Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Guitar!! Thank you for the kind words...I often write just what I am thinking and feeling, and then a nester will quote a famous author and BAM..."hey, that's what I said, only in better words!" Mindfulness....I like that a lot. I may even start reading books....who knows, I might be really smart under all this!!!
LibraryG....I had aches and pains too, the first month or so, I remember thinking, no dang wonder I drank like a fish...But things do improve A LOT as time goes on, give ye old body a chance to do what it does best! Love to all! Byrdie

[SAUSAGE]

Newbies Nest

Hi everyone
Day 15 for me.
Nursie huge congrats on 60 days that is fantastic. Finally done, well done on your week, was wondering how you were doing? Jane you did so well last night, we all get these terrible nights once ona while, mine was last Mon. I'm sure tonight will be easier, I find it's unusual to have two v bad nights ona row. A big welcome to CollieMom, you have found a great place, and Hi to all the other nesters!

Well it's my birthday this weekend and im slightly anxious. It's on Sun but mr Sausage and I are planning to go out for dinner on sat night which is nice as we don't get out much. It does make me sad though that I won't be able to have one little drink to celebrate. Yes I know this is totally the wrong attitude and I need a good kicking!

Will drop back later
Sausage x

[BelleGirl]

Newbies Nest

Hi everyone in the nest...lots going on here! I'll have to catch up as I was without computer for most of yesterday!

Just wanted to say:thanks:to everyone for their support after my post about feeling depressed at this stage. Lav: I laughed when I saw your post that Byrdie would recommend "go find yourself a cookie". While I was reading that, I had just cracked into a brand new box of Thin Mint cookies. My daughter is selling GS cookies, and we bought extra to sell. I probably shouldn't have opened yet-another-box-for-myself...but did anyway. Much better than the AL alternative.

Hope all are doing well...have to take pup to the vet...I wish you all a great day in the nest.

[BelleGirl]

Newbies Nest

You know...after I wrote my last post i started thinking. I just feel like I am going to fail this weekend...don't know how or why??? Is this another common feeling as one gets close to the 60 day mark? What the heck is wrong with me?

...only thing I can tell myself right now is...One Day At A Time...

OK...off this pity party and on to the vet...
thanks for listening...

[Steady Hands]

Newbies Nest

Hi Belle

I really struggle to do things (like study) now that I am sober...
I've been sitting and staring at my books for days now, but the progress is way too slow. I thought maybe I should just drink till I am done with my studies. This is frustrating!!! I am sober, but depro and useless!!!

I already walked in the park. Ate a whole slab chocolates and still feel like I can't get AL out of my head. Got scared or that feeling that I am going to fail, because I've been thinking of just go and buy the damn wine so many times the past few days...!!!

And then I thought: What if this is the turning point? It is the final few days that will suck, and after this I will be able to go about life sober. I'll be able to focus and eat normal and feel ok. I have a lot of body aches and I am tired the whole time!

When I walked in the park I saw the leaves changing colour. Winter is on its way... We might feel that things are standing still, because we don't feel different in this struggle, but time is NOT standing still. If I stay AF till the leaves change colour again, it will almost be a year! This is the only way!

I haven't tried giving up coffee + sugar or exercise like mad. Will try that first.

Please don't give in this weekend!

ODAAT...

[CollieMom]

Newbies Nest

Thanks....

..to all for the Welcomes. Feels good to be here (which is where I've been for the past two hours+, trying to 'get acquainted' with some of you current posters!)

Last things first:
BelleGirl - I started dreading tonight last nite. Even though I'm mostly retired, the w/e still sings its "Let's unwind!" tune. So let's stay strong together. Hope your vet visit went ok.

The "How to Stop" post by Unwasted is #19047 (so much good stuff there, I added it to this morning's three pages of notes).

Lolab - Good idea for my Toolbox. Certainly making a 5-530 p.m. nightly appointment here is better than 'giving in.' (Oh but - anyone wanna fix our dinner!?) Also, your 'advice journal' idea is a great one - I immediately started cutting and pasting 'words-to-the-wise' (make that FROM the wise) into a document.

After Day One last nite, Day Two came far too early (esp with 3 out of 4 insomnia nights) and I felt fairly crappy. Next thought: well, think how really bad you'd feel if you'd had the usual martini intake last nite! So, hurrah!

There is so much inspiration here. It's a good feeling to be among such a great group - with so many other recents and newbies. I also love the 'international-ism' of this site - almost as good as traveling to Canada or Ireland or Oz or...wherever.

Sitting here reading, gathering a feeling of such strength from all of you, I thought - you guys are going to be my anchor. Then thought - nope! An anchor brings you down. Y'all are a lifeboat to help me float!

[CollieMom]

Newbies Nest

Steady Hands - At 100 days....you deserve a salute and more! Stay strong - you should be so very proud of yourself!

[Unwasted]

Newbies Nest

Start With A Decision To Change Your Life - Article

Any good program of recovery starts with the idea of total surrender and the willingness to change your life.

You still have to commit fully to the idea of change. There is no way around that, no matter what type of program you may follow. Yes, it really is all about change!

* Pay attention to how happy you are at various times throughout the week in relation to your drug or alcohol use. Are you always happy? Are you happy for one hour each day? For only an hour or two each week? Start honestly measuring how much time you spend actually being happy and content. Is your drug of choice really doing for you what it used to do? Does it produce happiness for you all day, every day? Or is the happiness more of a fleeting memory that you are just chasing now?

* Do you remember the good times from when your drug or alcohol use was more fun? Are you trying to recreate those good times by using your drug of choice? Is it working?

* What is the point of your drinking or drugging? Are you medicating your emotions? Are you medicating physical pain? Are you just trying to have a good time? Is it working? Is it working as well as it used to work? Do you think it will ever work well again?

Ask yourself these questions when you wake up some time and are relatively sober. Really think about them and realize that?for the addicts and alcoholics out there that are reading this?the answers should all point to the idea that IT IS OVER. The fun is gone. The ability to medicate your pain is gone. Now it is just a fleeting a memory that you have of how well your drug of choice once worked for you. Those days are gone and you cannot get them back. Time to get sober and move on with your life instead.

Obviously no one can make this decision for you. I cannot convince you to make the decision either. But please do yourself a favor and at least ask yourself these hard questions when you are lucid, and really think about the answers. Is it worth chasing that high every day?

I know that it used to be worth it?.that is how it is with every addict and alcoholic. Of course it used to be worth it. When we first started, our drug of choice was wonderful, and it caused very few problems. But at some point you have to get realistic, and say to yourself

?You know what? It is no longer worth chasing that high every day, just to medicate myself and feel halfway normal. I can feel halfway normal without the drugs and the alcohol if I get myself properly detoxed and on the road to recovery.?

Yes, you can have a ?normal? life again, but you have to make the decision to do so.

And you will not make that decision until you either:

* Are miserable enough to try something new.

* Are courageous enough to see through your denial and realize that self medicating is no longer working for you.

Those are the only two ways to make the decision and so those are the two ideas that you need to start pondering and working towards.

If you have not yet stopped self medicating then you might bookmark or favorite this article and come back and read it again some time. You are the only one who can make the decision but this post hopes to remind you of why it will never get any better until you surrender and try a new way of life!

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

CollieMom -
I loved your post, especially your last thought. What a great addition you are to our little nest, hope you grab a twig and stay a good long while!

Last night I had a rather long chat with my nephew (for those of you who don't know, he moved in with me about 4 weeks ago, he's 18). We talked about what the "kids" are doing these days, the drinking games they now play (all I ever played was Quarters...anyone remember that?) and what they "smoke". He did confide in me that he's drank a few times (never drives though, I have POUNDED that into his head!) and that he has tried the Mary Jane a couple of times. I told him honestly of what I've gone through with alcohol. I told him it seems fun at first (and it is, lets be honest), but somewhere it shifts and for me it went from a fun party setting to me being a middle-aged pathetic woman drinking alone. I'm sure most of what I said went in one ear and out the other, but at least we are honest with each other. I also told him that I do smoke (ciggies) a little bit (boys are so oblivious, he hadn't even noticed...lol). Overall I feel I opened a nice door and he can now be honest with me. It's not like talking to his mom (very overprotective, she's my sister and I love her to death but she needs to cut the cord!), he knows I've been around the block a few (thousand) times and can relate to whatever he says. Whew....I'm sure I'll be re-hashing this with my daughter in the next few years. Although she kind of scares me how "straight and narrow" she is...I wonder if she's really my kid. LOL

Well sorry for the long ramble....did I mention I'm so ecstatic that it's Friday??! No excuse to drink though, just another day! Love and strength to all my Nestie friends!

K9

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Belle Please post some more. It works so well for me to write down my feelings....you might discover why you think you'll fall or something else you didn't know about yourself :-)

Trash pick up day- it's so windy...there's recyclables ALL over the neighborhood. I just pulled out of the driveway and right in my front yard lies an empty vodka bottle...poor thing probably trying to find its way home..... ITS NOT MINE!!!!!:-)

[CollieMom]

Newbies Nest

Thanks K-9. Your nephew is a v. lucky boy - and the chats you wonder whether he's hearing now, I'm sure will pay off in coming months and years.

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Thanks CollieMom - I hope a little of my "wisdom" (ha) sticks in his head. I even opened up and told him that I am on Antabuse, that it got THAT bad for me...so he realizes I am not joking. And he sees that I am still fun to be around and silly...I'm not some boring bump on a log just because I don't drink. He did tell me he drank just to be more social. He has 2 younger brothers, so he may be my test dummy. For some reason the boys open up to their Aunt (me) in ways they can't with their mom...I guess that's just the way it is. Well I am here if they need me...maybe all my stupid mistakes will come in handy after all!

[SAUSAGE]

Newbies Nest

Feeling really sad right now. It's Friday evening and it's my birthday weekend (b'day on Sunday) and I really want a drink.
Am currently on day 15.

[SAUSAGE]

Newbies Nest

Its only 6.25 pm here :upset:

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Hiya sausage...I went looking and maybe? found some inspiration for you to keep going?

So what have I achieved over the last 6 months - well here's a small list;

I have been sober for 6 months
I have lost 26lbs in weight - I can fit into my wedding dress, and clothes I wore in my 20's
I am no longer on antidepressants.
I have more time for my family and am more patient with them
I feel so much better, so much more energy, better skin - everyone compliments me on how well I look
I am exercising again, running, swimming, the gym, it feels so good and I want to get really fit and do one more marathon one day.
I am no longer wasting my evenings in a drunken stupor in front of the TV, unable to recall what I watched anyway, - I have new hobbies and interests and have taken up old ones again.
I've made new on line friends, with the same common goal as me
MWO has taught me to build a new life for myself that doesnt' have room for alcohol

It's not easy - I still struggle, I still rely on people here, I am very aware, I'm only one drink away from relapse - and i've learned of many people who've relapsed after months, years of sobriety so I know I can never be complacent.

I believe I stopped drinking just in time, and I want to thank everyone here for all their support as I continue on my journey.

__________________


Think back to how great you were feeling then....it's do-able again! You're on your way! You know if you give in now, it'll be a struggle to get back on track.....:l