Newbies Nest

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

Oh gosh, I am so sorry to hear about your brother. I sure hope your sis-in-law can find the courage to get sober and deal with her husband and kids with a clear head through this bad time.

And I hear you loud and clear about the "this could be me" statement. Alcohol is poison to our bodies and causes all kinds of damage, including cancer.

Peace and love be with you, Yogamom....

:l:l:l:l

[Kradle123]

Newbies Nest

Hii Yoga Mom:

Are you the youngest? Do you have any other siblings? Though I am no longer close with my sisters I often wonder how I would be if one of them were to tell us they didn't have that long.
I do not have much advice other than I see your name is Yogamom so right there I see you have 2 tools to help you through: Yoga and your babies. Oh...and The Nest.
I too am having a wrteched day but coming here and finding you and the others, all staying strong in the face of it all- what a gift. Perhaps you can introduce your sister in Law to MWO.
Just a thought.
As K9 says: Stay in he Nest (Though I see she is headng out for good times without us on holdiay

LOL Some of us are stuck at home building rope swings and zip lines...
XXOO Here for you Yoga-Namaste

[Kradle123]

Newbies Nest

Hi To Roon:
I know I just posted but I went back a bit and wanted to post on your 'friends' issue. Thsi is near and dear to me as well. In fact I almost started a thread becasue I am really confused. My frinds are Kristin and Larry and I adare them. They have twin girls like me who are of course best frinds and Kristin drinks like a fish which I did and we all just had a blast. But last year for a variety of reasons I cut her off and that was awful and the kids didn't get it and I knwo she didn't really get it either..long weird story. Anyway, last July I came back and we are all one big happy family togther minus the crazy crappy drinking parties which were to infinity and beyong and witness on more than one occasion by my 13 year old son. Th etwins are always so busy they seems clueless...but who knows. I doubt it.
So here I am, Summer a approaching, Boats in the Water, Pools going up, swings and sleep overs...Shit! I DO have a ton of fun with Kristin. I just adore her though she is a 'Lushy Love' drunk as someone here so beautifuly put it. I call her Lugubrious which was one of my mom's favorite words. So what to do -what to do. I have no intension of revising those crazy drunkin indulgences and I don't think she does either. We do talk about our drinking. That is good but I always get the feeling she is one step away from exploding at me for drinking tea now or water...And to be frank, I'm not diggin it either. She's fun. We're fun.

I'm going to need a plan. I can't go back. No Way. But I don't want to give up the friendship either. I love Larry. The Guy can fix anything and he gives great hugs. He's 6'2" and 'Just the right amount of gay' as Kristin would say! Anyway, we are all super close agian and the kids are super close and This is the one family my husband likes to be with even though my husband doesn't drink and doesn't like drunk people. Gee I married well

Anyway, there's my friend dilema. Geuss I didn't need a Thread after all. Any stories and or advice is greatly appreciated. Time is running out! The Sun is finally here !

PS: They are heading out this weekend wih another family and I must admit I am jealous. And I know the drinking will be frull throttle... Hate myself for feeling left out./ My kids CAN NOT be around that anymore!

[LibraryGirl]

Newbies Nest

I miss it too Kradle. I miss hanging out with my drinking buddies (and my sister). It was fun. I really, really wanted to buy some AL on my way home today too, because I have a long weekend ahead. I didn't but I still feel kinda lost and bored, lol.

It's the weekend for me though, and I'm grateful for that even if it does mean no partying. At least I won't waste all day tomorrow!

LG

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

Hi nesters; just a quick check-in here.
Haven't been about much as I am busy, busy.....got a job painting an outdoor mural and been hard at it all week. Couldn't believe I had to down tools at 3.30 today as it was so hot I just couldn't do any more. There wasn't a breeze today - beautiful.
Still going strong AF - 45 days done....so many changes already. I'll get more time to post next week; just wanted to say hi and to wish you all well......
Time for bed

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

Yogamom....I am sooooo sorry to hear about your brother! Hopefully your sister in law will step up to the plate and start looking after the kids. I am sure your brother would find comfort in the fact that she was trying to stay sober and be a responsible parent. The thought of having 3 children and having terminal cancer makes me sick to my stomach....how sad. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family! Here is a big hug for you because I think you could use one now! :l

Rooni....How are you doing? I am heading to bed soon with day 3 AF under my belt!

Kradle...Wow....that's tough! I know what you mean about feeling left out...like the world and fun times are passing you buy because you choose not to drink. Hopefully your friend will enjoy spending time with you...sober you! Perhaps that will be contagious and she will give it a whirl too! You say your husband doesn't drink...same here!!! Go figure...I have friggin pickled myself in vodka all these years and the hubby is as clean as a whistle! Ha! Have a great night and I will be back on here tomorrow morning! :hallo:

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

I kind of knew I would would get a variety of reactions to my earlier post & that's OK

Stewarts, of course you can do whatever you want but, in my opinion, the simple truth is your posts are not helpful in any positive way. Please take your comments to the Moderation thread where you may receive opinions that you actually like.

YogaMom, I am sorry to hear about your brother!
Do you supose your sister-in-law is willing to follow your lead & take some positive steps to improve her situation? Maybe you could recommend MWO or some books, counseling, etc to her. I really hope you are able to remain strong during this difficult period of time.

Rooni, my kids are grown now but I always put them first. I didn't drink when they were young, that all started later on for me. How about if you just tell your friend that you love spending time with her but she needs to realize that your kids come first. They need a sober Mom & do not need to be exposed to people drinking excessively. A good friend should understand & accept that.

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest. This holiday weekend coming up does not need to derail your progress in any way. Sober holidays are actually pretty good ~ good memories & no hangovers - just give it a try

Lav

[SAUSAGE]

Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters

Firstly Yogamom I am so sorry to learn about your brother. As Lav has said, I think you should try and introduce your sister in law to MWO. Stay strong, we are all thinking of you.

Rooniferd and anyone else who is having problems with pressures from drinking friends. I too think you should explain that quitting is very important to you / in fact essential to you and you'd like their support. Ask if you can spend time with them in a situation that doesn't involve drinking.

If they are not prepared to do this then I know this sounds tough but they are not the kind of friends you need in your life right now. They are not true FRIENDS they are regular acquaintances who like to hang out with you as a drinking buddy.

As you go through life friends change for different reasons, I found after my kids were born a lot of " friends" drifted away as I couldn't hang out with them socially in the same way and they weren't interested in hanging out with a new mum ( it was hard to get out anyway due to child care problems). My mum found after she was widowed in her early 60's that virtually all her and my Dads couple friends drifted away after they had sent that token sympathy card. All her friends now are single, widowed or divorced.

If you move to a new area very few people will keep truly in touch and make the effort. Most people have 2 or 3 good friends who stick with them through thick and thin, if they are lucky, during the course of their life. So any kind of lifestyle change be it quitting drinking, becoming a parent, being widowed, moving etc will bring about a change in friends, that is normal. Not sure if I'm making much sense but hope you see what I mean.

I am fortunate in some ways in that I didn't have a lot of drinking friends ( my drinking was home alone) but in some ways this is worse. You can temporarily / permanently stay away from the bar but you can't avoid your own house with a partner who drinks and stores 200+ bottles of wine in the garage. That is my situation. We all have our own problems / triggers.

Stay strong, you are doing so well. Glad you found My Story helpful. Hang in there it will get easier.

[noodle]

Newbies Nest

Good evening all,
Yogamum, like everyone else here, so sorry to hear your terrible news. Thanks so much for sharing, we can at least take from that the end result from our battles with Al. No matter what I put here it just sounds flippant, but I truely wish your sister in law can come to terms and get help from somewhere, and that you all can start to re-build your lives.
Well done Daisy - go you! Looking forward to reaching that target, and hopefully beyond.
Rooni - I used to feel the way you do, feeling left out and sulky whilst everyone else seemed to be having a "good time". I know I keep banging on about it but since reading Carrs book, I think I'm the lucky one.
Last night we had some friends round, and of course the wine was flowing. I stuck to juice and black tea (not together I may add). I was quite suprised how quickly everyone looked a bit tipsy, and after two or three hours, how completely bladdered they all looked, whilst I had to keep repeating the same thing over and over again, 'cos they couldn't remember what I'd just bleedin said. I must admit I did a bit of hard analysis on my subjects, and noted how rough they all looked, no doubt the picture wasn't pretty this morning either:H Gloat Moi? I went for a posh lunch today with friends, one of them suggested wine, I wasn't remotely interested, and afterwards was so glad (again) I didn't. After lunch had a drive up to an art exhibition I've been waiting to see, leaving most to continue piling on a few more pounds and gaining purple teeth and lips, whilst waves of self pity no doubt descend. That sounds bitchy but with sober eyes, none of it looked that appealing once the wine started to flow and take its effects. I felt so glad to be out of it (AL that is) and free from its clutches.
Although I have no desire to drink, I do feel an "empty space", like a void in my life, but not in a bad way, I guess that I'm just filing time that wasn't free to me before, and that is soooo weird.
Overall, so happy to be FREE, I got my body and soul back, I never thought I would.
Wishing everyone a lovely sober weekend :h

[SAUSAGE]

Newbies Nest

Yes Noodle, I love analysing / watching other drinkers when I am out and sober myself. Noting how much they have and thinking "won't you feel rough in the morning! It is quite an eye opener and as you say they become really boring / slurred speech / repetitive after a while!

Glad you found Allen Carrs book so good ( saw your other thread). I've read it and the Jason Vale book too. I've found both v useful. They are subtly different but written in a similar style.

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

Hi everyone, I woke up with a headache, at first assumed I had a hangover, and then suddenly realized that it was just a headache. No hangover! I am very grateful for that!

Thanks for your replies about drinking friends.

Lav - just wanted to say that I think you meant to direct your last comments about drinking and kids to Kradle. I don't have a husband or kids, which may or may not make this easier. Actually, after reading Kradle's post about her friends and how her kids and husband are connected to them, I think that situation sounds much harder than mine. I mean, sure, I have other issues to deal with being single that you guys don't have, but still....

Sometimes I think having a family would make this getting sober thing easier because someone is there to hold you accountable, you know? I can come home trashed every night, and no one would know it except me.

Being single, drinking has always been a social thing for me. I meet my friends out to drink, socialize, and get out of the house. I work from home some, so it makes it even more important to have these interactions. Now I just have to slowly incorporate non-drinking activities into my life and surround myself with people who don't live to drink. I think joining the fitness boot camp is a good start!

Anyway, it's Friday, and I have a lot to get done this weekend - sober of course! Hope everyone has a great day!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

Hi noodle & Sausage - you both sound good
Watching other people drink & feeling grateful that you don't anymore is just awesome. Knowing that you never have to worry about making an ass of yourself or deal with a hangover again is just awesome

Wishing everyone a fantastic AF Friday. Making plans for a BBQ here Sunday with family. The beer drinkers will bring their own so I don't have to get involved - perfect!

Lav

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

Good morning everyone! Here I am on day 4 AF and I woke up feeling great! Last night was the first night with no night sweats and a lot less tossing and turning....it was amazing! I am so excited about this new life...and that's what I consider it to be since have never known a life without the bottle involved during all of my adult years. I am so ready for this new adventure! :yay:

Sausage..Your advice about how as you go through life friends change for different reasons is soooooo true! I didn't have alot of drinking friends and I worked so hard that I rarely went out so I too did my drinking at home! Although I am married and have a daughter I still managed to drink....it was exhausting finding new places to hide the bottle, where to hide my "cocktail" so that I could secretly drink it without anyone seeing me, etc, etc. It seems so pathetic when I write it down...ugh! Your advice on here is awesome and I love reading your posts!!!!!!!

Noodle...I love your optimistic outlook on life AF!!! It gives me strength to keep going! Thanks for that and congrats on your AF days!

Roomi....here we are waking to another day AF! We can do this girl! Good luck today...I will be thinking of you! :l

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

Destiniey;1322772 wrote:
Roomi....here we are waking to another day AF! We can do this girl! Good luck today...I will be thinking of you! :l

Yes, Dest, another AF day lies ahead, and I am very excited about it - as you are. If the drinking buddies start texting later, I will simply ignore them. After a few drinks, they won't even notice I'm not there anyway.

It's gonna be a great weekend ahead :-)

I'll probably be posting way too much up here, but I plan to be super glued to the nest for support. Hope to see you here!

[LibraryGirl]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Destiny (do you mind if I shorten it?), Lav (the wise one ), Rooni and ALL Nesties! Went for a short walk to the pond (in our development) with the dogs this morning. The lab decided to go for a little swim, lol. Now I'm having some coffee and enjoying my day off. Nice to see everyone here today and :goodjob: on keeping the sober fires burning!

LG