Newbies Nest

[Pinecone]

Newbies Nest

Hello friends,

It is great to see so many people doing well. I can't remember all the names or dates, but Andrew, Canadian gal, Jane, k9Lover and so many others, you are doing great! It is just so great to see all the momentum here! I am genuinely so happy for you all.

And not to worry if we have an "off day." We're all still just human, even if quitting makes us feel like superheros (especially in the morning!). We can just put on our sweatpants and give up for the day, watch bad tv shows, get takeout, not do the dishes...This gratification of being sober is so different than the instant "gratification" of drinking. I'm rambling again, but I'll take a bad day anyday now over a drink! A drink is so much more than a bad day, it becomes a bad week, month, year, years, on and on down that awful hole that leads to nowhere. So I'll stick it out with my so called "bad day." thank you! Stay strong, friends, it is worth it!

[BelleGirl]

Newbies Nest

Hi Nestlings...just have a minute to stop by and say "howdy". I am going out to a financial seminar tonight...yay...an adult thing to do! Dinner is included, and hubby will be home with the kids. The seminar/dinner is held at a restaurant, but I have never seen anyone drinking at these seminars before. Either way...I won't be drinking even if they slapped one down in front of me. I am on Day 5 and indeed want to see Day 6. No decisions to be made there.

Hope all is well with you guys. I apologize I have not had time to read back much...just want to say I am thinking about y'all.:hallo:

[Australia]

Newbies Nest

Wow- I just had a wierd experience. On my way to work this morning to catch the ferry. I wanted to buy a sprite. I wasn't concentrating and had my head down when I looked up I had actually walked into to bottle shop next to the 7-11 and was looking in the fridges there! Boy was I surprised what my brain did. I was disgusted and high tailed it out of there pronto!!!!

[stella123]

Newbies Nest

well high as a kite feeling didn't last long back down on my ass again, fortunately without a drink though. I'll go to bed and hope I wake high again in the morning.....thanks for nowt alcohol!!!

[Andrew from Ireland]

Newbies Nest

Evening folks, Day 18 in the bag here and feeling great but my god, it's such a sneaky thing, booze, I keep catching myself absent-mindedly thinking about drinking in a "wow, I feel so healthy and great, I can surely have a few drinks at that party" kinda way. When I realise what I'm thinking I have to give out to myself! No way I'm jeopardising how much better my life is right now. Not a chance.
Anyway, just in bed now and falling asleep already. All those times after binges when I was trying to sober up I used to suffer awful insomnia. I'd close my eyes and see things, and hear a cacophony of horrible noises in my head...really dreadful. I probably had 30 or 40 nights last year where I didn't sleep at all. Horrible stuff. I can't even imagine how unhealthy that is. It's heaven now to turn out the lamp, lay my head down and feel complete peace and tiredness.......so goodnight all, take care and stay strong

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Andrew!!! I am so happy for you! Be mindful of mood swings now til around Day 30...high one minute, low the next...just ride it out and it will get smoother I promise! Glad to hear about the sleep too. Keep on succeeding! I know you can do it!! Byrdie

[Jolie]

Newbies Nest

Anyone else having trouble posting tonight? This is the 4th time I've tried to post! Think maybe my pc's been hijacked.

Day 17 for me - right behind you Andrew - you are doing great!

Byrdie - I'll watch out for the mood swings too!

Lav, Pinecone, Bellegirl, Stella, Australia - anyone I missed - hope you guys have a great night!

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Australia -
I had a weird experience today too, I was at the grocery store and I was looking for the Perrier water (sparkling mineral water, it's my NEW drink [mixed with different flavored juices]) and guess where I was looking? I was going up and down the liquor aisles....like the water would be next to the rum? I wasn't tempted or anything, I just couldn't figure out my distorted thinking. And as I glanced at the sale displays of 12, 18, 30 packs of beer, I was saying "Wow what a good price". Again, I didn't even think twice about actually drinking, but it's just funny HOW conditioned our brains are. Well not funny, sad really. But we can ignore all thoughts...I forged ahead but never did find my mineral water! (And yes, I finally made it to the water aisle...LOL)

[MWOLady]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady, I'm glad you mentioned to Andrew about the mood swings - I have been a real bitch lately, after being really high for the previous few days - WTF???? So, does this mean I'm not really a bitch? Thank Goodness!!! Must be the Topa eh? This is day 17 - I think...my mind is a blank for the most part - short term memory is not very reliable but that's ok - who cares. Lots of GABA, 5HTP, and Topa floating around in the ole brain, but at least no booze sloshing!! Thanks goodness for this forum - saving my life...

[allswell]

Newbies Nest

Day 10 here and have not noticed any mood swings although yesterday I did become unusually impatient. I tried to cram too many things into my lunch hour and the pharmacy was way too unorganized when I was waiting to get a flu shot. Does that count as a mood swing or just normal life stuff? Whatever it was I'm just glad to be back in tune with a sober, healthy lifestyle again.

[Nursie]

Newbies Nest

Evening Nesters!
Everyone is doing great!
My evening ride home from work is still an extreme challenge for me as I want to stop and buy wine. I have been making a phone call to a friend or work stuff to keep me busy so that I don't stop. (I think the habit is just going to take a while).
Once I'm home I still have cravings, but I'm not leaving and I'm pretty much out of the woods.
I'm cooking a delicious dinner and having a nice hot cup of Tulsi tea. Somebody on here was raving about it and I searched 4 stores until I found it, and it is DIVINE!!!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

The mood swings, nighmares & weird daydreams will all cease newbies ~ just hang in there
You won't be;ieve the enormous change in thinking habits & patterns you'll devlop over time!

Just heard we may get a coating of snow tomorrow evening - maybe you too Jolie?
Tomorrow is my daughter's birthday & it was a frozen wonderland back then :H

Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the nest. Keep up the great work!!!

Lav

[snufdizzle]

Newbies Nest

Jane27 – thanks for the advice on avoiding right now. I really think that making an excuse not to go is best, but I don’t think I can continue on with the excuses. It’s tough because I don’t feel strong enough but I want to see if I have what it takes to really be AF when the going gets tough.
Lavande – You’re right that after my friends start drinking they won’t even notice me!!
Available – The ulcer idea is great! My friends won’t question that!
Steady – I just want you to know that your story of drinking and school has remained in my brain. It’s inspirational to me to know that someone has been there and found the strength to get out.
Nursie – thanks for the supporting words! I will try my best to remain sober – but I am also mindful that I may slip up! I am so envious of your 10 day mark!! Drinking after work is usually my staple…need to drown the day away. It’s my weakest moment.
Allswell – I think your suggestion is probably the one I am going to go with. I show up late anyways, so if I show up and grab a sprite as soon as I get there, no one will notice!
Canadian gal – thanks for the slew of suggestions! I am sure I will use more than one as the days go on! Congrats on day TWENTY!! You are doing great! 
Lolab – Thanks for the support. I know I am young, but knowing that the road that I am on will just get longer and longer if I don’t nip it in the butt. You really made me laugh with your comment about forgetting why you walked into the room to begin with! I have those days, too!
Tripplerette – Stay strong!! I feel like you in that I don’t think a glass of wine a night is horrible – but for me, it’s the fact that I can’t go a night without desiring it that is the problem. Just keep your mind on your goals and you can do it!
ByrdLady – Thanks for the great advice. I agree with you about talking about my problem openly – there is a stigma. It’s like people make automatic assumptions without really thinking about how hard it is to 1) admit and 2) do it. I’ve been a functioning alcoholic for years and I keep up a good show…telling people will wipe away all of those years that I kept up my persona! I kept looking at your AF date and thinking that it was this year, but then I noticed the 2011 after it (and had an awakening that it’s 2012). You are doing great!!! Tomorrow is your year mark!! CONGRATS, CONGRATS, CONGRATS!

I am on day four and feeling good. I went to an AA meeting tonight and had a revelation. When I first walked in and looked around, I thought for sure I am not an alcoholic as I didn't look like them. But then they started talking and I realized that I am one of them. I can trick my mind all that I want, but I know the truth. I have a problem. As I was sitting there listening, all I wanted to do was get a drink. I felt sad and I usually run to alcohol when I am sad (or happy) but I didn't. Instead I ate a poptart...it seemed to do the trick. Soon I'll need to find a forum for poptarters!!

I just need to keep reminding myself that I am doing the responsible and right thing. I've got a whole life ahead of me and if I continue on this path, my life won't be worth living in a few years. I'll need to remind myself of all of the above soon, I am sure.

Good night, nesters!

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

Just read through all of today's posts - Woh, some great stuff. Am I glad I checked in tonight.
A couple of posts stuck out for me, only because they were relevant to where I am now; Byrdie, the reminder about nights out and after an hour or so we can see the damaging effects alcohol is having on friends and others. I have done this a lot in the past year but needed a reminder - thanks for that.
And Andrew, I am so happy for you. I remember you from a couple of different times last year. I know exactly what you mean about looking well, feeling great; then you see yourself as 'normal' and those drinking thoughts sneak in.....it's about being aware, isn't it? I had one of those moments this evening.

Out for another very fast 4 mile walk tonight - find it so much easier without the fags.
And I have found going NF is helping in other ways - I normally have to drive to the shop every night to get a packet, and that is when I sometimes sneak to the off-licence and get a couple of bottles.......as it is, there is no reason to leave the house.

Had a cooking frenzy today - cooked ahead for the next 4 days and freezer stocked; that'll leave me time to whip this house into shape.

Said to my daughter tonight that I felt like a bottle of wine - she is 17; she says 'aw mammy, no wine' and came over and gave me the biggest hug.......made my day! My 16 yr old told me she was proud of me and my 18 yr old is walking most days with me.....
I could say this is 'pressure' or see it for what it really is; one of the major benefits of being AF!!!!! Great stuff!

Thanks to you all and I wish all of you a good night and even better tomorrow.....

[Today]

Newbies Nest

Day 3 for me, still dealing with shame, guilt but doing lots of reading here tonight. Feel pretty good but really hoping for good nights sleep. I'm so due!

Congrats on day 4 Snuf, I'm craving salty but thinking a poptart sounds mighty fine!

Nursie, loved your rant on that thread.. so true

Well, my friends don't quite miss the social me cause my thing was to cancel plans at the last minute cause I wanted to drink at home alone. I actually go out when sober!

Andrew, I probably had about the same # sleepless nights, they're the worst. I always resent them cause I'm thinking but I didn't drink, I'm being "good" getting ready for Monday morning, whatever... and u just can't get your reward. But its great when it comes and we do deserve it. Jeesh, never get ALL those brain cells back