Newbies Nest

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

Hi So Over It! Congrats on day 1 AF!!!!!! I am starting on day 1 AF (again)....I was on the same schedule as Roon but I screwed up this weekend!!!! I look at how wonderful Roon is doing and I keep thinking how if I stayed strong and stayed on here that I could've been celebrating 14 days too.......ugh! It is a beautiful day here and I am heading out to the barn to clean stalls....I am going to keep myself busy, busy today!!!!!!!!!

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Hi Ya'll!

I am here, just took my normal weekend off from the boards. I know I said I would try to post, because I was feeling wishy-washy last week, but I never got around to digging for the laptop in that hazardous waste area called my daughters room. LOL I did think about you all though, does that count for anything?

Had a pretty boring weekend, was all by myself. Daughter went to her dads, nephew went to his dads...I spent too much time sleeping, but it was wonderful! I feel refreshed and pretty good, considering it's Monday, and here I sit at work AGAIN. LOL

I WILL be gone for a few days coming up. I am going with my family out of town to a religious assembly (once a year). I'll be leaving Thursday afternoon 5/24 and will not be back online until Tuesday 5/29....so nobody worry ok? Antabuse is FIRMLY in my system, besides, a religious convention is hardly the place I'd be throwing back drinks (well...I guess I used to do it everywhere, but you know what I'm sayin').

Now it's time to catch up around the boards. Jane - Welcome back...I'm glad you're with us again. Will check in later!

K9

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

K9...glad to see that you had a restful weekend! I am so glad that you held strong to your cravings....I didn't and I am disgusted with myself. But I am back on here and looking forward to today and being AF!

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Hi Destiniey,

Sorry you hit a bump in the road. I have been wondering lately if I'd be strong enough to ride out the cravings without Antabuse. I'm not willing to risk it right now, so I will use Antabuse as a tool for as long as it takes. Have you ever considered taking it?

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

Hi K9,
Thanks for calling it a "bump" in the road....I was so ashamed to come on here to post about drinking this weekend....but the encouragement on here is what I need. I thought I could go a few days without coming on here but now I know that I have to check in as much as I can!!!!! I have heard everyone talking here about Antabuse...I am honestly thinking that I should try it. I have never been honest with my doctor about my drinking so I feel embarassed to go and get a prescription. Do you have to go to the doctor or can you get it on-line? Have you had any side effects with it?

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Hi D -

I do have a prescription for my Antabuse, I have been going to the doctor for years regarding my "issue". I know people feel differently about having it on their medical records, I don't really mind, even though I do cringe when I see the computer screen and next to my name is "alcoholism". Aye...it is what it is. Some people order antabuse online, but I'm not familiar with the online pharmacies, I'm already "labeled" at the doctor so I might as well get it there. I have NO side effects with it, other than alcohol of course! I use all my normal products and have never had any ill effects. Let me know if you need more info! Good luck and stay strong!

K9

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

Thanks K9....I will do some research on it on-line. I am always so worried that my doctor might "slip" and mention something by accident. Both my parents and my grandfather go to the same doctor along with my husband and daughter! I am 42 years old but I would rather my parents not knowing about my struggle with AL. Talk about feeling like I'm 12 years old again! Geesh!

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

Destiniey;1320289 wrote: I thought I could go a few days without coming on here but now I know that I have to check in as much as I can!!!!!

Yes! Posting on this site is helping me tremendously. In fact, I think it was the biggest reason I didn't drink when I went out Friday night - I kept thinking of what I would post Saturday morning...

Hey Dest, don't beat yourself up over this weekend. Consider it a stepping stone toward sobriety. If you weren't trying, you wouldn't be here. Do you know how many Day 1s most of us have had?? A gazillion. This one may very well be your last....

Hang in there, and look ahead at your sober life!:l

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Rooni, I remember being on the same schedule as you....we were on day 1 (again) together! I am so proud of how well you are doing but I can't help feeling pissed at myself for giving in to AL....I too could've been celebrating day 14 with you! Ugh!
Keep up the good work! Are there any secrets to your success that you care to share???

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

Destiniey;1320311 wrote:
Keep up the good work! Are there any secrets to your success that you care to share???

Thank you! It feels really good, but I am by no means successful yet. I've been to day 14 many times before, just to fall back off the wagon with a vengeance.

You know, I really need a stronger plan, but right now, the main two things that are helping me include the support I'm getting from this forum and my list of reminders of all the really bad crap that has happened to me as a result of alcohol. I keep that list handy and refer to it often. And all of those bad things happened on days when I just went out for "one or two" drinks....

[Cat Belle]

Newbies Nest

Perhaps I should start posting my goals? Gotta think about how I want to do it...start small I suppose?

[Chief Bromden]

Newbies Nest

Hello all.

I am going into rehab in a few weeks to sort out my alcohol related problems.

I have been reading this site for days, and also finished reading "The End of My Addiction" (and related studies).

Self employed, suffering from severe anxiety and hyperventilation, I fell into the trap of self medicating with alcohol. Never really interested in it until about 10 years ago. From then on it gradually became a problem.

I told my spouse 4 years ago that I was an alcoholic, and she said "nah, you are just drinking too much". Of course, once the alcohol was managing me instead of the other way round, it became clear I really had a problem.

I got into trouble with neuralgic pains (vit B12 etc. deficiency) so decided that I should stop.

I did a 42 day AF stint earlier this year without consulting anyone (not clever, I learned), felt so much better, but fell off the wagon after the pains came back and some more financial trouble. The detox was pretty easy (coming from 1 bottle of scotch to 0 on day 1), and took about 5 days. Blood tests after 40 days were near perfect for my age.

Of course, I wanted to try again. But this time, I got the most horrific anxiety attacks, wild dreams, you name it. I gave up after 14 days.

So, bull by the horns, and asked for serious treatment this time. Will start with inpatient rehab, and am considering Baclofen a "second option" if that fails. But I want to give it all I can first.

I hope I posted this in the right section, and congrats with the information you all make/made available on this forum. Will try to post on progress.

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

Chief....Wow...keep us posted on your progress and good luck in rehab!!!!!!!!!

[Stewarts]

Newbies Nest

Chief, bust of luck and stay strong.

Destiniey, don't fret, you'll be fine, don't beat yourself up over it - its not like you killed someone or robbed a bank.

I also was good until the weekend. I drank some beers Saturday during the game, but did know when to stop. A girl I'm dating met up with us and we eventually went out for a light dinner. I knew it was time to stop and she had a margarita. I could tell she would've liked to stay out, but I didn't want to drink anymore, so we called it a night. I thank for another lovely evening, but she has not gotten back to me yet (kind of weird, I think...) ?!?

Sunday, for some reason I don't know why, I had two glasses of red wine at brunch with my parents. No big deal, right, but it didn't have the greatest effect ony my run later. It took me a while to get going, I could tell I was also very dehydrated, not sure I was eating terribly well over the weekend and I have been losing weight.

My goal, not drink during the week....and I do have to meet an old friend later... yikes!

[SAUSAGE]

Newbies Nest

Quick hello from me

All the beat with your rehab Chief let us know how it goes if you can.

Rooney wow keep going, day 14! You are really stacking up those days now!

Stewarts , Destiniey, Cat and everyone else, never give up, keep going you will get there. I had so many day 1 and day 2's and now I'm on day 88.