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    Newbies Nest

    Destiniey and roonie, don't apologzie and don't be ashamed - I know we all feel that way when we feel we failed ourselves...you should never have to apologize to this group.

    Well, as I was noticing alcohol, even a little, was affecting my depression, I stopped. I was feeling really blue, still from that whole event with the friend. I then decided to go to the gym, when I noticed it wasn't raining anymore, I decided to go home and go on a run...run some hills. So, I changed, ran back to Central Park and did my hill workout through the damp,misty NYC twighlight...I felt great afterwards! Everything seemed to come to focus and I felt optimisitic. I even went out to a bar to watch the Rangers game...I ordered dinner, some chips, and did not have one ounce of alcohol.

    When I got back, I past out (from excercise and work) while watching TV. When I got up to go to bed, the events started bothering me again and I went to my therapist...I should just sum this up...I finally heard back from my friend...it was like a weight was lifted...she had been traveling and busy and was hoping I was well.. this whole thing is alcohol related though, well, one she was idiot being plastered and as for me, everytime I've been in situations likes this, I was always in the wrong and alcohol was usually part of it...anyway...I am feeling much better now...

    didn't drink watching the game
    heard from my friend I thought I lost....(who I have not written back to yet...hehehe ;-) )

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      Newbies Nest

      Stewarts....thanks for the kind words! I am glad that things seem to be looking up for you. So you're a Ranger fan....I am an Islanders girl! Ha! Hubby had season tickets to Nassau Colliseum...I am originally from Long Island....born and raised there but had to move when my small whaling town disappeared and turned into "The Hamptons"..ha! The only thing I miss is the ocean....I could hear it from my house on a clear night!!!! Oh well....I do hit the beaches here but it is a 2 hour trek away...not a 5 minute drive! Take care and I hope things keep looking up for you!
      AB Club Member
      AB Start Date - 7/25/12

      10 Months AF - 5/24/13 :yay:


      :heart:I would rather be addicted to my horses than alcohol:heart:

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        Newbies Nest

        So happy to see the new faces here. Sausage is right, many people don't post, but read every day...every post matters, so we are so glad you've joined us. We are living proof that quitting AL can be done successfully! Just gotta get your head right, and one of the ways to do that is to fall out of the nest and see how quick the Demon returns!! So buckle up!
        I am going to be out of pocket for a few days while my brother is having spinal surgery..I will try and check in as best I can...so don't worry that I'm off somewhere pouring poison down! I will not cave in no matter what and no matter who!!
        Be strong tonight! Byrdie
        All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
        Tool Box
        Newbie's Nest

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          Newbies Nest

          Day four is horrible and I'm not even there yet.
          Still on day three... Trying for seven. Can't even conceive of 89.....
          I wish I were some one else right now
          On My Own Way Out Since May 20, 2012
          *If you think poorly of yourself, you can fail with a clear conscience.
          https://www.mywayout.org/community/f11/tool-box-27556.html tool box
          https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-30074.html newbie nest

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            Newbies Nest

            I was too hungover from last night, so I rationalized some self-medication as soon as I got off work today. I've been diagnosed bipolar before, but I don't buy it. the psych drugs never did anything but make it worse. I picked up a glucometer and I clearly have reactive hypoglycemia, no doubt a result of being raised on sugar. the alcohol obviously makes it worse and amplifies the cravings in a vicious cycle. I've tried intensive amino supplementation following Larson's program with little success. I'm now trying a simpler approach - (s)low carb gluten free diet, l-glutamine 5g/3x/day, green tea, and talking to people... which brought me here. I'm a loner, former tripper/roller, long time pothead, turned synhead, turned alcoholic. I'm certain the synthetics (JWH etc) fried my GABA receptors (CB agonists nuke GABA) which is why I've developed anxiety if I don't drink. my new regimen helps, but not for the psychological angle - being a loner. I don't really have anyone left to talk to about all this. on reading the threads here, I'm optimistic that I will find support here. for this I am most appreciative.

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              Newbies Nest

              Kradle, good job on day 3.:goodjob: Don't despair. You've posted some good advice for others, and I know that you have the strength to do this. Hang tough and keep posting!:l

              Rooni, I'm sorry you had a setback. I know you were very proud of your "days". The good thing is, you're back here posting and can start racking up more days ASAP.

              K9, yes you will probably be banned from the library for life.:H As long as you pay to replace the books, you will probably be ok, lol. I've lost and ruined a few library books myself. Imagine how embarrassing that is! I doubt any librarian would turn away such an avid book lover like yourself. I know I wouldn't.:l

              Hope everyone is having a safe and happy night in the Nest.

              LG


              "I like people too much or not at all."
              Sylvia Plath

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                Newbies Nest

                Ekawo....Wow...you have alot going on! I also take L-glut and also Milk Thistle, Kudzu, Omega 3 and Magnesium. I hope that you find something to help ease your anxiety when you don't drink. Posting on here and reading what other people are going through is a HUGE help. There is a comfort in knowing that you are not alone.
                AB Club Member
                AB Start Date - 7/25/12

                10 Months AF - 5/24/13 :yay:


                :heart:I would rather be addicted to my horses than alcohol:heart:

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                  Newbies Nest

                  Thanks for the positive feedback today.day 4 was a success! Will be on tomorrow.Gnite all...

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                    Newbies Nest

                    Kradle....congrats on day 3!!!!!! I have always found day 3 & 4 very tough that's why I am back here on day 1.....Grrrrrrr! Good luck..we are all cheering for you!!!!!!!
                    AB Club Member
                    AB Start Date - 7/25/12

                    10 Months AF - 5/24/13 :yay:


                    :heart:I would rather be addicted to my horses than alcohol:heart:

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                      Newbies Nest

                      Bent.....that is AWESOME!!!!!!!! 4 days AF.....WooHoo!!!!!!!!!!
                      AB Club Member
                      AB Start Date - 7/25/12

                      10 Months AF - 5/24/13 :yay:


                      :heart:I would rather be addicted to my horses than alcohol:heart:

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                        Newbies Nest

                        Ekawo, I developed severe anxiety when I was not drinking as well. I never drank during the day to help with it, but thought something was terribly wrong with me because I was shaking, worse and worse over the years, felt like I would have a panic attack at any moment, etc. Turns out it was the alcohol. That's it. After I quit completely, the anxiety went away as well. Maybe that will help you too. Welcome, by the way, and come here often!

                        LG


                        "I like people too much or not at all."
                        Sylvia Plath

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                          Newbies Nest

                          Made it through day 4... I think

                          It's around 6 pm here in California and I am wrapping up work for the day.

                          Feeling pretty good, but sorta overly hyper and anxious, but mentally fatiqued at the same time (if that makes sense)

                          I am not really craving AL but realizing that I have at least 4 hours till bedtime. I am too tired to work but too high strung to relax. The idea of just catching a nice buzz and making everything go all warm and fuzzy sounds pretty seductive right now...

                          Ha! No thanks AL! I'm going to go for a walk, brewing up same tea and Improvising at the piano for a bit instead.

                          Talk to you all soon.

                          -MM

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                            Newbies Nest

                            Thanks LB; thanks Dest for the much needed supported. I just feel wrecked tonight for some reason and then to top it off ( and I swear I am not making this up) as I was checking the nest my twins who r tenn come tearing into my room screaming " mommy, mommy look what we found! who is she? What is she doing? do you know her?". Well Jesus Mary & Joseph they hand me these 4 very old polaroids of some young gal doing the solo vagina who-ha this way and that way thing probably for her boyfriend and clearly in the office off our kitchen and by the dates on the back they are from 1982....I think. They were incredibly explicit... Like Debbie does Dallas explicit (not that i ever saw that movie ) Geez, louise! So here I am explaining 20 year old porn to my ten year olds .. Now tell me I don't want a very large rum and tonic right about now....

                            ps: they found them shoved up under a bottom drawer in the upstairs bathroom we hardly ever use because one of them though her sister had hidden her Chewey bar there. GROSS!!!!!
                            On My Own Way Out Since May 20, 2012
                            *If you think poorly of yourself, you can fail with a clear conscience.
                            https://www.mywayout.org/community/f11/tool-box-27556.html tool box
                            https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-30074.html newbie nest

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                              Newbies Nest

                              Good evening Nesters!

                              Hello & welcome music man & Ekawo!
                              So glad you found us, please settle in for a while.

                              Let me tell you - I was the queen of anxiety & chronic depression, panic attacks - the whole nine yards. All of that is GONE now & I am so grateful.
                              Guzzling white wine while on Lexapro damn near did me in.......
                              btw - antidepressants don't lessen your desire to drink. I did much better when I dumped the Lexapro & started on a St John's Wort combo product called Amoryn. It helped me so much within a few months of starting that I was able to quit drinking entirely. I have fallen for newer & healthier ways to kick back these days, love guided meditation
                              Wishing you both the best!

                              Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest - just hang on because each day gets just a little better
                              Lav
                              AF since 03/26/09
                              NF since 05/19/09
                              Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

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                                Newbies Nest

                                Kradle.....Omgod!!!!!!!! That's all I can say....Omgod!!!!! Stay strong...tomorrow is a new day!!!!!!
                                AB Club Member
                                AB Start Date - 7/25/12

                                10 Months AF - 5/24/13 :yay:


                                :heart:I would rather be addicted to my horses than alcohol:heart:

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