Newbies Nest

[choppersmom]

Newbies Nest

Just wanted to say goodnight to all nesters!

PR, thank you for your post. I have reflected all day what this day actually means.

SD, WOW...that is all I can say right now. So, brunch sounded good. I hate those awkward hugs good-bye. Maybe another date?

Yes, my honey and the dogs came home today. I do have a question for everyone. I have been mostly AF and some drinks. Normally, the BF gone would make me miss him tremendously. I didn't really miss him these last three days, only my Chopper. Is that bad? I love him to death, but now I am questioning myself. Is this normal with going AF or trying to mod?

I am with you all for June, July and beyond. The only name I could come up with for a June thread is the AF Jump-in June. I know it's lame. What are some other ideas?

Have a great night everyone! See you in the morn:l

[Sianax]

Newbies Nest

Hi everyone, I'm new :new: and posting here for the first time. I just wanted to say how wonderful this resource is and I already feel better just knowing that you are all out there

I have noticed my drinking patterns to be getting a bit more harmful this past year due to a lot of external stresses, depression (because of the stresses!) and generally struggling to cope with various pressures in my life. I know that drinking doesn't help but seem to keep going back to it, which makes me feel sad and that I've failed - especially when I struggle to catch up with all the little tasks that always need doing! I've managed periods of abstinence in the past for months at a time but I usually ended up going back to drinking again when it seemed to be a case of "well, a little glass of wine won't hurt, its a nice treat..." and before I know it the bottle is gone, then I get another the next day and so on. This year particularly I've noticed that I've been drinking most days and too much quite often which has affected my performance at work, and my relationships although only my boyfriend has had the guts to question me about it. He lives far away so again, feeling sad about that is just another excuse I give myself for that "little treat" of wine...

I am determined therefore to attempt to go completely AF as of today. I hope that with involvement in this community that this will help give me the encouragement to keep going, not just for a few months but for years and more. I also hope that in return I will be able to offer help and encouragement to others also.

So here goes... Day 1 of a new life!

[mom2ajt]

Newbies Nest

Sianax- Your post sounds like it could have been written by me! I've tried to stop drinking before and have managed fairly long periods of time as well. Then, thinking I could handle moderation, started again. Felt guilty, like a failure, etc........ We are in the process of relocating and my husband has been living out of state for a few months now and I am here with the kiddos, selling the house etc. This whole episode has made my drinking worse. Time to stop I am on day 3 as of today and want to stop for good! I'll be right there with you!

Good Luck! WE CAN DO THIS!!!!!!:welcome:

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Welcome Sianax,

You have found a great place! There's lots of support & encouragement to be found here.
I know all about treating yourself with a 'little' wine. Pretty soon that little treat becomes a huge burden. I used a bottle or more of wine/day to self medicate my anxiety/stress situation. It didn't help, just made everything worse.

Your decision to go AF is a good one, you won't be sorry. It's tough but doable. Be sure to download & read the MWO book if you haven't already. It is full of useful info to help you make your plan.

Stay close, keep reading & posting. We are here to help each other.

All the best,
Lavande

[dill]

Newbies Nest

Good morning, peeps! The lovely long weekend has ended for most, but I have taken an extra day off today! Woo-hoo!

Welcome sianax! :welcome: You have come to a place where you will find lots of support. It seems many folks in the nest have a problem with wine. Your story sounded very familiar to me!

mom2, congrats on day 3! Awesome! I am impressed, especially knowing that you are in the midst of a move and on your own with the kids! :goodjob:

Chops, I have been having some troubles lately with my emotions, too. I think it is normal. I've been kind of depressed and withdrawn. I am attributing it to the alc reduction and the chemical changes that are coming about. Although I have been mostly AF, I have had some slips. I think the slips keep the 'depression' going because alc is basically a depressant. Well, I hope that is all it is. But if it keeps up, I will talk with my doc about it. Perhaps you should, too, if you are concerned and if it continues.

Well, SD, that sounds really great! The cancellation was a disappointment, but it seems it turned out very well in the end! Is he someone you would like to get together with again? Do it in June and you will be sure to be AF! :H

Hi, all to come! Coffee's on. Have a good one!

[Sianax]

Newbies Nest

Hi Mom2ajt! Thanks for your kind words - it certainly does make such a huge difference to know that not only are you not alone in this, but that someone's experience is so similar. Well done on reaching day 3 now, hope I can say that in a few days when you have succeeded in reaching a week!

A pitfall I know I must watch out for is the complacency after a few days of "hey, I've managed a few days, now I can reward myself" then overdo it and feel terrible for it (emotionally more than physically!). For me anyway today as day 1 will probably be a breeze but I'm hoping to keep it going this time. I guess another problem is that if I slip and do have that "little treat" then I beat myself up for it and feel so bad that I end up having more anyway. Wine was not a treat, it was as a way of numbing that constant anxiety and in so many senses a way to shelve problems for another day (thus creating more stress) which I was more than happy to forget the next time I came to think "ooh, a glass of wine would be nice right now" - that it was really easy to fall back into the same traps all over again... well not this time!

Really hoping that I can stick it out this time. I've suffered and tried to deal with this privately before but feel that my resolve is stronger, and the approach of seeking some support from the wonderful community here can really make this time a success.

Good luck to you all - I feel part of something wider and so glad we can face this together and not alone!

[sdlovespackers]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning Nesters!!
:welcome: Sia!! The longer your here the more you realize you have more in common with more people out there than you think!! That's what is so unique about this place!!
Mom2-Keep up the great work!!
Dill--good for you for taking the extra day off!!! Is the family still here? I'm pretty sure we'll go out again...he's really nice....I guess we'll see what happens??? He's not what I would have normally seen myself dating...actually he reminds me of my brother in law...in a way???
Chops--so you're on board for the June-af-athon??? I like your name for it Jump In June!! I'm a little worried it's going to be tough!! Really tough....I think drinking and summertime have gone hand in hand for me since I was 13...sad to say!! My dad's exact words to me were (when we'd go out to the cabin) "I don't care if you drink, you just don't drink mine!" Spoken like a true alcoholic!! Gross! And I think your feelings are normal...I think once you start feeling better about yourself and your accomplishments....it's almost like (well for me)...I've actually just enjoyed being around ME! Not to say I don't love my son...but I liked it when he was at his dad's this time....I liked just having ME time...and this is the first time in my life I've been able to say that...maybe that's what you're experiencing too....OR maybe I'm WAY out in left field????!!! :H I tend to be there A LOT!!
Well I better get to work...sorry if I missed anyone....to all those to come....have a great Tuesday!!!!
SD:l

[mom2ajt]

Newbies Nest

SD - you are right about "ME" time. I love my kids but it is nice to settle in with a book when they go to bed! Now I just have to get use to the tea with the book rather than the wine. I do like myself a LOT more when I don't drink so that is something to keep in mind........

Have a great day

[LilBit]

Newbies Nest

Hiya, Nesters! It's a bright, sunny day here in beautiful San Fran. I wish you all were here for coffee or tea with me.

SD, please keep up the posts. I am 'living vicariously' through your dating life. It's fun.

Sia, you're in the right place and congrats on that first step. Funny, but after a week or so, you'll begin to realize that the AL actually contributes to your anxiety.

Choppers, don't feel bad about missing your dog more than the BF these last few days. ('Had to laugh, I have felt that way a few times!) Think about it. When has the dog ever p_ssed you off? They're nothing but love, whereas the human relationships tend to be a bit more complex.

Hang in there, Mom2. That's a hard situation you're in with the husband out of state, selling the house, taking care of the kids, etc. Any one of those things would send some folks over the edge.

Lavande, SD, Dill, and everyone -- I hope you have a great week. I'm down for Jump-in June (cute name, not lame, Choppers).

[startafresh]

Newbies Nest

Hello, just switched from the other thread. I'm a mum too and know exactly what you mean about relaxing when little one has gone to bed. You're often too tired to do anything.

I'm on DAY 12 AF and quite proud (although that usually comes before a fall, I know).

I can say depression has got easier to deal with (not so much since I'm not drinking - we know, as people have said, it's a depressant). Still it is a tricky road. One of the trickiest things I've found is reclaiming time for yourself. As a mum I've tended to put my child first and this often leaves me frazzled and tired. I know as a certain extent you have to, but if you have to hold things together you need to look after your self too.

I've only recently realised on some level that alchohol is not a 'treat' as it does not make me feel better in the long term.

:new::l

[choppersmom]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning Nesters! Sounds like everyone is off to great Tuesday. Thank you all for the kind words about my emotions. It is amazing how we are trying to make such positive changes in our lives and our emotions go all over the place. I am feeling much better today after a good night of rest!

Lilbit, I would love to be in San Fran with you for coffee. That sounds divine...I think I need a new vacation.

SD, you are so right about the ME time! You were not out in left field at all. Yes, I am in for June and it will be a huge challenge for me as well. Summertime always is. We can all hold hands and do this!

Mom2, great job on 3 days! You are doing fantastic considering all that is occurring in your life right now. Keep up the great work.

Dill, do you still have company? I bet you have been enjoying them. Doesn't your grandson come soon? Thanks for your kind words about emotions too. I am so glad I am not alone :l

:welcome: Sianax! Glad to have you in the nest. You are going to get a lot of support around here.

Starta, fabulous job on 12 days! Keep up the great work? How are you feeling?

Hi to Sea, LaVande, Lil, UNG, Peanut, PR, G and all others to come. Have a great day!

[startafresh]

Newbies Nest

hello choppersmom

thanks for your encouraging words to everyone.
i feel ok, just got that 'very sensitive to everything bit - that a lot of people seem to report when they go AF'. It's as if you have got a lot of things to work through that were always hidden by alcohol. Still, lots of good things too.
best
starta

[akaMonique]

Newbies Nest

Greetings everyone. A friend loaned me her MWO book and recommended this site. I feel right at home already. I was sober for 14 years (with off and on AA involvement, yet never feeling that was the right path for me, too right-wing vigilante; I was turned off that anything other than strict AA was frowned upon) and started drinking again five years ago, though it has not been as bad or obsessive as it had been in my twenties. Still, I do not want to drink a bottle of wine a day for the rest of my life. My goal is moderation but if that is not successful I'll go completely AF as I know I'm capable of it, but I'd like to have the option. On occasion. You know what I mean. I've order the topa as well as the starter kit and CDs. So until they arrive, I'm familiarizing myself with the boards. It's very encouraging to read everyone's progress and be part of a collective yet individualized journey - so thanks and I'll be seeing you around the forums.

[Xshadow]

Newbies Nest

Hello all .I finaly decided to jump in here in my hopes of trying to quit drinking .I dont drink during the week but my weekends are a different story .I'm a strong person and always set out to overcome any obsticals but this seem's to have got a pritty good hold on me .Last weekend i finaly told myself that i gota problem .That was harder to say then what i thought .But i'm kinda done .My confidence of kicking it i think has gotten the better of me .I got some L-glutamine and a few other suplaments to see if i can fix myself .Hopfully i'm going in the right direction .

[justinc]

Newbies Nest

Greetings ,

I have been struggling with alcohol all my life and have always been a binge drinker. Lately I seem to be drinking more and more. I am feeling depressed and ashamed of my actions when drunk this last weekend. I see the pattern yet still don't stop it I am sick of this suffering, the shame of not being in control. I will pick up the book and try to change my life.