Newbies Nest

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Hi Nesties!

Wow, there's a variety of topics going on today! Nursie, sorry you are facing some ignorant people, it seems the more ignorant they are, the faster they are to judge. Try to let it go (although I know it's not easy). Byrdie, I hate that you're still questioned as to whether you're drinking or not...I guess the "labels" last for years. Frustrating! We need to learn to let things slide...easier said than done, I know.

Antabuse: I have been on (and off) of it for about 2 years so if anybody has any questions I'm happy to help. I truly believe it has saved (and is still saving) me. Some may view it as a "crutch", but I am all for using any tool available. It takes away the inner angst, I simply can't drink. It has gotten me off the mental roller-coaster, and for that I am thankful everyday. But it's not a magic pill, it still takes work and a committment.

For those of you struggling, please remember Lav's wise words that cravings never killed anybody (or along those lines!). The desire to drink can only win if we give in to our thoughts. We can learn to change our thoughts, and we certainly don't have to act on them. A quote from a book always stands out for me "You never have to drink again, even if you want to". When I fast-forward past the buzz and into the reality of drinking, that's enough to keep me from the fantasy of it. For me, drinking was never rainbows and butterflies, it was DUI's and handcuffs.

I hope you all have a great day and stay strong. Remember, a craving will never last as long as a hangover!

xoxo
K9

[piper123]

Newbies Nest

I've been thinking about the antibuse as well. I remember someone saying it cut off the endless mind chatter which is what I have. It is constant and the only thing that shuts it up is al. I've been afraid to take it but it might be what I have to do. I am going to try really hard to make it today day and struggle through tonight. Every time I stop, if I can get through one night I do better the next night and by day three I'm much better. And my doc. gave me meds to help me with the night terrors I get the first night I quit. They are horrifying. I know my problem is when I had kids and our dog to take care of I didn't have time to go back and forth on it. Now that they are all gone, I have this huge empty void.

[Willow23]

Newbies Nest

Lav - I have no idea. I think I'm going to lurk for a bit cos I feel bad for wasting people's time and support to be honest.

[piper123]

Newbies Nest

willow fwiw I feel the same way.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Willow and Piper....I felt that way too. I thought I was a lost cause...everyone else seemed to be able to rack up the days but me. I was the one that started with others who had the year anniversary...why the hell couldn't I do it??? I kept trying until I got past that dam Day 13, and then I never looked back. I felt like a fool many, many times for the trying and failing...until one time...it stuck. Please don't go away...the support of these people here is EVERYTHING! B

[piper123]

Newbies Nest

Thank you Byrd. I am going to keep trying.

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Willow and Piper - You are NOT wasting anybody's time. We are here to support each other, through the good, the bad and the ugly. We'd rather hear about your struggles than not hear from you at all! We have all had stops and starts and I have personally had more Day 1's than I can remember! As long as you never quit quitting, you will eventually get there. Please hang around, even if you don't post much, at least read. There's so much advice and support, you never know what will finally hit home and make your quit stick.
:h
K9

[Rudiger]

Newbies Nest

I'm new to the site

Hi everyone,

I am really getting tired of being out of control with my drinking. I don't want to go to AA because I have a sensitive job and there is nothing anonymous about it. Also, I am agnostic and it is very christian. But the community aspect and accountability was nice.

I don't want to go back either because I always felt ashamed for leaving and slipping.

Im really in a bad way about this. Any supper would be welcome!

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Hi Rudiger,

It's good to have you here. I understand about AA, I am not a big fan either, although I have been to a few meetings. I know it works for a lot of people, so I am in no way knocking it.

I think you'll find that this site is very supportive and non-judgemental. We've all been where you are and can sympathize. Getting sober is not easy, but it's so worth it. Can you tell us a little about yourself so we can try to help?

Stick around, you're gonna like it here!

K9

[LibraryGirl]

Newbies Nest

OMG I ate three 3!!! pieces of buttery cake with thick white icing today!!! It's not even 2 o'clock. I didn't eat like that before I quit drinking, and I need to lose like 60 lbs. How in the hell am I going to get in better shape/health like this?

I just felt like eating it, and I couldn't stop the craving. Is that how it's going to be? If I can stop one negative thing, I am going to succumb to everything else, lol?

[Snapdragon]

Newbies Nest

Hi everyone

Thanks Jane, K9 and Canadian for your words of support - and Lavande - you are sooo right. I did choose to drink. I need to concentrate much harder on choosing NOT too drink. I keep running through how it could have been different last night. I had the big argument going on in my head and stood at the wine counter perusing my thoughts. The decision to buy that wine (and consequently drink it) was a snap one. I should have just turned around and walked away.

Piper and Willow - I am so with you on your feelings of failure. I've been lurking around here for years too and like you can't seem to rack up more than a few days. Lets keep supporting and encouraging each other.

Byrd I felt so inspired by your post - it is people like you who struggled and failed over and over and finally made it that keeps me trying again. You mentioned reaching Day 13 and you never looked back - was that the turning point for you? I know that this will be a continual struggle but is there a period of time after which the constant turmoil in our heads slows down a bit and we can live a relatively 'normal' day without thinking about AL?

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

I sometimes feel obligated to play the Devil's Advocate here -
But I do it in an attempt to rattle the nest (just a little).
NO ONE IS WASTING ANYONE"S TIME HERE!

Sometimes a little shake up is needed! I know I needed to hear the cold, harsh reality of what continued AL abuse was going to do to me. Willow, piper, Rudiger, Snapdragon & all who are trying to quit ~ please keep trying but be sure you understand that you need to do the work.

You need to make real commitments not just talk about quitting.

You need to make good solid plans for yourselves. There is no one plan that will work for everyone. You have to address your own issues/drinking triggers. Plan ahead & don't wait until you are confronted with a drinking situation. Sometimes this means avoiding social situations for a while even avoiding certain people for a while - just do it! I stayed home & alone for nearly three months before I allowed myself to be around drinkers. I needed that time to feel strong & secure in my commitment.

And most importantly - make sure your house is prepped for your quit - get rid of the AL!!!! If it's not there it won't be calling to you

[LibraryGirl]

Newbies Nest

Well said Lavande. It's harsh, but it's true. If you fail to plan, you plan to fail. I am still negotiating the AF waters, and I know I am still vulnerable, so I wouldn't dare put myself above anyone else, successful or not. This is a journey, and it's a journey that can be done, by each and every one of us.:l

[DogWoodBlossom]

Newbies Nest

Welcome Rudiger. I'm pretty new here myself. I had a long time of sobriety in AA and at the time, I needed that, but you are right about it not always being "Anonymous". That's why I don't really want to go back. I will if I feel like I have to...anything beats living in an alcohol fog for the rest of my life. Hang around, you'll pick up some good info & nonjudgemental support!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Snapdragon...I had a year of trying...I got a couple days many times...caved on the third...I got 12 days twice and caved. The 3rd time I got 12 days...I tried something I'd never done before...I didn't cave. Day 13 was a turning point for me. The days from then to Day 30 were tumultuous...up one minute, down the next, but by golly I got thru them somehow...I had a nest buddy just ahead of me...after 30 days, the mind chatter got so much better. I was to a point where I had to quit drinking or either totally give in to it. My liver readings were bad, my husband was packed...I HAD to make a choice. It's hard to explain, but after I got the 2 weeks in, and was in uncharted territory....I didn't want to go back. Back to WHAT? What was there to go back to? Hell?? So every day I didn't drink just made me stronger in my resolve to continue. And it felt good and it felt right. It takes some conditioning to make yourself say NO, HELL NO I will NOT drink no matter what. I imagine it as battery acid to my body, and that's just how it acts...it eats away at everything I love. I consider AL to be the enemy. I do not cook with it or handle it in any way. I am not Mother Theresa....I protect my quit at all costs...it is my most valuable possession. All it takes is one drink, and I'm not going there. AL has done NOTHING for me that I can't live without. Byrdie