Newbies Nest

[DSLR]

Newbies Nest

I'am back!

Hi Nesters,

This is hard to write because I have clearly failed to moderate and undid all the good work I had achieved by doing the 30 days alcohol free.

So K9Lover you are so right, I am drinking more than before, but the only good thing is am not going out and making a complete a**e of myself, just drinking at home, nearly every night now, but what a mess up!

I have so much to be grateful for but all I do is think of negative things, I hate myself and what I have done to myself. I lost 2 stone last year when i gave up, but guess what the weight is returning as well and that is making me even sadder, no surprise I guess.

So I need help and I know this is where I will find it with the people who are always there for others. It is going to be even harder this time as I now know I am failure and am so much weaker than I thought I was.

Probably won't post too much as I am not in a position to help others when I can't even help myself, but I do wish everyone else on their journey the best of luck and thank everyone in advance for their support.

:blush::blush::blush:

[SAUSAGE]

Newbies Nest

I'm really struggling right now, feel really low and emotional again, and desperate for a glass of wine. I'm on day 11 - why is this so hard? Physical withdrawal must be over now.

[DSLR]

Newbies Nest

Sausage, hang on in there, 11 days is brilliant. So are stronger than letting this urge get to you, surf the wave of emotion and remember why not having the glass of wine is the RIGHT thing to do and how amazing you will feel tomorrow that you didn't.

Thinking of you Sausage, you're not alone!

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Hiya! Hey Daisy - and Piper - missed you both. I'm glad you're back...

Sausage - I betcha Byrdie will be along to give you a pep talk - but til she does - just remember that those first couple of weeks, your emotions are all over the place! Find someone here and go back and read their story...check out DSLR's story since she's right here....check out Byrdie's story - my story....read our old posts and see that we struggled too - but also see that if someone buckled to the pressure - how hard it was to get back on track. Go back and read Sausage's story...remind yourself why you're doing this and the kind of hell you came from....

Listen to K9's words..."Please don't be lulled into thinking that "this time" will be different if we go back to drinking. It won't. In fact it will probably be worse!"...You know from experience...:l

DSLR - you ARE helping! Your honesty might just be at the exact time that sausage needed to hear that taking that drink is NOT the answer. Don't be scarce - I really believe that right here in the trenches comes the best advice ever. :h

[shueaddict]

Newbies Nest

Sausage, it's so not worth it, giving in, not even an inch. Take it from me, I am on cold turkey attempt #5. I had to go through "detox " all over again. It IS hard ( on your mind), if it was easy then we'd all have been cured by now.

Surf the urge, it will pass, just like all the other evenings. Get something strong tasting for your oral fixation. A drink with fizz or a big lime punch, something to trick your taste buds into believing thay are getting a kick.

PM me, I am around if you want, I really want to hear you tomorrow morning saying that you weathered it once more and went swimming.

[SAUSAGE]

Newbies Nest

Hanging in there, thanks for all the support everyone. It's SO hard. Having a ginger beer right now. Am working tomorrow and Wed so I need a clear head ( so wont be able to swim) . Have posted on the need help ASAP thread also. It's tough, but I'm hanging in there. I presume these really really sad stages are normal for this stage? I have no idea what I am so sad about

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

K9, good luck with your nephew!
Talking to kids about 'grownup' stuff is not especially easy but something that must be done. It will give you good practice for when your daughter is older

Sausage, I have to ask -
WHY do you think a glass of wine will help you? What good is a glass of wine, what good is a whole bottle? Whatever it is that's stressing you needs to be dealt with directly & not by drowning it with wine. It didn't work for you in the past, right? It's time to try something new
Have you tried meditation - I've posted many links. Have you considered speaking to your doc about your low moods or at least trying an OTC with St John's Wort? I take it & it really helps.

DSLR, welcome back!
Let us know what your plan is

Greetings lola, shue & everyone!

[DSLR]

Newbies Nest

Well done sausage, keep going as they say in the advert 'you're worth it'! I got quite sad about 10 days into it last time, so perhaps it is the brain healing iitself or something. But it didn't last very long so it is definitely worth sticking to your guns and with the ginger beer!

Thanks for the support lolab much appreciated.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Almost forgot to mention -

:bday7: finallydone

[SAUSAGE]

Newbies Nest

Lav
I don't know what I'm sad about?!? Will investigate the st johns wort and the meditation. Dont know much about meditation - this is certainly something I want to explore more. Did have post natal depression but not normally sad - except over how my life was going with drinking !!!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Sausage...your emotions are going to be all over the place for these 2 weeks for sure, and the next 2, too, but not as bad. Just get yourself to Day 13....just do whatever you have to do...and you will seee a huge difference. It happened in me, and dozens and dozens of nesters right here. Something good happens in your head that makes you realize this IS something you can do. You just can't go backwards now, MOST of the hard work is done, just distract yourself, go get a piece of wonderful cake or a cookie or anything that is a reward. Eat something and the craving WILL pass. You can do this...you must do it. Going back is not an option....don't let that dam AL voice get back in! Remember he will tell you ANYTHING to get back in your life. Cut it off at the head, and say NO, HELL NO! You will NOT ruin my life any more!!! You can do it!!! Byrdie

[DogWoodBlossom]

Newbies Nest

What Byrdlady is saying is true Sausage. Do whatever you have to do to stay sober. Cut off the voices. Make yourself remember what tying one on is really like. THINK IT ALL THE WAY THROUGH TO THE END!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1053054 wrote: Day 13. Yesterday was EASY!!!! I'm so happy to report, that hubs was out of town and I had the perfect opportunity to have myself a high old time....but I didn't! The voices weren't as loud or as often, so day 13 was the day that I think I turned the corner. I feel good! I certainly haven't lost any weight...I am rewarding myself by saying, look, you can have anything in the world you want, except AL...now I need to reel myself in a bit and stop eating everything in sight. Finally finished off the last of the Christmas cookies I had in the freezer. For the first time in years, I feel like I'm getting control of my life, and it feels really good! ODAT! I could NOT have done it without this site.

This was my Day 13....Back in Feb 2011....hope it helps...B

[SAUSAGE]

Newbies Nest

Am still hanging in there - all your encouragement really helps. Not out of the woods this eve yet but think am feeling slightly better.

[FlyAway]

Newbies Nest

Sausage I just posted to you in the ASAP section. In a nutshell, I was reading a book about the brain. Specifically the amygdala and how it is altered by alcohol. The interesting thing is that the amygdala is also a key structure in your brain's emotional center too. That may explain why your emotions are all over the map. You've got to retrain your amygdala that alcohol no longer runs the show. From what little I've read so far the majority of retraining the amygdala appears to be meditation and positive affirmations! Just what everyone on MWO seems to preach!