Newbies Nest

[BlondeAFAmbition]

Newbies Nest

Morning Nestlings!

LOLAB!!! Congrats on 6 months AF!!! Sorry if I'm late to the party but I haven't been in the nest all week. Just now catching up. So many nice milestones this week! It's so inspiring! Great job Lolab! You are such an asset here and I always enjoy reading your supportive and positive posts. Thank you for being here!

Well, here I am perched at 36 days and feeling elated. Plus it helps that I have today and tomorrow off from work...ha ha!

Hope you all have a lovely day...make it a good one, there's will be no other like it!

[Unwasted]

Newbies Nest

Hey Nesters,

I posted this elsewhere but wanted to also add it to the nest. It's a podcast on Alcoholism aired Monday on the Diane Rehm Show - NPR. It's an hour long but worth the time if you can spare it!

Alcoholism | The Diane Rehm Show from WAMU and NPR

Best to you all.:l

[Honeysoup]

Newbies Nest

Well after the wonderful day of finding this site...it wasn't good enough, cuz right before I picked up my kid from daycare I ran to CVS just to buy some melatonin so I could sleep w/o AL and then grabbed some wine. When home drank the wine and then I found I needed a Margareta b/c my wine was gone....ate myself to sleep barely remember taking a shower and shaving my legs and woke up PISSED OFF at myself. Why why why...I want to change so BAD why is it so hard when I just want to quit but my witching hour 4-8 is controlling my cravings. WHY! I need help so bad and I wish someone could scare the hell out of my drinking so I don't want it anymore. The thing is I have Campral, but it doesn't work until you are AF for 3-5 days. I can't get through the 3-5 days. I am only sober 1 night a week and that's the worst night! Then I wake up and love myself. And then reward myself with a nice chilled Chardonney! GOD HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Hi Nesties!
Happy Wednesday...we're almost halfway through the week..yay! Thanks for the video UW, I will try to watch that later! Kaizen, I was just telling my nephew about that movie "Leaving Las Vegas" the other day, I haven't seen it in years, but I remember it's very dark and disturbing...and sad.

Looks like I'll be alone this weekend, my daughter is going to her dad's for Spring Break and my nephew (lives with me) is going to visit his dad too...guess what my first thought was? "I'll be all alone, I should have stopped taking my Antabuse"...UGH...it only lasted a SECOND though before I snapped back to my senses. I hate that the automatic thought is to drink, even though I don't even want to. At least it's passing quickly these days. Maybe I'll catch up on those 2 movies this weekend, they're older so they should be at the Library.

Everyone have a great day and I'll check in later!

K9

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Honeysoup, we crossposted!
I feel your frustration. I used to pick up my prescription for Antabuse at CVS and then grab a 12 pack on the way out (figuring I'd start the Antabuse the NEXT day). It's scary you can buy Antabuse and alcohol in the same store.
Anyway, I have been where you are many times. I've made excuses to go into CVS or other stores so I could pick up other things and not JUST alcohol...don't want to look like an alcoholic right?
My first few nights of going AF I had to stay out of my house, because that is the only place I drank. Can you go to the movies, the library, browse around stores or anywhere else to pass the time? I found that if I stayed away a couple of hours I could get through the night. Eventually you won't need to do that, but the first few days it helps.
You mentioned you have Campral, so you've been to the doctor (?)...is there any way you can get a prescription for Antabuse?
Please keep posting and let us know how you're doing. I'll be thinking of you!!
K9

[windy]

Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters,

Hi Honeysoup --- I hear your frustration and I know all to well what it feels like to wake up Pissed at yourself because of your inability to ward off the cravings the night before. Remember when those cravings start rearing their UGLY heads just how disappointed and PISSED you were this morning. Write down how disappointed (and most importantly, how PISSED) you are and reread that when the cravings are strong and the Booze Brain won't leave you alone. Take that anger you have for booze and put it in a bottle and open it up when it starts talking to you and let it out; use it; it is your secret weapon. Write down and describe the person you want to be and the person you don't want to be and reread over, and over, and.... Take control of the voices and kick their asses. Good luck! You want this I can tell and you deserve to have it. Also, there is some great information regarding urge surfing in the Toolbox located in the Monthly Abstinence section.

[SAUSAGE]

Newbies Nest

Hi all, busy day for me, off out this eve to the kids swimming club.

Haven't had time to read properly but did notice Honey's post.

Others have given you good advice re meds and tool box but 3 other suggestions to help motivate you;
1) watch the "rain in my heart" documentaries on You tube ( there are 10) about alcoholism.
2) have you read the book by Jason Vale on quitting alcohol? Quite a few people have written about it on this site and many including myself have found it helpful.
3) consider watching the film "when a man lives a woman" starring Meg Ryan - about an alcoholic mother's and how it affects her family.

All the above were very motivational for me.

For 3 years I drank virtually every single day
Now I'm on day 34 AF.

Back later x

[Tipplerette]

Newbies Nest

Sausage, you are really doing well. Imagin 34 days AF. That would be a record for me.

Honey, I can so relate to the pissed off feelings the next day (usually beginning at 4:00 a.m.).

One of my recent motivators is to be a rebel and go anti-establishment. Since our society looks at alcohol consumption as normal and socially acceptable, I thought that taking a stance on abstinence would be very hippy-ish, devil-may-care and rebellious. I'm a former Harley rider chick who shocked my kids when I began wearing the chaps and leathers and take a certain thrill in rocking the boat. If this appeals to you too, rather than the deprivation way of thinking, than use it. April 1st is looking like my next and hopefully final QUIT. We'll see you on the boards!

[Kaizen]

Newbies Nest

Had a good sober Wednesday here, came close to swinging by and grabbing some beer, but eyes forward and made it home. I start my AB tomorrow, so the temptation was there for "1 last time" but I made it home. I plan to watch "When a Man Loves a Woman" tonight; pushing my normal DVR shows aside.

Honeysoup, I know exactly that feeling, been there many times. Those first 3 days after can be a pill as I get really depressed. I am new here, and I don't have a lot of advice yet, but I know that you can look towards 5 days and know that’s when things clear and get better. Just "never quit quitting" if sobriety is what you really want, and don't beat yourself up.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Honeysoup...addiction is a bitch. What happened to you in the store yesterday buying the wine is Addiction Head...Dick Head for short. In this journey, the first thing you must do is get control of your mind. When it tells you it is a good idea to drink just this one more time, say to yourself, NO, HELL NO! I will NOT listen to you! I will NOT drink tonight no matter what and no matter who! Addiction is a spoiled child in your head that wants his way...BAD...you must treatit just like you would in that case.. You might not be able ignore it, but you can turn your attention to something else. When a thought enters your mind, recite the Pledge of Allegience, or the Lord's Prayer....name the 7 Dwarfs or Dwarves....Google whether it's dwarfs or dwarves...do something to get your mind off that track of thinking. You said (I think) there are 4 bad hours for you...PLAN on what you are going to do to fill them...because if you don't, you will be throwing a pity party for yourself...and what's the first thing we do when that happens??? I started my quit on a Wednesday...it's a great first day...you can do it....also be sure to catch the thread," You know you're an alcoholic when....." It's an eye opener. Mind chatter is going to get bad....Lav calls it Monkey Mind...plan on this and have some countermeasures in your arsenal. If you love to bake...make some cupcakes and give them away to neighbors...try and do something to the service of someone else ...it is very gratifying, and at the same time, gets your mind off of what you are trying NOT to do. You can do it! Do NOT let the BEAST win tonight. Byrdie

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

LolaB, sorry I missed your big day, but a big congratulations on your 6 months AF! You have done so well!

[scottish lass]

Newbies Nest

Hi all - put the movie on my "to watch" list - thanks! It looks as if it will be a good movie to reinforce my stance!
Willow, yeah to double digits - me too!
Honey - totally get you - I have spent lots of money buying things that I really don't need in order to have a reason to stop and buy AL. I managed to make an excuse daily for a reason to buy, where it was for a mood/feeling or if it was a need. My trips home are always the worse, I can usually thing of something that I need, and that is teh beginning - I will look for a good bargain, and being the Scot I am, when I find the bargain one bottle is a waste fo a good bargain - and I am doing it right now - it is coming time for my drive home and the thoughts are very much present - time to have an attitude adjustment! In a different place to K9's - i had to lock myself in teh house so I did not find a carzy idea to hit any single shop as every single one sells AL!
Sausages recommendation to watch the rain in my heart documentaries is a great one, there is a thread here about them. They are incredible, shocking and real - have tissues ready...

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Lassie - I hijacked Caithness' thread and replied to you there...don't stop for gas, you can make it home, I have faith. Get your lovely butt home and stay there!

[scottish lass]

Newbies Nest

K9 - home, have gas and locking doors now!!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters!

Spring has sprung, my tulips are blooming
Being able to appreciate the small things in a clear & calm way is precious.

Honeysoup, last night I posted a link for you for the Tool box, did you look at it? You NEED to make a plan for yourself to get through those first 3 days. It won't happen by accident, by blessing or wishing. Yuo absolutely have to do the work. You have to want to be sober more than you want to drink. You can do it ~ obviously lolts of us have here. Make the commitment to make tomorrow your first AF day!!!!

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest. Don't let thoughts throw you off course....they're just thoughts & you don't have to act on them

Lav