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    Newbies Nest

    I wasn't offended Lav, he has no idea at all. He thinks I should just have the occasional drink on birthdays, holidays etcl he hasn't a clue about alcoholism!

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      Newbies Nest

      Yes Byrd, I will call, I hate feeling this way and talking to people. Now I can type and think for minutes on what too say.. I feel like a total mess, after finally getting through too my doctor, which has known about my alchol problem for years, he says since ive quit its time to up my dosage of anti depressants and put me on some sort of anti anxiety med, wow just wondering what this is all going to cost me! Alot more than the cheap whiskey I was drinking i think? He said 3 days was sufficeint enough enough for my alcohol withdrawls to go away, and then my latest call back he suggested a detox center and besides having his nurse tell me my dosages were being upped, i dont know yet how much, I see no sense, they never worked for me, just more work for my liver.

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        Newbies Nest

        Byrdlady;1300595 wrote: and since I came off it 11/10, I quit drinking 1/11...today all my blood work is normal, I'm off 3 blood pressure meds, my mood is fantastic and my eye sight improved 5 ticks!! B
        Byrd - WOW - that's interesting! I started on zoloft because I was having severe social anxiety. It took all that away, but yet, I am somewhat a Zombie. I don't have any highs or lows except when I drink. I was drinking before Zoloft but not every day and certainly not nearly as much.

        I've wanted to quit drinking and slowly get off the med... scared to get off the med as they say it could make a person have suicidal thoughts or crazy thoughts. I've already missed a couple of days (not taking the zoloft) many a times and felt like my head was going to explode (it felt like air was being pumped into my brain). I like missing days because it makes me feel better (more alert, more energy) until the air starts to get pumped in.

        Renee
        I will be sober so I can be clear and remember being a mommy and so I can be in the best place God wants to place me. I will be here! now! FREE! 12.5mg Topamax AM&PM, Ativan until safe from withdrawal syndrome & for anxiety. Thank God I Am Done!

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          Newbies Nest

          Rainyday, I think a lot of us have had experience coming off of ADs
          Doing a slow wean over two weeks or more is safe. Talk to your Doc's office, they should be able to lay out a schedule for you

          I'm probably going to start painting my living room tomorrow - wish me luck
          Rain predicted all weekend so I figure - why not?

          Wishing everyone a safe AF night in the Nest!
          Lav
          AF since 03/26/09
          NF since 05/19/09
          Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

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            Newbies Nest

            Byrdlady;1300595 wrote: KKL, sorry to hop all over your posts, but anti depressants strike a nerve with me. It's a very long story and some night when you can't sleep, call me and I will explain it, but the combo of Cymbalta and AL nearly put me in an early grave. I took Cymbalta after hurricane Katrina...I couldn't lift myself out of that funk of what happened after that. For months I ruminated about it. So after 5 years, my bloodwork started coming back with too much iron in my blood and my liver readings high. I went off Cymbalta (do NOT go cold turkey off this drug) and since I came off it 11/10, I quit drinking 1/11...today all my blood work is normal, I'm off 3 blood pressure meds, my mood is fantastic and my eye sight improved 5 ticks!! WTH? I think that if you can get yourself AF....then lose the AD....you will be amazed at how good you feel. After a few weeks off Cymbalta, I felt like Dorothy on The Wizard of Oz going from black and white into a color world. Cymbalta numbed me out and drinking put the dirt on top. If I write a book I'm going to call it Numb and Numb-er (nummer)! The highs weren't high and the lows weren't low....I just was a zombie. The fewer meds I take the better I feel! I would urge you to take fewer meds before taking more! In fact, I was going to ask my dr to give me that Abilify to ADD to the Cymbalta to see if that would help! Once you get down in that pit it's hard to know where to start to climb out, but give it a try, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain! The AL is dragging you into this pit more than anything else!!! It's the alcohol!!! Sorry, learned this one THE HARD WAY! (as usual) B
            Sigh, unfortunately going AF did not change things this dramatically for me. I think I actually DO need some kind of AD, because I am SICK of feeling depressed and angry every day. I say today I won't lose it, I won't argue and get crazy again, and I do. I know my hormones must be WAY out of whack, and at the moment I'm unable to afford the doctor OR the meds.:upset:

            My bf actually said, if this keeps up, you're going to have to start drinking again. He WASN'T serious, but this shit is getting old.


            "I like people too much or not at all."
            Sylvia Plath

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              Newbies Nest

              Honeysoup - Yay for you for resisting the temptation and discovering you can make it through to the other side and it's better in the morning. Imagine how you would have felt this morning if you'd caved? And it wouldn't have been a glass, right? How much would it really have been? How bad would you feel today?

              A couple other things jumped out at me from your post.. firstly you said the day sucked. But then you said you wanted a drink as you'd had a great day. Sooo... the only thing that made the day suck was fighting the alcohol craving. Just think how great it will be to have a great day AND be free of that. And I reckon you will be if you just keep going. I don't believe that we will necessarily have to 'struggle with this for the rest of our lives'. I mean, I certainly know what you mean when you say that and I've had those thoughts too but reading the posts of some of the successful long-term non drinkers on this site it's clear they no longer struggle and are just really happy to be free. But we have to push through to the other side to get there. And that's gonna take time. And work.

              Just read more posts - what Lolab said sums up what I was getting at beautifully! Thanks for posting that - I found it really inspiring. And YAY you on six months and on being on an AF high and happy with it! That's where I want to be!!

              So hugs and congrats 'cause today you are one step closer instead of the two steps back you would have been if you'd had that "one" drink.

              KittyKatLost - I agree with Byrdlady, your doctor is a moron who knows nothing about alcoholism. Can you get a new doctor? And preferably a referral to an addictions counsellor? Is rehab an option for you hon? Sounds like you may be at a place where you really need it.

              Also, antidepressants take awhile to work AND if you'd been drinking hardcore it would take awhile for those effects to level out. So suggesting it all should have been fixed and the ADs should have worked in two months is also moronic. Plus, maybe you weren't on the right mix for you. People often need to try various antidepressants and doses before they find what works for them. The only helpful thing he's said is exercise and any of us could have told you that. You REALLY need to ditch him hon and get a new doctor.

              Wishing a happy healthy sober weekend to you all. I have more booze challenges ahead today - birthday lunch at a pub - and tomorrow - book club at a bar - so I'll be dropping in here, hopefully to crow about how I *didn't* drink.

              ODAT - I WILL make it through this weekend booze free and clear headed.

              Lilly x

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                Newbies Nest

                Rain in my Heart

                Also, who mentioned this? Thank you. I watched some of it last night - sobering and eye opening. I recommend it for anyone who needs a jolt

                Rain In My Heart Full Documentary

                KittyKatLost - please go view. I suspect you might need to see something like this right now to scare you a little into why what you're trying to do is so worthwhile. With all due respect :h

                The only problem with things like this is I think it can make people like me think "Oh, well maybe I'm not really an alcoholic then as I'm not *that* bad. I've never drunk a bottle of vodka a day etc" But it's still a sharp and scary look at the damage alcohol can inflict on the body.

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                  Newbies Nest

                  it was so nice to wake up this morning with a clear head. i had a strong resolve yesterday so i knew i'd be sitting here enjoying a yummy cup of coffee catching up on all of missed here this a.m.
                  Lolab, you helped me get into a more positive frame of mind yesterday. thanks for your kind words.
                  i started writing in a journal yesterday. i'm writing "my story" in dreadful detail for myself, to have a clear picture of what alcohol has actually done to my life. and though i feel quite positive now, i'm ready to implement the fast forwarding past the lure of the first drink method Nursie did so well the other day. i'm also once more getitng in touch with what my triggers are and how i can deal with those situations without the "crutch" of al. i don't want to drink and i don't at this point feel like i'm missing out on anything. i've had enough and that's why i'm so surprised that i can fall into the same hole again and again and again. i need to walk on the other side of the street.

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                    Newbies Nest

                    one more thing. i've also made staying sober my number one priority. nothing else is as important. and i've decided to let other matters sit on the back burner for awhile. i don't think i've done that before. i've always become a bit impatient and irritated that i have to give so much energy to not drinking. but the amount of energy i've given to drinking is incredible and of course i put EVERYTHING on hold for that.
                    as long as it has to be, all of my energy will go into not drinking.

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                      Newbies Nest

                      Morning all, Such powerful posts especially LolaB and nursie. Again I found information really helpful especially stuff on headaches and weight not to mention pure common sense stff. Thank you everybody. Px
                      Short term goal 7 days AF

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                        Newbies Nest

                        Forgot to add now had ten days AF
                        Short term goal 7 days AF

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                          Newbies Nest

                          Great Day in the Morning Nesters!

                          Sorry haven't made it by in awhile. Still adjusting to the new work schedule I suppose, but I do need to do better staying in touch - I will try.

                          Have strung together 26 great days now; best I have done since my run of 4 months late last summer. Feeling pretty good, working out nearly everyday, and trying to get the hypnotherapy in whenever I can. I recorded the subliminal CD onto my work computer, as much of what I do is on my own. So I can stick on the headphones and work away! A co-worker asked me what i was listening to the other day..."Oh, just the ocean", I said. "Kinda like white noise - it helps me focus." Of course, they just rolled their eyes and went back to listening to their music.

                          The need to be constantly vigilant is paramount. I need to get whatever reinforcement I can as often as possible. If my wife says the arms are looking good from hitting the gym, that keeps me going. When I spring out of bed at 5 AM to head for the gym without headaches and nausea - that's a good thing. When I can organize my workday and be productive, I feel a sense of accomplishment.

                          All little things in themselves, but they have a cumulative affect. I haven't lit up a cigar in over a week now, so that is also adding to the general sense of well being. I am leaning on the low-dose nicotine gum, but have been able to keep that to 5 or 6 pieces a day. Next week, I will try and keep it to 3 or 4 per day.

                          Sleep is still improving, woke up at 3:30 AM the past couple days and was unable to fall back asleep, but I know that will smooth itself out soon.

                          Looking forward to a nice relaxing weekend...

                          Stay strong Nesters; it IS worth it!
                          -Cap'n G

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                            Newbies Nest

                            lolab;1300688 wrote: Please don't think that it's going to stay this difficult. If it did, there's no way any of us could have survived getting and staying sober....

                            At this point- for me, and for awhile now - I don't feel like it's a huge continuous struggle at all. yes, I have my moments - but for the most part I am on an AF high. I struggled WAY more with life in general - when I was drinking. Drinking and planning your drinking and worrying about your drinking and recovering from your drinking is so much more of a struggle than living life without it! You'll be surprised....you WILL get past the initial toughness - and slowly things will start to get easier and easier - and one day you'll realize that you haven't even thought about drinking the entire day. We all have to remain on our toes for the rest of our life but it's been "half a year" for me - that's a drop in the bucket as far as time put in - and already I don't "struggle" to stay sober anymore. It was well worth the couple weeks of really tough times - the month or so of kinda rough times and couple of months of kinda going through the motions of being sober - not really knowing where it would lead. It led here....and it's amazing. :h
                            Thanks for this post Lolab! It was a great way to start my day. :thanks::h

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                              Newbies Nest

                              Good morning All. Feeling ok this morning. Haven't drank since Tuesday, I think. I can't remember if it was Monday or Tues.

                              Got a full day ahead. Working the flea market all day. Hope everyone has a great Sat.


                              "I like people too much or not at all."
                              Sylvia Plath

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                                Newbies Nest

                                Good Saturday morning Nesters!

                                Great to wake up bright & cheerful, ready to get a huge list of chores done today.
                                Looks like a very wet & windy Sunday is on the way so I'll park myself on the sofa in front of Lifetime TV tomorrow :H

                                Glad to see everyone checking in & taking charge of their lives
                                Have a great AF Saturday!

                                Lav
                                AF since 03/26/09
                                NF since 05/19/09
                                Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

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