Newbies Nest

[Unwasted]

Newbies Nest

Welcome Satz, yes, lots of effort going on here. The support is great, and the thread is active so you can get feedback when you need it. Lots of people here racking up some good chunks of AF time. Woo Hoo!

Good morning nesters, not a lot of time today but sending support and love.:l

[jessie]

Newbies Nest

Hi everyone, Can you believe that I went 36 days AF and then blew it by having a drink which turned into many drinks over a 4 day binge. I counted that I must have had about 70 units. I went through hell today with the anxiety and restlessness and flushes and agitation. Thank heavens I had Atarax in my drawer. So, here I am again - wishing for a brain transplant as the only cure, but then getting more courage again with the success stories here on MWO.
So, here I go again and although I don't like counting ( little superstitious lol ) I am going to count right to number 40 and then just let it happen AF.

[ava]

Newbies Nest

So this is how its feels. Cannot focus on this screen at all. However, if I try to spot down or lie down I seem to feel sicker. I have to keep moving in order to feel semi decent. It also comes in waves. I do worry for my bp though. That's why I/m afraid to go cold turkey. Anyone else experience this?

[Unwasted]

Newbies Nest

Jessie, good for you in getting back on the horse as they say! Truly, I believe when we fall it is ammunition to help us finally get to the quit that stays! Stay close to the nest and post often -- lots of good support here. Let us know your plan, why you think you drank again, what you plan to do differently, etc. Sober really is so worth it!:l

Ava, sorry xpost. I don't know much about detoxing. Are you drinking plenty of water? If you're afraid maybe you should wean yourself off of the alcohol? Sorry I'm not a lot of help on the subject. Do you have a doctor who can help?

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

WOW!
Need to stretch out the nest a bit so there's plenty of room for everyone

ava, why prolong the inevitable? You want to quit, so quit!
I think you mentioned before that your doc gave you some sort of sedation. Take it & don't worry about your B/P, it will come down naturally. Wishing you the best.

Hello to Satz, jessie & CW!
Let's hear your plans? We're here to support you but you have to make a plan

Lola, don't understimate the power of deep breathing, really!
Focusing on your breath is a big part of meditation, it calms me down instantly! Practice taking 3 long, slow deep breaths while clearing your mind - just focus on the breaths. Works like a charm!

[crazyforwine]

Newbies Nest

Lavande,

so here is my plan. Over the past few days I have had 12 drinks, then 11, then 6 yesterday. Am planning on 4 today. Then 2, 1 and AF on Monday. Today i feel kind of wretched with low tolerance for the anxiety! I know it's something that has to be ridden out, I have sure gone through this before!

Lavande, i am embarrassed to share this with you as you and I joined MWO at about the same time. You have 3 years, and well, I don't! This winter has been especially bad with lots of anxiety caused by a number of things having to do with my kids and my job. But I know AL only makes it worse. I have been skating the edge of being un-present with my kids and sliding by with my job.

Sigh. It's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. But here I am, again and I love this thread. In all this time, I have ignored Newbie's Nest because it is so LONG! But I see how lovely it really is, even though I've only read the past ten pages or so.

Looking forward to any and all comments, support and tough love. I can't believe I am in this place of being so addicted.

CW

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Good morning/afternoon/evening to all my friends here in the Nest!

It is finally Friday and I'm so happy about that! Can't wait to spend some time reading and relaxing this weekend...and it's a 3 day weekend!

Jessie-I am sorry to hear that you drank after 36 days, I don't know what it is, but something about the 40 day mark is very difficult for me also. I got through it this time, but I really felt the pull. I'm glad you got back into your quit quickly.

Nursie - A HUGE congratulations on your 40 days!!! Wow you are doing great!!! I'm so proud of you, and I am so happy you're here, you add so much to the Nest...wisdom, humor, encouragment. Yay, I'm just so happy for you!

OMG they are doing some fire alarm testing right now and lights are flashing and alarms are buzzing and I am so annoyed. LOL They warned us it would happen, but I still jumped about 2 feet out of my chair when it started. I had the beginning of a headache before and now it's full blown. I feel like I'm in some phsyco ward. LOL

I almost feel scared to say that I don't really wish for alcohol anymore. Yes, I have a moment here and there where I want to "relax" with a beer, but then I fast forward to the reality of it, and it's not pretty! Now that my nephew also lives with me, I don't want him thinking I sit around and drink every night. He hasn't even noticed that I smoke, and he's been living with me for 2 weeks. I'm still struggling with the damn cigs, but my doctor told me to worry about that later. I see her again in March, and I think we may tackle that problem then.

Well everyone, I hope you all have a great Friday and a great sober weekend. Stay strong and stay close to MWO!

K9

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Wow, this place is hopping! Everyone doing so well with commitments...it really is time to stop the madness and drama. Life is so much more calm and peaceful without AL running the show. We are just puppets to it. I always (oh, the past 10 years or so) hid AL. I felt like I needed a head start on the festivities (even if that was just starting a weekend morning) or needed to have a couple after things finished up. I never drank along with others, I always seemed to need more, even if I was drinking right along with them. I carried extra in my purse in a hairspray bottle! I hid it in my shoes so hubs couldn't find it. I hid my empties in a foot stool here in my office that I loaded with junk so no one would be able to open it. When I got any opportunity, I'd gather them all up and sneak them to my car and head over to a car wash's dumptser to get rid of them. Buying enough to last thru the weekend was becoming a real chore too...it took quite a bit and I'd sometimes go to 2 stores so the clerk wouldn't think I was some alkie or worse, run into a neighbor who would see how many small boxes of wine I had...it was a double life, really, being a slave like that.
I can only say that the times I quit I went 'cold turkey'. Trying to cut down was just giving me a license to go longer before facing the truth. I was taking 3 BP meds at the time...I'm off all of them now. Other than the sheer hell of not having my crutch (AL) I did fine (shakes, sweats, paranoia, but all expected). One drink just leads to another...and that is just the way it is for us.
Things do even out A LOT over time. Things do get under my skin sometimes, but I am able to face them and get thru them. SELDOM does the thought of turning to AL enter...more than not, that thought comes with boredom, celebrations and sheer opportunity, not stress so much.
The longer you go, the better you'll be and that is the nut of this nut's post! Byrdie

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Dang it, I forgot something...don't underestimate the power of cookies to help you get thru the first few days. Reward yourself with good things to eat...keep yourself full...and it will be a little better. Think to yourself, right now I can have anything on Earth I want to eat! Helped me. B

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

What I did not miss by not drinking at my conference

Just thought I would remind myself and share with you some of the perks I got while out of town at a work conference by not drinking

I did not lose anything (keys, phone, paperwork)
I did not have to keep thinking about how to (discreetly) get my next drink at the company dinner
I did not have to look around to see who was drinking more than I was
I slept well and was not hungover in the mornings
I remembered where my room was in the hotel
I saved money and calories by not drinking (but made up for the calories in food!)
I did not gossip about my coworkers
I remembered what I did and said
I did not embarrass myself by drinking too much

Just wanted to make this list for myself for future reference and to share with you all :h

[Unwasted]

Newbies Nest

Way to go Star........sounds like incentive!

[stella123]

Newbies Nest

brilliant star well done I will remeber this post next time I am at a works function xx

[needbulls]

Newbies Nest

Wow byrdlady! I was thinking of what my life has been like with AL, but you just did it for me...except I can't sneak booze in a purse...but I sure have in my briefcase, water bottles, mouthwash bottles. Other difference is my drink of choice is gin, or vodka or anthing else that feeds the need.:thanks:

[Nursie]

Newbies Nest

Afternoon Nest!
K9, thank you so much for the kind words! You rock!

So, speaking of drinking... I overheard someone say they were fasting alcohol for lent.
Interesting how my perspective of that statement changes now that I don't drink anymore.

I am exhausted. And so happy that I have time and energy to focus on my family, friends and job rather than alcohol and it's effects. Drink or not drink. Or be too hungover to participate in things. Or e too drunk to be reliable. It is all behind me and I have a whole life to live.

Oh and I am noticing how many things I NOTICE! Because instead of "bearing" or "tolerating" a day, I am living it. Enjoying the birds and trees and clouds.

Unreal.

Have a great day everyone!

"I'm sober and I know it" (wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle YEAH!)

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

NeedBulls...when I came in here Jan 2010, my drink of choice was also vodka...so I switched over to wine thinking it wouldn't be as bad, but see subsequent year's posts for rest of story (all bad). AL is AL. B