Newbies Nest

[mrsg]

Newbies Nest

hi guys,

hope everyone is keeping well. Just a quick update, I had my D&c on Friday, it was not too bad but I just feel numb at the moment. I'm really craving AL but I won't give in. I'll have 4 months done on Wednesday and I'm not going to let anything ruin that for me. I miss feeling pregnant but I'm sure that will pass. thank you for all your kind messages and I hope you all are having a lovely Sunday xxx

[Unwasted]

Newbies Nest

Irie, I really relate to your post about vacationing. That's the very hardest thing for me to re-learn. Of course, the problem would be that if you drank that one time a year (or however many vacations you take), it would start the addiction cycle all over again. Frustrating, to be sure. But, on the plus side, I have read people post about having their first sober vacation and it being good. I've not had one yet, but I guess it's doable. Maybe you can devise some ways to avoid certain times with friends and venture off alone or with your husband? Not sure, just thought I'd throw it out there. Maybe you could log in here from time to time? I feel what you're saying, but also know whenever I had drunken times in the past, my rememberance of them was always lacking the hangover....you know, I'd pick and chose the good to remember and conveniently forgot the bad.

Inchy, good going on your AF days!

Sending everyone peace and strength. :lilheart:

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Mornin.....
Lolab...your question is a good one...and I find it sad to say that with my WHOLE year of sobriety, I can only speak to one event that I've had a duplicate. This last was my first birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's without drinking. It WAS different, but do-able. My duplicate, however, is a doozey...and those were my company meetings...a Drinker Who's Who...An Alcohol Free For All...a race to the bottom for the really problem drinkers. The first one was HARD! Free AL, are you kidding me??? But I did it. I was concerned about the second one, as you know...but I found that it WAS easier, havng been thru it. I am looking forward to spring this year..to get out in the yard and enjoy things that I let slip....last spring, I was still timid and unsteady...didn't want to go out much and test the waters. I am now ready for this year...
Irie, a vacation is the one other thing I haven't done. But it will be like any other challenge we face in this. Invision yourself succeeding. Imagine that you are sitting there with YOUR fruity AF drink and enjoying and particpating and remembering the conversation. I must remind myself to not fall for the hype that my mind can conjure up...carefree, sunny afternoons with birds cheaping and control over my AL intake....it is all fantasy....I do NOT have to have AL to have a great time. In fact, AL=Horrible Time. I must never forget where AL takes me. And it's no vacation!!! You can do it, plan for success and you will have it.
Happy Sunday everyone...InChains, so happy to see you...You can do this......Byrdie

[Irie]

Newbies Nest

Unwasted, I laughed out loud when I read your suggestion to take a walk with my husband to get away from the drinking... he's the leader of the pack!

But I do think I can start thinking differently about the whole experience. Byrd, you're right, I do romanticize the whole thing and if I look at it really hard I can see that we miss lovely dinners on the beach because we are passed out in our room at 7 pm. How's that for romantic?

Speaking of dinners- that's another thing. I've been on a perpetual diet for the last 20 years to make up for all my alcohol calories. I don't even let up on vacation, because I want to look good in my bathing suit (vain, yes, I know!) But I've been thinking that this year I could focus on wonderful meals and decadent snacks to "make up" for the alcohol I'm giving up.

Mrs.G, I'm happy to see you here and glad you are hanging in there. Life is just so unfair sometimes.

[Unwasted]

Newbies Nest

LOL Irie, ok, scratch the walk with hubs.:H:H

[allswell]

Newbies Nest

Hey Irie,

Sounds like the trip to Jamaica might be a tuffy. It's not one of those all inclusive places is it? I went to one a couple of years ago and the booze was everywhere but there were also activities and a nice fitness center to get away from the drinking. At this stage, for me, my sobriety is so important I'd probably get some antabuse for the trip just in case. Something to think about.

[Irie]

Newbies Nest

The Antabuse is a good idea, Allswell. I've played around with the idea of getting it, but hadn't thought about in in relation to the trip. Like you said, it's something to think about. Thanks!

[Unwasted]

Newbies Nest

Irie, that's what I'm doing. I ordered Antabuse (it takes about two weeks) and am keeping it in reserve for vacation.........I've not been on one AF ever! I took two vacations in my previous two attempts to not drink, and blew it on both!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters!

Wonderful to see everyone here today, walking the walk.....making progress

Mrsg, good to see you back. Glad to hear you have remained AF during this difficult time. Hope everything settles down for you.

IC, congrats to you as well!

Irie, honestly a trip to Jamaica with a group of drinkers.....is it too late to cancel?
That would be difficult for anyone to cope with let alone a newbie. Have you talked to your doc about Antabuse?

Hope everyone has a safe & cozy night in the nest - still very cold in my neck of the woods.
Lav

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

just a quick GOOD MORNING!!!
have to run off to work, so will check in later.
a wonderful monday to you all!

[shueaddict]

Newbies Nest

back to the nest

Well, this is mostly writing to myself, to remind myself once again, as if I needed it, that AL has devastating effects on me.

Last night I hit a new low ? I hit my son ? playfully yes, but too hard ? apparently I was playing rough with my 7 year old son and his friend and chasing around I smacked him too hard ? he complained to my bewildered hubby. The sad part is that I have no recollection of it ?I could not sleep last night ? feeling guilty and paranoid. AL has kept me up before but never like this, I tried and tried to remember what happen to no avail. The guilt is overwhelming even now.

I still have a dull pain in my right side ( the liver, no doubt) and had a slight rash from last week. I know this is a result of poor liver function, yet, I continued my Russian roulette game of one day drinking one day not really.

I have managed before to mentally abstract myself from AL?s pull ? I swear it feels like the gravitational force of a black hole. I need to summon my strength once more and pull free. Being honest with myself and you guys at MWO is step one.

[Irie]

Newbies Nest

Good morning, Shue. I don't know what to say to make you feel better, except that I've read your posts when you are AF and also when you are trying to mod, and they are like night and day. When you aren't drinking you are confident, funny and full of purpose. I'd noticed you weren't around for the last little while and was worried about you. I'm glad you're back.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good Monday morning Nesters!

Remains very cold here, can't wait for signs of Spring!

Shue, there is absolutely no good reason for us to continue pouring poison into ourselves. AL brings out the worst in each & every one of us. Recommit yourself, you know what you need to do.

Hello Irie & everyone, wishing you all a great AF Monday.

Lav

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning peeps!

Just a quick post to let everyone know that I will be at an out of town meeting this week for work and will try to keep up with you all through reading posts and you all will be in my heart, but I prolly can't post a lot. This week will be a true test for me as there will be many opportunities to drink. Tonight there will be a seafood cookout with free booze :upset: I could just skip it, but I dearly love seafood and really want to eat some. I hope it tastes good with iced watter
Just need to stick to my guns and realize that I can not drink, no matter what and no matter who.
Jane, hope you are feeling better :l
Shue, so sorry things have not been going well for you. We are here for you :l
Irie - my first thought, like Lav, is that if I had that challenge coming up, I just don't know how I would handle it and might consider cancelling....even though I have never been on a cruise in my life and would love to go. Hey I will go with you and be your personal body guard. I promise I won't let you drink
Everyone sounds so good and strong and I will miss you this week. But when I get back, I will be ready for my hat :H (due on Saturday ~!)
Love you all so much
Star

[shueaddict]

Newbies Nest

Irie, actually your post made me feel better, and even smile really; you thought that I came across as confident and funny while sober ? yes, that would be the real me. I have noticed a personality change ? the day (or days) after overdoing the alco I get depressed, sad, quiet and very unlike my usual bubbly self. But I felt that I needed to put it out there, the lows as well ? the cautionary tale. I need to revisit this sometime, when everything seems to be going well, just to remind myself of what I am trying to escape.

Lav, mother hen, thank you for being here for your chicks. I know what to do.

Step 2 ? tell hubby tonight ? that I need more AF time ( 30 days for starters ) ? that the previous AF time did not ?cure me?. He is supportive, but not really aware of the nature of AL addiction. He told me Amy Winehouse was a very silly girl for drinking herself to death.