Newbies Nest

[Nursie]

Newbies Nest

Crap. I'm sad that I will be seeing less of Daisy and Steady but please check in!
I know how demanding school can be!

I usually just check in from my phone, hence why I don't even have an avatar or siggy line yet! Lol

I have some challenges with Mr. Nursie and his job, and also our daughter with a little bit of mischief. So i am so glad to be sober and able to let him rest and support him through this time. And to be on the money when it comes to teenagers, and be sober....priceless!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters!

Waiting for the sun to rise but it's a no show so far today, oh well!

SH & Daisy, hope you both check in from time to time, we'll miss you.

allswell, living without the anxiety is probably (at least for me) the biggest gift of an AF life

SL, glad to see you moving along. We all have to learn how to get back out in the world & still remain true to our AF goals. If you mentally take drinking as an option completely off the table
you will be doing yourself a huge favor!

lifechang, you've got the right attitude

nursie, spouses & teens indeed are a huge source of stress, have been there
Staying true to yourself & your AF goals will inspire them all!

OK, off to another busy day!
Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Wednesday!

Lav

[Irie]

Newbies Nest

Good morning. Waking up to day 5 and a day full of promise. I don't know why I would ever want to trade this feeling in for the fleeting fun of downing a bottle of wine. The answer is I don't and I won't!

I have to do quite a bit of driving today on really icy roads, so I know my nerves will be shot by tonight. I will be back, though, to let you know that I have day 6 in my sights! Hang in there everyone, and keep your eye on the prize.

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

nursie I hear ya with the teenager stuff...I was just thinking the other day about how in the he!! I would keep ahead of mine if I was drunk all the time....answer? I wouldn't. I wouldn't be able - in the upcoming years - to tell him to CALL ME rather than get in a car with someone who'd been drinking....because I ALWAYS would have been drinking, myself. I wouldn't have the ambition to follow up and see if he is where he says he'll be...and I wouldn't have the patience to have his friends at OUR house instead of others where there are no parents around.

Daisy and Steady - Everybody's gotta do this their own way - that's for sure - but just be careful, OK? You are both cared about very much and I know that in my case - the more I stayed away from the nest - the more my thinking shifted away from thinking I had a problem....I seemed to feel that I could handle things on my own and slowly eased back into drinking. So be on the lookout, ok??? :l

Another thought occurred to me this morning...I woke up to another nicely picked up kitchen....and was thinking about how lots of people are talking about this great side effect of being sober. Suddenly feeling interested again in our surroundings. Painting, Cleaning, Decluttering, redecorating, etc...It feels GREAT! BUT - I do know that I got to a point - hmmm...I'm trying to think about exactly when it was....definitely after 30 days....when I started getting bored with the routine. I truly felt like a boring organized person. "OK, there's no denying that this is kinda nice - but is this ALL there is? No wonder I drank!"

I'm sharing in case even ONE of you have the same feelings and can identify - to give you hope. For me, it was another "phase" - another leg in the journey - to figuring out who I am sober. I find at times, I'm going off the deep end a bit with my "obsessions"....:H. I'll pick up paint chips for 3 different projects at once....spend hours deciding how to reorganize my spice drawers...decided I'll make all my own cleaning products (yes, me too!) , fill up the garage with trash bags of stuff to be thrown out, ordered a "few" different workout DVD's to keep things "interesting",...bought new "green" personal care items...and got bucketloads of new and different supplements to be healthier.

I've decided it's a little like a pendulum...I swung so far in that direction I started thinking I was NUTS! But when you've neglected some of those things for so long, it's hard to not want to make up for lost time. Even though my home was never filthy - there were always things that I wanted to do, and being drunk all the time didn't allow me to do them....So, when my pendulum swung so far out there then I was in limbo wondering how people live like that - come on! picke up house is one thing but COME ON!

Now (Oh my gosh I just realized tomorrow is the 26th!) - at 4months sober - :wd: - I think I'm swinging back to reality a bit - I'm finding other things to do other than cleaning and organizing. And I don't feel boring - not at all. I clearly see that I was boring - TERRIBLY BORING - all those years of drinking...it only takes a couple seconds to see through the illusion - the fake memories - that I have - of my life - and realize how things really were....and where they were headed. It wasn't pretty.

So enjoy the motivation - get things done! Just remember - if you end up where I did - thinking "is this all there is?" that it's one more LAME attempt by alcohol of trying to worm its way back into your life....Of course that's not all there is...Every day as you get more and more comfortable in your own skin - you'll be able to try more and more things sober. Things you maybe have always done - but suddenly they seem too risky - like going into that store...little things like that will build up into bigger things - like hosting a dinner party - or enjoying a vacation sober or going out of town for a convention and staying sober! They're all important steps along the way...:h

[Pinecone]

Newbies Nest

Good morning friends,

Nursie, I am impressed with your attitude, and I think you are on to something. It is a powerful thing to be grateful for our ability to be there for others. It takes alot of guts to make that shift because we have to realize and admit that we weren't really there for our family/loved ones for a while when we were drinking.

Steadyhands, we'll miss your posts! Be cool, stay in school!

Ranger, I hope you are feeling well. Take good care of your body right now, good food, plenty of sleep, vitamins, a little light excercise if you feel up to it.

Lifechange, yes you are right. You can handle anything without a drink, in fact you can handle it better without one. The AF life that you and many others are fighting for is worth it!

Lola, your post made me smile. I am still waiting for my cleaning phase to kick in...LOL maybe I'm just lazy!

[BelleGirl]

Newbies Nest

Hi guys...I need to stop by here every day to "fill my bucket"...and thank you all that are so good at filling everyone else's buckets. Seems like a lot of us are so busy, however, there are those that take the time to call out people by name. That is so kind and appreciated. I wish I could just do the same.

I'm still here...hmmmm.....Day 12! Waiting for the big Day 13 tomorrow. I began feeling a bit complacent yesterday, so time to step up my resolve.

Have to run out and get my grey roots covered this morning. Hope all is well in the nest. I'll be back to read and catch up later.
:h

[BelleGirl]

Newbies Nest

Whoa Lolab...I just had time to read the first paragraph of your post. Powerful stuff to me too...as I have an almost 12 year old, and those teen years are just around the corner (and an 8 yr old who thinks she is a teen also). Oh how I could screw things up by drinking during these years!!

[Unwasted]

Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters,

Just posted forever on the Jammer thread, so running out of time.........but just wanted to send a cheery hello and tell you that life is good and keeps getting better. Sure, you're going to have ups and downs, but just try to enjoy every moment and the smallest of things. Be mindful rather than in a rush, be thankful for all the good things in your life, and cherish the fact that you are learning how to be sober and live life on its own terms. It takes work but after a bad day a good one usually follows, and even if you think of drinking, you'll always be glad the next day that you rode out that craving. You'll feel healthy and happier in the long run.

Day 72 here and going strong.

Sending everyone hugs and lots of good sober vibes. We CAN do this!!:lilheart:

[MWOLady]

Newbies Nest

Morning Everyone!!! Hey LoLab!! Great post and some great insights into the way our minds work :H:H

I'm not going to be posting here anymore...not that I haven't enjoyed it, and I certainly have learned a great deal from everyone...simply that I have been neglecting lots of other things. It's amazing how time consuming this is. But I will be posting mainly on the Canucks thread.

So thanks for all helpful comments, and thanks for all the wonderful ideas and sharing of your experiences. Saved my life, let me tell ya :h:h

[Tipplerette]

Newbies Nest

Don't worry MWO Lady, I'll fill in where you left off. I am going to post in the Nest every day... Lolab's post really hit me. There is SO much I want to do rather than veg out in front of the TV. I want to learn French since I've lived with Francophones for the past ten years and my French is only at about 50%. I want to learn to play that beautiful organ that sits in my cottage in all it's dusty glory. I want to read all those spiritual books that UnWasted has recommended and then some. And the decluttering I began when I took 5 days off drinking a few weeks ago.

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Pinecone, "I am still waiting for my cleaning phase to kick in" -that doesn't surprise me...you have seemed so level-headed all the way through this...:-)

Belle, it's scary, isn't it? Even sober - parenting takes lots of concentration and awareness...it's just not meant to be done when you're drinking.....

Wow! So many "graduates" ! :goodjob:

Best wishes to all those moving on! Poor Lav and Byrdie must feel like I'm that adult kid who never moves out. :H I still feel pretty much newly sober still - so I hope its ok that I continue in the nest for awhile....if it ain't broke - why fix it?

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

cross post Tipplerette...yeah! take advantage of that burst of energy that comes with being newly sober...and when you start thinking - ah this is boring...just ride it out little while longer...things level out. Then you start to figure out how to have fun and be silly AND STILL have some time to do those things - because you're not drunk or hungover. Not just one or the other. For years I had "fun" with alcohol...but nothing else (and fun - it ended up NOT being) - no reading, no "projects" - no following my interests...so it makes sense that when we stop the drinking we're overwhelmed with the desire to follow through on all those other things....balance comes later. I'm getting there! :-)

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

:H:H Lola - I've been in the nest for 3 years next month :H:H
Stick around as long as you like

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

yeah, but Lav, you gotta keep us all in line!!!!!! you couldn't leave even if you wanted to!...:H

[Laughing loud]

Newbies Nest

Just checking in for my daily dose of resolve for day 5. Glad to hear everyone is doing so well! I don't want to get complacent... I sort of feel this has been too easy. Maybe the lightbulb just came on?

Lolab and pinecone....I sure do wish my cleaning phase would start soon, too!