Newbies Nest

[LibraryGirl]

Newbies Nest

Having dangerous thoughts this afternoon. I'm sitting here at work thinking, I really didn't have a problem, I just need to not overdo it. I don't need to QUIT FOREVER.

I recognize that many of you have had these thoughts, and I've read about them, but wow do they creep up on you without warning. I think I was reading something on FB where one of my friends said something about drinking that sounded fun.

My friend said, you just need to drink only on the weekends. I said, even if I were able to contain to the weekend, I still drink too much. She said, well it's the weekend, you're entitled! I laughed but I knew it wasn't right. Not right for me, at least

[SAUSAGE]

Newbies Nest

Well I've got through day 4 - safely in bed now having a cup of tea, but I feel really low and tearful tonight- despite another day of success. Why? Presume this is all part of the journey?

Won't be checking in tomorrow til the evening as I've a long day at work on a Tues but I'll "see" you all soon, take care x

[bouchard01]

Newbies Nest

Hello Nesters ... hope all is well and that everyone can remain strong and get through this day. Day 7 for me and my new goal is 14 days ....

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Sausage, your emotions will be bouncing off the walls for a couple good weeks still...but please keep this in mind (if this is your first quit...not sure, need to look back) You will never have 2 bad/teary days in a row. I'd bet my lunch money that tomorrow will be an absolutely wonderful day for you! It's just nuts the way I went from really thinking I had this thing beat to wanting to down a whole box of wine, who the hell cares??!!! It was crazy...but thanks to the folks here, I knew to expect it and to ride it out. Just hold on with all your might....it is sooo worth it. Remember AL is a scorned lover...kicking and screaming. You will not believe how good he is at telling you that you don't really have a problem. This is a trick!!! Just hang with us here in the nest, and you will be able to finally see this opponent for what it is. AL is no friend of ours. Well done to you and the others in the first week. It IS the hardest, but you are doing it!!! I'm so proud of you all!! Byrdie

[MinStar]

Newbies Nest

Hello nesters! Hope everyone is going string. I'm on day 97 today. Had a weekend out with my university friends and managed I stay off AL. Am a little worried as starting to think about drinking at my witching hour :-( is this normal at 97 days AL free? I have a friend fiftieth coming up in a month and I'm worried as to what reason I can give to not drinking. Normally it would be a good excuse to spend the weekend being drunk and silly. I saw my friends get drunk this weekend. One in particular is still drinking quite heavy and I noticed tell tale signs like havin extra
Drinks and shots here and there. He actually has a reputation for falling asleep whilst out and still
Is doing this. I saw all the signs I also do how if I was drinking I would be lookin for the next drink. I would have gone for dinner and wondered how I would get another glass of wine in, how I would get mOre AL in Once dinner was finished. I sure as heck would have been the one instigating more drinking once we were home and the one to say let's have one more for the road. I know all this but still thought about drinking this evening. Like I wanted a nice glass of something as a treat!?!? I am still eating my whole body weight in chocolate so
I'm by no means depriving myself of treats. Just went shopping for clothes as I have save money from not drinking. Just scared it may take over and I will be back to square one. Any tips would be appreciated

Sorry ive not personally responded to posts. Off to back read a few says worth as I've been AWOL.

Stay safe nesters xx

[Mands]

Newbies Nest

:jumpin:Hi all

just checking in.. Day 6 yeah

I'm actually tucked up in bed, everything was too bright and loud to wrestle work, and my mind is trying to obsess about absolutely everything little thing.

I have medicated myself with some choc chip cookies (for me) and aspirin (for the headache).

Sleep was actually OK last night - I drank "sleepytime tea" so perhaps that helped

I am just feeling a deep tiredness like I have wrestled something large.

Anyway quickly coming up on my record of 7 days and once I hit 8 its uncharted territory.:yay:

Oh btw I am really enjoying reading other comments, stories, struggles and words of wisdom.

It is seriously making a huge difference to me right now and I appreciate it so much :thankyou:

(ps apologies for the gratuitous use of smilies today ;P)

[Irie]

Newbies Nest

Hi there! Boy this thread moves fast!

To those of you who replied about my vacation dilemma...thanks. There is no way I can cancel, but I am now much more accountable to this group when we go. I'll make sure I post as we lead up to the trip, and there is wifi in the room, so I have no reason nor to stay connected. I really felt like I needed a head start getting my head in the right place before it was suddenly upon me. I'm going to work on romanticizing other aspects of the trip, like beach walks and dinners, the way I normally tend to romanticize drinking!

[BlondeAFAmbition]

Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters! Just getting settled in tonight after a wirlwind day. Big workout at the gym tonight and I felt like I had more energy. Came home and ate dinner right away and now I'm going to read a bit before bed. Hubby is working late tonight so its just me, the 2 cats and my doggie. Glad to have some quiet time!

Sausage, sorry you are still feeling down in the dumps but this too shall pass. Kudos for not caving in to the wine! :goodjob:

Librarygirl, yes, many of us have had the same thoughts of modding just a few days after we kick the sauce. It's like we think we don't have a problem because we can go 3 days without AL. Do not let this thinking lure you in...I almost did over the last weekend but I stayed strong and tomorrow I can say I have a whole week of sobriety under my belt at 7 days and man do I feel good about that! As for modding, you have heard the stories that most of us cannot do it. Of course it is a personal choice but I think you either have to been done for good or prepare yourself for the highs and VERY lows of the AL rollercoaster but you will never get off it if you continue to drink. That's what brought you here in the first place, right?

Blonde's Input on Jamaica:
Irie, we may have to PM on this one as I can completely see where you are coming from with a trip to the land of wood and water and why you cannot straight out cancel. I knew from your name "Irie" that you were a fellow Jamaican affectionato. My husband and I call ourselves "Jamericans" because we love it there so much and did exchange wedding vows in Saint Ann Parish (North Coast, Runaway Bay...the joke in our family is that I was the "Runaway Bay Bride"...lol). As I type this, Bob Marley's "Songs of Freedom" box set is stocked in my Bose and I listen to it all night. We have been 3 times but are not going this year, we are going on a cruise to Bermuda instead this summer. As you know, it is party central in Jamaica. May I ask, are you staying at an all-inclusive resort or a place where the drinks are al la carte so to speak? Here's my story and I'm sorry I did not get back to you earlier but this is the first time I have checked MWO since my post this morning! Last year, I was coming off a 70 day AF segment of life and I really thought seriously about staying sober in JA. Then as the trip got closer, I could see in my mind me and hubby at the resort with drinks in our hands, relaxing on the beach. Now, could I see myself just drinking ice water (which I did a lot of anyway), sure. But I also saw the pina coladas with extra Appleton floating on top and the Blue Seas drink made with with Caribbean Sea blue curacao. Somewhere between Miami and Cuba, before we landed at the Montego Bay airport, I decided that I would allow myself to drink. The whole 4 hour plane ride from Boston, I went back and forth, back and forth. Do I drink there or not? I have been AF for over 2 months. And yes, I did think I could go for the week and then leave my drinkfest behind in the West Indies at the plan headed north to Boston. But, we bought booze at Sangster on the way back...special stuff you could only get in JA...like Ginger Wine and Pimento Liquor. So, of course, when we got home I had to sample some. All of it. We drank on the plane ride home because I thought...well...this is REALLY it...I have to go back on the bandwagon when we get home. But, sure enough, it took me 2 months to log back on here (trip was at the end of March, I came back to MUA in early June). I was able to nix AL for a few weeks and then tripped up again. Then I came back on my birthday in August because one of the senior members PM'ed me and asked how I was and it came to my personal email in box. I thanked her for that (thanks again RC! :l). I did lurk for a while but I had the rest of the summer to go and then our second vacation in Fall and what's the foggy coast of Maine in October and a fireplaced room at the Inn without a bottle of cabernet warming the belly? You guessed it. Soooo, fast forward to November 2nd, my 3rd time last year to quite. I made it through November and most of December till the holidays got me and then we had Hubby's 40th birthday last month and then oh, Valentine's Day. My new sobriety date is Feb 22nd, yup, just last week. So, did the trip to Jamaica last March screw me up? Bigtime. Did I think I could just drink for the week and then go back to my sober ways? Yup. Did I ? No, not right away. Did I go back to drinking a bottle of wine every day eventually? Yup, till just a week ago. Would I be able to spend a week in Jamaica sober now? Prolly not at the same spot, but I could if we rented a cottage somewhere secluded without the influx of free drinks starting at 10AM I prolly could. I hope this helps you out Irie. I guess it depends on your willpower. I can tell you that I drank a lot less in JA last year because of MWO...I drank more ice water than I did wine. And I rarely had any of the hardcore drinks, actually, none at all. I had maybe a sip of hubs pina colada once or twice during the entire week. So, my AF time beforehand definitely helped me drink less while on vacation, but for me, I wasn't able to stay AF down there. You are right to rack up as much AF time as you can right now because that will only make you strong. There was just too much temptation at the resort for me. I'm going to PM you more on this as I feel I have been right in your same exact flipflops and I know this is turning out to be a novel right now...sorry everyone!

For everyone else, please don't give in tonight for tomorrow morning shall be a bright and sober one for all! Good night! Day 7, here I come!

[LibraryGirl]

Newbies Nest

Thank you for your response Blonde. I do know that I cannot moderate, at least not long term. AL is too seductive for me. I cannot have one glass of wine or one drink a day and be fine with it, as the FDA suggests, lol. Are they talking about weekends too?! LMAO

So, I'm still AF since Thurs. of last week, so I count this as my 5th day. I am still tired and headachey, and not getting the rest I need, but I continue to hope for better days.

[Irie]

Newbies Nest

Blonde, thank you so much for your post! We are "Jamericans", too, and also got married there. That was 15 years ago, and we have been back every year since! I absolutely love it, and it's not because of the drinking. As you know, it's the people and those gorgeous beaches. We have stayed in an all-inclusive but the last many years have been in a small resort we love where everything is much easier to control.

I'm kind of excited to go with a whole different frame of mind. I like knowing there is another Jamaica lover on these boards. Thanks for the reply.

[Pinecone]

Newbies Nest

Hello everybody! I just want to check in and say hi to everyone.

Mands, it sounds like you are doing well by taking care of yourself. Just continue to relax, eat well, stay hydrated, get lots of sleep and maybe do some light excercise, like walking or stretching (more if you are accustomed to it). My body took a little bit to kind of "reset" itself, but it has never felt better in my adult life. I agree with you about the support in this place. I found the support I needed to quit by coming on here, and I am so glad that I did. Just plow right on through day 8 and keep going! You will never, ever be sorry that you quit drinking.

LibraryGirl, what you posted about that voice reminds me of the stuff I had to learn in order to quit. I thought that the voice was the voice of "Reason" and the scared little part of me that wanted to quit was being "hysterical." I had to learn how to identify that voice as the deceiver. It sounds like you are on the right track! Just say "NO, HELL NO!"

[BlondeAFAmbition]

Newbies Nest

PS, Irie..."every little thing's gonna be alright"

-Bob Marley

[Nursie]

Newbies Nest

Irie and Blonde, I love Jamaica too!
Just a quick check in for me on day 50.
My mind is ever so much clearer. I'm able to focus and follow through so much better than in the early days. I am finally calmer. I can finish a thought and not be jumping all over.
I'm not riddled with anxiety.

I tapered off of the Topomax and I feel like a new person.
And the AF time that I have is clearing my mind, my emotional weight and guilt, and allowing me to live as me and not the drunk girl. I am me.

Sprinkling sober dust for all in the nest tonight.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters!

So many posts today......

Would like to say CONGRATS on your 50 AF days Nursie
Love the clear thinking talk too.

Hang in there nesters, hard or not this journey is one you want to stay on
Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[bouchard01]

Newbies Nest

Oh wow ... Me too we leave for a week in Negril on March 9th! Family vacation that has been planned for a year. I too love Jamaica!