Newbies Nest

[Ship_at_Sea]

Newbies Nest

G'day Sibonza :-)

I know it's hard when you are lonely not to hook up with old mates, when you want to go in a different direction...

Do something (anything to keep yourself busy!)

Are you interested in anything? Get guitar lessons, learn to speak Spanish, learn to meditate....ANYTHING!

Distraction/ having something to do is a really big help...

David x

[Yogamom]

Newbies Nest

Welcome Sibonza. Lots of moms here. That is motivation. geeez. You need to do it for yourself but if i am not worth it, they are.

David, I am not one to talk, but have u tried AA? Or Antabuse? You sound like such a great guy and i hate to think of you doing this tou yourself.

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Hey noodle, I like that too! Don't forget - that twisted side of that old man that even AFTER he kicks her to the curb and feels great about it? STILL sometimes yearns to be "naughty" with her and escape feeling proper. Yep, it's still there at times. He's always got to remember what a pain in the ass she really was! :H

yes. It really DOES get easier. I can still be bitchy - but I guess that's just part of my personality. But in the beginning - on more than one occasion, my whole family would snap their head around to look at me wide eyed like "what the heck is wrong with YOU!?" afraid to say anything...while I was a mess inside my head. On edge - wanting to drink so badly - thinking that I needed to.

The reality is that if life alcohol free STAYED that difficult, not one of us could do this. If I knew then that I could wake up and not feel that every day guilt and regret over what I was doing to myself and my family - and all it would take is a short time of struggle? That "I" who doesn't even remember living without alcohol being a motivating factor for absolutely EVERYTHING - could be so much happier by taking it completely out of the picture? That "I" who had moved to the point of drinking out of habit and no enjoyment whatsoever. All day - a little vodka to start the day.... all night - (wake up in the middle of the night? ah, good thing there's that glass beside my bed with some vodka in it)....that I could be without it for going on 8 months and live a life that I am PROUD of?.......I would have put up with that short struggle YEARS ago. To think that I just didn't know how. I just didn't really believe that I could do it...I didn't see how life could be lived without it.

[Ship_at_Sea]

Newbies Nest

I went to 3 AA meetings in one week..

And then another 6 meetings, over two months but couldn't relate...

They had really, really fcked up everything (family, assault, jail, DUI)

I'm just depressed and anxious...No one related to me..

[angel77]

Newbies Nest

Hello Sibonza, Welcome to MWO. I could relate to what you said about associating yourself with big drinkers. Nearly all of my friends are big drinkers, especially on weekends when everyone goes out to socialize and it normally involves drinking, that can be really hard. I'm finding support by going to a therapist. Are there any groups in your area for single mothers? Or maybe a AA meeting? It might help with the loneliness. Anyway hope you are feeling better today.

[Ship_at_Sea]

Newbies Nest

ut , yes am thinking antabuse...

[patricia]

Newbies Nest

Hi everybody,

So where do I start - yip - on day 4 albeit with dreams of moderating . . . . been doing that most of my life . . . . . some success, some not, mostly not but for the time being all is well. K9 thank you - you've been so very helpful, where do you get the time and energy to help us all? But eternal thanks. Sausage, day 76 how amazing is that, thank you too. Lav, you've been an inspiration to me - sometimes I really didn't feel connected and the odd comment from you has been so appreciated. Roonifred - please stay strong, and keep super-glued to these boards. Librarygirl, so good to hear from you. Noodle, Day 2, that is such a feat for us - normal people just wouldn't understand, would they? Ship at Sea - hang on in there, you are where you should be for the moment. Yesterday, I was wobbling but just kept thinking of the peace in my head I would be giving up, Sibonza - yes indeedeee, lots of us mums here - stay strong. I wrote on a thread recently that my o/h has not had a drink in over three decades and tells me that "you don't drink anymore than anyone else in this street". Mana to my ears and even if it is true, then I still KNOW that five or six bottles of wine a week is bad for me. Anyhow, must fly - got to do some work, STRENGH, PEACE AND HAPPINESS TO US ALL. pX

[DesertLady]

Newbies Nest

Happy Thursday, Lovely People! Thursday is my favourite day of the week as it's the day my husband comes back from site (works away from home Monday through Thursday). On the other hand though it's also the day I madly tidy the house and catch up on dishes because I tend to let things slide while he's not around....
Have had many thoughts about drinking this week. It's been a bit of a tough week for me, and I still have a mental image of how good it would feel to "check out" in the evening and not have to think or feel. The other night I fetched supper at a store right next to the liquor store, and it shocked me how easily I could imagine walking in and buying a bottle of brandy - after all I did just that so very often for the past 4 years. I didn't do it though - and a huge factor in stopping me was the number of days I've racked up (44 today!) and HOW MUCH THOSE DAYS MEAN TO ME. I also know that if I were to drink now I would totally overdo it, and it really helps me to do the FAST FORWARD THINKING that so many folks here talk about - instead of focusing on how it would feel right now, I think about how I would feel the next morning, and that really stops me short!

The other thing I can so clearly see now is that I can't fool myself into thinking I want just one drink. That might have worked while I was drinking, and was under the spell/curse. Now I know that when I think about drinking I think about getting completely bladdered - that's what I want, not just one little drink. That's how I also know that I could never moderate. And I've read on this forum often enough how easy it is to fall under the curse again, and have it take months or years before going AF again. Really, is it worth it to "play chicken" with this very powerful beast?

Welcome to all the newbies!!
Lec - how did it go yesterday? Did you make it home alright? If not, today is another day, stay on the forum and keep trying! Just don't stop stopping!

Ship - it's hard when we've actually forgotten who we even are without AL. If you go AF for a few weeks though your mind does get so much more clear and your perspective changes so very much - it's worth the "experiment" just for that, to see who you might discover yourself to be without al....

LG - I think I've said before that your job is my secret crush. I would love to be a librarian, so hearing you talk about getting reignited in your career is so exciting! Go for it - and let us know how it goes!!

Roon - keep strong, and remember that AL truly isn't and hasn't been your friend - it's actually telling you huge lies and deceiving you daily that it's what you need. We all know how terrifying it feels in the beginning contemplating life without it, but it might help to think in terms of TODAY only, and not about forever. Forever not drinking seems impossible and an awful thought initially. It's much "easier" to focus only on today, and then on building up a little gathering of todays....

Right, time to launch into the day - dishes to wash! Love and AF hugs all round!
Karen

[resrchqueen]

Newbies Nest

THe recycling has gone out today and one of my goals is to make certain it is not loaded with wine bottles when it goes out next week!

[LibraryGirl]

Newbies Nest

Good morning ALL! I've enjoyed reading your posts this morning. It seems like everyone is thinking clearly and wants to have the BEAST out of their lives.:goodjob: 24 days since my last drink. I do hate that I had a couple of drinks since I quit in February because I would be coming up on 3 months now.

Just working today, getting through it and looking forward to the weekend. We plan to all get together at my mom's house on Sat. I've got to get some ingredients to make a couple of dishes to take with me.

Hope everyone is having a brilliant Thursday!:l

LG

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good mid-morning Nesters!

I have a painting project going on here right now so I'm off my routine (maybe my rocker too) :H

Glad to see everyone looking strong & commited - that's how we beat the beast

Ship, I just wanted to mention something.....
My drinking career was just about 10 years & it started when I fell into a deep depression. I was unhappy about a lots of things & my usual coping methods no longer worked for me. I knew that trying to drink away the blues was stupid as hell but I did it anyway
I finally went to my doc & fessed up about the depression but not the drinking. I was put on ADs but they made me feel lousy & I still drank. I did a whole lot of research & came up with an OTC product called 'Amoryn' which has St John's Wort & other things. I gave that a try & it worked. I then found an online program called 'Habit Busting' & used that program to rid myself of the chronic negative thinking pattern I had gotten into & it worked. That's when I found MWO, decided to go completely AF & here I am 3+ years later. A new & improved Lav

I think addressing some of our other big issues like depression/anxiety while or even before we attempt to quit drinking really helps. The MWO Hypno CDs really sealed the deal for me!

Something to think about on this beautiful day

Lav

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Morning Nesties!!

Ok...where is Byrdie?! I haven't seen her in a few days. Yooohooo Byrdie, please come out!!! Miss you!

Hi Sibonza! Welcome to the Nest! It's a great, comfy place to be...so settle in! You'll find that someone here will always relate to you. You are not alone!

Ship - I have been on Antabuse for a long time, so if you have any questions, feel free to ask me! I have to credit my sobriety to Antabuse, MWO and ok, a little to myself, but mostly AB and MWO...I couldn't have done it without these great folks!

LG - Congrats on your promotion. I want to be a Librarian (me and DesertLady!)! I'd love to be surrounded by books all day...well, books or animals! Is there a job that combines both? LOL

Patricia - You asked me where I get my energy? I take vitamins. LOL Seriously, I love being here and helping out as much as I can...you've all helped me so much too!! Just hearing your stories, and even your struggles, it all helps. It's great to have a place where we can be honest...I know some people (like me) aren't really that open in "real life" about our drinking.

Lolab and Noodle - your analogy made me laugh! I have one I use a lot too: "Drinking is like going to bed with Brad Pitt and waking up with Danny Devito. What a LETDOWN"...LOL :H

Ok, guess I better go pretend to work. You all have a great day and I'll check in later.

K9

[Sibonza]

Newbies Nest

Hi again everyone. Thanks for all the comments and welcoming me. I went AA today. Felt really nervous going I'm going to keep going. I'm determined to beat this. It's great reading all your comments, it gives me hope knowing that this thread has helped you. I'm really happy right now never happy after binge, and still go back to it. Scared of the weekend just in case I drink, don't want to let my kids down or myself and feel that depression after I've drank. Hope your all ok and doing well. Glad I'm not alone in this.

[Stewarts]

Newbies Nest

This is my first post to this thread, which another user pushed me to be a part of. I really learned something about myself today, which I know I totally over hashed in my own thread "I need to do this."

Briefly (and I promise :-)), I started suffering from sever depression after my marriage broke up; even thought it was quite an amicable divorce. It didn't cause me to drink, it caused me to do, well nothing. I've been handling that, actually quite well with therapy and some medication, but lately have been having really bad days, despite acting, for once in my life finally, like an adult. (I'm 37 if that matters).

I started wanting to watch what I drink because the next day would cause me anxiety...I haven't had that in awhile, actually, but today I am feeling it. I now know, kind of always did, I think, know what my triggers were, but mainly, I'm lonely. What I mean by that, is not that I go out alone and drink a lot, quite the opposite...if I'm by myself, I'm actually ok...if I slip, its always when I'm with people, usually old friends, like last night with my buddy and his wife... it's like I'm starved real human interaction, then when I feel it, its like overload....anyway, I'll be honest, I'm writing this because I feel like crying right now and some anxiety is kicking in...kind of pathetic... picture a white collar, typical NYC business professional (short version of Don Draper if you need a visual), with stoic serious face, when in reality, I'd be okay if I simply died right now....as sad as that sounds, its true...

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Hi again Sibonza!

I understand your dread of the weekends, I felt like that at first too. Can you plan something to do with your kids? Maybe go on a "date", out to dinner and then a movie? My daughter and I saw more movies than I can even remember when I first quit. LOL Or maybe a cheaper version of that is to rent a movie and order a pizza (we did that so much my kid got sick of pizza...now that's bad!). Anything to keep you busy on a Friday or Saturday night will help. Just throwing out suggestions, because I know the weekends can be hard at first. Hang in there, you are doing good!

K9