Newbies Nest

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

You all crazy In a good way. Heh.

Library Girl, oooohhh you have my sympathies. I hate dental work so much - it's such an awful way to spend money. I had been going to say that my understanding was that removing teeth can cause other issues but I didn't know how, but fortunately we had an ex professional on hand to explain it Gee, I wonder what other skill sets we have collected here.

So, yeah, I'd say keep it if you possibly can. But, geeze, I know I'd be tempted to just have it pulled to avoid a root canal and save the $. I have one that I know is gonna need that one day - they've been telling me so for years - and I live in fear.

Then again, I had another friend have two root canals lately and say it really wasn't that bad at all so maybe it all depends on the state of your teeth and the skill of the dentist? Me, I'd always pay extra for gas, and preferably valium too, such is my fear of it all.

Good luck!!

Lilly

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

good morning all!!
finally yesterday i got what lots of people are saying about being tired!! i ended up in bed at 9 and this morning i feel as if i've been hit by a truck. after 2 cups of coffee i'm starting to feel normal. yesterday i also started an insane (stemming from jealousy) argument with my boyfriend. from the outside looking in one would have thought i was three sheets to the wind, out of my mind drunk. it was soooo stupid. he forgave me and said he'd already forgotten. i've tried to keep him super up to date on what i'm dealing with and feeling-- but i have to be careful.
Library Girl--that really sucks. is it possible to pay in some sort of installments? or am i in lala land? i once asked my dentist for that and they let me pay it off in 6 months.? or is there someone who can lend you the cash? i would agree to try and save the tooth if you can. i've heard the same as what Byrdie said. it is so lame, though.

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

i also can't wait to hear about the date, Lilly!!
and Finally Done, i hope the weather cooperates with you. i'm hoping for the same here. we're expecting warmth and blue skies. a mocking bird mama is sitting in the nest she and her man have been working on for the past month. we live on the 5th floor and there's a huge tree in the courtyard that just sprouted it's baby green leaves. we were so lucky to be able to witness the efforts of those birds building their sweet nest.
will be checking in later tonight to see how you all are.
Lav, i chose to be sober with you yesterday and today i'm choosing the same. come hell or high waters!!

[KittyKatLost]

Newbies Nest

Hello all, I was busy helping a friend move and wow did i sweat, must be all the AL coming out and I mean there was sweat everywhere... Now here I am at at 2 45 am in the morning, cannot sleep but did mange to get some sleep aftering helping the friend move. Feels like a panic attack after waking up everytime since stopping AL
This is horrible feeling, yes working on the doctor , just when I thought the worse of the withdrawls were over
I hope everyone has a great free AL Day!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning all Nesters!

Up bright & early (primarily because my 3 yr old grandson was here overnight)

I hope to get outside & lots of things done toady, wetaher is chilly but nice.
Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Saturday!

Lav

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

Well guys, I'm sad to report my date wasn't fabulous and I feel depressed. I also have to confess that I did in the end have a couple of (small) glasses of wine and, interestingly, can *really* feel the effect - in a bad way - even though it was relatively very little. There's a line in Caroline Knapp's 'Drinking, A Love Story' that stuck with me - where she talks about how drinking "unleashed a terrible sadness" in her. That's how it's sometimes felt for me, a dreadful melancholy, but usually after way more than 2 drinks. Maybe it's in combo with the disappointing date or maybe it effected me more strongly after a bit of time sober?

The good bits... he was gentlemanly and polite and could make conversation and insisted on paying for this very nice dinner. NOT that I expect men to pay, in fact my feminist self rebels at that quite a bit, but still, he was trying, and I've certainly had far worse dates in those respects.

Bad bits...

It was just, I don't know, awkward, and he was awkward. Just nervous maybe, sure, fair enough, as was I, but it just felt uncomfortable.

He bought a bottle of wine which, after our conversation about my not drinking, I thought was not so great. I know it's still my fault my resolve crumbled in the face of it but still...

He talked about his own drinking in a way that makes me think he probably has his own problems with it.

He made borderline racist/sexist comments. Not horribly bad but, still, both of those things are deal breakers for me.

And, here's the kicker, and tell me if I'm being too harsh... he told me both that he's never lived with a woman and that he's never had a relationship last more than a year. I'm sorry, but when you're talking about a 43-year-old man that just makes me think RUN

Sigh.

I hate dating. Really, I do. I may join you K9 in the single and proud and alone with my pets. Only I don't have pets.

The best bit is probably that the notable (unpleasant) shift I felt in my mood upon drinking even a small amount, compared to how I have been feeling, makes me feel all that much more that it's something I really don't need to be doing.

I don't want to set my "clock" back to zero for 2 small glasses of wine but I couldn't lie to you all. I'm going to leave my 'quit' date where it is unless I drink more. Will be interested to see if I find myself craving again now.

Ok, I'm going to go hide in my bed for now. Feeling disproportionately sad - much more so than is warranted.

Hope this finds everyone else feeling chirpier.

Sorry this was so long.

Lilly x

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Lifechange...I may should tell you this in a private message...but your mockingbird tale brought a story to mind!! I travel quite a bit for work, and there's this hotel I stay in that has 4 floors. There are fairly young trees outside the windows and this dang mockingbird would fly to the limb outside my window and start chirping at 4 in the morning. I thought they weren't supposed to chirp until the sun comes up but apparently this one's timer was off. I had stayed there each week for 4 weeks and he had done this every time! I put earplugs in, but could still hear the darn thing. So I got up and opened the window (there was a screen in place) and I tried to shoo the bird away. I took the blow dryer over there to blow him off the branch but it was useless. Nothing, so I went back to bed, and he kept going. It was maddening!!! So I got an idea. I took the ice bucket and filled it with water. I mean he was right there about 2 feet away from the window on the branch...mocking me. So I took the water and was going to splash him good with it. Well the bucket hit the screen a little too soon, and water went everywhere...except on the dam bird! I was soaked, the wall the air conditioning unit....he just sat there...singing away!!! I hope no one was watching, they surely would have called me That Crazy ByrdLady!!!!! Hope you don't let yours get to you!!! :H B

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

KittyKat,
It took quite a while for me to calm down & lose the panic when I quit. We all want instant improvement but that just doesn't happen. Please hang in there, it will all get better. If it didn't we would all, most likely be back to our old ways

Lilly, sorrry the date was a fizzle. Not sure why you decided to drink though. Just because he was rude enough to buy a bottle after you told him you weren't drinking? Glad you have resolved to continue on your plan - you won't be sorry

Byrdie, assaulting birds is unlawful :H
I've had cat birds in my yard that used to attack me everytime I walked out my door. Never knew what happened to the suckers & didn't care either :H

Raining lightly, still a bit chilly & if I wasn't so lazy I'd light a fire. Guess I'll just grab another sweatshirt
Wishing everyone a good AF night!

Lav

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

Lavande;1306846 wrote: KittyKat,
Lilly, sorrry the date was a fizzle. Not sure why you decided to drink though. Just because he was rude enough to buy a bottle after you told him you weren't drinking? Glad you have resolved to continue on your plan - you won't be sorry
Lav

You're totally right Lav, I can't really blame him, just my own lack of resolve in a tense awkward moment.

I started the night really well. We met at a wine bar and I got a mocktail - delicious btw! I just asked the bartender to make me something yummy and fruity and got this beautiful drink which apparently was gingerale, chopped strawberries, ice and lemon juice. Will totally be trying that at home.

I'm not justfiying here but I also ate before i drank anything, which all helped as I didn't get that buzz on. There were times past I would have and would have bought a bottle on the way home to drink on my own! (Sad but true.)

I'm not making excuses - just admitting the failure. The upside is that it really made me feel sad - last night and this morning - which was interesting to observe. The sudden and extreme impact. Even though I wasn't very drunk in the scheme of things I still slept worse, woke up sinusy, woke up sad. Feel foggier. So, at least it's helped strengthen my resolve.

Oh well :upset:

[LibraryGirl]

Newbies Nest

Lily,
Sorry that your date didn't turn out so well. Honestly, though, the first few usually don't, in my experience. Don't let it jade you too much or take away your interest in dating altogether though. However, if you don't want to date, that's perfectly fine too. Lord, I am trying to be pc as I can be.:H

I did have to laugh out loud at this though hun: "And, here's the kicker, and tell me if I'm being too harsh... he told me both that he's never lived with a woman and that he's never had a relationship last more than a year. I'm sorry, but when you're talking about a 43-year-old man that just makes me think RUN"

Not sure what would be worse, two divorces (me) or never having a long-term relationship. Although I would still rather be with a divorcee.:H

Don't stress overmuch about the wine. Just start anew and chalk it up to a lesson learned (from an insensitive jerk who should not have bought it in the first place).

LG

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

LibraryGirl;1306867 wrote: Lily,
I did have to laugh out loud at this though hun: "And, here's the kicker, and tell me if I'm being too harsh... he told me both that he's never lived with a woman and that he's never had a relationship last more than a year. I'm sorry, but when you're talking about a 43-year-old man that just makes me think RUN"
LG

Thanks for the kind words LG. I'm feeling really crap right now - mentally/emotionally not physically - and so it helps. But do you mean you think I'm being too judgmental there? Wasn't clear re the it making you laugh out loud quite what you meant?

Maybe I am, I don't know. Just seems like a big red flag to me - as did bringing the damn wine.

My last date before him told me he'd been divorced twice (he's late 30s) and that freaked me out too but mainly because I was my husband's second wife and he went to on third-time marry the (last) woman he cheated on me with - it was her third marriage too, after she'd left the guy SHE was cheating on with my hubby. So two divorces before 40 is a sore spot for me. But I could hardly judge anyone on being divorced given I was divorced in my early 30s. Personally I think no relationship longer than a year at his age is a baaaaddd sign. You have to wonder - why? I mean, he was an attractive, smart, interesting guy at first appearances. There's gotta be some real underlying issues that come to the fore when you know him better I figure.

Also, as to getting jaded, this isn't one of the first dates, I have had many, many, many dates over the last few years - several short term things. All mostly disappointing - nothing even vaguely approached the loving committed relationship I'd like and what I once thought I had with my ex husband. The last guy was an on-off torturous thing for two years in which he jerked me around mightily - kept reeling me in then pushing me away - culminating with him telling me how totally wonderful I am but he 'just wasn't in love with me'. Ouch.

And hence the jadedness.

Ok, I'll shut up now. Sorry for the downer posts guys. :upset:

[LibraryGirl]

Newbies Nest

It's okay Lily, i.e., the emotional posts. This is the right place to let it out. I do, lol. No one judges you harshly in here for that.:l

No, I didn't think you were being too judgmental at all! I thought it was funny because it was so right! Yes, RUN from a 43 yo who can't commit. Run far and fast.:H

Sorry you haven't had any luck with the dating scene. They say when you aren't looking is when the right person comes along. IDK, I find that when you don't put yourself out there, you may as well give up on dating too, lol. Anyway plod on, at least you got a good dinner out of it.

Hope I didn't say anything wrong. So hard to understand exactly what is meant online sometimes.

LG

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

Thanks again LG. And no, no, you didn't say anything wrong. I am just in a bad head space today so I am probably expressing myself poorly. I am sure i will be out of the funk tomorrow.

And, you know, any time I have ignored my gut feeling with a man I have come to regret it so, yeah, gonna run far and fast from this one. Like perhaps all the way to Thailand...

In a weird way I'm actually kind of glad I had this experience with Alc before I left. Even though it wasn't a bender it's really left me feeling shitty compared to how I felt before. Maybe that's largely the beating myself up, I don't know. But it's a good motivator. I had really been fearing in Thailand - especially at the resort - the 'euphoric recall' would call to me and alc would seem all glamorous and irresistable. Remembering how sad it can make me feel is a GOOD thing right now. Today, anyway, I just feel like I DO NOT WANT THIS ANYMORE.

Happy eve all. It's mid day here and oh my I have so much work/packing/cleaning to do. Gotta lift myself up out of the doldrums.

L x

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

On a different note... my quit smoking app really helped me with that ('Since I Quit') so I was just searching for drinking ones. Found a general quitting anything motivation one... 'I Quit It' (free) and 'Quit Drinking' with timer, tips, motivation (just a couple bucks AU). Anyone know of any others?

[LibraryGirl]

Newbies Nest

Where is the quit smoking app, and I'm not sure what that means, lol. I am interested in tackling smoking next.

As for not resetting your AF days, I refused to do so either when I only had 1 1/2 wine coolers 39 days after I quit, but some here thought it was cheating. I ended up having the rest of that six pack over two more days...later on, and then a bottle of wine on another occasion. What I found, with me, is that I didn't overindulge and felt that maybe I had a handle on AL. However, I haven't continued to test that theory, and have not drank again for 13 days now.

I took the counting signature off....Maybe I'll add it back when I've reached 100 days.