Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Willow...day 3 is monumental! If you did the last 3 days...you can do the next 3! Friday is just another day...surround yourself with things you love...good food, treats, a good movie. Keep yourself distracted, and don't throw or attend a pity party!! Keep it moving...once you get thru this weekend, you will have the world by the tail. This weekend is all about you. You can do this! Keep reading here....you are not alone. So proud of your 3 days! Now just rinse and repeat. XO, Byrdie

[Pinecone]

Newbies Nest

Hi to everyone! I have been very busy with work, but still reading everyday! This place has been moving so fast it is hard to keep up, and that is wonderful.

BlondeAFambition, good to see you again!

Willow23, Great job on getting to day 3!! I hope you don't mind some unsolicited advice. A big part of getting out of deprivation (for me) thinking is to make your own reality. Sometimes this is counterintuitive. If you are tired, you might need to excercise. It doesn't have to be anything crazy, just some movement and stretching. It is truly remarkable how excercise can improve our mood as well as our health. Trust me, it really beats sitting on the couch and thinking "I know what would be really good right now..." Also about weekends: If you have the weekend off, then that is YOUR time. Do some things that you enjoy without drinking. Watch a movie or three, get your favorite kind of take out or make a special dinner that you love, have dessert. Let yourself get truly involved in the activities and you may be surprised. This was one of the big revelations to me, really seizing my life back myself and not just feeling like a victim of my own drinking.

[Willow23]

Newbies Nest

Hi Pinecone and thanks for the advice. Totally with you on the exercise thing, I think that's part of the problem right now. I have two young children and as I said, my daughter has been ill this week so off school. I would normally go to the gym when she is at school and my son is at preschool but I haven't been able to do that this week. Hopefully next week I can get back on track!

I've had a bath and am in pyjamas already lol, did that at 5.30pm this evening. I've also got in a serious load of (AF) drinks and am just drinking loads of fluids. Got B vitamins too.

Ah, food. That's where I really struggle. Not with eating itself, just that cooking is a real trigger for me. I love cooking up healthy meals for my family - unfortunately, I also love to have a few glasses of wine whilst I'm doing it which as the evening goes on, ends up being 2 bottles. It's not every day, but still much more than I should be drinking. I can't really avoid cooking either as I won't feed my children on takeaways and my husband is next to useless in the kitchen! Think this is just something I have to get used to!

[SAUSAGE]

Newbies Nest

Hi everyone
Please may I join you? I'm not really a newbie as I discover the site in 2008 and with everyone's support managed an 8 month AF stretch in 2008/2009. Then I sadly relapsed - lots of excuses, struggling with the kids on my own ( husband works away a lot) stressful house sale / move and ( most importantly I think) I had to go on a gluten free diet for health reasons as I discovered it was making me ill and this was my main downfall because I found the new diet quite restrictive and I started feeling v sorry for myself as I could no longer eat and drink what I wanted - hence the relapse.

Anyway I pulled myself together and I'm ready to give it another go. Day 1 for me - it's tough this time of day and I'm having a ginger beer right now (8.30pm)! I hope it will get easier.

[Today]

Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters, just checking in and catching up.

Congrats on day 3 Willow and Blonde!

I'm struggling to stay AF and reading lots. I did let the drinking get away from me again, and have drank 2x this week giving myself excuses. Back on day 1 today and determined to keep going. Need to distract myself, not leaving house because that may lead to AL or too much chocolate! Don't need or want either of them!

Sausage; I'm at the beginning of my day (1pm and am envious that you've gotten through yours...) I will do my best to stay strong and lets get through this together! (all of us)

[Willow23]

Newbies Nest

Sausage, your life sounds very similar to mine. My husband is home every night - eventually - but he works very long hours so I'm also alone with the kids. I feel like a single parent a lot of the time - alcohol is my emotional crutch and also something to fight off being lonely and bored.

I also can empathise with the change in diet thing - a year ago, I found out I have developed a lactose intolerance so had to make changes to my food and then in September, I ended up in hospital with a gallbladder infection, possibly caused by fatty foods. I'm actually pretty slim but quite often I would grab a bag of crisps instead of a proper dinner as if my husband wasn't here, I couldn't be bothered to make myself a decent meal (although I would for the kids - daft eh?). So I have had to change my diet a fair bit and it is really hard. I think a lot of people think I'm making a fuss about nothing and being a drama queen lol but it is miserable sometimes!

You've done it before though and you can do it again. I'm at the end of Day 3 so I'm right here with you.

[Willow23]

Newbies Nest

Welcome Today! It is hard and at the minute, I am just trying to get through the day. Like I said earlier, time seems to stand still right now and the hours don't go quick enough. I'm keeping in mind though that although this is difficult, it will get better and easier and if I slip, I have to go through this horrid time ALL over again! X

[SAUSAGE]

Newbies Nest

Well I've got through evening no 1 with the aid of a load of ginger beer and crisps. Feel a bit sick and bloated but at least no alcohol!!

[Willow23]

Newbies Nest

Right on Sausage, that's where you want to be!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Willow, sausage & everyone - just hang in there & do whatever yuo have to do to distract yourselves. Keep telling yourselves 'I don't drink anymore'. Sounds simple but if you tell yourself that over & over you will begin to believe that

Today, not sure - what happened to your plan?

Pinecone, hope you are doing well!

Hope everyone has their plans in place for the weekend. Stay busy & most of all stayed grateful for your AF time!
Wishing everyone a safe AF night in the nest.

Lav

[canadian gal]

Newbies Nest

Hiya Suasage! Welcome to the nest! This place is really great. I agree with Lav that in the beginning you have to do anything you can to keep your mind off al. Ginger is actually a really good spice to help curb the al cravings. I drink a few glasses of ginger tea everyday.

Today- welcome back! Yes, what did happen to your plan? Well, you know what to do. Perhaps revise your plan, get back on track and start to string together those al free days.

Willow- Sorry you are having a bad week. But it will get better. And you'll notice that the more al free days you get, the better you will feel. Even 1 week al free will do wonders. So far you are doing great! Keep it up!

Even though I have no kids I feel like a single mother! My husband is useless in the house and also doesn't work. So everything is literally on my shoulders. I used to like to unwind with a few beers at the end of the night....which would turn into 6 or more. I am learning how to deal with my stress. I wish I could meditate but I only get about 30 minutes a day to relax and I usually spend it on here or reading in bed.

Wish I could address all my nesters, but off to work. Hope you all have a great al free Saturday!

[BlondeAFAmbition]

Newbies Nest

Hi Everyone!

Hope we're all having a safe and sober Friday night. Stay strong Willow, you can do it! I am also on Day 3 and am bound and determined to wake up tomorrow with a clear head. I've got to be at work at 7:45 AM tomorrow and if I show up with a hangover, the rest of my day goes badly! Tonight, I worked out at the gym for an hour and a half and I really agree with you all about the exercise thing. I didn't have this the other 3 times I seriously tried to quit and now that I have a fitness club membership, I go six days a week for at least an hour or more per visit. It fills up the hours after work where I would go home and start drinking the moment I got through the door. Tonight I came home famished though, as I didn't eat much for lunch and then had a huge workout. I'll admit, the thought of a glass of wine on an empty stomach was very appealing but I don't want to face a hangover tomorrow so I stuck to diet soda, water and now tea. I'm proud of myself! Looking forward to day 4 and those of you on Day 3 with me, WE CAN DO IT!

Unwasted, I was also inpired by your post earlier about feeling an inner peace and freedom now that you have been AF for quite some time. I think it does take a few months to get there and I am looking forward to getting there myself. Your post only reaffirmed my goals! Thank you!

Hi Today, sounds like you are getting on the right track. Don't beat yourself up about the slips, just get back on the horse quick, it's harder to get back the longer you drink, trust me!

Have a peaceful night!

[Today]

Newbies Nest

Thanks for checking on us Lav, and the reminder to have our plans set.

As for me, I allowed myself (exactly what a few people suggested could happen) decide that since I was back only 1 day AF, or 3 days AF this week that it would be easy enough just to have that one more! I drank on Tuesday and last night, not tons like in the past, but that is not the point. I know I cannot moderate and wasn't trying to.. my plan is very fragile right now. I have other issues; and easily allow myself leeway with one issue when dealing with another. Sigh, not to sound too pitiful but it just feels so overwhelming especially in the face of what I know others are dealing with.

So, I am going one day at a time, I will not drink today. I don't want to drink ever and will remind myself that when AL tries to tell me I don't have much time in and it won't matter. I am proud of my AF time in the past 6 months and want to continue that. Back to the Toolbox for me to cement a plan to stick!

Pinecone and Blonde, you are right about exercise helping; I worked out this morning and felt so much better for it and committed to a healthy day. Even on days now where I can't fit a full work out in I will make sure to at least stretch and get some activity in.

Willow, what is with our clocks moving so slow!? Hope you and everyone else doing well this evening!

[Unwasted]

Newbies Nest

Hey Nesters, just wanted to pop in and recommend a book. For me, the success I'm having with not drinking relates to the fact that I finally have internalized and truly begun to genuinely feel that I'm not missing out on anything by not drinking. I think it's key to feel this way if we are to maintain sobriety. If we always think of alcohol as having an alluring quality, then we'll feel deprived.

This book will help you change your thinking about alcohol. Kick the Drink did that for me, and this one is doing it too. The Title is The Brain Mechanic, written by Spencer Lord. It's Cognitive Behavioral Therapy made simple and it gives you the formula to change your belief system about alcohol.

Of course, staying AF long enough to physically feel the enormous upside to not drinking is critical too. For me all of this has taken three months, and I know that's not very long in the grand scheme of things. But there has definitely been a mental shift that's changed things for me.

Just thought I'd throw it out there if you guys are interested.

Sending you all peace and strength :lilheart:

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

seems weird to me too Jane...and it even did while I was actually doing it...

Great stuff today unwasted!

Blondie, it really sounds like your plan is coming together....pieces of what you've learned in the past - fitting together with new elements that you've discovered...awesome...

Me? I'm feeling more like listening than talking this week...could be that I've been trying to come up with things to keep the kid entertained while school was on break and I'm tired! At any rate, I haven't had an epiphany to report about lately - so I'm sitting back and learning from all of yours. :-)

-lola