Newbies Nest

[allswell]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning everyone,

Snuf, another tactic you might consider if you feel you have to go is to arrive late, leave early and grab something non-alcoholic to have in your hand immediately when you arrive so no one starts asking you to have a drink.

Hope everyone has a great AF Wednesday.

[canadian gal]

Newbies Nest

Evening Nesters,

I am at the end of day 20. I can?t believe it will be 3 weeks tomorrow. Where has the time gone? The teens will be leaving tomorrow. YES!!! I know that sounds terrible, but I would really like to sleep in my own bed and actually get more than 6 hours sleep a night.

Pooks and Clear Eyes- Welcome to the nest. :welcome: This site is really awesome. CE- good for you on 15 days already! Terrific!

Noodle- Don?t be too hard on yourself. Like I always say, treat this as a lesson to be learned from. Think of it as a stepping stone towards your ultimate goal.

K9- 22 days! Woo hoo! I hope you feel better soon! :l

Snuff- I also think that avoiding social situations where there will be drinks is necessary (for me anyway). BUT, you can?t always get out of them. No need to tell anyone you?ve quit drinking. You could say you are not feeling well, you have to get up early the next day, you are trying to get healthier, you are on meds, you have to go to the hospital tomorrow for a routine check up and you can?t have any al in your system, etc. Stay strong this weekend!

SH- The booze implant sounds kind of crazy. Glad to hear you are doing better regarding the allergies. And sorry about your family situation. You can?t change that or them, but you can change your own life and we are all glad that you are doing just that. BTW, have you ever thought of writing a book? I bet you?d have a lot of interesting stories to share.

Nursie- Double digits! Yeah! Congrats! I?m glad I could put a smile on your face with my stories. Laugh away! I have to laugh too cause I am in total amazement that these girls would probably get a much higher score on a physics test than I would, but can?t crack an egg or flush a toilet. :H

Daisy- Also in double digits! Congrats! Keep it up!

Lolab- How are things going for you? Is everything ok with your mom?

Allswell- How are you doing?

Have a great day/ night all!

[Tipplerette]

Newbies Nest

Decided to hit the nest as I need a place where I can have my ups and downs and feel cozy saying it like it is. I have prided myself on having it under control but have NEVER done 30 days in a row. Mostly everyone has managed that at least once in their journey to freedom. I think I have been living in denial. Some of you have broken down your A/F goals into little segments and had success that way.

I would be so proud of myself if I could forgo the wine until I leave for my trip in April and then leave it open. No, I won't commit to anything past that. I have many weekends of socializing coming up and will challenge myself to not drink up to and including this weekend. We are going up north to pick up our new Four-Wheeler ATV and then take it on the snowy trails on Saturday. We will spend both Friday and Saturday nights up north staying at relative's cottage. They are big drinkers and I must go prepared. I will bring up my cherry juice, club soda and herbal tea.

Like many of you, I am just sick of the cycle. I never drink to the point of oblivion but there is something in my psyche that rebels against my daily wine intake although it's a fraction more than the recommended daily allowances.

I really get sick of all the empty promises I've made to this forum and myself. I sound like a broken record.

I believe the Newbie's Nest is where I belong... who knows, maybe this is where I will find the courage to be the best i can be... nestled in the feathery folds of acceptance, empathy and gentle reality checks.

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

In case anyone hasn?t read Lav?s words over and over ? ?Don't make kicking AL out of your life a difficult thing - it doesn't have to be. Make it a positive thing that you are doing for yourselves, families & friends. Start a gratitude list - write down what you are/will be grateful for once AL is history! NO more hangovers, NO more making an ass of yourselves, NO more guilt & shame, etc. Give yourselves every possible chance to win this battle. Get AL out of your house, promise yourselves you won't buy more, make a PLAN!!!!! Don't leave anything to chance, make a plan for everything & anything.?

Let?s see ? snufdizzle ? lots of us wish we would have started this journey when we were 32?.great job. ?I wanted to drink almost every hour on the hour, but when the urge came on, I occupied my brain with something else.? PERFECT! I will sometimes even walk into another room to escape the thoughts?because lord knows when I walk into another room, EVERYTHING leaves my mind ? including the REASON I walked in there! :H Another thought when invited for a drink is to say that you?re on clean living kick to start the new year?.say you?re commited to working out and eating right and taking a break from drinking.

Minstar ? you?re quietly keeping up the fight ? I am soooo happy for you. To have quit while the princess is still a baby ? just think of all the wonderful times you?ll have and remember every minute?

Vintagesnake ?are you still here?

Jane, oh be patient with the weight issue! That first week is a strange one?like you said with the strange sleep and emotional ups and downs ? feeling one minute like you can do anything and the next like a wimpering 5 year old?over 4 months, I actually lost maybe 12-13 pounds without making any real changes. AND often in the afternoon NEEDING about 10 saltine crackers with butter on them ? Just think back to less than a week ago?It always amazes me to see the changes in people....so quickly?I remember that I was so worried for you and had to run off to see my mother ? and now look at you! You?re doing great.:l

Sufi, Available,Littlepinkcat ? I hope you?re all doing well???

Irie - are you ok?:l

Noodle, cleareyes, Pooks, Rups, Allswell - welcome to the nest ? there are so many amazing stories here.

Chillgirl, it?s nice to see you here ? you?re always such a calm supporting influence .

K9, I hope you fought off that cold with tons of sleep!

Freefly ? how are things going for you?

Steady ? aren?t families a treat? What?s a booze implant?

Nursie ? I still have those crazy dreams sometimes?just had one the other night. And excellent point ? I sometimes forget the obvious?.sometimes all I need to do is eat something and the craving passes.

Pinecone, I?ve said it before?your quiet determination is an inspiration.

Stella ? our Byrdie just oozes the great feeling of being sober ? doesn?t she? :h

MWOL ? thank you for being so candid about so many things in your life ? your own sobriety and the loss of your brother?all of it is therapeutic for you and helpful to others to hear..

Mylife ? what a wonderful hubby you have?it?s funny isn?t it? We start off thinking we?ll be the outcast if we don?t drink but that usually isn?t the case.

Belle ? ?Even though I went 34 days AF in Oct./Nov., this time seems more difficult? we?ve all seen it time and time again ? and this is something that?s worth screaming from the rooftops! We ALL need to be reminded of this as available and today agreed with you. ?I do remember the first few days as terrible and didnt realise how much? Wish we could all just believe it and use it as a huge motivator to NOT try to drink again.

Unwasted ? thanks for sharing Red?s post ? I LOVE this ?I use follow thru thinking to get thru the cravings. I play the scene all the way thru to the end and realize i would end up a drunk stupid mess and end up back in a bottle, slave to the demon? That?s what I?ve been doing too.

Today ? how?s the kitty?

Jolie, Andrew and clockwatcher ? wow day 17 and 18 today ? I agree?I can?t believe I functioned on the small amount of sleep I got while drinking!

Htide ? I hope you made it through the tough time at 15 days?those early days are such a combination of ups and downs ? as you know.

Tipplerette, I agree about the nest ? it?s why I?m still here ? LOL! You see the struggles of people new and old every day here ? and by posting your difficulties and triumphs here ? you end up with lots of self discovery in the process. And the emphasis is on being successful being alcohol free?as long as you?re still trying to accomplish this, you?ll be overwhelmed with support.

Scottish ? loved your list of wonderful things?.especially ?Singing in car on way to work instead of panicing if I am going to die of liver failure because I drank too much again? it?s strange ? this might sound like a casual statement to some ?Oh, I could have just died!? but I totally understand the seriousness of it. So many times - I said out loud ?I am KILLING myself?why can?t I stop??

Daisy ? you?ve got a streak going! Great job resisting temptation?.I really think every time we do this it makes us stronger. And great idea about reading back. I spent soo much time reading back posts ? you definitely learn a lot. I?m glad you?re working through some important emotional things.:l

Canadiangal ? I?m impressed with your ability to make the most out of the situation. I bet this is something that they?ll remember fondly?I love your observations and things they?ve taught you. You?ve almost made it! And SOBER!

Me? I?m strong in my commitment to being AF. I don?t see anything in my future that can make me question that decision. It?s only been good. I can?t think back over the past 4 months and say that one second of it would have been made better with alcohol. Last year at this time I was a mess. I?m so thankful for being able to post here and for all the support and friends that I have made.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Chill, I'm so mad...if I'd gotten my head out of my ass when you did, I'd have that date down below too! Like I said, I am a very stubborn person and just refused to believe that I couldn't control it! 'Whattt-everrrr' (for you, Jane!!!) eheheh....Byrdie

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

well Byrdie, it's out now! :wd:

ps - I don't know where that really mad face came from at the top of my post!?! but I'm not.

[piper123]

Newbies Nest

Tipps I am where you are. Dissappointed in myself for my empty promises. I can barely post here. LL I took a lot of good stuff away from your post. Thank you for highlighting what is working for some. I am going to print it off and study it.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

I wish I had sense enough to go down the line...how do nesters do it??? I read each post carefully, and think to myself...'yep, they are getting it'. I wish I could name everyone, becasue it's the strength we have together that makes us work so well.
Canada, I must admit I laughed, too over you and those 2 Chinese girls...giggling and not knowing the common sense things...but you know...maybe they couldn't have come at a better time, they sure took your mind off your troubles! Being in service to others helped me tremendously, and got me out of my own pity party. Maybe you can bake a quick cake tonight with them to take to their parents as a gesture. Trust me, you give someone a cake for no reason, and you'll get a Christmas card from them the rest of your life. It's nuts, the power of cake!!! (cookies work too, and you can stash some back for yourself).
Speaking of eating, Lolab pointed out, DON'T worry at all about eating in the first 30 days or so...your body is adjusting...give it anything it wants (with ONE powerful exception). I mostly craved sweet stuff, and found help with Charms Blow Pops...they are sweet with bubble gum inside. It gave my body the sweet it wanted and gave my mouth something to do. I traveled with them....gave them to screaming kids to hush them. A hundred uses! Then I went thru the starchy stage that second month...potatoes and such. I've lost 9 pounds in this year and trust me I eat more than I ever did! It's quite wonderful.
Snuf...this is just me...but I don't tell anyone I have a problem with AL. Only hubs knows (and even HE doesn't know all!!) I hear the way other people talk about folks with AL problems and I don't like it. There is a stigma. If people think I'm an ALK they aren't saying it to my face and the way they act doesn't make me think so either...they still offer me drinks. So I would just keep that nugget to myself. A couple of tips for attending these things...HAVE YOUR STORY ready! Do not hesitate one second when asked because if you do, someone will weasle or shame you into having one. The advice others offered is great....I'm having bloodwork tomorrow, or I'm detoxing in January, or I'm driving....or that lately it doesn't agree with me...you will find that after that first round, nobody cares. Eat something before you go. Yes, be full when you get there...being hungry is a major trigger and mindless eating and drinking are natural partners. I usually order water with lime. Besides the obvious benefits...(not drinking AL and no calories or caffeine)...you will NEVER be asked to pick up the check or even pitch in!!!!! It's a win-win!!! After the first hour, you will begin to see how AL affects your friends....heads begin to hang and they start talking louder and looking at you thru the tops of their eyes...You will feel so good when you get home. And you won't be the last girl standing...get on home! Once you get a success under your belt...you won't be fearful for the next one. Stick to your guns at all costs!! You can do it. Byrdie

[stella123]

Newbies Nest

Hi everyone having a quick check before I run after the boys, tutors coming etc......At the moment (from yesterday) I am as high as a kite!! dunno if this is normal but I sure hope it lasts, bursting with energy and enthusiasm voice in my head keeps saying this cant be normal and praying I dont have a crash.
Cant emphasise enough how much I love this site all the people in it already, what a difference (for me) to AA.

I am soaking up all the advice and taking vitamins fish oils reading books staying busy, busy??? thats a new one for me normally asleep on couch!!!!

I'll be back later to see how you all are

thank you

[MWOLady]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady - thanks for those built -in excuses. I've used some of them and they really do work.

I was invited to a friend's for lunch and she told me she was making her famous cabbage rolls! She sounded so proud. But I would rather stick pins in my eyes than eat cabbage rolls!!! What to do.... so I just said I was having some "tummy issues" and couldn't eat any, but that I'd just love to take some home for DH - well she bought it!!! I went, and just drank some tea and she ate the stuff...

So I dodged a bullet on that one. But I guess it would work for drinking too. And I always eat before I go to a party, or even for dinner!!! As I eat very low-carb I sometimes can't get what I want, especially at a pizza joint so I'll eat bacon and eggs before I go. Then I order wings, hold the pizza, and I'm good to go.

And as Byrdlady said - get your excuse ready - and practice it!! And have something in mind to order. Sometimes I'll say, "no I don't want a beer, but I'd kill for a nice tall glass of iced tea." If you make it specific it shows you really WANT it.

[Unwasted]

Newbies Nest

Wow, the nest is so active! Just stopping by to send everyone my best. Day 65 for me and loving it!

Tipps - I think it's a great idea for you to be here and to break your goals down into increments!!

Have a super AF day everyone ..........it is SO worth it and being sober is fantastic. Just give it time and you'll get there!:l:l:l

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Good morning all!

I'm feeling so much better today! Started getting ready for bed at 7:45, read a book until 9:00, then put in a relaxation CD and I don't think I even made it through the first 3 minutes. I did wake up at 1:00am and was pretty wide awake so I put the CD back in and again, don't remember more than a few seconds of it. lol

Jane - I know a lot of people worry about what goes on their medical records, I have never been one of them. I figure it is what it is, if anyone wants to be critical, at least I can say that I've been seeking help for my addiction. I am changing medical facilities, so I requested my medical records and just received them in the mail. It was interesting to read them (I've never seen them before). There's NO hiding my alcoholism, I know that for a fact now. It's all there in black and white...going back a few years. My doctor practically wrote a book on me. I had no idea they made that many notes! She even quoted me a few times...I was suprised, but also kind of happy that she actually paid that much attention to me! My opinion is just to get your prescription through your insurance. But that's just my 2 cents on the matter! I'm so proud of you for getting your Antabuse...please let me know if you have any questions or concerns about it! You may feel a bit sleepy the first few days, but that's normal and it will pass.

CanadianGal - I'm happy for you that the teens will be leaving soon. I can totally relate to the non-stop giggling and talking. My girl is 14 and when she gets with other teens...oh lord. They're so silly....but that's teens for ya! My daughters friend told me the other day "I love you, you inspire me to be a better person"....I was thrown a bit, because I had no idea what I had done to provoke this outburst of emotion. LOL Anyways, enjoy your quiet after they go, and enjoy getting back into your own bed! Have you had a chance to rip the "friend" a new one yet? I'm anxious to hear how that goes. LOL

Welcome to all the Newbies...I'm glad you're here. I can't name everyone, I'm horrible with names, online and in real life, so please pardon me! I do read all the posts and even make mental notes to comment on certain things, but then poof, everything I meant to say just disappears. Thanks, alcohol. Hopefully my last remaining brain cells will stick around.

Well I'm off to catch up on other threads. Oh, I'm on day 23 and haven't give AL much thought lately, my main angst right now is still the damn ciggies :upset:

Have a good day everyone!

xoxo
K9

[Steady Hands]

Newbies Nest

Hello Nesters

Nursie – Yes, I had a booze implant 9 years ago while living with my alcoholic dad. He died 7 years ago. We discussed how to help other alcoholics. I did that to show my dad how to quit…So, stupid!! You can only help yourself.

CG – Yes, I thought of writing a book many times. Got busy after having kidz. Will get to that later in life, when I have a good ending!

Lolab – Here is what I said to Belle - A booze implant is the same drug as antabuse. Just think the concentration is higher. Basically a few tablets planted under the skin that slowly releases the drug into the body over the course of six months. It is an alternative to drinking the tablets every day for the same sickening effect when you drink AL. Usually placed where an appendix surgery would take place and scar is the same, realistic size… and yes, that is my excuse when asked about the scar! Sounds great, huh?

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Some 'byrdie' has a big anni coming up real soon

CG, congrats to you for surviving the teens AF!
Just think of all you've learned with this experience! You can forever use your new-found knowledge to handle stressful situations AF - good for you

Tipps, glad you are here!
Please, please remember it's all about your personal commitment AND staying on your plan, no matter what! If you want to be AF then you just cannot drink AL, regardless of where you are & what everyone else is doing

jane, I hope you can resolve the insurance/medical record situation without undue stress. Personally, taking care of myself right here & right now is most important. I don't worry unecessarily about what may or may not happen in the future. We have no control over the future, do we? Just do the best thing for yourself right now.

Good to see our lola back in good form today!!!!

Greetings to UW, SH, K9, nursie, Belle & everyone!

[Tipplerette]

Newbies Nest

This is what I am up against. I just committed to a period of abstinence. We make our own wine; it's good but not top of the line. Our new neighbor just came over to introduce himself and deliver three bottles of the most expensive wine (red of course) that I have ever seen. He was thanking my hubby for plowing his laneway since the snow started to fall heavily this winter.

My first thought was "F*@# it! I'll just enjoy the wine. That's how spineless I am. I actually was going to throw in the towel without Day 1 under my belt. Then, two things occurred to me; 1. I, often, don't even like the taste of fancy wines and 2. We don't have to drink them now. We can put them away and bring them out for company... later. That way I will have an easier time forgetting about them.

So, before you say what I know you're going to say, I know the above implies that I will drink again. I have not got the "forever" thing hammered home yet and this allows me to not be too easily discouraged.

So, that's that. Tonight, by way is impossible to fail as I have to drive in the dark, on an icy road on a two lane highway... the torture we go through to get our hair done.