Newbies Nest

[ava]

Newbies Nest

Thanks for much for the info. IT's getting to be witching hour for me. Time to start cooking dinner. I wish this was not such a trigger. Anyway, have to pick kids up at 6:00 so I know I'll make it until then. Then it will take a lot of strength. I'm going to bed early. If I can actually get to sleep.

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

Yes, Tim

Please share your insight with us. That would be invaluable, I think !

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good afternoon all!

ava, I switched out my wineglass for a large mug of decaf green tea - that's what I drink when I'm cooking dinner. Just do it & it will soon become your new & improved habit

SH, reading about your anger issues reminded me of something.....
I was eternally mad at my husband for not behaving the way I thought he should. He went from ok to bad to worse over the years & eventually I couldn't cope with him - hence the drinking began. Since I've quit I've learned it's just easier to not hold onto expectations of anyone except ourselves. I expect myself to remain clear headed & sober. Everyone else can behave like idiots if that's what they choose. In reality - it just doesn't matter. I keep my focus on what I can change & that's myself & distance myself (as much as possible) from the rest. You are doing great - stay the course!

CG, I am sorry you decided to drink again. Are you sure you have really figured out why? Is being alone that big of a problem? What do you think you can do to handle a similar situation in the future? Glad you came back to the nest.

Greeting to everyone!

[mylife]

Newbies Nest

timpin;1263467 wrote: Hi All

I don't post on here as much as I used to and occasionally feel a little guilty about it because without this site, I would probably still be back where I was just a few months ago, drunk every night, bloated and overweight along with being depressed and having no future to look forward to. Things have changed a lot and my life is the total opposite. I never crave for a drink and rarely even think about it ! However I am smart enough to know that AL is still there in the background and just looking for that tiny chink in my armour, so I am not cocky or complacent about it. The reason for writing this to you is that as an individual who has gained so much from this site, I really want to put something back. To me, if I could help just one person who is struggling with AL to be able to stop completely, then that would be part of my debt paid back to this community. How I did it and how I am maintaining my sobriety would take far too long to write out here and would confuse this message board, however if there is just one person on here who would like to give my methods a try then I will start another thread and post the details there. Anyone want to give it a go ? Just say so on here and I'll get started.

Yes, please! I know I for one would love to hear about your success.

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Timpin -
I would love to hear it too!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Quiet evening here

Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the nest.
Still chilly & raining here - oh well.

Lav

[needbulls]

Newbies Nest

timpin;1263467 wrote: Hi All

I don't post on here as much as I used to and occasionally feel a little guilty about it because without this site, I would probably still be back where I was just a few months ago, drunk every night, bloated and overweight along with being depressed and having no future to look forward to. Things have changed a lot and my life is the total opposite. I never crave for a drink and rarely even think about it ! However I am smart enough to know that AL is still there in the background and just looking for that tiny chink in my armour, so I am not cocky or complacent about it. The reason for writing this to you is that as an individual who has gained so much from this site, I really want to put something back. To me, if I could help just one person who is struggling with AL to be able to stop completely, then that would be part of my debt paid back to this community. How I did it and how I am maintaining my sobriety would take far too long to write out here and would confuse this message board, however if there is just one person on here who would like to give my methods a try then I will start another thread and post the details there. Anyone want to give it a go ? Just say so on here and I'll get started.

I am interested!!

[Nelz]

Newbies Nest

Unwasted;1263400 wrote: Nesters, I post this from time to time. It's by Mohun.......it helps me understand this whole process much better, especially the time frame and what to expect.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hi. I haven't posted for a while so I thought I would pop in for an update and say thanks to all of the members who helped me be successful.

I haven't had any alcohol for about 15 months. Not a drop. I quit twice before for about 4 months each time using this site and the encouragement of it's members. Both times previously I went back to drinking thinking I could control it. Of course it ends up controlling me in the end.

This third time I have been very successful and thought I would pass along some observations.

There were several milestones along the way I thought were interesting. It took many many months to actually feel "normal". I thought after 30 days AF I would starting to feel "normal" but in hindsight I did not.

I do know (now) with the amount of alcohol I drank I was masking/creating other problems. From months 3-6 AF I suffered through some mild depression as my body adapted to no more alcohol. Whether that be from physical or mental adjustments or both, I am not sure. This was probably the make or break point for me (failed twice before around this time).

From 6 months to a year was where I started to see/feel some real changes of returning to "normal".

Some of the biggest changes include no longer having that feeling of being agitated and aggressive all of the time. I sleep like a rock every night and wake up refreshed. Actually going to bed sober is something I look forward to, a lot. Knowing I will wake up sober is a great feeling.

For the first part of this journey, I remember waking up expecting to feel hungover and then realizing I wasn't. It's a great feeling.

I also managed to finally take control of my poor eating habits. I have lost 70 pounds since quitting drinking. Most people are shocked to see the difference from where I was to where I am.

My family cannot believe how nice and calm I am all of the time now. My stress levels both personally and professionally have dropped dramatically.

I am posting here today in hopes that others starting on this wonderful journey can see that there are people who are successful at this. Maybe others, like me, will take what they need and move on. Which is why I wanted to come back and say thank you to all of those members who stick around and offer help and advice.

Anyway, for those just starting, there is a better life if you can stick with it. I know there can be social pressures or work pressures to drink, but you can be successful in life without drinking.

Good luck to all!

WOW, that should be a sticky somewhere!

[gingersnap]

Newbies Nest

Would love to read your words of wisdom Tim...I actually slept good last night, had a busy day and the best evening with my 16 yr old grandson...took him to a local cullinary collage that every Thurs serves cusine from around the world....tonights theme was Mardi Gras.....oh my, wonderful food, fellowship and a rockin time with grandson....got home exhausted, ready for bed and Day 2 is going to be a success. Did have thoughts of stopping for AL after dropping him off....but I kept thinking....I slept better, I didn't wake up feeling shame and guilt. Don't do this to yourself...don't damage your body any further....somehow I got home and am ready to sleep....love all this support.
I did received my All in One Powder today, it will be in my morning routine tomorrow, going to get some L glut and ginger tomorrow. I do have the My Way Out book and going to read this weekend...

[needbulls]

Newbies Nest

:new: Still getting the hang of this, but certainly relate to the dozens of posts I have read. I too drink too often and too much. My wife called me out on it, and found one of my stashes...for the 5th + time. She is an 'non'-drinker, and AL is cratering our relationship. I would be out the door, if not for my son, whom I can not live without.
I need to control AL. I will read the book, but, how have Topomax worked for others? I am willing to find a Dr. who will work with it, but only if it is not a pipe-dream. The idea of something moderating the cravings...well, that has appeal. Love K-9's tag-line... My will need to be "I love my son more than alcohol!"

[needbulls]

Newbies Nest

Somewhere when reading through this site, there was a link for finding health care providers which would embrace the MWO system. Could someone clue me in on this? Thanks!

[Nursie]

Newbies Nest

Tomorrow I have 40 days!
I said 40 freakin days!
*does Nursie dance*

Today I was sooo tired. All the recent events and worry and heartache have caught up to me and I am just exhausted. I wish I could lie in bed for a week!

I'm learning and growing. I realize not everything is about me, although I still personalize a lot of stuff. Especially at work. I guess it's just something I need to work on.

My detoxing guest has left and gone with her parents.

Unwasted, it is an awful lot of work putting up with drunks like us. Have you met us? Lol. I have done it over and over with my mom, brother, ex husband and so it is easy for me, bit it also kicks up a lot of shit. It reminds me of my childhood, especially the smell. And then it also provides a mirror image of what I am. Maybe I don't drink vodka, maybe I don't start when I wake up, etc, but an alcoholic is an alcoholic.

Just like being pregnant. You're not just a little bit pregnant. You either are or you are not. And if you are, you will progress.

Sprinkling sober dust for all... I'm beat

[clear eyes]

Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters

Been awhile since I posted but today is 45 days for me! K-9 I thought of you when you said you have a hard time getting past day 40. I was a crabby b... this week-end to my husband on day 40. Didn't really want to drink but was mad I couldn't. Anyway made it through it and now things are better. Don't think about as much.

UW thanks for posting that past post. I think many of us think after 30 days our bodies are better but it takes so much more time than that. My therapist talked about that today when I went.

Anyway, welcome to all newbies and again thanks to all for your great posts!

CG- welcome back! It's great that we can come back and be unjudged.

Clear Eyes

[WickedMom]

Newbies Nest

Hello everyone. There were two posts that I really related to today. -- Unwasted speaking about getting angry and ?having an extreme reaction?.

Yelling around like an idiot -- that's what I do. I hate it! It makes me and everyone around me feel bad and it just makes the situation worse. But I can?t seem to stop it. Now I?m wondering if that does come from not having a way to calm myself down anymore?

While I was still drinking, our normal family chaos -- kids messing around, my husband talking to me at the same time as I am trying to listen to something on the radio while cooking dinner didn?t bother me. Coats on the floor, lost homework, running late for everything -- no problem back then. I guess I was either too drunk to notice or too hungover to care. Now it drives me crazy. Noise really bothers me and I fly off the handle at the dumbest things.

So I hope, as was stated in the other post by mohun (via Unwasted), that one day my family will also be impressed by how ?nice and calm I am all the time?. Mohun said that it wasn?t until after 6 months of quitting that real changes of returning to normal happened. That gives me hope! I can hardly believe that today is 151 days AF for me. I?m coming up on 6 months in March and am really looking forward to seeing what that constant calmness feels like!

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

good morning all!!

Timpin, i would also love for you to start another thread!
Unwasted, thanks for posting the letter from mohun. it's always good for me to read what others have learned and see with time.

and i so relate to all of you--Wicked mom!!--with your stories of anger. i have been struggling to find ways to calm myself, to relax. the kids are such a trigger for me to break out a bottle of wine. they start arguing or talking my ear off and i don't feel like i can handle it. the multi tasking is so difficult at the moment-- i feel like i can only handle one thing at a time. i've been trying to take lots and lots of mini breaks.--just disappearing for 3 minutes to catch my breath and refocus--or listening to 1 song on the new little ipod shuffle i got for my bday!! i don't know --

would love to hear suggestions from others-- how you all pull back from the stress --methods used to stay calm. i've read a lot here and have taken on almost all of the suggestions!

hope friday is full of joy-- STAY STRONG!!