Newbies Nest

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

Thank you, Daisy. I agree with everything you said. The most important thing right now is for me to stay away from people and situations that will make me want to drink. Unfortunately right now, that also includes my brother - not because he tries to get me to drink, but because he makes me so angry that I feel like I have to drink to calm down.

Daisy, you eluded to this, and I've heard some other people say it - that we need to get some sober time in before we can really start seeing things clearly. I'm talking about the friendships, the severity of the drinking, the whole alcohol thing in society. I've also heard people mention that 30 days is a good milestone for starting to see things in another light. I haven't gone 30 days AF since I was a teenager, and I'm 43 now. Wow, that statement sounds really scary!

Again, thanks for your support. Off to the store to buy some flowers!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Roon and Yknot....we are all doing things here that we never thought we would be able to do. One sober day for me was an impossible dream. Nevermind none for the rest of my life? It was too much to wrap my head around. But in this business, we don't look so far down the road as to make our journey impossible. We look to the next 15 minutes, and the next batch of choices we make. I know for a fact, that my next 15 minutes is NOT going to include AL. Once you get some time (those 30 days or so) you will wonder what all the fear was about (this is astonishing). Things are not worse without AL....they are different at first, and then they are BETTER! I'm not kidding. There were times I thought...dam, if I could just have one drink!!! But if you ask any of us here....one drink isn't going to do us any good. One drink leads to another. I was listening to a country song on my recent trip...1 drink is too many and the next one is not enough. I never seemed to be happy on the drink I had, I was worried about the next one coming. I just can't go there. The first 3 days are a bitch, no 2 ways about it...but you get over that hump, and you will be pleasantly surprised. You can do it....Byrdie

[So over it]

Newbies Nest

Great advice byrdie!
Everything you said is

AF since 10 may. (restart)

[LibraryGirl]

Newbies Nest

Hi everyone. I've been to my Mother's house to celebrate Mother's Day with my family. The day went well till the end, when we had a "family meeting" just between the 7 siblings about my mother's care (she's in a nursing home), the money involved, etc. At the end of the LONG drawn out meeting, I politely took my leave and before I could get away my brother brings up something to humiliate me in front of everyone. I started crying and screamed at my brother and ran out of the house. All the way home I gave myself permission to stop and get a bottle of wine, but I didn't. I still want some, but I know it wouldn't help anything.

Sorry this post is just about me. I hope you all are doing well and having a good weekend.

LG

I was given a glass of wine during the "meeting" in a small sherry glass and I drank half of it. It was expensive and tasted pretty good, but now I feel nauseas (sp?).

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

LibraryGirl, I mentioned earlier that I can't even talk to my brother right now, because it will surely drive me to drink. I can relate to your family trouble. I'm sorry you had a bad ending today. Hopefully your brother will apologize.

Hey, but congrats on your strength not to stop and get a bottle of wine! I can't say that I would have been so strong. Try not to dwell on the family situation and keep reminding yourself that alcohol will only make things worse.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

LG - brothers can be real assholes & I have three brothers so I know :H
Don't let him or anyone throw you off your plan, be tough

Rooniferd, congrats on your 5 AF days - great!

Hi Byrdie, So over it & everyone!
Wishing everyone in the nest a safe night - hang on

Lav

[Ship_at_Sea]

Newbies Nest

Morning all :-)

Just checking in to report the beginning of Day 3 AF...

A little bit of anxiety and trouble sleeping but everything is running to plan so far.

This time last week, I was having a beer because I was so hungover (It's almost 10am right now)

I too am looking for some sober time to have a good look at my life and put into motion the things I need to do to fix it..

Have a happy sober Weekend everyone xxx

[Stressd]

Newbies Nest

Hi all

Hi everyone,
I wanted to join the newbie group. Tomorrow I am 7 days AF! Was very tempted tonight but managed to have a club soda and limes while out with friends. Catch up with you more tomorrow!
Take care!

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

good morning Nesters!!
welcome to Ynot and Stressd.
Congrats on 7 days, Srtressd--awesome!
Library Girl, i'm sorry to hear about your brother being so insensitive. obviously there's something going on with him inside to cause him to strike out at you. but that doesn't make it any easier. i'm so happy you didn't buy the wine. like Daisy said, we have to be selfish now and noone and nothing is allowed to cause us to drink. i hope you're feeling better this morning.
hello and a Happy Mothers day to all you mamas!

[LibraryGirl]

Newbies Nest

Goood morning Nesters! Stressed that is so awesome that you resisted and substituted with a AF drink.:goodjob: It sounds like you're using some of the skills we've talked about on here. I haven't tried going to a bar, but I know it would be difficult.

Lifechange, I do feel better today. I still have some of the stomach issues, but I'm hoping the Activia will do it's miracle soon. Good to see you this morning!

Happy Mother's Day Everyone!:hiya:

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

Selfishness

Daisy said: "there is a certain degree of selfishness required to ensure you stay on the right path."

What an excellent point - one that I really needed to hear. During the first few days and weeks of trying to get sober, one of the main reasons I fall off the wagon is because I start feeling guilty about not visiting friends or family, even when I know I am putting myself in a tempting situation. I visit them, and next thing I know, I'm back to my old ways. If I had just stayed away from the person/situation, I possibly could have stayed sober and continued on the path I was on.

So, yes, I agree that we have to be selfish, especially at the beginning. Your family will wait, because, well, they're family! And friends, the ones who wait are truly your friends, and the ones who won't, well, you just might need to kiss those relationships goodbye.

As I start day SIX, I am sober and I will be as selfish as I need to be to stay sober. In the end, my selfishness will benefit me and everyone around me.

[SAUSAGE]

Newbies Nest

rooniferd;1315580 wrote: we have to be selfish, especially at the beginning. Your family will wait, because, well, they're family! And friends, the ones who wait are truly your friends, and the ones who won't, well, you just might need to kiss those relationships goodbye.

As I start day SIX, I am sober and I will be as selfish as I need to be to stay sober. In the end, my selfishness will benefit me and everyone around me.

Very good points here, just wanted to highlight them. I'm here on day 80 , but silly little things can still throw me / alter my mindset. Like last night, I was chatting to one of my neighbours outside and he told me he was going to have a bottle of wine, and I stared thinking wine thoughts ......but then I fast forwarded how rubbish and upset I'd feel tomorrow if I did the same and so I had a ginger ale instead.

There's some, great work here going on in the early days. Keep going nesters, it gets a but easier after day 7 so hang in there.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

So happy to see the strength displayed by everyone...those first few days, you just gotta muscle your way thru...then once you get that week under your belt...it's hard to think of starting all over...you have an investment. Protect this like a stack of $100 bills! It will pay off just as handsomely. Don't me moved by anyone or anything to take your eye off that investment. This is YOURS. Takes some finesse in the beginning...but just like hiding our drinking, you will become a pro at not drinking. I still say that you will be surprised at how many people don't drink...I thought the whole world drank like I did! Thankfully, I was wrong.
Library Girl...I can relate to your family situation. Got one here. I've lost 4 pounds in 5 days because of it. I wish Activia would help me but I need something more like the lottery!!! I am finding that the same principles apply to family situation as do drinking...you gotta take it one day at a time and not look too far down the road cause it's too overwhelming! However, if anyone has an extra $87,000 they don't need, I'm all ears! Bahaha. Even that won't fix everything, sad to say. I will say that being AF has helped tremendously. No one in my family needs a sloppy drunk right now. So let us carry on and do the best we can!
Happy Mother's Day to all ....we are all a mother to something! XXOO, Byrdie

[gregorino]

Newbies Nest

Greetings and Salutations to all Nesters!

And a Happy Mothers day to all you hard working moms too!

Once again, I have not made it to the Nest in a few weeks, but fortunately this absence has NOT been alcohol induced!

Have my second best effort underway right now - closing in on 7 weeks of complete sobriety.

I would be a big fat liar if I said that it had all been puppies and butterflies. There have been several times, including yesterday afternoon/evening where I was very much teetering on the verge of drinking.

It would be really nice if I could have a little out-patient procedure and have that bit of my brain removed - you know the bit- that part that just sort of pops in like an uninvited and annoying relative....

It would be very nice to be able to drink like other people drink. Maybe in my next life, I will have that type of brain, but for right here, right now, I need to work with what I got.

And I got an annoying relative!

I just try to keep it simple and remind myself that it is the FIRST drink that kills - despite the timeline that ensues and proceeds my actual demise - it will indeed be the first that was my undoing.

Have been up at 5 every weekday and putting in an hour at the gym before work. Am very grateful for my new job/schedule and so happy to be away from the craziness I was involved with. Evenings go quickly with some dinner and chores and then it's off to bed around 9 pm. Wheeee! Call me Captain Excitement!

The darling Admiral and I did have ourselves a fabulous afternoon sail yesterday aboard Chapter Two. We are planning on moving aboard full time in the next 6 - 8 weeks...that's going to be a good trick. Geez, where do you start when it come to unloading a lifetime of accumulations?

I will again try and be a better Nester than I have been lately...

Peace to all,
-G

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

Enjoying a beautiful AF Sunday here. Had breafast prepared for me by my son & his family, nice gifts too. I am just hanging out without my 3 1/2 yr old grandson now, loving it
None of this would be possible if I had remained in my AL fueled misery ~ so glad that's all history now

Have a wonderful AF Sunday everyone!
Lav