 weeks, and see if your mood doesn't perk up before going on an Antidepressant!! But whatever you do, don't stop taking the pills cold turkey....taper off them. The fewer pills I take the better I feel!!! Whataya got to loose??? You may be kicking up your heels and singing in 3 short weeks from now!! Just a thought, it sure helped me. Byrdie

I was up to the max on cymbalta for a year and my dr gradually took me off early dec. I realize al is a depressant but but the cravings get to me. I will have to talk with my dr about baclofen, councelor doesn"t give out prescriptons. I will start tomorrow on day 1, and post, after i get home from work

[Australia]

Newbies Nest

Oh herbie! That is not good at all! Yes, def. go and see a doctor, it will help to have someone else to talk to! People do understand, I also dont have children to depend on me and yes no matter how old u are sometimes we all need a little help! It's ok to need it. I haven't read back yet, just saw this, hoe is your drinking going? I'm guessing not good right now?

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Herbie, I'm sorry you are in such a tough situation!
Picking up the phone & making an appointment to talk to a counselor about your options may be just what you need. I can't tell you how much your situation reminds me of my own. Please remember that you can make your future into anything you want. My husband had a complete personality change & ran away from our life & plans as well. You are strong, believe in yourself, get some help to work your way thru the issues :l

twitt, please take care of yourself as well.

[Herbie]

Newbies Nest

Aussie

i was doing pretty good until a couple of days ago when he tore into me and I "dropped my basket" so I am on day 3 by my finger tips... his bad moods and his treatment of me are behind my increased intake of wine.. the meaner he got the more I drank... he has been out of the country since the end of Oct R&R around the Bahamas .... I thought this would be a good time for me to find myself again, but he left so much in his wake that I have had to take care of I have not had much peace... but I did find MWO and I am doing at least this one thing that is positive

[Irie]

Newbies Nest

Aw, Herbie, I'm sorry. Please take care of yourself and put yourself first.

I'll make this a quick post. Just wanted to say I'm home and all the wine in the Valley is still safely in the stores. I'm busting my buttons. I appreciate all the help today. We are all really good for each other, aren't we?

[MWOLady]

Newbies Nest

Hi all, and Herbie you must be your own best friend right now. Your poor husband must be very troubled in his own heart to be treating you so poorly and you must just be very sorry for him and try to be kind. If he were in a better place himself he would be kind to you, you know that. And you know that drinking would be the worst thing you could do for YOU right?

thank God we have each other - you people out there are the best and I'm so glad I found you all!!!! Good night!!

[Australia]

Newbies Nest

Herbie. Ok. I see. Well it is hard I agree and you need all the help you can get and zero hinderance. If that means going to a doctor or going to your mom, then so be it! There is no shame in seeking help. Strangely enough, I always think that drikibg wine will ease my pain troubles etc. As life is just so hard!!!! But I have ever felt stronger when not drinking, giving up is hard too but a different hard, it an urge hard, but there's personal strength in ur core. I hope u get an appt. soon. If ur hubbie is really bad right now, just keep out of his way if possible. Dogs help!

[canadian gal]

Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters!

SH- Good for you for getting out of that nasty situation. You are an adult and you can do what you want to do. Why waste your precious time with a bunch of drinkers? Do what you need to do to make yourself happy

Twitt- I am sorry to hear that you are going through a rough time. Al is a depressant, so usually when people stop drinking they feel better. If this is not the case, definitely see a doctor.

Herbie- My heart goes out to you. I'm so sorry about the way things are going. I'm sending you hugs！

Irie- Good for you for celebrating your birthday al free!! Congrats! I bet it felt pretty terrific, didn't it?

Well today is day 9 for me. I have a busy work weekend...no rest for the wicked. Unfortunately, it is snowing now (which almost never happens in Beijing) and I have to ride my bike to work. I'm crossing my fingers I don't take a wipe out. But I am looking forward to coming home and nestling in with a good book.

Have a great sober weekend all!

[BelleGirl]

Newbies Nest

Byrdie...what crap music did our parents listen to??? And they had the nerve to talk about our generation's music?

Irie and Herbie, I am hangin in with you guys on Day 3. When I was tired and hungry before dinner I had some "thoughts", but decided that was all they were, and that was all they were going to be.

Herbie, I can so understand what you are going through. Years ago, during my first marriage, I started seeing a psychologist and I will never forget my first words to her: "I need to decide whether or not I am going to leave my husband." Whether I did or not was not the issue...I really needed to find my voice also. Months and months, which later turned into years working with her made such a difference in my life. There is nothing wrong with seeing a shrink. Weak people are afraid to talk about their problems with a professional. Strong people (like YOU) see it as way of growing. Stay with us through all this turmoil. AL is the last thing you need at this time. We will stand by you and keep you strong.

So, days 4 and 5 are the weekend. I can do that. But I need a plan for when and if the hubby starts opening wine. I just dodged an invite from some friends to come over for "food and drinks" tomorrow...saying my husband has been working a lot and is exhausted (the truth). I am hell bent on showing up on Monday AF.

[Herbie]

Newbies Nest

MYO, when you say my hubby is very troubled, I know that and that is why I am still here.. but he makes it very difficult.. he just called, he did not say sorry.. but he was saying it without saying it... but next week I am going to find a psychologist cause I need help.. I can't handle this on my own and my AF status needs to be supported by my getting the help or I will be back to dropping my basket again soon

[Herbie]

Newbies Nest

Belle Girl you are turning out to be such a friend ... thank you

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Hope everything is OK tonightfor you Herbie. We are here to listen & support:l

Wishing all the nesters a safe & cozy night in the nest - not as chilly tonight!

Lav

[Steady Hands]

Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters

Irie ? Happy B-day and good for not drinking because it is your birthday!:day5:

Hello to ShellyT & Chicha ? stay close, this is a great, safe place.

Dinnysis ? Hi and I like all the reading your doing. I was glued to this site!!

UW ? Thanks for the insightful posts.

Twitt ? Depression is horrible and to feel the feelings we like to numb out with AL is frightening. But waking up this morning still AF, I start to believe that this is easier than knowing about those emotions and feeling some of it before AL kicks in and then add coping with hangovers and hiding to the world that we are alcoholics?. It is easier to stay totally AF than modding, and today I would like to say that it is easier to face our feelings and get the hell on with our lifes rather than adding an addiction to the mess!! Sending you a warm hug?:l Feel it?

MWOL, Lav, Byrdie ? Yeah? Looking at those descriptions this morning I wonder why I went myself! I think after a holiday with them and my reaction last night I subconsciously realize I should cut them out. Thanks for pointing it out. With a previous break up I ignored my ex?s whole circle, but because of the toxic environment I want to be around to some extend to see/ know what my children are facing when I am not there. Want to protect them, but right now I am still fragile. Need to work out to what ?some extend? means for my AF future.

Herbie ? Hope you get answers soon. I support that you go and see someone. That on its own shows some back bone!!

Have a good day!