Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

Good for you Rooniferd ~ save that money
Congrats on your 10 AF days!

Looking forward to another busy day with daughter & grandaughter. So grateful to be sober & fully enjoying these days

Wishing everyone a terrific AF Thursday!
Lav

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Roon, just wait until you get to Magic Day 13! Something about that day...things just seem to fall into place in the scheme of things. Being AF DOES seem like something you can do! I'm so proud of you for these 10 days!!! Did you ever think you could do it??? That's the power of friends!!! I could just hop up and down for you (but might disturb the rest of the nest). :cheering Go Ro!!!!! B

[akaMonique]

Newbies Nest

Litre2;1317203 wrote: Please all of you out there who know the pain I am in send me a helpful word of encouragement. I did it before, I know I can do it again. When I was in the hospital a phrase keeps coming to mind (I can stop, but I cannot stop starting)

Litre, I was exactly where you are on and off these past 7 years. I would stop, but was never fully committed. Finally I turned the corner and sought outside help and that has mad-e all the difference. I have my first 10 days AF since last summer, and and have tapered off the detox drugs. This is also day four of my new exercise regime, walking and/or Pilates every morning for an hour. It wasn't nearly as difficult this go-round though I know there will be challenges ahead, I have a plan this time instead of just not drinking. I feel better than I have in years. I check in with my small circle of friends who know what I'm doing and they're all incredibly supportive. You can do this and you will wonder why you waited so long. Life is finally looking bright and hopeful again, although I have huge financial fears and wreckage do deal with. So what. At least I'll be alive to deal with it. I wasn't so sure a couple of weeks ago.

Rooni - we're still on the same timeline so let's cheer each other on.

I love the talk of gratitude and rewards. Last weekend I went shopping and celebrated with a few great Eileen Fisher finds at our local Nordstrom Rack. I'll have to moderate the shopping so it doesn't turn into another addiction but it felt good to even be interested in going out.

Yesterday at lunch I was sitting in my car doing a Sudoku (another of my addictions) and was thinking how much better that was than wondering what gas station I would go to to get my wine for the day/night. Lots of small moments of gratitude like that for me. But otherwise, not really thinking about AL much at all. Another blessing.

Congrats to everyone who's sticking to their goals, and congrats to everyone who is looking to make a change. They're both equally courageous.

Have a great day!

[akaMonique]

Newbies Nest

Litre2;1317245 wrote: Why not not hide at the bottom of a bottle. The answer to my own question is, I guess at the bottom there is no where else to go but up. I do not feel like going up

This was exactly how I felt until 10 days ago. I actively embraced my alcoholism and had given up. I was still working but otherwise living a 2 dimensional life of isolation and drinking. Some weekends I didn't leave my house except to buy more wine. Even on beautiful days. It's painful to quit and deal with life, but it's painful to keep drinking. So why not trade one pain for another and just see what happens? Solutions to your living situation will present themselves. I'm sure there are many people who will help you if you reach out.

I really liked this article from the WSJ a couple of weeks ago.

What They Don't Tell You at Graduation - WSJ.com

It resonated with me because my thoughts had started to go in the direction of "what do I need to take care of in case I die? Finish that quilt for my son before he starts college, put together photo albums/scrapbooks for him (both of these have been on my to-do list for years but I've been too "busy" drinking); take care of those nasty back taxes, clean up my affairs so my family won't be burdened... those are dark thoughts. Fears and anxiety are still there and we have to learn to deal with them. But today, I'm OK and have much to be grateful for.

"9. It's all borrowed time. You shouldn't take anything for granted, not even tomorrow. I offer you the "hit by a bus" rule. Would I regret spending my life this way if I were to get hit by a bus next week or next year? And the important corollary: Does this path lead to a life I will be happy with and proud of in 10 or 20 years if I don't get hit by a bus."

Good luck and be kind to your future self.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

I found a

__________________
Three choices in life: give up, give in, or give it your all.


picture of Charms Blow Pops!!

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

monique, I'm so very happy for you...."I have a plan this time instead of just not drinking" Awesome! Lav says it again and again - but it really is crucial for success...I think once we get this concept it can make a world of difference.

"I check in with my small circle of friends who know what I'm doing and they're all incredibly supportive" Honestly, I didn't get this for quite awhile....I guess it is possible to do it on your own. but having seen both sides of it, I see now how much easier it is to have support. And by support I don't mean that it always has to be with people actually "supporting" you...haha...if that makes sense. I know that by now at almost 8 months AF, there are people who have noticed...and who have asked....about my always choosing selzer...and I've let them know that I'm not drinking. And even though they might not know the extent of my problem, I still feel a certain sense of committment when around them. Kind of like - since they know I quit - I'm less likely to say "what the heck, give me a drink"....and this includes my husband and son. Nobody would say "NO - You're giving up you're QUIT?!?!" but they would most likely raise an eyebrow, and I would feel like I was not only letting myself down but breaking that bit of respect that I know in my heart that they gained for me. Even the ones who desperately want me to drink with them again...I know that somewhere they do respect me for it.

and lastly, "It resonated with me because my thoughts had started to go in the direction of "what do I need to take care of in case I die? Finish that quilt for my son before he starts college, put together photo albums/scrapbooks for him (both of these have been on my to-do list for years but I've been too "busy" drinking); take care of those nasty back taxes, clean up my affairs so my family won't be burdened... those are dark thoughts " wow...yep....thanks for the reminder of where I was....it wasn't a place of "ugh, I drink too much - I feel like crap." It was much darker than that. Thank you...thank you.

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

Hi Lolab, I must thank you for your post to me a couple of days back; you sound great right now.
I ditto everything you say - that was a great post AkaMonique - one to save.
I am somewhere in the middle of week 6 now and feeling good. Done almost 2 hours at the gym, mowed my lawn and done 50 lengths at the pool. Put so much into today to try to tire myself out as I sit up to all hours; guess what? 1am and fresh as a daisy! This is not an alcohol issue for me, as I have always been a night owl but I am trying to get a better routine.....
All in all, 'everything' is better today than it was 5 and a half weeks ago; so much more energy, a nicer and more pleasant person, happier, bit slimmer, better skin, getting more done, more positive outlook - this AF shit is great stuff!!!! Everyone should try it. Haha
K9 mentioned black bags that she got from the off-licence(once upon a time). Over here, they all use blue bags and customers are jokingly referred to as BBC, members of the Blue Bag Club....haven't been to that one in a while.....
Hope everyone is doing well; I, some day, will be one of those whizz posters who refers to everyone personally but until then just take care....

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Hope everyone is tucked in for a safe night in the nest

Busy times for old Lav & I am grateful for every sober second I can spend with my family, grandkids, animals, garden, etc.

Be well,
Lav

[akaMonique]

Newbies Nest

Lolab & Daisy, thanks for the feedback. It is such a wonderful thing to be able to be completely and utterly honest here. Even my closest friends don't know how dark it truly was because I'm one of those high-functional alcoholics who mostly drank and passed out on my couch so they didn't see that side. And I agree, being open about "not drinking" and it really doesn't require much explanation, other than people who are probably problem drinkers themselves, is good for the accountability factor. LIke noting AF days here, I text friends and my sisters to let them know I'm still on track. In fact, my boss, who has been on family leave for the past 3 months (her only son passed away - it was truly tragic), and we were talking about going out someone outside of work so we could catch up on non-work stuff (we're very close). She said, it doesn't have to be the wine bar; I've pretty much given that up. (Her son may have died from alcohol poisoning; I don't know the full story yet.) And I just said, "Me too." That simple. In my prior sober life, from 1987 to 2004, all my work colleagues and friends knew I didn't drink and selectively I shared that I was an alcoholic. Another good response is "I'm doing a cleanse." and that's certainly not a lie!

Anyhoo, late and time for sleep. Good night everyone. Keep up the good fight. But it doesn't have to be a struggle.

Funny thing, people tell me at work all the time that I'm always smiling, that I seem to be one of the happiest, most positive people they know. The past 10 days I'm starting to feel like I can be that person again.

[imnosaint]

Newbies Nest

Hi all ,Im New here....Im Clean and Sober Many years.
I Just came across this site on my Net Travels.
At the Moment Im Attending ACA...Adult Children Of Alcoholics.
This Program address what happened to me before I drank...
Why I had to Drink and Drug....to cope with living with People that seemed
much more confident than me....and could hurt me without me knowing how to reply.
One of my Slogans today is...If I cant Say No My Yes is useless.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

Hello & welcome imnosaint!
Glad you found the nest & decided to join us. Congrats to you for taking back control of your life! Looking forward to hearing more from you

Daisy, I am very happy to hear you you have found your way. Congrats to you on your 6 AF weeks!

Monique, you sound happy!
An attitude of gratitude helps keep me on track too

Greetings Lola & everyone!
I have been enjoying a great visit with my daughter & grandaughter this week. I am another grateful Nester!!!

Wishing everyone a terrific AF Friday. What's your plan for the weekend????

Lav

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

Day 11 and counting.

Hi everyone, just checking in. I'm doing really well, but I know that the beast is around every corner. I am going to a show tonight, so I will definitely be tested. But I've arranged something for every single minute prior to the show to avoid drinking, so I don't plan to fall. Going out and being social where alcohol is being served is quite scary, but I'm confident that I will succeed tonight.

Happy Friday, everyone, and just think about all the great things you can accomplish this weekend - SOBER!!

[LibraryGirl]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesties. I'm just getting up and have a hair appt at 9 am. It's 8:16 now. I need to get dressed, lol. Plans for the day include relaxing after my appointment, and basically doing whatever I feel like. I absolutely love summer hours!!!! Yay!

Hope everyone is doing well. TGIF!!!!!

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

LibraryGirl;1318537 wrote: Good morning Nesties. I'm just getting up and have a hair appt at 9 am. It's 8:16 now. I need to get dressed, lol. Plans for the day include relaxing after my appointment, and basically doing whatever I feel like. I absolutely love summer hours!

Good morning to you too! Isn't is exciting to think about what a great summer we're gonna have without the BEAST tagging along with us everywhere we go? The possibilities are ENDLESS! :h

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

Morning all; thank you Lav; my 6 weeks will be on Monday. I am relishing every day I have now.
I made a decision to say 'yes' to things even if I am a bit scared; feel the fear and do it anyway; outcome being I am doing a mural on a school wall from Monday; I wouldn't have had the confidence to say yes but I am going for it anyway and trusting in God that I do a good job.
Just this morning I have had another offer; to be part of a rowing team for a canoe race in 2 weeks time; so another 'yes'! I had to name the team so 'Happy Hookers' will be making a debut that day.
I just feel so many doors opening and 1 drink is all it would take to destroy it all.
Rooniferd, I have my first AF social outing tomorrow; my daughter is heading to Australia for 3 months and having drinks downtown. I am going along with other friends and family; looking forward to dressing up and have already offered my services as designated driver.