Newbies Nest

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Hi Lifechange. The good news: I don't see you running away for huge chunks of time - You've been putting up a pretty solid effort since you came here. I also don't see you negotiating that maybe you really weren't as bad as you thought....So, I really do believe that you will do this. Every single one of us struggled like you are - I was doing the same thing you are - last summer. But I wasn't as consistent about coming back.

the bad news: (and it's not THAT bad!) It's HARD! I have to really think hard - concentrate - to remember what it was like in the beginning....the awful obsession with drinking....feeling that I HAD to buy alcohol...right now. Telling myself that THIS bottle, would last.....wouldn't it be nice to have a bottle around just to have a little here and there? But then pouring some immediately when I got in the door....and it DIDN'T last....and the cycle continued. That first week is all about breaking that cycle. It's hard but you have to do a complete 180 when you're getting obsessed - and LOOK at something else....PICK UP something else....THINK about something else....and keep doing that - it's exhausting in the beginning but you know it doesn't stay that hard. Slowly you start having little moments when you're not thinking about alcohol...and slowly those moments become longer and longer and more and more frequent.

Make sure your plan includes a RIDICULOUS amount of distractions and things to do in those first few days - just to make it through. You've said a few times that you can't seem to get past 2 or 3 days lately....Hang tough! By Monday you'll be there!

[patricia]

Newbies Nest

Hi everybody

Wow! A lot of posts since yesterday and interesting at that! Well done Nursie on 7 days and yes LillyE - I've made it on to day 10 (9 evenings AF) which is what I did in one stint in January so onwards and upwards!! Beginning to feel a lot better, particularly in mornings but sleep still cr*p. Been harping on about running so have made up my mind to start again tomorrow. A lot of these posts seem to be heading towards the end of the day so I guess most are in another time zone - here is is 13.03 and bright and sunny. Weekend, here I come . . . . . . Success and peace to you all Px

9 days AF

[SAUSAGE]

Newbies Nest

Lilly - Glad you found that thread OK. - I was wrong about the "friday eve" bit - I just reinterpreted it as that when I read it, hope you found it useful. For everyone else, Lilly has managed to quote this " do you deserve a drink" post from work in Progress a few posts back . Wish I knew how to attach links here, bit I don't. I think where the fri night confusion lay was Work in Progress ,( who doesn't seem to post / use MWO any more, but who was a huge help to me in my 2008/09 sobriety stretch,) sent me a personal message at the time, relating this to Friday nights, which is when I used to particularly struggle.

How to get through the early AF days / weeks.
I'm on day 57 now and it is getting easier but the first week or two was really hard.
Try changing your routine, reading on here at vulnerable times, try exercise, nice alternative drinks. Take up new hobbies/ activities.Watch the you tube documentaries about alcoholism "rain in your heart" there are 10, at times when you really want to drink. Consider reading the Jason Vale book on quitting booze. Re read your original posts, or those of someone who has just relapsed - anything to keep you going for the first 10 days or so. Anthing that is worth having is tough, and expect it to be hard to begin with, however after 10 days or a couple of weeks it does get easier because;

You are out of the routine of drinking every day
You should start to be seeing some physical benefits even if it is only not waking up with a raging hangover.
You have "done" every day of the week AF - you were AF last week too on this day and that makes a huge psychological difference.
You start to see AF days add up like a string of pearls and you don't want to lose your AF run of days and go back to square one, and so this is a huge incentive in itself.


Hope this is of some help, back later.

[patricia]

Newbies Nest

Hi (again) - I like this, particularly the last para . . . . . particularly the penultimate sentence of the last paragraph x x

[KittyKatLost]

Newbies Nest

Hello Everyone
Why doesnt this guilt and shame of what I have done in the past go away, it makes me even more tired from the AL withdrawls themselves, I am on Day 7 and its been a nightmare. I consulted with my doctor he said such feelings should have been gone after 3 days. Here I am miserable and feeling terrible.. Can anyone reccomend something over the counter or do I need to go to the Doctors. I have been on anti depressants before they never did a thing! At 37 years iold here I am lonenly, craving AL so bad, thought I could be strong and do this. Theres my pity party story.. Thanks for the help everyone

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

Hi all,

Well, here I am back from a night out at the pub and completely sober! A few challenging moments. Like when my friend bought a bottle of wine to dinner before and started automatically pouring me a glass - and white wine is my drink of choice - but mostly it was ok. And I had a lot of fun. And I feel good now - having drunk probably a liter of water instead!

Nursie - well do on a week and looking forward to a sober weekend! Why did you just 'get through' weekends before when you were drinking? Just meaning that for drinkers weekends usually mean more time to drink? Or do you mean the excessive drinking made weekends painful. Just curious.

Patricia - well done you too! You are doing GREAT! And it's a great feeling to beat your longest stretch so onward and upward indeed.

Yep, different time zone and climate over here... down under.

Oh Kitty Kat lost, not that much to say but *hugs*. What does your doctor mean? The withdrawal should have gone by now? I'm no doctor but I'm sure in some people it can take longer than that. Give yourself time, be kind to yourself, read here as much as you can. It's normal to feel depressed post drinking but it WILL ease. Give it time. ODAT.

Lilly x

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Kitty....I just can't pass up this opportunity to say that I think your doctor is a boob!! In 3 days time the AL is JUST leaving your bloodstream! NOT to mention you are still in the habit of coming home everyday and drinking (or whatever your habit is). This is absolute bullcrap! My opinion is that nobody gets to tell me what to do unless they have been in the shoes, or have at least, worked extensively with those who have. Even then, I don't think they are qualified. This addicted brain thinks differently than someone else's. My husband has NO idea of the thoughts I had, about the obsession to get the next drink...about the constant aggitation in my head about getting my fix. He has no understanding of how hard it was to quit. He didn't understand why I just didn't stop drinking!!! That, my friend, IS THE RUB!! Why couldn't I stop?? So it infuriates me to think there are drs out there telling people to 'get over it' after 3 days. You have 7 big days in and that is great...but you are still going to have the guilt/shame/remorse because that is a short period of time and you are still healing. I think that after about 13 days, you will have a change of thinking, and your outlook will become brigther and increasingly hopeful! After 30 days, the world is going to be your oyster. We can not do anything about what we've done in the past...trust me, every single one of us would if we could. But what we see ahead is pretty great. We can CHANGE the outcome! You hang in with us, your thoughts will get more and more positve and clear....you will feel fantastic, I promise. Look ahead, Kitty...there's nothing in the past to go back to....full steam ahead! MindPeace!! Byrdie

[Honeysoup]

Newbies Nest

Once again I made it over the 13 day hump...it's now day 14, but let me tell ya...yesterday sucked! I almost caved...I pulled into CVS thinking I had a great day I just want to relax with my nice cold glass of Chardonnay. Oh wait...I can't...why can't I? God this sucks! So I called my husband and he didn't help...just made me madder...

I just kept to my self...and turned on "Celebrity Rehab" with Dr. Drew. It helps some days and it's entertaining. I was edgy all night...Then I called my mom back and had a nice talk with her and cried myself to sleep.

But everyone was right! I woke up with no hangover and one more day down. This is one of the hardest things I have ever done...I hate the fact that I will have to stuggle with this the rest of my life..what a downer.

Kitty - I feel your pain...hang in there...every day is a new day and brings you closer to the next. Hang in there...this thread is so helpful.

LillyE - Well done!

Sausange, Byrdie, K9 and others...thank you so much for your support.

Best wishes for today and I will be back on later...Have a great day!

Sausage

[KittyKatLost]

Newbies Nest

I just want to pick up that drink and make all this pain go away. I just cannot. I have been off and on with my doctor through the whole 7 days. I think he just thinks I am another patient, Hello I am 37 years old and have been drinking the hard stuff everyday for years. Now it supposed to be all gone with it within 3 days, he told me excersice and wants me on more anti depressants. I told him I drank while taking them and he still said that they should have worked, when I stayed sober for almost 2 months and took them, they did not do anything.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

KKL, sorry to hop all over your posts, but anti depressants strike a nerve with me. It's a very long story and some night when you can't sleep, call me and I will explain it, but the combo of Cymbalta and AL nearly put me in an early grave. I took Cymbalta after hurricane Katrina...I couldn't lift myself out of that funk of what happened after that. For months I ruminated about it. So after 5 years, my bloodwork started coming back with too much iron in my blood and my liver readings high. I went off Cymbalta (do NOT go cold turkey off this drug) and since I came off it 11/10, I quit drinking 1/11...today all my blood work is normal, I'm off 3 blood pressure meds, my mood is fantastic and my eye sight improved 5 ticks!! WTH? I think that if you can get yourself AF....then lose the AD....you will be amazed at how good you feel. After a few weeks off Cymbalta, I felt like Dorothy on The Wizard of Oz going from black and white into a color world. Cymbalta numbed me out and drinking put the dirt on top. If I write a book I'm going to call it Numb and Numb-er (nummer)! The highs weren't high and the lows weren't low....I just was a zombie. The fewer meds I take the better I feel! I would urge you to take fewer meds before taking more! In fact, I was going to ask my dr to give me that Abilify to ADD to the Cymbalta to see if that would help! Once you get down in that pit it's hard to know where to start to climb out, but give it a try, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain! The AL is dragging you into this pit more than anything else!!! It's the alcohol!!! Sorry, learned this one THE HARD WAY! (as usual) B

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Hi All!

Nursie - I am so proud of you for ordering that virgin "skinny bitch" LOL...I don't even know the names of the "fancy" drinks...I was strictly a Bud Light gal (pretty boring eh?) Keep up your good work! And can you come and mow my lawn too? LOL

It is a beautiful day here and I am stuck inside. I have a mandatory Customer Service training this afternoon. I guess I have to go learn how NOT to tell people to "F*ck off". LOL j/k

Nothing planned this weekend, maybe some housework, maybe not! Maybe some thrift store shopping. My daughter is spending the night at a friends tonight, then she has dance rehearsals all day tomorrow and then Sunday she's going to the local Festival/Fair to ride their rickety rides (I don't trust rides that you can fold up and put on a truck)...so she'll be busy! Maybe I will organize my garage....but just thinking about it makes me tired!

Byrdie, Kitty, Honey, Lilly, Patrica, Lolab, Sausage and everyone else that stops in...have a GREAT sober weekend, stay strong and don't let the Beast in...he's a bastard...we all deserve better!

K9

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

KKl, Byrdie makes so much sense...I hope you're able to give it a try...:l

Honeysoup, "I hate the fact that I will have to struggle with this the rest of my life..what a downer."
Please don't think that it's going to stay this difficult. If it did, there's no way any of us could have survived getting and staying sober....

At this point- for me, and for awhile now - I don't feel like it's a huge continuous struggle at all. yes, I have my moments - but for the most part I am on an AF high. I struggled WAY more with life in general - when I was drinking. Drinking and planning your drinking and worrying about your drinking and recovering from your drinking is so much more of a struggle than living life without it! You'll be surprised....you WILL get past the initial toughness - and slowly things will start to get easier and easier - and one day you'll realize that you haven't even thought about drinking the entire day. We all have to remain on our toes for the rest of our life but it's been "half a year" for me - that's a drop in the bucket as far as time put in - and already I don't "struggle" to stay sober anymore. It was well worth the couple weeks of really tough times - the month or so of kinda rough times and couple of months of kinda going through the motions of being sober - not really knowing where it would lead. It led here....and it's amazing. :h

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good afternoon Nesters

I'm posting this link for KittyKat & hope all newbies take a look:
Post-Acute Withdrawal Symptoms - Relapse Prevention Strategies

I am a retired RN (still licensed) & I'll be the first one to tell you ~ most doctors know absolutely nothing about addictions/recovery & also nutrition of all damn things
They spend no time in med school studying in these areas let alone getting any decent clinical practice. They learn to tell a person with an AL problem to go to AA. They learn to write an order for a nutritional consult with a dietician for their inpatients (diabetics, cardiacs, etc.) And they learn to write an Rx for just about anything you say/think you want.

We really need to take charge of our lives & our recoveries.
ADs aren't always needed - try some meditation. I did & it worked great with absolutely no side effects

[SAUSAGE]

Newbies Nest

Following on from Lav's post above I would just like to add - please remember Mr Sausage is a medical doctor and it was him who suggested on my day 45 AF that I had (just one!) alcoholic drink with him to celebrate the end of Lent ( see my thread on Need help ASAP which I posted nearly 2 weeks ago)!!!

Needless to say I didn't follow his advice!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Sausage,
Please don't be offended by my post (I don't think you are). Doctors here in the US only get so much training & I just know, after a 27 year career working with them these are weak areas for them. I know nothing about the training doctors receive in Scotland, the UK, etc.
But if your husband did indeed recommend the 'just one drink' routine then I would say is is clueless as well :H :H
Glad you did not listen to him!!