Newbies Nest

[finallydone]

Newbies Nest

Good morning nesters! Boy this AL demon is such a struggle some days. Been reading everyone's threads and I am always amazed how soo many of our stories are so similiar.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Hey all...sorry I have been missing in action, I had to attend to some family matters and have been out of town. I usually MAKE time to come here (it is very important to me to stay accountable) but I just wasn't able to. First and foremost...Congratulations Miss DAISY on your 30 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so very happy for you! It is with great pride, that I give you your hat :bday2:!!! These first 30 are the most challenging...so you are well on your way.
The past few days have been a real test....I'm just thankful that I wasn't trying to arrange my being there with my family around the demands of AL. I was present in every way. Stay strong everyone...it is worth it. Byrdie

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

so far so good. i have been changing routines like crazy today. i noticed several times that i was trying to trick myself into the possibility of a drink. even though i don't drink anymore!! damn. i'm not leaving the house again tonight.
so this weekend i will do whatever the f*** i have to do not to drink. i have to be super aware of that tricky evil whatever it is that tries to convince me to drink. it's not even trying really-- i just haven't been actively fighting. i'm thinking of reading jason vales book. seems like lots of you really liked it. and i get paid wed., so i will get some more supplements and some sort of hyp.cd. l

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

so glad you're back, Byrdie. it must feel so sooo good to be fully present in every way! i'm so looking forward to that. more than anything else, i think. i want to live in the present. i want to listen with an open heart and a clear mind when someone (especially the little ones) are speaking to me. even if the short story is taking 10 minutes to tell!! and i've already heard it!!
xo

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Sausage, but I'm afraid the friendship I referred to in my last post is short-lived. I've tried to talk to her before about my desire to stop drinking, and every time, she "forgets" about the conversation and asks me to meet her at the bar. She's just really selfish and doesn't want to sit at the bar alone. I think moving away from her over time will be the best thing for my addiction and also for me in general.

On a side note, it's funny how some people react to you telling them that you are attempting to quit drinking. Some people are completely supportive, and others brush you off and think you're just having a bad day. I don't expect everyone to understand, but if I express my feelings to someone about alcohol and explain how it's bringing me down, I certainly don't expect them to call me and ask me to go the bar just a short time later!

[akaMonique]

Newbies Nest

Hi everyone,
I apologize, I only have a few minutes before I need to go to work and need to catch up on several days of posts but I wanted to share because for the first time in years I feel positive and hopeful.

I started a medically supervised self-detox on Tues. The Dr. wanted to put me in inpatient rehab due to the amount of my drinking - up to then about 2-3 bottles of wine a day. He was extremely concerned about seizures and death. Everyone is different but I haven't been successful cold-turkey on my own and that is, in fact, extremely dangerous depending on how long, how much, and how often we drink.

He put me on a controlled dosage of generic valium along with high blood pressure medication because it was through the roof and he was also concerned about stroke. (I'm 52). The first day was still a bit rough but the meds helped considerably. Day 2 was better, and Day 3, yesterday I felt actually good. Today is Day 4 AF and I have no cravings. Next is a 5-day tapering off. Oh, and I had to have someone stay with me overnight these first 5 days because the risk of seizure is highest days 3-4, surprisingly.

We will also be looking into anti-depressants starting next week (I have a long history of depression/anxiety/panic attacks) and possibly Naltrexone w/ or w/o Campral depending on whether the cravings surface.

I'm also going to see an alcohol counselor and will likely start back into AA but I want to get some time first. These boards are great, but I can't tell you what a difference getting professional help has made for me, which I've never tried before. My face isn't bloated, my mood is good, a nasty rash on my back has disappeared and I feel for the first time that my life is back on track and that I barely dodged a deathly bullet. Life can change and get better.

The pain of this change doesn't compare to the pain I was in drinking. I know it won't be easy, but if you have to be in pain, in might as well be pain for a better way of life.

I'll check back in when I have time to revisit how everyone is doing these past few days. Thank you all for your support and be well and kind to yourself. We're all worth it.

XoXoXo

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

YAY! Byrdie's back...I missed you!!

Glad to see everyone here today. I know the AL Beast gets loud sometimes, but we just need to remember that the Beast is only a thought, and that we are in charge! So kick the damn thoughts to the curb! Weekends are hard for most (me included), but they are just days, and not a free pass to drink. Let's remember our worst hangovers, that always works for me. Laying on the couch with the room spinning, sprinting to the bathroom to dry heave, face and eyes red and splotchy and bloodshot, heart racing, cold sweats...ugh. Sometimes it really helps to fast forward through the buzz to the harsh reality!

I hope you all stay strong today/tonight and through the weekend. Each one will get easier! Have a great day everyone!

K9

[resrchqueen]

Newbies Nest

AK...what was your blood pressure.... Interesting the doc wanted inpatient...there have been a few peeps here drinking to that level who quit cold turkey..guess it just depends on the person

[Stewarts]

Newbies Nest

Plan

Lavande;1314240 wrote: Good evening Nesters!

Always nice to see the nest busy.
rooniferd, hope you are hanging in on your day 3 ~ you'll never be sorry!

Stewarts, welcome to the nest, it's a good place to settle in while you get your bearings.
You seem to be all over the place right now.....your sobriety needs to be in first place. With that in mind, what's your plan?
Everything else in your life can & will fall into place once you rid yourself of major distractions like AL. Taking back control of your life must be top priority

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!
Lav

I just had a rought two weeks; I saw my Dr. today and had a good session...Actually, my intstincts to deal with some of my personally problems/relationships, I was actually dead on with......Sobriety now...

Well, its something I often thought about...for the record, I'm not necessarily against drinking or even drug use for that matter...as long as you know what you're getting into and control it.

I just don't like feeling so depressed the next day. I actually for awhile was taking a journal, as to what I'd drink a night, how it effect me the next day, etc., I should go back to doing that and reading it....

So completely sober or limit my drinking.....I'm really not sure yet. I don't drink every day, only when I'm out, so if I'm in, or at work, I don't....The Rangers have a big game 7 coming up, it's going to be hard to watch that without a cold one, if I'm out, if I'm in....thought... we shall see what happens...

Plus, pre-marathon training...

Thank you for your thoughts...

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good afternoon Nesters

Monique, so happy you are doing well
Keep up the great work.

Stewarts, it is ultimately your choice to forgo AL altogether or drink moderately in the future. But in either case an AF period of 30 days will help you make your decision with clarity. I started the MWO program with the intention of learning to drink moderately, primarily because I couldn't imagine living an AF life. But, by the time I reached 30 AF days my thinking changed entirely. I was finally able to see that I no longer had any control over AL ~ it controlled me once I took that first drink.
So, in the long run it was just easier & safer for me to go completely AF.

Greetings to everyone in the nest & wishes for a terrific AF Friday.
A special weekend plan is a great idea lifechange. Avoiding drinking friends (at least for now) is a great start. They are only looking for drinking buddies to ease their discomfort & not giving a damn about yours.

Lav

[Stewarts]

Newbies Nest

It's their problem...

rooniferd;1314555 wrote: Thanks Sausage, but I'm afraid the friendship I referred to in my last post is short-lived. I've tried to talk to her before about my desire to stop drinking, and every time, she "forgets" about the conversation and asks me to meet her at the bar. She's just really selfish and doesn't want to sit at the bar alone. I think moving away from her over time will be the best thing for my addiction and also for me in general.

On a side note, it's funny how some people react to you telling them that you are attempting to quit drinking. Some people are completely supportive, and others brush you off and think you're just having a bad day. I don't expect everyone to understand, but if I express my feelings to someone about alcohol and explain how it's bringing me down, I certainly don't expect them to call me and ask me to go the bar just a short time later!

Roon, it's her problem not yours; I've told friends I don't feel like drinking and they've been fine with it, on certain nights. However, I know what you mean. I remember 2 years ago, St. Patty's Day (I was stilled married), anyway, my bosses are big on office drinking....I think I might have had a long week, or had to take some people out, but anyway, I didn't feel like drinking and didn't. I hung out with the office for a little while and then went home to my wife. MY boss was giving me some crap for it though.

If someone did not feeling drinking and I was, I never really thought that much about it, meaning the other person...I am finding out though, there are a lot of people who really will look at you, like something is wrong...if you're not taking a drink...

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Stewarts, yes you are right. It's her problem. Maybe she's just jealous :-) I used to really care what people thought about me not drinking, but I just don't care anymore. If someone makes fun of me or tries to convince me to drink, then I need to walk away from that person and move on! By the way, I'm so glad work is not a drinking thing for me. Everyone is really serious, and we hardly ever have events, other than lunches for people leaving or something like that.

[SAUSAGE]

Newbies Nest

My opinion is that people who make fun of you or pressurise you to drink actually have a problem themselves with alcohol, although they may keep it well hidden.

Someone who is a normal drinker wouldn't care less / it wouldn't really cross their radar what you were drinking.

I didn't use to think like this but since my last break in my sobriety I look upon other people and those that pressure you to drink differently.

Two people in particula put pressure on me to drink at the 18th birthday party where I started drinking again after 8.5 months AF. I knew one was a serious drinker but the other was a professional woman ( former head teacher) whom I thought was only a very moderate drinker. She kept saying things like , oh come on, it's only a champagne toast, you've got to get some enjoyment out of life. If you've managed all those months without a drink you certainly don't have a problem do you. I should have seen the writing on the wall here but I didn't, I thought she was a moderate drinker and I could be like her and successful.

Weeks later she confided in me she was a binge drinker. Her life turned out not to be as perfect as I thought. Why oh why did I listen to this woman. Almost three years of drinking went on before I found the strength to try and start over again. How much wasted money, at what price to my health, family life, personal well being?

I have no idea what will happen to me in the future but

One thing is for sure........

I will never let another person pressurise me into drinking alcohol again. Truly genuine people who care about me wouldn't pressure me anyway.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

All good points...it is an interesting perspective when you are on the other side of drinking...you can spot another AK from a mile away...I know all the signs! No one wants you to have success when they aren't able to have it. Come on! ONE DRINK isn't going to hurt you!! THOSE are famous last words....

Incidently....I have had success TWICE in getting back notes that disappeared!!!! Immediately when it goes away, right click your mouse and see 'UNDO' and click on it. It has worked!!! That is so maddening to pour your heart into a note and then poof!
MindPeace to all as we head into the weekend. Byrdie

[Ship_at_Sea]

Newbies Nest

Morning all :-)

Here begins Day 2 AF again..

I have to be off to work, so will check in later on..

Hope everyone has a good one x