Newbies Nest

[Steady Hands]

Newbies Nest

Hi Willow

Good to hear you are staying positive. Hope you have a good day.
I was really surprised when I became sick of the wine - I mean, I drank "lightly"!!
The day I spent puking I thought what live would be like with liver failure... I can take pain, but nausea...

My slip confirmed that my body doesn't want that poison any more and that my sober life is what I prefer now. It is very quiet. My "friends" and family are apparently allergic to sobriety - but I rather have that than ever waking up with a bubble again! The sober friends will come...

Going back to bad habits are easy and what startled me was how it affects my THINKING!! Alkies can confince themselves of nonsense that wouldn't even occur to the sober person! And we live our lives according to our thinking.

I'm disgusted with my past ways and behavior. Feel like I have to clean up half my face book comments and consult an image buffer!

Sobriety will bring all of that. With time.

[SAUSAGE]

Newbies Nest

Willow/ SH
You were obviously both quite unwell after your latest "falls"
Did you drink very much wine? Ie was your body less able to cope with it after the AF break or were you drinking at the same levels as before you quit ? Would this amount have made you as ill before - if you get what I mean.
Just curious as to how our bodies adapt after a recovery stretch.
Glad you are both back with us.

[Steady Hands]

Newbies Nest

Hi Sausage

Yes, I definitely experienced a toxic effect with drinking a third less than what
I used to on a night.
I drank for 2 days then stopped to prove I can handle it. Even smoked! Beyond stupid!!! Then told myself it was the cigs that made me feel bad. The next week 2 days of moderate drinking without cigs feeling bad too...
Week 3 - drank one night after a very stressful day without having dinner. Woke up. In a blurry mess as sick as a dog!!

So, yes. Less wine and the body can't stand it. I used to think people who couldn't handle the hangovers were sissys! Now I know their bodies were cleaner.

But if you think about it... How do we start drinking? It is a slow introduction taking small sips from our mom or dad's glass. Then you start having your own small glass on a Sunday. Then one drink at a party.
From there on we all know! Point is, it is a slow intro to a poison. Anyone who never drank or has a cleaned out system will puke after a liter of wine.

Oh, God! It sounds so stupid! ( Just a litre...!!!???)

Happy sober day Nesters!

[Willow23]

Newbies Nest

I drank the same usual amount but I'm not normally sick like that so I guess yes, it was worse this time because I wasn't used to it.

Thanks guys. I know what did it - the kids were fighting in the lounge over - wait for it - a dustpan and brush. All the toys they have and they had to have that lol. I was so sick and tired off hearing them, I just stood in the kitchen and cried. Then DS hit DD over the head with the brush, she cried, I shouted, he cried and all three of us sat on the lounge floor crying! Sounds quite comical now but it so wasn't at the time. Then I just thought that I didn't care any more and went out and got some. I learned this morning it's full moon which always sends me a bit weird, so I shall be on my guard next month.

Some learning journey this!

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

yes, its definitely a journey! :-) For me, once I became aware that I was looking for reasons to drink, it became much easier..."DH pissed me off"...."that phone call from so-and-so" "stupid flat tire on the car"....I figured out that it wasn't these things triggering that desire, the crazy thought was already in my head and my brain was scheming WITH alcohol to figure out how to get me to drink...I was 'Looking" for that reason that justified my drinking...

steady - until those sober friends come? look around - you've got a ton, right here! :-)

Have a great weekend everyone!

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

Congrats to Belle!

Way to go Belle! Great work. And yes, sobriety is WORK! But the fringe benefits are well worth it. Lav, Stella looks like a supermodel, no shame in that portfolio Steady and Willow, great job on hopping back in the nest. Busy weekend for me- lots of Long Curch services. Trying to figure out what to cook for Easter dinner but it will not be fried chicken ( ms Stella) and I only buy my eggs from those free range chickens

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

And Lola and I were cross posting, but what she said. I have learned that too that many times I slipped I was just looking for an excuse. Those times are pretty easy to identify and learn to try to control if you have a good plan. The ones I still struggle with are the times it just hits out of the blue and some kind of alien force comes over and drives me to the store even though I know that's not what I want and pours the stuff down my throat while I cringe at the taste of it. What is going on? And it's not even a full moon when that happens. Can anyone help?

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters!

Changing your thinking & your habits are key to success here!
I always recommend the MWO Hypno CDs but if you don't have them then please look for an inexspensive version online (I've even seen them on eBay). We have to start thinking about AL as the poison it truly is & not a bandaid for life's BS that we have long thought it to be. AL does absolutely nothing to fix the problems or issues of everyday life.
Willow, when the kids misbehave instead of turning to AL, punish them. Send them to their room, give them a time out while you all cool down & regain your senses. Turning to AL solves no problem for any of us

Well, I have a busy day ahead with grandson's 1st BD party so I'll wish everyone a wonderful AF Saturday. Enjoy your day!

Lav

[Willow23]

Newbies Nest

Totally Lav, it didn't solve the problem and here I am feeling as rough as rats. AND paid ?10 for the "priviledge"!

Have a lovely day at your grandson's 1st birthday! I love first birthdays, they seem so much more special than other birthdays.

[Prairie Fairy]

Newbies Nest

lolab;1293188 wrote: yes, its definitely a journey! :-) For me, once I became aware that I was looking for reasons to drink, it became much easier....I figured out that it wasn't these things triggering that desire, the crazy thought was already in my head and my brain was scheming WITH alcohol to figure out how to get me to drink...I was 'Looking" for that reason that justified my drinking...

Have a great weekend everyone!

I get that Lola!!! I was sitting here PISSED at the SO at 1:30 am writing a rant on tha April Restart page rather than open up the red he had in his wine rack - he was sleeping what would he know?!

Except I would. So I wrote my rant. Took my emergency crave supplement bag out of my purse - and waited it out.

And when I read my rant this morning - I did laugh. That is clearly AL trying to convince you YOU MUST have a drink. LOL. Put a fork in his eye?! Rare form.

[Prairie Fairy]

Newbies Nest

Willow23;1293211 wrote: Totally Lav, it didn't solve the problem and here I am feeling as rough as rats. AND paid ?10 for the "priviledge"! .

You drank the good plonk! :-). At least given current exchange rates - I downgraded somewhat for a regular "get pissed" - getting MUCH better grade wines in boxes made more cost effective "get pissed" possible.

All joking aside - good on you for coming back. Like Sausage - I went away. Personally- at first I thought I could mod - and then when I realized I was not modding but getting worse - I just didn't come back. I couldn't do it. So - good for courage.

[Clockwatcher]

Newbies Nest

hope everyone is having safe holiday weekend,,,,been consoling myself, motivating myself with the phrase about, "its not how many times you fall down its how many times you get up".....so far thats working....enjoy the weekend, Happy Easter, Happy Passover

[Willow23]

Newbies Nest

Prairie Fairy;1293226 wrote: You drank the good plonk! :-). At least given current exchange rates - I downgraded somewhat for a regular "get pissed" - getting MUCH better grade wines in boxes made more cost effective "get pissed" possible.

All joking aside - good on you for coming back. Like Sausage - I went away. Personally- at first I thought I could mod - and then when I realized I was not modding but getting worse - I just didn't come back. I couldn't do it. So - good for courage.

I had two bottles at a fiver a bottle - so it wasn't that good! Lol!

I will be very glad to wake up tomorrow with a clearer head, I've been pretty much useless today!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening nesters,

Hope everyone had a good day, I did

Willow, I can almost feel your headache......hope you are drinking lots of water to get that poison out of your system asap! Tomorrow will be a better day

Hope everyone has a solid plan for success tomorrow. Please don't let a holiday throw you off course. You'll be much happier Monday morning if you remain AF this weekend, I promise!
Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!
Lav

[BelleGirl]

Newbies Nest

lolab;1293188 wrote: yes, its definitely a journey! :-) For me, once I became aware that I was looking for reasons to drink, it became much easier..."DH pissed me off"...."that phone call from so-and-so" "stupid flat tire on the car"....I figured out that it wasn't these things triggering that desire, the crazy thought was already in my head and my brain was scheming WITH alcohol to figure out how to get me to drink...I was 'Looking" for that reason that justified my drinking...

Lolab, you really called that one right! Reading your post and Willow's now I can see how I actually was happy when my kids misbehaved, as that gave be a "reason" to drink. Of course I deserved it...since I did not have any Calgon to "take me away"...drinking would definitely be required in those circumstances.

Of course, drinking never made things better. Just made me pass out on the couch or be a raving, yelling lunatic.

Glad you came right back, Willow. I know I have said it dozens of times here, but I swear my kids are better behaved with me not drinking.

Steady, glad you came back also. Sounds like you learned a lesson, and thank you for sharing it with all of us. Always have to be wary of that AL beast trying to take over again.

Looks like a lot of folks are having those weird full moon dreams. I had another last night. I dreamed that I drank on my day 99. It was something like either scotch or whiskey. I was so pissed, but then happy when I woke up. Later I was looking at the calendar and saw that my husband planned for us to go to a "Beer Fest" at a friend's house who makes a ton of great home brew. And yes, that is planned for my day 99. You can make damn sure I won't be drinking at that darn Beer Fest. Not gonna screw with my day 99...nope, no siree. So, I guess that "bad" dream had a great purpose. Like Byrdie said, maybe those dreams are for us to "go there, without really going there".

Hope you all have a safe and sober Saturday night in the nest.