Newbies Nest

[mauritiusdodo]

Newbies Nest

Morning nesters, I am on day 5, trying to stay strong, I struggle to keep up with the nest posts so don't post in here often as I feel bad not knowing what is going on with everyone!

[Andrew from Ireland]

Newbies Nest

Day 7 for me today folks. Had a difficult moment yesterday afternoon in work when I was mulling over my weekend plans...had an invitation to go out on the town and I did think about it, saying "sod it all, I'm going drinking"...but I realised quickly enough that (a) there was NO WAY I was telling Byrdie that I went out boozing on day 6 and (b) I would just be chasing a quick high that I'd regret the next day and that really I prefer to chase healthiness, well-being and happiness right now. So it was all good. I had a healthy dinner, watched some TV, made some plans with friends for next week to meet for coffee and food and went out for a run. I slept as soon as my head hit the pillow, that delicious tiredness and blackness that I used to chase through alcohol...it's a lot better and cheaper when you get there naturally. Up at 8am now and going off to see my little boy.
Have a good AF weekend all! And Byrdie, if you heard me calling yesterday....thanks

[dinnysis]

Newbies Nest

Sorry and thanks to all, thanks byrdlady n windy drink brought in to house last night so I failed. NOT GIVING UP!! Im gonny lurk now til Tuesday which will be my day four. My head hurts and I am embarrassed, fed up . best wishes to all. x

[Willow23]

Newbies Nest

Hello all, I'm back! Completely fell off over the past few weeks .... So starting again. I've joined the gym and have my induction tomorrow. My son is starting preschool on Monday for a couple afternoons a week which gives me more time to myself - to de-stress and relax in healthier ways than AL. The swimming pool is included in my gym membership too which will be really cool.

So here I am again. Day 1.

[windy]

Newbies Nest

dinnysis -- Please do not feel embarrassed about trying. You are still trying and that is something to feel good about. If you are not trying that is when you should feel down. Keep coming here and don't stop trying. PLEEESEE. I failed so many times in the beginning it must be a record, but I knew deep down in my heart what I wanted and I was going to get it come hell or high water, and it took some time and effort. You are a work in progress now that the wheels are in motion.

All the talk about emotions is very interesting to me. I think I have been masking my emotions pretty good for quite a long time. Yesterday I cried and cried for my Dad who passed away 15 years ago. I have NEVER done that. It got me thinking that alcohol was deadening my emotions -- good and bad. That was about the time I probably started drinking during the week. Oh well, so many things to think about now. I am not sure some of it is worth rehashing though and that is a problem too. What to forget and what to deal with???

Steady Hands -- Man I wouldn't think twice about ditching the ex and his family if it is best for you and your little one. I had to do it with my immediate family to an extent and I don't regret it at all. I am lucky we live thousands of miles a part, but I was weaning myself before and felt so much different than them, it was happening anyway; especially the super toxic one.

[Irie]

Newbies Nest

Andrew from Ireland;1240304 wrote: Day 7 for me today folks. Had a difficult moment yesterday afternoon in work when I was mulling over my weekend plans...had an invitation to go out on the town and I did think about it, saying "sod it all, I'm going drinking"...but I realised quickly enough that (a) there was NO WAY I was telling Byrdie that I went out boozing on day 6 and (b) I would just be chasing a quick high that I'd regret the next day and that really I prefer to chase healthiness, well-being and happiness right now. So it was all good. I had a healthy dinner, watched some TV, made some plans with friends for next week to meet for coffee and food and went out for a run. I slept as soon as my head hit the pillow, that delicious tiredness and blackness that I used to chase through alcohol...it's a lot better and cheaper when you get there naturally. Up at 8am now and going off to see my little boy.
Have a good AF weekend all! And Byrdie, if you heard me calling yesterday....thanks

Love this post, Andrew. I'm a few days behind you on day 4. I completely get the change in focus from chasing the quick high to instead reaching for all the lasting rewards that come from remaining AF. Congratulations on having a week under your belt!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good Saturday morning Nesters!

Expecting another unusually mild day in my portion of the nest again - nice!

Congrats to those of you who have stayed in the nest & have added AF days to your count.
To those of you who have fallen, glad you are back & starting again. Just don't give up, keep trying no matter what. If you want to be sober more than you to drink you will find success

I have a free day today so I am going to make the most of it & there will be no AL in sight

Wishing everyone a great AF Saturday!

Lav

[Unwasted]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning Nesters!

Windy, what a good thought about removing yourself from toxic famiily members. And, the emotion we feel after getting alcohol out of our systems. I too am going through some of that. I've heard that we actually stop developing when we start heavy drinking/drugging and I think there's truth in that. We can't know our real selves when we're altering our brains. We have to face life on it's own terms, and our decision-making is much clearer and correct when we're sober. Alcohol clouds our rationality and makes everything worse. Before I stopped I was confused about several issues going on in my life. Now, I'm making decisions and feeling strong.........Before I was on the fence, back and forth, waffling about is this the right way, or is that? Now, I'm facing issues head-on with a clarity I couldn't find when I was drinking.

Twitt, if you're going the bac route, please do check into the meds thread here. There is a wealth of information there. I feel for you with the depression and I'm glad you're getting help. I'm like Byrdie, though, the less I take the better off I am. I've taken antid's before, but I'm better off without anything. I think all that stuff is good if used correctly and under a doctor's care, but you have to know what you're doing to be sure. Sounds like you're going about it in the right way.

Herbie, hope you made it to day 4 so you can cope with the husband issue better today. I empathise so greatly with your animal issue. I too make life-decisions based on the well-being of my critters. I love them as much as the humans in my life and they're so dependent on us. I'm hoping you can find a temporary place for the horses while you get things figured out. Could you board them and then relocate them to your mom's or wherever you end up?

Irie, congrats on your first sober weekend!

Willow and Dinny - just dust off and give it your very best this time. Start researching and practicing using tools, like from Smart Recovery - it does take some work, but you can do it.

Byrdie, FA, K9, Australia, Lav, MWOL, CG (congrats day 10), Belle (day 4), Dodo (day 5), Andrew (outstanding job changing your plans this weekend to avoid temptation), Belle (day 4), Freefly, Pinecone.........wow, so many people here sure hope I didn't miss anyone. Not sure on everyone's number of days, but you're doing great........day 54 for me woo hoo.

LET'S MAKE IT A GREAT AF WEEKEND EVERYONE - WE CAN DO THIS!:l:l

[windy]

Newbies Nest

Herbie -- Maybe I am missing something here, but why do you have to leave? What about him? I would change the locks and see a lawyer and a police officer. Sorry if I am way off my mark here, but enough is enough. It sounds like it would be a lot easier to find him a place than for you and the animals that depend on you. Stay strong and you will find your voice.

[Unwasted]

Newbies Nest

THAT is a very good point Windy!

[MWOLady]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning Everybody. So much is going on for everyone - posts flying all around the world. So much pain, but so much progress too. People helping each other - wonderful. Herbie so good that you are going to get someone to talk through your problems with. A professional will be able to listen with "new ears" and guide you unemotionally.

To those who have not been able to stop drinking just now: just start again. I'm on day 6 today and if I told you how many times I got "do-overs" you'd laugh!!!! Every single day that you don't drink, even if it's only one day is marvellous! Then one day you really "get" it and they start piling up. Don't get discouraged. It will happen. Get a tool box going - whatever you put in there will be your personal decision - doesn't have to be drugs or supplements but look into both if you have not had success with what you're doing now - and always post if you are really having a hard time.

Just getting things down on paper can be a real release of tension - and keeping your hands on the keyboard will keep them from reaching out for the bottle. Happy Saturday to all.

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

"Just getting things down on paper can be a real release of tension - and keeping your hands on the keyboard will keep them from reaching out for the bottle. " nice MWOL!

I'm sorry to see such difficulties for so many - personally - here. Stay close and lean on us, OK?

[Steady Hands]

Newbies Nest

Andrew - I am with you! Had a call earlier from a friend returning from holiday. They are going BIG tonight and he just wanted to invite me...because they all know me as a BIG drinker!. I started my AF in mid-exams last year so he doesn't know yet. I said no immediately, but felt sooo lonely afterwards. I don't have a lot of friends, because my addiction kept me at home the past decade!
I decided to return to university late(r) in life and is roughly 10 years older than most of my student buddies. I don't feel like I totally fit in with them or my own aged people and now I am AF...
I need to adapt to more than not drinking.
But I'll be home tonight!!

AND HANGOVER FREE IN THE MORNING!!!

[Unwasted]

Newbies Nest

SH, I can relate to your post. I went back and finished my degrees at the age of 30, so I was older than everyone there. And, my two sets of close friends have moved, so we don't have a lot of friends either. For me, though, it's almost easier to go through this (especially at the beginning) without a lot of friends around. I'm most tempted to drink in social settings (some people have the opposite problem of drinking at home -- I did that too but the greatest threat to me was being around others in a "party" setting). Anyway, maybe your solitary situation can help you instead of hurt you. Then after you get a good bit of AF time and want to branch out, you won't be as tempted to party. You're doing great!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Andrew!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so proud of you I could just POP!!! You don't get a hat yet, but how bout a big horn toot!!!!:day5: Get yourself to Day 13 and your whole thinking will change!! Something clicks on that day...I can't explain it. Ima be on your shoulder from now til then, and if you even THINK of blowing it, you're going to get bopped up side the head!!! I am just thrilled at your 7 days...I wish I could give you a big hug for a job well done. Temptation is EVERYWHERE, just say, NO, HELL NO!!! Wow....if I can do it, you can do it!!!
Herbie...everytime I drank "AT" someone to get back at them guess what....all I did was hurt myself. Like everyone else has been saying, you gotta face things head on with all your marbles so you can make good decisions. No good decision was ever made with AL on board, at least for me.
Stay strong everyone, we can do it with a little help from our friends...we are NEVER alone here! xxoo, Byrdie