Newbies Nest

[canadian gal]

Newbies Nest

Hiya Nesters!

Holy...I don't check the site for a day and I have 5 pages of reading to do! So many things flying around, where to begin?

To all of those in the first week or so, life isn't always like this. It really does get easier and better. Think of how many months or years you spent drinking. You think you will magically feel better being al free 7 days? It will take much longer to undo the damage that we have done. Rome wasn't built in a day. Slowly but surely you will feel much better, look much better, not be cranky, sleep wonderfully, become healthier, lose weight, the cravings will lessen, etc, etc. I'd say that after about 30 days you will notice a HUGE difference in your life. You will be on your own kind of sober high that you can't get with al. If the family isn't supportive in the beginning, forget about it. Never lose aim of your ultimate goal. Every time I have tried to quit, I would pour myself into work, cooking and cleaning so I never spent much time with my husband...might sound horrible, but I needed to focus on me. He understood it and let me have my time. That would last 1-2 weeks then everything went back to normal. So be patient and give it time. Every day you will get stronger and feel better. This I can promise you.

Irie- As far as your trip goes...you still have a lot of time before you leave. About 45 days or so....that will give you 2+ months al free. After all that al free time, you may feel very indifferent about drinking.

Nurise and Jane- Congrats on 50!!!! Woo hoo!!

As for me, I am on day 13. Last night went out to dinner with a friend. We had to go to McDonalds because I couldn't meet her until 10 and it is open 24 hours. She asked me "Are you still drinking?" I said "No". She said "You stopped or...?" I said. "I don't have time to drink. The last time I drank was when Irina (one of our friends) came to Beijing." She said "So maybe one night we can go out drinking." I said "Ya, maybe." I don't have any intentions of drinking with her even if we do go out. She is a mother of 2, her youngest just 6 months. She never drinks and I understand that she is stressed and just looking for a night of fun. She is a very good friend and what I don't understand is why I couldn't bring myself to say "Yes, I have quit for good." What's up with that? Why didn't I just tell her? She wouldn't have even made any kind of comment about it, so why did I feel the need to not tell her the truth?

Last night I got home at 12:30, washed my face, brushed my teeth and went to bed around 1ish. Had to be up at 7 today so I am quite tired. Hubby is coming back today and bringing his cute little cousin...well not so little, he is in his early 20's. Little Soldier (cousin's name) doesn't like drinking so I know I am safe even if we go out for dinners. I can't wait until today is over so that I can crawl into bed and sleep.

I hope you all have a great Tuesday!

[Willow23]

Newbies Nest

Morning guys!

Wow, day 7 for me! Fates have conspired and ruined my plan for today - DH has to go out for a work meeting so no gym for me and DS has an upset tummy, so no swimming. But I AM going shoe shopping, dammit!

Sausage and Belle - yeah, we do have very similar lives huh? We should definitely stick together.

MinStar - wow, you've done so great! I remember you from months ago - you've done so well on 97 days!

Likewise Nursie and Jane - 50 is fantastic! I can't imagine it lol but I guess I don't have to ... one day at a time right!

Hope everyone else is feeling ok today - I felt quite dizzy/dehydrated this morning when I woke up so I guess (hope) this might be the final stages of the detox. Still didn't sleep great but heigh ho, I guess that will come later.

Have a good day everyone, be back later x

[Irie]

Newbies Nest

jane27;1270155 wrote: Irie, I think it's GREAT that you are keeping Jamaica on the stove, in plain sight for you and us in the nest to keep an eye on. Vegas was touch and go, and towards the end I was running on Nest fuel. It's not easy to bring up a topic that guarantees a chorus of chirping, and twigs snapping...but you won't believe how much it's fortifying you until you're there. Xo

Thanks, Jane! I think you're right! I remember your trip to Vegas. Now there's a difficult destination!

[Irie]

Newbies Nest

bouchard01;1270171 wrote: Oh wow ... Me too we leave for a week in Negril on March 9th! Family vacation that has been planned for a year. I too love Jamaica!

Negril is where we go, too.

[Nursie]

Newbies Nest

Irie;1270415 wrote: Negril is where we go, too.

Us too. My son still says "yeah man" a year later lol

Good morning all!
Jane, I was up to 300mg a day in two doses. I was such a bitch. I dropped down and down and then took 50 and 50 for the longest. Then I dropped to one 50 for a week and stopped.

I may try something else if need be but that shit was no joke.

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Good morning. Hey Minstar. YES! Don’t be surprised that you still have some sneaky thoughts creep up on you. Even at 97 days (well, 98 today, right?!) In my opinion, it’s probably quite normal at this stage of the game to start, again - thinking that you’ve got it licked….. so you let your guard down.

Maybe you can try spending a bit more time here….reading and posting….go back and read your old posts. Find someone that inspires you and read their old posts…..read that post by Mohun that Unwasted reposted several pages back. It describes that even at 6 months AF he/she was still experiencing changes….Maybe there should be a routine suggestion at 100 days to review our plan and revisit the reasons that we decided to go AF in the first place? Spend a little time figuring out how our lives have changed in the past 100 days….and spend just a little bit of time trying to place ourselves back to 101 days ago, to remember the hell that we emerged from….

Life really does get so good that it’s easy to take it all for granted – but without too much effort, you can find many many many posts here from people who have been right where you are….or even further along on the sobriety path – who relaxed their attitudes too much and ended up swirling around drinking again for a long time – unable to pull themselves out. You don’t have that time to waste…because you’ll never ever get back these days of your little one. I don’t remember her exact age but I do know that her mommy’s presence is so very important.

Blondie, your post to Irie was awesome – isn’t it amazing how things work out? You came back at the perfect time to help Irie work through this! Your experience should be invaluable to her.

Congratulations to the 50 day-ers~ and also those who just made it through their first of many weekends!

CG – it’s crazy isn’t it? I did something similar a month or so ago….I got up the courage to tell a friend that I quit drinking….and her response was “you mean,, cut down, right? Not like – quit – forever…right?” and I wormed my way out of it…..never came out and said “No, I mean quit. I quit forever.” It feels sometimes that people won’t ask you to do things anymore if you tell them you don’t drink. I know some of my family members have no idea at all how to interact with me now.

Most of the time when someone mentions – “we should get together and share a bottle of wine”….or “let’s get together for a drink!” it never actually happens, so I’m just not gonna make a big deal out of saying “let’s get together for something else”….in the mean time, I’m getting stronger and stronger and when I find myself in a situation and offered a drink – I don't have a problem just saying No, thank you.

[BlondeAFAmbition]

Newbies Nest

Nursie, congrats on 50 days and thanks for the words of reflection on your sober time. Definitely inspiring to all of us in our early days. Day 7 for me too Willow!

Morning nestlings! Seems we have lots of Jamaica fans on this board! I have not yet been to Negril but I so want to see that 7 mile stretch of famous beach. Will get there someday, I know it!

Canadian Gal is right...you have lots of AF time before the trip Irie to clear your head and you already are almost at your 30 day goal. You may feel differently at that time. PS, I PM'd you last night more on the JA topic and not sure if you got it but hopefully so!

Well, gotta dash to work. Last day of work before my "weekend" that is Wed/Thur off. Phew! Have a busy day ahead and another gym session afterwards. It's bright and sunny outside and so is my outlook!

Have a great day all!

[BlondeAFAmbition]

Newbies Nest

PS, cross post Lolab and thank you!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters!

Grateful for another sunny 50 degree day today - will go out & enjoy it!

Wishing everyone a fantastic AF Tuesday!
Lav

[Hypernova]

Newbies Nest

lolab;1270485 wrote: Good morning. Hey Minstar. YES! Don?t be surprised that you still have some sneaky thoughts creep up on you. Even at 97 days (well, 98 today, right?!) In my opinion, it?s probably quite normal at this stage of the game to start, again - thinking that you?ve got it licked?.. so you let your guard down.

Maybe you can try spending a bit more time here?.reading and posting?.go back and read your old posts. Find someone that inspires you and read their old posts?..read that post by Mohun that Unwasted reposted several pages back. It describes that even at 6 months AF he/she was still experiencing changes?.Maybe there should be a routine suggestion at 100 days to review our plan and revisit the reasons that we decided to go AF in the first place? Spend a little time figuring out how our lives have changed in the past 100 days?.and spend just a little bit of time trying to place ourselves back to 101 days ago, to remember the hell that we emerged from?.

Life really does get so good that it?s easy to take it all for granted ? but without too much effort, you can find many many many posts here from people who have been right where you are?.or even further along on the sobriety path ? who relaxed their attitudes too much and ended up swirling around drinking again for a long time ? unable to pull themselves out. You don?t have that time to waste?because you?ll never ever get back these days of your little one. I don?t remember her exact age but I do know that her mommy?s presence is so very important.

lolab
Thanks for the insightful post I am sure it will help me to strengthen my plan (?) question mark b/c I think the plan needs to be revisited and adjusted. Tomorrow will mark the first two months of the year being AF. Not feeling that great but am seeing changes and am looking forward to a healthy spring and rest of the year. I know for me that beginning my exercise plan in earnest will lift my spirits. ~~ I do have those thoughts of oh a beer looks so good which would lead to Tequila and more beer and wine w/dinner and that spiral back down to where I definitely don't want to be. Maybe one day I will be like some here and just say I don't drink anymore. ~~Again thanks for the post ~~ I will use it to continue on this AF journey. I visit here often but don't find myself posting that much. Always feel like I am joining in w/o knowing enough about what is going on and am not comfortable at times just stepping in and letting loose. I will work on posting more as I am sure it will help me and possibly like your post someone else.
Good health and happiness to all!!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Canadian Girl...why didn't you want to tell your friend that you don't drink? That's because you were listening to your valuable inner gut. This is nobody's business but yours. The very wise Ben Franklin said it best, 'Two people can keep a sercret, if one of them is dead.' Mind you this is just my own opinion. But there is still a huge stigma out there for ALKs. I was actually out to lunch with an old schoolmate of mine...we were talking about FaceBook and our mutual friends who posted there. A guy's name came up and my friend said...'but you know he's an alcoholic, right?' As if everything the poster said was now deemed irrelevant!!! As if his voice shouldn't be heard!! That hurt. So the way I see it, it's kind of like religion...I have my strong beliefs, and I hold them close to the vest. That, too, is no one else's business. I don't want to be treated any differently than anyone else, so it is my choice to keep it to myself. I have heard others talk about ALK's...in some ways they are cast off like leppers (sp?). Who needs that? Hells bells, I got other quirks that do that for me!! My opinion is that you do not owe anyone an explanation of why you don't drink. Stand tall and don't give it a second thought!! Byrdie

[Willow23]

Newbies Nest

Totally right Byrdie. I was just thinking the other day, if someone quits smoking, everyone is on board and supportive and its ok to have it all out in the 'open'. You don't even have to see the doctor to get help, you can get medications over the counter to see you through.

But alcohol .... Different kettle of fish! If someone says they don't drink, or even don't drink any more, it opens up all sorts of questions. Because alcohol is so normal and most people drink, if you don't that's considered 'weird'. Or you must have stopped because you had a problem (ok, we here do but you get my point!) I have no doubt that if I told everyone in real life I was quitting because I had a problem with it, I wonder how many people would be genuinely supportive? Or how many would seem to be, but actually be gossiping behind my back? Doesn't seem fair really!

[Willow23]

Newbies Nest

OMG you guys, I am so mad right now! My husband's just come home and I was just getting dinner out. He asked what the matter was and said I seemed really stressed. I told him of course I'm stressed, I'm halfway through my witching hour. He said I seem stressed every day at this time at the minute and I said yes, I'd usually be calm and happy cos I'd be drinking, but I'm not doing that anymore. He laughed and said, "Yeah, drinking every day usually" which is ABSOLUTELY NOT TRUE! I DON'T drink every day, it's every 2-3 days. I said that to him and he sniggered and again muttered, "Yeah, every day". I told I'm that I'm not eating with them if he's going to be like that and came away upstairs. Bloody jackass, so fucking unsupportive over something that HE wants me to do!

I could seriously go to the store right now and buy some wine but he'd love that, just to say I couldn't do it. Thank God for my bloody stubborn streak and wanting to prove him wrong! Speaking of the store, I went in earlier on my way home from school cos the kids wanted some sweeties - it was really hard but I didn't buy wine!

Going in the bath now so that's it - day 7 done. No thanks to my twat of a husband either.

[Willow23]

Newbies Nest

Apologies about my language in that last post by the way - I'm just so angry!

[bouchard01]

Newbies Nest

Vent away!! Wish he could be more supportive but in the end you are doing this for you with or without his help. You go girl!!