Newbies Nest

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Hi Stewarts,

We were posting at the same time. Sorry to read of how you're feeling right now. Please don't say you'd be ok if you died...you're simply feeling down, it happens. You have a lot going for you. This will pass! Are you feeling anxiety because you drank too much last night? I know that feeling all too well. Please don't do anything drastic, get some rest today if you can, drink lots of water and eat well. Come back and tell us how you are feeling. I'll be thinking of you.

K9

[Stewarts]

Newbies Nest

Hi K9

K9Lover;1313961 wrote: Hi Stewarts,

We were posting at the same time. Sorry to read of how you're feeling right now. Please don't say you'd be ok if you died...you're simply feeling down, it happens. You have a lot going for you. This will pass! Are you feeling anxiety because you drank too much last night? I know that feeling all too well. Please don't do anything drastic, get some rest today if you can, drink lots of water and eat well. Come back and tell us how you are feeling. I'll be thinking of you.

K9

Hey K9, good to hear from you; yes, I've had this happen before and I know it will pass. As for the anxiety, I'm pretty sure its from drinking too much last night...I actually woke up fine, but it started creeping up on me as the day went on...as you know, Ive also had an odd couple of weeks, personally, which is still having some effect on me..I totally poured it out in my own thread if you read it, if you didn't, I don't blame you, I was rambling! :-)

It's weird, I oddly feel empowered with a lot of my solo endeavors, my marathons are perfect examples, hence why I am doing one this year, but its the same thing I loathe about myself if that makes any sense.

The drug generation...which my generation was to, but the young kids in my office are all on some sort of pharmacuticals, whether they are prescribed or not...one of them gave me a few Xanax's...I took one, its starting to mellow me out a little...I just hate feeling...sad...I need to go to an appointment, I promise I will check in later...you may see me a lot on here today... its hard for me to be self motivated (which is a big part of my profession) when I'm in these moods...

J

[resrchqueen]

Newbies Nest

Stewarts...Its not uncommon to be really down and feeling bad about yourself after a binge but tomorrow can be a much better day if you let it be... really. I know the feeling...Shame, guilt, despair,unworthy but a lot of that is the depressive effects of alcohol for certain. Like K9 says...get some rest, lots of water, herbal teas, some light exercise and sun if you can.

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

Day 3 and feeling somewhat weak. My dog has an eye infection, and when I woke up this morning, it looked worse. I panicked. The animal eye specialist said to bring her in two hours later. My first reaction was "that gives me time to stop by a breakfast place on the way and have a couple of bloody marys." This eye problem is making me really worried. But I didn't. I went to the vet AF. So, I get there, after having convinced myself that my precious dog's eyes would be permanently damaged. I finally got to see the vet, and after the examination, she said she had actually improved. Her eyes just looked cloudy from the corneal ulcers. I was so incredibly relieved. She said it will take some time but that her eyes should heal just fine over the next couple of weeks. Phew! So, driving out, I thought how it was lunch time and how I could swing in somewhere and get a couple of drinks on the way home and celebrate. I mean, gosh the situation was so nerve racking - I deserved a come down. Well, I kept driving, and now I'm back working. No alcohol to fuzz up my head. Close call, but I made it. Now if I can get through the rest of the day....

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Oh Rooni,

I feel your pain regarding your dog. My little girl that I've had for 12 years is having trouble with her lungs, and honestly I won't be able to financially afford any treatments. I'm just hoping it's not too bad, and that she still has some good years left in her. BUT...my first thought was that I was going to BINGE if she dies. I mean seriously I was sitting in the vets office thinking "I better stop taking Antabuse"....but then my rational mind eventually took over and I realized that if something happens to her, I'd only be hungover AND heartbroken. It will be hard enough without the hangover. But I just wanted you to know I do understand, and kudos to you for making it through the stressful situation. I hope your doggie's eyes get better.

Ok, I need to stop posting so much today, my big mug is taking over the Nest. LOL

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

Thank you so much, K9. I don't mind your "big mug" all over the nest LOL. I'm sorry you are also having doggie troubles. My doggie of 12 years also had lung troubles (probably caused by cancer), and I had to put her down on February 9. I was absolutely devastated. Now, after three months, I can look back and smile on all those wonderful years. But, I'm not going to lie, I drank like a fish for two months afterwards. It made it soooo much worse. Whatever happens with your baby, just go day by day, and when you have to make a move, your sobriety will get you through. Enjoy your days with your little girl. I can tell how much you love her, as I'm sure she loves you too :-)

[Stewarts]

Newbies Nest

It's funny

resrchqueen;1313977 wrote: Stewarts...Its not uncommon to be really down and feeling bad about yourself after a binge but tomorrow can be a much better day if you let it be... really. I know the feeling...Shame, guilt, despair,unworthy but a lot of that is the depressive effects of alcohol for certain. Like K9 says...get some rest, lots of water, herbal teas, some light exercise and sun if you can.

I actually know all this and do it, but I definitely appreciate the support, its like you said, shame, guilt, despair, unworthiness...yes, I always feel those things...I'm actually starting to feel a little better...actually, a lot, I'm far from doom and gloom as I was this morning...also, with the meds, I need to watch it too...I just got back from my chiropractor, that believe it or not, is like light excercise.

But rqueen, you hit it right on the head...its just a feeling we all hate and the timing of it isn't very good. I mean what do I really have to be anxious over, my life is so bad? I'm sitting on a high floor in my office a very notable Manhattan skyscraper, and I have a 27 yo Dominican Baruch student (who I kind of have a thing with) stopping by in about 20 mins to say hi...to the women, that may sound shallow, I apologize, but it makes us guys feel good. :-)

Roony I hope your dog is okay and good job fending off temptation.

I'll be honest with all, I just stopped

[Stewarts]

Newbies Nest

Sorry, work called, I took other Xanax when I got back, I know, but it does help.... I think this is why I titled my own thread, I need to do this...

[resrchqueen]

Newbies Nest

Stewarts..I know you probably are aware but too much alcohol on Xanax is a BAD idea...

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

Glad you are feeling better, Stewarts. And thanks for the concern and the "good job." :-)

It's almost 4pm on the east coast of the US, and I am just getting off work. A nice stop-off at the bar to meet some friends for cocktails are usually in order, but not today. Gonna stay home, cook some soup, clean up, and go to bed. It's gonna be a while before I can go out and be social. But that's OK. I've done enough drunk socializing to last me for quite a while.

Happy and safe AF Thursday, everyone.

[Stewarts]

Newbies Nest

Xanax

resrchqueen;1314040 wrote: Stewarts..I know you probably are aware but too much alcohol on Xanax is a BAD idea...

Yes, I know, too much Xanax in general is a bad idea. I never drink when I take Xanax, only, well as it relates to drinking, if I feel like this the next day. I was initially given it because one of my meds, Welbutrin, got me in a manic state when I first started taking it...nothing crazy, my mind just would not stop racing....anyway, I then noticed it helped me get to sleep in a natural way, some times....I hate sleeping aids, they some times don't work for me or make me feel like real crap the next day, one made me halucinate once.

I really didn't start over using Xanax until recently. . . some know this story, it started at a business conference and a good (female) friend of mine was TRASHED! Sloppy trashed and made some non-sensical (and hurtful) allegations towards me...it's still pretty recent...anyway, I couldn't stop having anxiety over this! I mean she screws up, I actually did everything right, and I feel like the piece of crap?!

Anyway, my 27 year old met me, she is very sweet. She saw the new office, then I walked her to the 6 train, she had to go to school (this is so bizarre and she has 3 yo, I don't even have kids).....anyway, that was good for the male ego...she was responding to our conversation, well, the way I wanted it to go...leave it at that.

As for me, I will definitely not be drinking tonight. When I have one of these episodes, the last thing I want to do is drink the next day....I may leave work a little early for me, get something to eat (I've had nothing all day) and relax, maybe watch a movie...

All of you that were empathetic and understanding to put up with my bullshit today, thank you...I am feeling better..

J.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters!

Always nice to see the nest busy.
rooniferd, hope you are hanging in on your day 3 ~ you'll never be sorry!

Stewarts, welcome to the nest, it's a good place to settle in while you get your bearings.
You seem to be all over the place right now.....your sobriety needs to be in first place. With that in mind, what's your plan?
Everything else in your life can & will fall into place once you rid yourself of major distractions like AL. Taking back control of your life must be top priority

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!
Lav

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

good morning nesters!
great job yesterday Roon on fighting those urges/habits. you did a fantastic job talking yourself out of it.
i'm also praying for your little doggy. and i think it's a great plan to avoid the social situations that include drinking for awhile. i feel so fortunate that i don't have so many--having said that, my problem has always been more of drinking alone at home problem. and this weekend i'm alone with the kids again and thoughts of drinking have been entering my head. i feel threatened and am in the process--i will today--of writing a new, very special and specific weekend plan.#
have a great day everyone!!

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

Day 4 and moving into a sober weekend.

So I know I'm going to lose at least one friend along my journey. Sunday night, after drinking a good part of the day, I was really upset and feeling way blue. I texted a friend, and she came over to talk - with a bottle of wine, of course. We've been wine buddies for a long time. In fact, I can only remember one occasion in five years when we didn't drink. Anyway, I can't remember everything in the conversation (I was pretty buzzed), but I did tell her that I just needed to get a handle on drinking (meaning quit altogether) - that it just wasn't fun anymore. I vaguely remember her shrugging it off, just thinking I was having a bad night. I distinctly remember her saying "You're just upset about Mothers Day since your mother passed away."

So I haven't talked to her since then. She texted me last night to say she was on her way to the bar and for me to meet her. My first reaction was anger. Didn't she hear a damn thing I told her the other night? But then I also thought how wasted I was and how maybe I didn't seem serious. Anyway, I texted her back and said I couldn't because I had to get up early today. She got kinda pissy and asked me to come out again. I didn't respond.

She's done this before. I tell her I'm going to chill on the drinking, and she acts like I just told her what I had for dinner. Well, she can just keep on texting and calling - and I will keep saying no. I guess she will get the hint eventually, huh?

Thanks for listening to my story. I hope everyone is doing great today. Will check in later!

[SAUSAGE]

Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters
Good to see you StewartS and well done Rooniferd on your day 4, once you've got through this weekend things will get a bit easier as you get to the 7 day mark so hang in there. Do whatever it takes to stay AF. As for your friend, I'd have another chat, explain again how serious you are about an AF life and how you'd appreciate her support. Can't you meet with her somewhere other than a bar eg get her to come round to your house for instance? If she is a true friend she will see you mean it. If she doesn't see it or want to support you then you are better off without her. Sounds harsh, but it is the truth.

Hope everyone else is doing ok, I will drop back in the nest a bit later, need to do some house work before I pick the kids up.

Sausage x
Day 78