Newbies Nest

[Jolie]

Newbies Nest

:welcome: Sbyankee!

You are in the right place - stay close and well done on day 5!

[Unwasted]

Newbies Nest

Jolie, I feel like this too some days..........and I also lash out at my poor husband......most notably between 5-7 p.m. Hmmmmmmmmmm.....wonder what the significance of that time frame could be.:H Anyway, I'm thinking it's pretty "normal." After all, we're trying to overcome decades of plying ourselves with alcohol.....no small feat, but doable if we really want it. I'm having a tough day today - just that feeling you describe -- some despondency. Tomorrow will be a better day as Scarlet would say.

:welcome:Welcome SB - yes you're in the right place. Tell us more about yourself -- we're all helping each other here -- all struggling with trying overcome the grip of alcohol!

Ann, I'm so glad to hear that you're back on track - we need you! If you feel like it, I'd love to hear more about your "fall." If not, I understand.

Jane, way to go on 12 days - seems like you just got here and you're already approaching two weeks! Super

Tim, I remember you........thanks for coming back and checking in -- sounds like it's been pretty easy for you!

Pinecone, your post is interesting. Do you really think when you were trying to moderate that you couldn't? I think that's probably true -- that when most people get to a certain point of problem drinking, they know deep down they're not going to be able to control it enough.......interesting.

Hugs and peace to everyone in the nest - we can do this!

[red67]

Newbies Nest

Hey all, i just wanted to drop in and let you know you are doing great. I read your stories and posts and i just wanted to tell all of you that it takes so much courage to do this and post about your struggles and successes. It really helps to have a good support system and for many of us this is the only place where we can go for understanding and help.

Just wanted to also give you a tip on what helps me to stay sober no matter what. Number 1 for me is knowing that i do not drink no matter what. If that is not strong enough for me i go to follow thru thinking. I play out the whole scene in my head (and being truly honest...no sugar coating it). When i think it all the way thru, how it will make me feel, how it will not help or solve anything, how crappy i will feel in the morning, being scared about who did i call or text and what stupid things did i say, how guilty i will feel about giving in to a momentary thought/craving, and biggest of all that i never want to be on day one again (if i could ever even get back on the wagon). When i put it all together i realise it is not worth it. It comes pretty automatic to me now but i did have to practice this thinking many many times at first. Once you learn how to get past these thoughts your thinking really does get stronger and more logical.

Keep up the great work and never give up!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Evening Nesters...Welcome SByankee....you have landed in the best possible spot IF you are trying to STOP drinking and get it the heck out of your life! Well done on Day 5 already! You are kicking butt! Stick close and read all you can, and post...tell us what brought you by our place!
Jolie, sorry you are having a bad day....remember you will almost NEVER have 2 bad days in a row....tomorrow is going to be great! (mood swings...God love us)
Lav, hope you got your dinner sorted out...hope you aren't having chicken...Bahahaha! Love to all!! Byrdie

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

I did have chicken Byrdie :H :H
Bought it at the supermarket yesterday

Great job Timpin, good to see you!
Keep going

Hello & welcome SB. Congrats on your 5 AF days!

Jolie, the mood swings of middle age can be fierce - been there but long over them now (thank God for HRT)

Hope everyone is having a good evening, plan on a safe nice in the nest
Lav

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

Hi everyone; today has been a real trial for me. I feel like I sat through hours of just wanting to go get a drink and talking myself out of it. I am ok now but feel mentally exhausted. I have had this many AF days before but if the urge was as strong as it was tonight I definitely would have caved.
I have been sticking to the nest and reading anything that is relevant - reading back on how some of our success MWOrs coped around the same stage that I am at now.....and what it was that made them say 'no' to AL and 'yes' to life.
I think the main thing that got me through tonight was thinking about all the changes I have already made in my life due to drinking less alcohol over this past year. Then the 'knowing' that as long as I continue in my sober life, there are endless opportunities and possibilities; also the 'knowing' that if I drink tonight, I will drink tomorrow night, and possibly the next 3 or 4 until I want peace again. Drinking tonight would mean I don't go to mass in the morning, I don't swim tomorrow afternoon, I won't go to the gym or swim on Monday and I will not go to the disability group where I volunteer on Monday night. I won't fill in the job application form sitting by my side. I won't visit my Goddaughters baby tomorrow with her first birthday present. The housework will remain undone. I may smoke again and I will definitely look like shite. I will have to regret it all over again and go to day 1 all over again. I will have to do the sleepless nights that happen in the early AF days. I will have to give myself time to feel like exercising again.

If I 'had' taken that drink tonight, I would be unhappy and disappointed in myself even while swallowing it down - this I know, as I have done it many times. There may have been a satisfaction that I could drink that disappointment in myself into oblivion........and then the cycle begins; do I really want to go there again? Have I learned enough since October 2010 to be able to follow through this time and kick this shit out of my life for good?

I had a really tough one tonight, but the harder I fought, somewhere deep inside I knew that I was not depriving myself of anything - I have learnt so much and I knew that what I was fighting for was the life I desire. I have a goal and I intend to reach it, no matter what!

Just saying.......

[stella123]

Newbies Nest

sorry to hear u had a rough night daisy, I am on day 15 and finding Kudzo and vitamins a great help, keep your chin up you are doing great and I really do enjoy and identify with your posts.

hoping you have a good sleep and a better day tomorrow xx

[Hypernova]

Newbies Nest

Hey Daisy.............Sorry you had a tough time of it tonight but thanks. Thanks for giving me all the reasons I need and then some the next time a thought of having a cocktail pops up in my mind. It is tough and I am sure it is worth it... just haven't gotten to the point where I can truly appreciate it yet. Have a good nite and get some rest.........

[Today]

Newbies Nest

Great post Daisy! As soon as I read it, I immediately thought about what would happen if I drank tonight, what would happen if I drank any night really. You too Red, sometimes thinking about those things we would do are good reminder why we're here.

On Day 6 and starting to get the evening cravings... I'm past my worst though, cause if I had drank last night, I would have already had a few (its 5pm) to ease the pain and been buzzed already, and not going over to my boyfriends for a movie and popcorn night. I'd be hiding with my bottle making more excuses. Then tomorrow same thing... I really like the fore-thinking of what would/could happen

Keep going newbies and oldies, welcome Sbyankee!

:thanks:

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good for you thinking it all through Daisy ~ that's exactly how it's done

I was thinking last night when I first started here the Tool box was in it's beginning stages & the writings of WIP (Work in Progress) really, really helped me get to thinking. Look on the first few pages of the Tool box for her posts - very helpful!

[mylife]

Newbies Nest

Hello All,

Catching up on posts - so many! Daisy, hang in there. I know that I for one can relate exactly to what you're feeling many times over the past year. But it's so not worth it to have that drink or you're back to day one and cravings etc.

Jolie - I can so relate to your post as well! Around Day 16 or 17 for me I had what I can only call a "meltdown" with my husband over absolutely nothing! I wondered what it was all about but now that I think back it was around the old "witching hour" and we'd been through a weekend full of temptations I'd avoided...maybe it just added up and came together in that one moment a few days later. Who knows....! And definitely in my case it could be hormonal...but nice to know I'm not alone with these mood swings.

So many people are doing such a great job. Welcome Sbyankee! This is a great site!

Lav - Chicken??!! From the supermarket? :H

Have a fantastic AF evening all.

[Willow1]

Newbies Nest

:lHi Everyone. Thanks so much for your support and guidance. It has been truly inspirational and amazing. I find it is making it so much easier to start excepting the idea that has been tormeting me for so long. That alcohol and I no longer mix. I'm on Day 2 and I feel better than yesterday. Cravings are there but my mood has lifted 100%. It hasn't hit afternoon here yet, when my drinking hours begin, but I just feel like I can do this if I really want to, even though I know there will be hurdles and temptations.
MWO - I agree there will always be a reason to drink. One desperate time when I was depressed and drunk I rang the AA hotline & spoke to a volunteer. The lady said to me that when we have a problem with alcohol we drink whether we're 'mad, sad or glad', there will always be a reason. That has stuck with me and I think about her from time to time.
Unwanted - Your comment that we never felt deprived before we drank really resonated with me. I'ts a great point.
Byrdie- Thanks, it was tough, I don't want that feeling again. Your year is an inspiration
Lavende - I think green tea is a great option also. Popping in a few choc coated licorice pieces helped me too yesterday!
Timpin - Congrats on your AL free time, exercise and weight loss. You must be feeling great!
Skyankee & all day 13ers- Well done!
Lifechange - best of luck with Day 1, stay strong. I am trying to too!
Ann - You achieved so much already & you can do it again.
Star congrats on day 2.
Red67 - Your advice on how to stay strong was really helpful!
:thanks: :h

[Nursie]

Newbies Nest

Hugs to you Daisy. You fought a battle today and now you rest and wake up happy and sober tomorrow.
Welcome YByankee.
I went to dinner at Friendly's. No alcohol pushers there. I had comfort food...grilled cheese and tomato soup. And my favorite, raspberry iced tea! What a nice time.

I still have all day tomorrow to finish cleaning and go grocery shopping.

[allswell]

Newbies Nest

Good work Daisy,

Let's get through today and move on to day 14. We unfortunately have to go through struggles like this to get us in a stronger position to tell alcohol to go to hell. Treat yourself to something special on day 14, you deserve it!

[Unwasted]

Newbies Nest

Red, thank you for stopping by the nest. Your posts always help me. And Daisy, the detail in your post was wonderful too.......that's exactly what happens - that domino effect where alcohol negatively impacts absolutely everything. If we can just continue to think things through like that, we'll make progress and be able to resist that short-term fix we're looking for that's really just an illusion anyway!

I keep holding onto the thought that if I can just keep going, knowing that it will be hard but by no means impossible, eventually I'll get to where the obsessive thinking is gone and being a non-drinker will feel pretty natural.....that's what I'm counting on and what keeps me going. I'm already getting a glimmer here and there of that feeling.

Williow - you're doing super and trying to remember positives is a smart way of motivating yourself.

Lav, I'm going to look up some posts by Work in Progress. Thanks.

Today - day 6! Keep it going! Stella day 15!! Great! Hyper, Byrdie, Allswell, Nursie, My Life, Jolie, SB - greetings to you and all the other peeps visiting the nest this evening.

Big hugs to all.:l