Newbies Nest

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

DogWoodBlossom;1275475 wrote: Think past that first drink to the black out, to wondering if you drunk called, texted or Facebooked anyone. What did you say, what did you do? Then the crappy morning and day after. THINK IT THROUGH!

Perfectly said. No "buzz" is worth all that, now is it?

[hope10]

Newbies Nest

Flyaway, thank you for the positive thoughts and vibes!

K9, my cravings feel similar to "pocket's" cravings. Thinking about how it feels after that first drink hits. I start thinking about how it will be fun and this is the best night to do it b/c I won't be able to drink the other nights b/c of responsibilities. K9, I have got to search some past posts about your experience on antabuse. I am seriously thinking about taking it. I am currently on topamax and have been for about three years, but that stuff never helped me.

Luckily, I MADE IT THROUGH! Day seven is complete and I did not go to that stupid liquor store although I came really close.

Dogwoodblossom...you are so right on the money about thinking past that first drink. who did I drunk facebook? That is one of the worst things I do where I post some crazy thing or comments or photo that i should have never posted and then in the morning I have to immediately get up to 1. see what damage I did. 2. remove the post 3. feel embarrassed the rest of the day.
Also thinking past that first drink to the blackout or the fight I had with my husband or the way I feel like such crap in the morning and have to start all over on my AF days.

I did just that tonight, thinking about how it would feel to actually pour a drink, start drinking, get a little buzz, and then all of sudden, be in the middle of drinking and not really be getting buzzed anymore. At that point I just kind of drink to the point of a blackout/pass out. What is the fun or reason for that. Instead, I can just stay sober and wait until that damn liquor store closes. Fortunately for me (if this is a positive,) I do not drink wine or beer, only one type of liquor. So once the store closes, that's it. Night is over.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters!

jane, don't know exactly what happened but I'm sorry - I'm sure that hurt. Glad you are back in the nest with us

Honestly, I just want to tell everyone if you are on day 1 or day 100 & struggling.....
just struggle ~ it won't kill you & in the end you will be so grateful you did
I had a fabulous day with my daughter & grandaughter that never would have happened if I was still drinking AL. Just keep telling yourselves the truth - AL robs you of everything precious, your health & happiness!

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!
Lav

[canadian gal]

Newbies Nest

Good afternoon Nesters!

Day 21 for me. I have a bit of a headache today because I think I slept too much (8.5 hours). But I'll still take this small headache over a hangover any day!

Little Soldier is still staying with us and he (although he doesn't know it) is helping me a lot. Because I am his "older sister", I would feel so ashamed if he saw me sneaking drinks or drunk. Being able to clean, cook, cut up fruit, etc, for him and my husband is actually really nice.

Jane- I am sorry about your slip. You did know it was a huge trigger and when dad gave you his puppy dog eyes, I think it was just too tempting for you. But, I am so glad that you came here the next day. You could have said "forget the nesters" and kept drinking for days on end, but didn't. For that I really respect you. Learn from it and grow from it. And don't see dad for awhile??

For those of you in the first couple of weeks, be patient. You will start to see some really positive changes. Unfortunately, you have to detox first and this is what you look like when doing just that. It gets worse before it gets better. However, it DOES get better.

Hope- Really glad you didn't drink last night. And good for you for thinking it through. It really does help, doesn't it?

I don't really get cravings for al (which is strange as I am addicted), so I don't really have any advice for those with cravings. I guess just stuff your face with fruit, raw veggies, nuts, candy or whatever you need to. I was eating chocolate everyday but have now switched to sunflower seeds in hopes that my skin will break out less. Do anything you can to take your mind off al. Read a book, exercise, clean, bake, play a game, go for a walk, play with the kids and/or pets, etc. These cravings will become less and less the more days you get under your belt. Fight them off with all your might!

To all my other nesters, you know who you are, I hope you have a great al free day!

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

Lavande;1275527 wrote: Good evening Nesters!

Honestly, I just want to tell everyone if you are on day 1 or day 100 & struggling.....
just struggle ~ it won't kill you & in the end you will be so grateful you did
I had a fabulous day with my daughter & grandaughter that never would have happened if I was still drinking AL. Just keep telling yourselves the truth - AL robs you of everything precious, your health & happiness!
Lav

Lav, what you have to say here really hits the nail on the head. Straight to the point - it we want sobriety desperately enough, we will push through. Really made me think - Thanks!!!

[Nursie]

Newbies Nest

Here I am not able to sleep. I woke up at 4 am and can't get back to sleep because of something somebody said to me about my drinking. That person is a member of our family (his family lol) and she hurt me. And made me MAD. It made me want to drink to forget about her. So sadist we are when it comes to drinking and consequences sometimes.

She said "when you drink, medications don't work"

I would like to document what I would have LIKED to say to her but refrained: "Bitch I havent drank in 2 months. I am not sick because I drank alcohol, alcohol is not why I'm on antibiotics. I am on antibiotics for a totally unrelated infection. And PS I'm a nurse, and I know exactly what I can and cannot do. If common sense trumped alcoholism, it wouldn't be an issue for anyone. How about you read a fucking book about it instead of judging me. Do you think i was having a good time hating myself every day? Let's pick something else for you to bitch about. Like how it's all my fault my kid has allergies. Or the doctor is wrong. ANYTHING medical is for MY area and all your weird opinions are pissing me off."

[Nursie]

Newbies Nest

And Jane, my buddy. Don't let this wreck you.
Every time I fall is with my family. It's a dynamic that's hard to describe, but my alcoholic brother reminds me of what I am and who am I kidding being sober, and we are "bonding", and discussing how much we hated growing up with alcoholic parents.

It's a dynamic that I struggle with all the time.

[allswell]

Newbies Nest

Let the comment bounce off of you Nursie, some (a lot?) people open their mouths even when they don't know what they're talking about. Thanks Lav for reinforcing a succinct message, it's not easy and sometimes a little messy, but real change requires work.

[piper123]

Newbies Nest

I am still here. With a horrible headache. I have yet to put day one behind me. I'm going to try again tonight. I pray I make it. I'm going to write down what Lav wrote about the struggle and how that is all it is. Just a struggle that I have to get through. And also that I love my children more than alcohol. That phrase sticks in my head more than anything.

[DogWoodBlossom]

Newbies Nest

Piper, I hope you made it throuh the night. I made it one more night but last night I was more pissed than pleased. When I read Lavande's post, "just struggle, it won't kill you!", I laughed right out loud! You're absolutely right Lav. That sure brought perspective to the struggle. Lots of people died last night because of alcohol, but those of us who "just struggled" are still here this morning. Thanks for that little jewel. It will make me smile today everytime I think of it. Day 5.

Wishing a AF day for all you Nesters!

[swaggie]

Newbies Nest

Hi Newbies

I havent posted for a while as I've been very busy but I've had great success using the sinclair method and naltrexone.

I have been writing in a diary and i'm about 2 months in and my wife, who is fully aware of the program, reckons I've halved my drinking and dramatically reduced my harmful drinking episodes.

Now if anyone is Australian based then my post elsewhere on the site about my criminal activities in importing naltrexone into Australia may be of interest - Looks like i'm heading for the slammer.

I'm pretty chuffed about my progress and I'm enjoying drinking a little less and learning how to stop drinking. Its pretty helpful as I'm licencee of a couple of restaurants and I'm working on getting development approval for a 100 acre vineyard and winery just outside Melbourne. I think it should be a perfect place to educate people about the success I've found in using the Sinclair Method

Take Care

Swaggie

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

I have a few pages of quotes from people here - that for one reason or another "hit home" with me. I saved them all into one document and read through it from time to time...Byrdie's rabbit hole referral is there...Here is another from Guitarista. I don't stray far from the nest too often, but sometimes a thread will catch my interest and some words of wisdom will stay with me...:-) This seemed to go hand in hand with Lav's so wonderfully obvious advice...

time does not stand still waiting for you to get your act together. Where would you be today if you had started 12 months ago???? Where will you be in 12 months if you don’t make that big decision and start whatever it is you wish to accomplish TODAY! Start that course, next year you could be qualified. Dig that garden, next year you will be able to relax in it or enjoy your own yummy fresh veggies. Look for that job/promotion, next year you may be happier and more fulfilled in your career. BUT if you don’t make the decision to start RIGHT NOW, in 12 months you will come home from a crappy job to a crappy garden with only crappy supermarket veggies in the fridge looking at your alcohol ravaged, red, bloated unfit self wishing if only I had started last year.

[BlondeAFAmbition]

Newbies Nest

Great post Lolab! I do not want to be looking back a year from now in regret. Life is indeed too short. Today, at 2 weeks sober, I am in the best shape physically AND mentally that I have been in a long time and it's only gonna get better.

Funny, when I work out on a cardio machine at the gym...whether it be the stair master, the bike or treadmill, when I am done with the program I punch in at the start of the workout, when I am finished, it flashes in red letters across the keypad: GOAL ATTAINED! Well, I finished a 2 week sober stint as of yesterday so I get to mark it on my auto signature and say to myself: GOAL ATTAINED! To those of you also reaching your goals, doesn't it feel wonderful?! Keep up the great work everyone. Every day of sobriety only makes us stronger and more clear headed!

Onwards to my next goal...21 days!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters & Happy Humpday

DogWood & others, glad my message hit home with you!
I really think it's the fear of succeeding that holds a lot of us back. How are we going to live without AL? What are we going to do when we want to relax or handle a stressful situation without AL?
That's all part of the journey friends - finding new & better ways to handle & condust our lives

Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Wednesday!

Lav

[Pinecone]

Newbies Nest

Lavande;1275527 wrote: Good evening Nesters!

Honestly, I just want to tell everyone if you are on day 1 or day 100 & struggling.....
just struggle ~ it won't kill you & in the end you will be so grateful you did

This is why I read the Nest everyday, even if I don't post. Just struggle is about some of the best advice I've ever read on here. I believe that I can always win as long as I put up a struggle.

I also appreciated the garden analogy that Lolab posted (thank you!). I think that is a great way to think about our lives moving forward. I have been working on planting my vegetables, not just pulling the weeds out. If all we did was pulling out the weeds, and waiting for the weeds to sprout up, we'd go crazy eventually. I'm tending my relationships that I neglected, my own inner life, my health etc, the things that will bear fruit.

So I'm adding "Just struggle" to my list. Next to "NO, HELL NO!" I'm still very grateful to have this site to come to everyday for things like this. Even if I don't post everyday like I did in the beginning, I guess I am using this site a little differently now.:thanks: