Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

K9! I am so proud of your record BUSTING 120 Days!! Woot-Woot!!!! :happy: All I know to say is, here's to 120 more! Happy for you!!!!!! t

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Byrdie! I blew right through it! Now...to infinity and beyond! LOL (It seems like I was just panicking over making it through the 40 day mark....wow)

LG - I responded to your post on Broken Halo's thread...our stories are pretty similar. Isn't it weird to actually accomplish something in the MORNING? LOL That one took me a while! I also notice that I get a lot done at lunchtime too, I go home and throw in laundry, unload the dishwasher, even change sheets! In my dark (drinking) days I had to go lay on the couch so I could make it through the afternoon. Wow, still can't believe I existed like that (I say existed because it wasn't really living!) I refuse to go to the dentist...it's like taking your car in, they'll ALWAYS find something wrong. I figure if I'm not in pain I'm OK! HA

Hope everyone is having a great day!

[BelleGirl]

Newbies Nest

K9, Congrats on 120 days! I know this is a big one for you, so be very proud of yourself. Keep it going...

I so know what you mean about not being able to believe you existed "like that". I almost look back at my drinking days like it was another person doing that. I am getting so much done now and don't have to take a nap every single day...(though I do sneak one in once in a while as a guilty pleasure...not because I can't function).

I bet your daughter must be really proud of you. Keep up the good...GREAT work!

[SAUSAGE]

Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters

Late check in from me as I've had a long day at work.

First a huge congrats to k9 on your 120 days. I know this is new territory for you and you must be deservedly very proud.

Thanks everyone for all the congratulatory messages on my 60 days yesterday. It means a lot, without the support on here I know I'd barely string a few AF days together. I've posted an update on my thoughts at 60 days on the my story section.

Belle you mentioned you'd been on a Dale Carnegie course, was it helpful? I am trying to follow the advice in his excellent book "How to stop worrying and start living" including about living in day tight compartments. Think I'll post something about that book in the reading section as I think it's fantastic and others may find it useful too.

Must go, need to get something to eat (or I'll get AL cravings)

See you all later

[Pinecone]

Newbies Nest

K9 and Bellegirl, congratulations to you both! You gals are champs in my book.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

K9 - I was in such a rush this morning I forgot to say -

:yougo::yougo: CONGRATS ON 120 AF DAYS:yougo::yougo:

Hope everyone is having a great day!!!

[KittyKatLost]

Newbies Nest

Thanks K9, and really fantastic on those 120 days.
You are totally right I need to work on myself, I ve done enough drunk texts to people who were suppose to be there for me that they never forgave me.. Still I am cocentrating on myself..... your right. The doc wanted to put me on more ativan today, but I heard the road to benzos can be not so nice...since I am still felling like s***, today he was like "you still have not gotten past your cravings" its been well over those 3 days" I called and asked to speak directly to him, what a waste...feeling frustrated...
As someone put it on here you have to fight for this sobrierty. One Day At A Time is what ive learned that has got me thru these times even tho no where close to what some people have conquered. Thanks for all your help everyone...

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

Ronnie, I'd missed you're a fellow down underer - happy Anzac Day. Hope you have a nice one off with your kids. Me, I'm working, but that's ok because I'm about to go overseas for a month.

K9 whoo WHOO WHOO Go you! Well DONE on your 120 days. That's totally awesome girl.

Honeysoup - Awh, that's lovely re your MIL. How nice. Any special reason today or just generally encouraging you?

K9 and KittyKat - here's to the approaching 40 and single ladies mini club on this list. Anyone else? (Well, I'm 37 so not quite ready to talk about 40 but it's coming up

I actually have an internet dating date for lunch today but for the most part I'm not really thinking about all that right now. I ended a really stupid and unrewarding long (almost two years) on-of-on-off (more off than on) thing recently, which I don't think I would have put up with had I not been being so self destructive and down on myself in so many other ways. When we're a mess inside we're so much more likely to attract people who reflect those self beliefs.

One thing I've done with my therapist lately is looking at what are my strongest values and what values I'd require in a partner - her theory is the more you are aware of your values and living your life by them daily the more easily you will recongise someone who shares them. None of that sort of work can be done drunk.

So, KK, Get you to a therapist honey - preferably one who specialises in addiction counseling. It won't be the total solution but it WILL help. For me, I've realised that just the very act of rocking up to my therapist fortnightly sends a signal to myself that I'm trying to grow and develop and look after myself and that's really vital right now. Also, GET A NEW DOCTOR - seriously, your doctor sounds like an idiot. Can you do that?

LibraryGirl, ouch, my sympathy on the dentist. I have major dental anxiety. Went yesterday for the first time in over two years and, you know what, it wasn't as bad as I'd feared and I was so glad to have it done! Good luck!

On a random note, I had a thought last night re deprivation vs gratitude thinking, that even some of the language we use, myself included, is more the former. THing like 'managed 30 days' etc. That should be 'accomplished, achieved, celebrating' 30 days. I'm going to work on that actively.

I'm still unsure what Thailand will bring but I am really really really trying to strengthen my resolve. I have been reading old journals and books again. I think I feel a real shift in *wanting* to quit, not just feeling I should, but I don't know how I'll cope when temptation is so thrust in my face. I've had a few nights out here lately at bars/pubs and stuck to soda/lime pretty easily. But at a luxury resort big party weekend with champagne and cocktails flowing around and so associated with celebration/glamour? Hmm.

Right. Gotta get to work. Happy sober day/night all.

Lilly x

[KittyKatLost]

Newbies Nest

I know it your so right, I need to get a new doctor, everytime I call or go in, I feel I am just another patient, my insurance covers for 20 minutes and he makes sure it lasts that long! its frustrating, then i get charged everytime I need to speak to him.. So I have been leaving messages on the nurses line.. there not the greatest of help either..I been going to him for years.. Now I guess he thinks Ativan is the magic pill to cure my cravings... it has done nothing to even somewhat subside , but It does come with time too, I been reading all these posts at night. I cant wait until this fog clears my head!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

KittyKat, Lilly sounds like she's gotten a lot of help from her therapist. They do & will take the time to really listen to you & not pick up an Rx pad!!! Doc are quick to medicate you & move on the their next patient. I hope you can arrange to talk to someone trained in addictions

Happy to say I got lots done today thanks to blue skies, sunshine & a clear head!
Keep going everyone - you'll get there too

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!
Lav

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

Yes, I will reiterate though that, as much as I like my therapist in other ways, she's not actually that good at helping me with the drinking stuff. I really don't think she 'gets' alcoholism or she thinks I don't have a real problem because I am functional. She has said things like "most people don't make a choice to be abstinent unless they've hit rock bottom" and said I should just moderate - even though I've been pretty open about my drinking and concerns. When I went to her - from a friend's recommendation - I thought my primary thing was anxiety, which she is great with - I hadn't yet realised that was probably an outcome of the drinking.

Sooo... what I'm saying is, in hindsight I would now specifically look for a therapist with experience in treating alcoholics. I really do encourage you to give it a go. You might also have to try a few before you find one you click with and that's ok. It's ok to interview them because you're hiring them for a job essentially and need to make sure you've found the right match.

Just my two cents.

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

Well, Kitty Kat, here's a reason not to date until you've got your sobriety sorted...

My lunch date was quite nice, interesting and attractive - well as far as one can tell these things from meeting someone for a couple hours for the first time. And he wants to take me out to dinner Saturday night, which is nice, but of course my first thought was OMG, how can I *not* drink on a date. NO idea if he's a big drinker but he did mention in passing liking to buy a lot of wine online on the grey market, so presumably he likes a wine. And let's face it, even people who aren't big drinkers tend to drink more on first dinner dates.

Now, in theory I could of course have one or two with dinner but I know chances are I probably wouldn't. I'd be likely - especially after a break - to have two, want six, get drunk, possibly end up shagging him and regretting it in the morning. (Sorry if this is TMI peeps but I'm working through it in my head here.) There's a chance that all might not happen and I could - especially if eating - limit myself to half a bottle buuutttt... I can't trust myself. Or I wouldn't be here.

The idea of a dinner date sans booze also still fills me with terror.

Anyone here dealt with this stuff and, if so, how did you handle it?

Lilly x

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

good morning!
i just wrote a long post and it was erased!! i have to learn how to use this computer better.

BIG CONGRATS to K9, Belle and Sausage on your accomplishments! you are all so inspiring to me and i always look forwrd to reading your posts. keep on keeping on!!
Lilly and KKL i also always read your posts and appreciate so much that you share. i'm don't have any great answers or a lot of experience with being sober so it's not possible for me to help, but i'm glad you're both here and searching for your way.

i got over my fear of going to an aa meeting in my old neighborhood where i lived, had a restaurant and raised my kids for 7 years. my kids still live there with their dad part time and i still work in the hood and i was scared to death of going to the meeting and seeing a bunch of people that i know. the english speaking community is growing here but it's still contained, and there aren't many meetings in english. anyway, i did it and of course it was great and i didn't know anyone. wouldn't have mattered it i had. i had to get past caring to get myself into the room. i won't do the whole program (i don't think) but it's nice to have the extra support once or twice a week.

xo to you all on this lovely wednesday.

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

lifechange;1303892 wrote:
i got over my fear of going to an aa meeting in my old neighborhood where i lived, had a restaurant and raised my kids for 7 years. my kids still live there with their dad part time and i still work in the hood and i was scared to death of going to the meeting and seeing a bunch of people that i know. the english speaking community is growing here but it's still contained, and there aren't many meetings in english. anyway, i did it and of course it was great and i didn't know anyone. wouldn't have mattered it i had. i had to get past caring to get myself into the room. i won't do the whole program (i don't think) but it's nice to have the extra support once or twice a week.

xo to you all on this lovely wednesday.

Well DONE on going to your first AA meeting Lifechange. That is a big deal. Hard and scary. I have only got so far as finding out where ones are near me and once walking around the block near one but it looked like it wasn't on - or at any rate I couldn't see people - so I ran away back home. Good to hear it was a positive experience. :goodjob:

I also can't quite get on board with the whole AA thing for a bunch of reasons but I think it'd be good if for no other reason than to meet people on the same journey IRL as well as here online. I have plenty of supportive friends but it's hard to truly open up to people who aren't in the same place with drinking.

Out of curiosity, where are you that the English speaking community is so small? Sorry if you've said and I've forgotten.

Lilly

[ronnie]

Newbies Nest

Hi all,
Just a quick check in
K9 congrats to you honey, you are doing really well & thanks for your suport.
Well i got through last night it was a struggle but i did it so i am really pleased with myself. Today has been good although the boys were too busy playing on thier xbox again to want to do anything else so i just done a bit of housework.
All my boys go back to school tomorrow so it will be nice to get back to normal minus the booze of course. . Lol
Well i hope you all have a lovely day/evening
Stay strong xxx