Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Cross post Greg - great to see you & congrats on your AF time

[gregorino]

Newbies Nest

Thank you Lav!
You're the bestest Nest Mum ever!
Happy Mother's day!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

So glad to see you Capt Crunch!! I'm so glad you are back on course!!! I can't imagine living on a boat! Can you imagine if you were drinking? Man overboard!! So happy for you! xo, Byrdie

[Turnagain]

Newbies Nest

Happy Nest Mother's Day to our Lovely Lav and Beautiful Byrdie!

Because of your care and wisdom...many of us Newbies have sprouted wings. Thanks to you we're flying high in the AF skies!

[Turnagain]

Newbies Nest

heya Capn' Grego....

I'm happy to see you posting again. It's nice to have you around, you know? That's great you and the Admiral will be living on the water. There is something quite liberating about simplicity. Steady as she goes, sir.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Gosh, turn, what a nice thing to say to us! Thank you so much! I have no words (for once)! XO, Byrdie

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Me either Byrdie - for a change :H

Just dropping in to wish everyone a safe night in the nest

Lav

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

Second that Happy Nest Mother's Day guys. I really appreciate you two sticking around in here encouraging and advising everyone....

Hi all,

Well, I am back. I hope for good. I mean, I am still in Thailand but I hope I'm back here for good. Entirely predictably - as this is my pattern - I did ok drinking moderately for awhile there - not drinking daily, only having a couple when I did. Then, the last two days I have drunk so much today I feel horrendously ill. It was an all-day drinking affair. That is unusual for me but it was a free-drinks fancy buffet brunch that morphed into more wine out in the evening. I feel horrendous. And mad at myself that I will waste another precious day here just feeling too hungover to do anything, especially in the heat.

But I *feverently* hope that I am done. I am sick to death of the on-off cycle. It's sooo pointless. Bryd lady, I read your post on moderating today and you are so right. it just does not work if you are a problem drinker.

I think I would despair that I can really do it this time but I feel pretty determined and it helps me that - as I've mentioned here before - I spent nearly a year "trying to" quit smoking before I finally accepted I just couldn't smoke - ever. Here I am at over a year and sooo happy not to be a smoker.

I will say one thing I really noticed last night even in my drunkenness - was just how AWFUL drunk people really are! There was this one guy in particularly, normally lovely, but being just such an utter prick to the wait staff/taxi drivers in his extreme drunkenness. Even though I was drunk too I was utterly mortified by his behaviour but I was probably not much better in different ways - not rude to people but slurring and stupid. Yuck.

Well done all of you who've been hanging in there not drinking. Don't doubt the rightness of your decision for a minute. Here I am feeling sick, bloated, head aching, disgusting... for what?

L x

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

Roonifered, just reading back over posts and re your friend who is not supportive... I've been amazed at how even my most normally lovely/supportive friends have not been that supportive with the exception of two terrific people. They fall into one of two categories... dissmisive and not getting it... like "oh you don't have a problem - just moderate" Or downright NOT supportive. One friend, when I was trying to have a month off, simply seemed to not want to see me at all during that time. We have NEVER not drunk together. There is not one time we have hung out without booze being involved. Then, when I started drinking again she said things like "Oh, don't you feel so much better now you're drinking again. That's what life is all about right?"

Can I add that I'd told this friend I was having serious issues with anxiety/depression and that I felt much better when I don't drink.

I have simply "downgraded" that "friend" in my head as someone who does not have my best interests at heart as I think you should with your friend.

I think the people who are most unsupportive always have a problem themselves. The ones who minimise just simply don't get it but may mean well. I think we need to learn to avoid the first category and shrug off the second. Or, in my case, with one dear friend who keeps minimising - the best latest thing was telling me maybe I just needed to give up wine and drink vodka instead??? WTF? With her I think I need to sit down and spell it all out.

I guess the question is, is this a friendship you otherwise really value? If not, cut it off.

Right. And with that I must go feed my poor hungover body/brain.:upset:

[noodle]

Newbies Nest

Hello there fellow nesters - just a quickie hello - on a course at the mo so not able to get on the site. Just wanted to say I've just started reading "How to control your drinking" by Alan Carr, and so far it's fantastic - got great hopes with it - I'll let you know how it goes.
Love to all xxxxxxxxx

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

Hi LillyE, nice to meet you! I hope your hangover goes away soon! Must be so exciting to be in Thailand!

About the friends thing, yes, I have come to the conclusion that my friendship with her is on a slow train out of town. Unfortunately all of her relationships with "friends" are based on some sort of benefitting factor for her. In our case, I kept her company at the bar. I don't hate her, and I don't expect her to understand everything, but getting support from her has been and will continue to be very difficult as long as she needs a drinking buddy :-(

On a brighter note, today marks ONE WEEK AF. I've been here many times before, so don't pat me on the back just yet. It's Monday, and back to work. Believe it or not, weekdays are the most tempting to me, not the weekends. There's nothing like getting off work and meeting friends at the bar to socialize afterwards. This week, I'm replacing the bars with the gym. I bet I will save a lot of money too.

Anyway, have a great Monday everyone!

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Good morning nestmates! Congrats to all those who enjoyed the weekend AF and also to those who didn't but learned something and are right back to work even harder...:-) yep, that deserves congratulations because I know I did the opposite when I was trying to quit...when I drank again? I turned my back on MWO and it did NOT help. so rework your plan, and adjust your nest belts and this time you WILL do it. :-)

Gregorino, I could identify with what you were saying...even at this stage. just the other day, I was thinking "what a failure I am...." because I "knew" that if there was vodka in this house, I would have had some. I still wrestle with it. Not all the time but I definitely have my moments. Now - I do have wine in the basement. And while I used to be a wine drinker - this doesn't tempt me in the least. It's been there the whole time. I don't get it. And I don't "like" the taste of vodka. I wish I could figure it out. But, I use my tools - i think the scenario through to where I feel in a fog, and keep following through to the middle of the night unable to sleep, to tomorrow morning with the headache that lasts all day - to next week, when my skin looks awful again - to next month when I've put all the weight back on - to next year when I might be in prison for DWI or killing someone or I might be gravely ill from alcohol or dead. That's usually enough to snap me out of it! :H

I'm guessing I drank last Mother's Day - as I was "back into it" - so this would definitely be the first mother's day in a long time that I did not drink anything. I had such a beautiful day. :h

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good Monday morning Nesters,

Awaiting rain over my portion of the nest ~ oh well.

Lilly, sounds like you are learning some valuable lessons. Hope the rest of your trip improves

Hi noodle, how are you doing besides being busy??

Rooniferd, CONGRATS to you on your 7 AF days!!!!!
Stick with your plan to hit the gym instaed of the bar after work - great

I have lots of things to do today including a trip to the Doc to get something for a raging case of poison ivy
Unfortunately the stuff grows everywhere around here & it's nearly impossible to stay away from it.

Wishing everyone a great AF Monday!
Lav

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Hi Lola ~ cross post

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Roon, your post reminded me of something...if you do get coerced into going to a bar with your friends, and you order water with lime, like I do...you will NEVER get stuck with the check!! I used to get $60-$75 bar checks ....ouch! B