Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Sausage, I think it's important we don't compare ourselves with anyone else!
We are all unique individuals, that's one thing I am sure of
Just keep moving forward & use a little of my famous 'Lavan-ittude' when you need to - obviously it works :H :H

Windy, did I say CONGRATS to you? My head is spinning right now. Thank goodness our nest record keeper Byrdie is on top of things

[Pocket]

Newbies Nest

Congrats to Lolab and Windy! :wd: I bet it feels great to have six months under your belts! That's awesome.

Made it through work today. My daughter came home from school crying because she didn't get a major part in the school play, poor thing. We played a board game and now she is taking a break before homework to watch Xena. Nothing makes a girl feel tough like some Xena, at least in our house! :H I'm just grateful to be sober so that I can be there for her tonight. There was a time when I would have consoled her hurriedly so that I could sneak to the bathroom and drink my afternoon drinks. :no: Shameful.

Anyway, going to work on the computer a bit, fix some dinner (I'm going to try to make a kale and potato soup... not sure how it's going to turn out) and pamper my girl. Evening, all!

[Nike]

Newbies Nest

I did it!

Hello everyone! I feel pretty guilty not posting because I come here everyday to draw strength and inspiration from all you brave and kind souls. I did it... 43 days without a drop of alcohol (except the flambeed bananas, but the alcohol burns off). It's been at least 25 years of basically daily wine drinking here in france and not an easy task to resist when everyone around you drinks daily.
Thank you ALL OF YOU ! Your stories are so heartening and inspiring and I could not have done it without you. I plan on staying very connected to y'all as I am dedicated but the urges can still be very strong and scary.
Jane27, check out my profile picture!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Pocket - you are already reaping the benefits of AF'ness. Glad your daughter had a sober parent to talk to

Nike, 43 days with no wine in France??? Great job, congrats!!!!
I've been there a couple of times myself & know that the wine flows freely. Happy you are hanging out with us!

[Nursie]

Newbies Nest

Evening Nest!

Congratulations on 3 glorious years Lav! Thank you for your consistent support and understanding. I am definitely going to check out that book too. I read "Healing the Shame that binds you" by John Bradshaw. I had forgotten about it until you suggested Radical Forgiveness. I think I will give them BOTH a read.

Lola- 6 months! Congratulations and thank you for giving me a leg up when I was doubting myself.

Windy! You too babe, look at you now!

Welcome back Scottish Lass. Missed ya

Pocket and Pinecone, you are doing so good! Everyone adds a heartbeat to this nest that keeps us warm and unites us in sobriety.

Nike- welcome and glad you are posting!

I'm sorry if I am forgetting anyone, it's a downfall of the iPhone.

Sausage, I think about the issue of counting the days too. I had a small slip the other day, chose to drink but not get drunk, the semantics and rules are sometimes demeaning if one has slipped. For me, I slipped but didn't fall. I will not slip again. I want sobriety more than I want to drink. I don't care what the days are. I am sober today. Hopefully I will get to say "however many days with one stumble"

I feel the love in the nest tonight. I am so grateful to all of you.

on every single feather

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

It is a loving nest today

Wishing everyone a safe night! I'm tired after all my celebrating today
Thanks to everyone today, glad to be sharing the nest with all of you!

Lav

[LibraryGirl]

Newbies Nest

Congrats to you Lavande on 3 years! Seems like there was someone else too...oops (Lolab, 6 months?!), Congrats to all on your sober journeys however far you've come, it's something to celebrate!

Evening Nesties. Just finished watching Spartacus...finale is Friday. Then I can ditch Starz for a year and pick up HBO to watch Game of Thrones, lol.

Hope everyone had a good Monday.

[WickedMom]

Newbies Nest

Bravo Lola and Windy!!!! Welcome to 6 months AF! It?s been quite the ride don?t you think? I?m so glad that both of you made it here. I?m hoping the next 6 months will somehow be a bit less bumpy. Just knowing that there are other people ?out there? experiencing similar phenomena has really helped me. Of course I don?t know either of you at all -- but my version of who you are is awesome! And even though I?m a week ahead of you I feel as if I?ve been tagging along -- so thanks for letting me!

Also a big big big congratulations to Lav for 3 years of freedom from hangovers, and a big hug for helping so many others -- me included, to make a good start towards doing the same! I think you?re terrific!

Goodnight to everyone here. You have all helped me so much! :heart:

[Turnagain]

Newbies Nest

Whew! That Lavan-ittude is rubbing off on everyone around these parts! WickedMom, I haven't been hanging out much in the Nest, so forgive me for wishing you a belated WHOOPIE for YOUR six months. And LolaB and Windy - double wowee and WHOOPIE for both of you - 6 months of fabulous freedom is a milestone to be grateful for and proud of as well!

I have a feeling that someday we'll all be congratulating you all on multiple years of AF living!

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Well, thanks alot turnagain?I just sat down to read and figure out something healthy to have for breakfast ? and now I want a whoopie pie. :H

Congratulations Windy!:yougo::yougo:

6 months ago, Windy posted that she didn?t think 30 days was long enough for her to be AF to see if it was the right choice for her ? so she was going for 100 days. I read her post and honestly? I thought she was riding high on that initial momentum of being AF?.all talk?I expected her to disappear or post sometime soon that she had ?slipped??I half expected ME to also. And NO WAY did I join her in that challenge ? 100 days seemed like an impossible feat. For Pete?s sake, I only had one day under my belt ? NINETY NINE MORE?!?!?! Plus, that ending day ? the 100th day wasn?t until AFTER the dreaded holidays?.her 100th day was just after the first of the year. But I really don?t know exactly how it happened. I wish I did?.but somewhere along the way, I just kept going. I followed my plan, and I used all the tools here and I kept posting?kept discovering things about myself in the process?.and I kept checking?and Windy was still hanging in there?.it certainly wasn?t my most motivating factor?and I wouldn?t recommend totally relying on someone else?s dedication to remaining AF ? you have to rely on yourself, but it sure was nice having a sobriety sister. Thanks Windy.

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Thanks for the awesome post wickedmom - I hear ya on that “hoping that the next 6 months are a bit less bumpy!”

Thanks to everybody for all the nice congrats….this was the only place I celebrated as I was such a closet (well, laundry room haha Belle) drinker.

6 months - let alone 3 years was something I didn’t think was possible for me. And looking back, it wasn’t until I actually ‘wanted’ to still be AF in the future, did I see it is a possibility. I always still kind of “saw” me drinking socially….’how could someone not?’ I think that’s what allowed me to have that glass of wine at the baby shower last spring and the underlying thought (that I could drink socially) was the foundation for me not being successful last year. Even at the beginning of this quit, up until recently, I think somewhere subconsciously I still didn’t know what I would do in social situations…the whole concept made me really uncomfortable. But something’s changed….still changing….with every day of not drinking – I’m gaining confidence in who I really am….thinking I CAN carry on conversations without my crutch….(in reality the conversations had gotten lost WITH the crutch….I lost my train of thought halfway through a sentence…and I had gotten to escape a crowd just to drink more and avoid any more conversation – so I remember this when I think ‘how can I socialize without it?’)

I’m not fixed yet. I’m still a little self absorbed – and a little obsessive about certain things – but there’s lots of years of drinking to get “un-used to”….. Anyway, sorry to be all about me….more self discovery going on I guess…..

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Lolab, I really enjoyed your last posts. It is a journey, no doubt about it. So many different phases...at first, just getting thru the days, then keeping it going. But the phase of getting to know yourself and what you are capable of doing is the most amazing to me. Knowing that I CAN overcome adversity, and that I really AM stronger than I thought, or other people thought..is just eye opening. If I'm reading correctly, you are liking the person you are uncovering...underneath all the layers of crap, was really a hell of a person waiting to get out. I could have written those words...I don't know how I did it either, I just kept not drinking and the days piled up. It reminds me of when I see surfers out in the ocean...as they try and get past the breakers they keep falling off and getting hit...over and over they try, until one time they get past them and then they are able to get out into the calm...riding over the little swells. It is an amazing journey...I went out last night with my step daughter, and 2 friends of hers and my husband. They all drank and I had water. I wondered if I had become a wet blanket...since I didn't have my crutch...but I held up my end of the conversation without making a fool of myself. It was a great evening...and I'm not ashamed of anything I did.
The next 6 months only get better...you will notice that your mind has never been sharper...and in spite of what you have told yourself for years (not worthy) you feel as if you are at the top of your game. It's a very good place to be...takes a while to get there. I feel like I'm the best version of me that I've ever been...Byrdie 2.0. With updates along the way. Getting AL out of my life was the best decision I ever made. Byrdie

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters!

lola, when we start this journey none of us have a clue who the AF person about to emerge is going to be? I had the hardest time trying to picture myself as a non-drinking, non-smoking adult. I had never ever been one before That's why we feel so scared at times ~ fearing the unknown. Turns out there is absolutely nothing to fear. AF life is good

Chilly but sunny in these parts, hope to get outside for a bit of cleanup work, we'll see
Wishing everyone a fantastic AF Tuesday!
Lav

[Pinecone]

Newbies Nest

Good morning everybody!

Lolab, I find your observations very interesting. I have never really liked "social situations." I guess I started "liking" them when I started drinking. I think I was just really escaping the social aspect of the situation by drinking, and I wasn't really enjoying people's company as much as I enjoyed the drinking. Really, when I was drinking, I would have never, ever, ever gone to a "social situation" if I wasn't able to drink....

Now with a little AF time under my belt, I have been so much more comfortable around just one or two people at a time. It just seems so much more meaningful to focus all the wonderful attention our brains are capable of on individuals we choose to be with, rather than a crowded room.

Windy, sorry I missed you yesterday, Congratulations!!!

Pocket, that is a heartwarming story and that is what it is all about.

Nike, great to have you on board! I love it when someone "sneaks" on here with an accomplishment like your 43 days!

Nursie, I like your attitude. We are either moving forward or backward end of story.

A day off, whew! I hope everbody has a great AF day!

[windy]

Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters,

Wow!! I just poured my heart out here and lost my post. Grrr... (And I don't pour very often.)

Lola B -- You Rock!! You have brought tears to my eyes today. What you have given me is priceless and I am so humbled by your words. I never, ever expected to have found so much love and gratitude from a social networking site. When I first started that thread -- 100 Days From Now -- I was DESPERATE and needed to make a DO or DIE commitment. I also knew it was a (bit) cocky and some people would think exactly what you did, but I was determined and knew if I was that bold, I would have to do it. It worked for me and I am so glad you came along for the ride. It couldn't have been done without the support of the Newbies Nest though. I think I would have faded away without the daily support and commitment and having you and Wicked, Lav and Byrdie right there with me.

Wicked -- Your words too mean so much to me. To have come this far and gotten through those months between 3 and 6 is huge. I am starting to feel like a real sober person. For a while there I felt kinda like a fake. I am so looking forward to sharing our journey, it surprises me. I feel so darn happy I feel like dancing. The last few months have been weird. I felt that if I did 100 days, my problems would all be over. NOT. Kind of a let down, but I preserved and came out the other end.

Byrdie -- I loved you analogy of the surfer and riding the waves (well..at least trying). It really is the journey that is important as apposed to getting there.

Byrdie, Lav and Turnagain -- You guys are just as important to me and your guidance and support has been invaluable to my success this far. Thank you. I hope I can give back someday, the way you guys have.

I am still a work in progress and have renewed my commitment for one year and I am sure I can make it with your support. I need to really get my arms around how destructive alcohol is to me --- mind, body and soul, and I am not sure I am completely there yet, so I will coming here for support and hopefully to give something back too (if you can put up with my babbling). All I know for sure right now, this day, is that I WILL NOT DRINK and the booze brain is no longer in control. I AM!! Dammit.

I am so glad and grateful to have found this site and especially this Thread and all of you!!