Newbies Nest

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Hi all,

Just dropping by real quick...the Nest has been busy! I wanted to welcome all the new people, it's a great place here. Stick close and keep racking up those AF days.

I had a quiet weekend and not too much to report here, except I'm on day 98 and looking forward to more.

I'll drop in later when I have a chance to catch up!

K9

[DesertLady]

Newbies Nest

To borrow a phrase: HOLY CRAPPOLA! I've just divided up my supp doses for the next 7 days and baggied them. I've ordered a daily pill organiser - good job too! I'm taking all sorts of individual stuff right now to tide me over until the AllOne arrives, but I reckon I'll have to ditch some of these tabs then or I'll be spending my new sober life organizing and taking tablets!! Is this a common problem?

[Prairie Fairy]

Newbies Nest

DesertLady;1290102 wrote: To borrow a phrase: HOLY CRAPPOLA! I've just divided up my supp doses for the next 7 days and baggied them. I've ordered a daily pill organiser - good job too! I'm taking all sorts of individual stuff right now to tide me over until the AllOne arrives, but I reckon I'll have to ditch some of these tabs then or I'll be spending my new sober life organizing and taking tablets!! Is this a common problem?

LOL - YES!!! I need a suitcase for my supplements. I don't do powders so I carry a trunk wherever I go. :-)

[SAUSAGE]

Newbies Nest

Lots to read here, haven't had time to read properly. Will look back in tomorrow. Hope all OK? Wanted to stay accountable here on day 39.
Sausage x

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good job dodging that beer sypisfurn! Everytime you do that you make yourself just a little stronger

Sausage, 40 days tomorrow - yay!

I'm calling it a day - just plain old tired tonight but wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!
Lav

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

Struggling.....

[FlyAway]

Newbies Nest

Ride the wave Daisy. Make it through the night and tomorrow you'll be glad.

[SAUSAGE]

Newbies Nest

Hi everyone
Desert and DG you gave us lots to read and think about yesterday.
Daisy hope you are OK and held out, sypisfurn and Prarie - keep going, the days do add up - tomorrow it will be day 100 for K9!
Well today is my day 40 and despite this annoying head cold and cough I'm feeling pretty good.
Hope everyone is OK and I'll check back in again later. I am so grateful for all the support of the Newbies Nest over the last 40 days.

[Prairie Fairy]

Newbies Nest

Why we fight back...

Lilly - there are a couple reasons I can't do an extensive my story right now. But - I wanted to share something from my last long AF free stint. It makes the point here that you were also just making about drinking on the anniversary. I hope it helps.

Prairie Fairy;1206961 wrote: Hi all -

I was a a TEAR last night but did it on another thread - but realized this morning - some of the newbies don't realize we may hang out at the nest and a couple other threads.

But I thought about it this morning and decided that cross posting last nights tizzy isn't a terrible idea for several reasons:
1. It's fair to admit you get tempted for reasons other than physical
2. It's fair to get angry.
3. It's fair to have roiling emotions that this thing - AL - which has played a central role in the play that is our lives - is being forced kicking and screaming from the stage.

As you read this polemic - with strong language - realize I made it through. Another dance with the monkey chatter - done and dusted. And we go onward.



* #62 (permalink) * *
Yesterday, 09:02 PM
Prairie Fairy
Member
*
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 93
Gallery: 0
My Mood:

So - here is a seriously PISSY post-day 13 Test of Will. I don't have any physical urge for a drink. Not a lick of one.

But I am about as upset and pissed off as one adult human can be for MAJOR F'ing reasons- personal and professional. Really - there weren't this many reasons when I rattled off what was going on to my Shrink - and she dropped her pen and said most people would have had a complete and utter break down. And there's at least several more gigantic doozies now...

And here I sit. I'm drinking the relaxation tea. I'm taking the supplements. I'm waiting for the tea and the supplements to kick and chill me out. I think I mentioned I was pissed and upset?! I pulled up this thread because I had to remind myself why I hit bottom - why waking up checking the phone log to see who I called, praying to remember WTF we'd talked about, checking FB at 3 am to see what I had done...and to see what everyone had gone before me and said they hoped to gain.

Because I'm so DAYUM MAD and so DAYUM UPSET - my normal behavior would be to go up to the store and get some vino. I'm off tomorrow - hangover schmangover right?

WRONG. I'm going to fight this off. I WILL BE STRONGER THAN AL. I WILL BE STRONGER THAN HABIT.

SO here goes you freekin' Mind Stealing Alien - I have allowed you to steal enough of my life. There are days and nights I'll never get back. There are things I've said I can't take back.

No one but me poured you down my throat. I own it. I own every headache. Every upset stomach. Every feeling I hurt. Ever carpet I stained. Every bruise I woke up with that I couldn't explain. I own every regret.

So - here I am. Flawed. Cracked. But I am unbroken. You will NOT break me. I promised I'd make November 25th AL free and so help me God - I don't intend to fail.

For all the reasons that everyone ahead of me put on this post - it's a thread of possibilities and shame and regrets. It's a thread of dreams. And I will NOT let you steal them. Not again. Not tonight.

No matter how angry and upset I am.

Take that you rat bastard.

You can take the Monkey Chatter and shove it square up your arse. Use the ground glass. And skip the vaseline. I've done that for years. You tell me how you like it.

Freekin' Pissant.
__________________
That popping sound you hear is me attempting to remove my head from my arse. It's been there for years so this may take a while.
AF - 10/26/2011
30 Days AF - 11/25/2011 - Eyes on the Prize

[Honeysoup]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning!

Well a weird thing happened to me last night. I really wanted to stop at CVS again but I didn't. Then I screwed myself because I never through the last of the margarita mix and teq. away and so I was tempted and then boom..failed. So another night of drinking. I only had a little but the weird thing is I never got a buzz....I kept waiting for it but it never came. So then I was like..Ok going for the peach vodka and mixed a drink...it was disgusting so I through it out and ate a big meal. I am convinced that my DH or someone..switched the booze with water or something. BC I remember everything and I felt fine this morning. So I am trying to say to myself...Awesome, I hope DH did make the switch but I asked him and he says no. So, I don't know but this feeling is so weird. I kind of want to believe I didn't drink last night but I did. And who am I trying to fool only myself. I didn't even really want it...its more like HABIT and AL Control rather than craving. How do I get out of this vicious routine I'm in? Why do I want to slowly poisen myself. What is AL for away and why do I need or want it so badly. My DH don't drink my inlaws don't drink my parents live 1200 miles away. WTF? I HATE this. I really wish I could go into rehab or something just to get away from everyone and everything but I can't afford it and I don't want my kids to know and I don't want work to know my crazy secrects. Thanks for letting me vent...

I give great courage to all of you. This is such a struggle for all of us. I HATE YOU AL!!!

[DesertLady]

Newbies Nest

Oh bother - just wrote a whole lot, then paged back to read something and now it's gone! So now you get the short version: Day 6 done and dusted - YAY! I'm just so incredibly tired still. Is this normal? Feels like pregnancy tired - which I definitely am not. How long does this hang around for. My mind is already so much clearer and I'm itching to get more stuff done, but then the tiredness just overwhelms me and I need to go lie down again.... is the sleep what my body needs right now as it detoxs?

Hope you're all having a good day!

[Prairie Fairy]

Newbies Nest

Hi DesertLady -

I felt exhausted last quit until Day 13 - which if I remember correctly is turn the physical corner for most everyone - but if not usually by end of 14. Just keep hitting the supplements and the water - hold tight - get past the magic Day 13 and you should feel a million times better.

But I believe our bodies are in repair mode - flushing out the crap, doing what it can against the most egregious damage, and resetting systems that are whacked. I remember the time after 2 weeks out as this time of crazy great physical healthy feeling - it's part of what started to trick me into thinking I could mod.

[windy]

Newbies Nest

Hi DesertLady,

I would pay attention to your body right now and get the rest it needs. Drink plenty of water and keep concentrating on getting alcohol free. Right now it is very important to not drink any alcohol and any extra stress will make that difficult, so be easy on yourself. If you find you are still tired after 2 weeks, you may want to look at other reasons why, but don't worry about that now. Congratulations on getting 6 days done with; you are almost one week and that is HUGE. Take it easy and take it slow, you will get there. The most important thing is to keep from drinking any alcohol and then worry about other issues later. Enjoy the rest if you can. You will probably have more energy than you will know what to do with soon.

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Morning all!

Daisy - How did you do? I hope you rode the craving and let it pass. Let us know ok?

Honey - Sorry to hear you're having such a struggle. The mental part of quitting alcohol is definitely the hardest. Our bodies can get over the "need" for it in a few days, but our brains take a whole lot longer! I STILL have thoughts now and then and today is day 99 for me. The important part is to realize that they are ONLY thoughts...no need to act on them or give them any power over us. You never have to drink again, even if you want to. Please keep trying. We only fail when we quit trying. I'm thinking of you and sending you strength :h

DesertLady - I think the tiredness last a couple weeks, your body is trying to recover...so be patient and rest when you can. Things will get better!

Well I took my doggie to the vet yesterday for her skin condition and it turns out her lungs are full of fluid. They want to do Xrays and skin cultures and a whole bunch of other things I can't afford. I thought she was breathing so hard because she's fat...but I guess she's technically "drowning"...and I don't know what to do. My first thought was "If I lose this dog I am going to get drunk for at least 3 days" :upset: I'm trying to be positive and just take one thing at a time. We got the fleas under control, and she's on antibiotics for her skin, so I guess I will deal with the rest as it comes. *sigh*

I guess that's it for today. I hope you're all well!

K9

[FlyAway]

Newbies Nest

Aww K9, I am so sorry to hear about your dog. You know that drinking if something happens to her will solve nothing and you'll still have to deal with your emotions once you sober up. Only there will be more emotions to deal with. :l