Newbies Nest

[akaMonique]

Newbies Nest

Desti: Sometimes I wouldnt make it into bed and I would pass out on the couch in my clothes...wake up at like 3 am ...

Yah, who hasn't been there? For so long I couldn't sleep more than 3 hours. Would wake up and have another glass or two of wine to get back to sleep. Ugh. Still not sleeping well as my body adjusts but waking up without the need to have a drink is such a blessing.

Rooni and others who were/are struggling - congrats on powering through the tough moments and staying on course. Aren't you glad now?

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

My friend called a few minutes ago and left a voice mail saying how she was having people over to her pool for cocktails. I didn't respond. Then she kept texting trying to reach me, saying how great the mimosas were in the sun. I finally responded and said thanks, but that I was not drinking this weekend. Her response was "oh well...."

Honestly, I wasn't even tempted....

Unlike yesterday, I'm not even thinking about alcohol right now. Keeping busy is really helping.

Go F yourself, Beast :finger:

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

Rooni.....good for you! Just think how crappy they are going to feel later on...not to mention tomorrow....ugh! You will be able to enjoy your weekend and theirs will just be a blur! I am doing really good today..yesterday at this time I was having a friggin breakdown.:nutso:

I know I say it alot...but I really can't say it enough....because of all of you I think I can do it this time!

Monique...I still have a tough time sleeping...I toss and turn and keep waking up but I don't get the night sweats anymore....I am so happy about that because I would literally wake up drenched....:eeew: Hopefully we will be able to get a good nights sleep soon but until then I will be happy with no sweats and to waking up sober!

Yogamom...I am truely blessed to live where I do and I am soooo looking forward to embracing it. I love photography but put it aside for the last few years. You can't drive around taking pics when you're drunk! Ugh! I have wanted to put together a collage of the old barns in the area....I LOVE them...so that it something I am looking forward to also. And of course I will post them on here as that is part of my AF journey too!

I won't be on until later tonight because I am going to the R-O-D-E-O!!!! Yeehaw! Ha! I will be on hen I get back and I will let ya know if I rode the mechanical bull! Ha! Life sure is different sober! :jumpwow:

And as for the beast.....you are getting weaker...and pretty soon this is what I'm gonna do on your grave...:crazymonkey:...my a$$ is gonna dance!!!!!!! Ha!

[FreeFly]

Newbies Nest

Hi Lav and all those for your kind words - I'd scroll back for all your names but still a bit shaky. Well I did it - I went to my first AA meeting. God, was trembling when I arrived - freaked me out a bit. What a humbling experience. I don't know yet how I feel about it but I know it was good for me to go. I've sat in a room full of a lot of people who now know I'm an alcoholic. I hate labels which is why I never thought I would ever go. The guy telling his story blew me away a bit. And now he's sober. What strength to come back from the place he's been. Just going to sit with the experience. I don't yet know if I could go locally or if I could in fact follow the AA path. I do however know I'm not alone. I also know I want the sober life. I want to be happy and have peace of mind. I'm very grateful for this site and yes, posting here last night made me accountable for my decision to go. Thank you!

[akaMonique]

Newbies Nest

Rooni, it's a wonderful feeling when you don't have to work to hard to put the beast back in his change, isn't it? Good for you.

Desti, yes, I'm beyond the night sweats, too, thankfully. And I'm not complaining. I'm still getting better sleep than when I was drinking and 'this too shall pass.'

Free Fly - That's a huge move. My first AA meeting was a ginormous one in LA, it was a high school gym, I think, which I didn't realize in advance, home to the famous "Pacific Group." I stood up in front of what had to have been 500 people and declared myself an alcoholic. It wasn't the last time I drank, but it did start me on a path to what was eventually 14 years sober before I relapsed 7 years ago. And now, day 19, thanks to professional help, the support of good friends, and the advice and encouragement on this thread. Oh, and the willingness to do things different.

Today is day 19 for me and it's a good one.I'm going off the grid till Monday, no computer, no cell phone, staying at a friend's cabin on the lake with my significant other (he's 14 years sober), some good food, books, magazines, homework for my therapist, and ospreys to watch.

Hope everyone has a great weekend. Take care and stay on the path that takes you where you want to go.

[Kradle123]

Newbies Nest

Wow!
Everyone sound so good on their days!
That is really encouraging but I just don't know why I still feel so pressured and uncertain. My children r great but they will not leave my alone and now husband says he has complaints... Shit

[LibraryGirl]

Newbies Nest

Kradle, I'm sorry you're feeling pressured. Do you mean pressured to drink? Don't give in!!! What you feel right now will be ten fold worse! Try and relax and watch t.v. or do something mindless. Take care of YOU.:l

[FreeFly]

Newbies Nest

[QUOTE=akaMonique;1323553]

Free Fly - That's a huge move. My first AA meeting was a ginormous one in LA, it was a high school gym, I think, which I didn't realize in advance, home to the famous "Pacific Group." I stood up in front of what had to have been 500 people and declared myself an alcoholic. It wasn't the last time I drank, but it did start me on a path to what was eventually 14 years sober before I relapsed 7 years ago. And now, day 19, thanks to professional help, the support of good friends, and the advice and encouragement on this thread. Oh, and the willingness to do things different.

Today is day 19 for me and it's a good one.I'm going off the grid till Monday, no computer, no cell phone, staying at a friend's cabin on the lake with my significant other (he's 14 years sober), some good food, books, magazines, homework for my therapist, and ospreys to watch.

QUOTE]

Wow Monique, that's a very sobering thought. 14 years and then relapse. I understand from you saying that, we can never take anything for granted. I find it hard to get my head around the fact that after 14 years alcohol can still take a hold. Congratulations on your 19 days and I hope you can feel those 14 years of sobriety. Have a great weekend away, sounds peachy

[FlyAway]

Newbies Nest

Monique--What is it with waking up at 3am? That was always my time to wake up with my heart pounding and thinking oh no, what have I done? Now I take melatonin and wear ear plugs to bed and I sleep soooo much better.

Yogamom--Congrats on making it to day 2! Remember tonight how great and proud you felt this morning.

Yay Rooni! :finger: the Beast! Way to stay strong when your friend called. The Beast is losing his strength!

Destiniey you are one bull-riding broad! I hope you have a fantastic sober time tonight. It's amazing how much difference a day can make in the way you feel in this journey.

Freefly--I hate the label "alcoholic" and think that the fear of being labeled one keeps people from recovery. But it makes no difference what we call ourselves. If we're drinking more than we want to drink than alcohol is a problem. I'm really happy that you went to that meeting.

Kradle--I'm sorry that things are so tough for you right now. But drinking will not help your husband's complaints. I wish you strength.

[FlyAway]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1323366 wrote: A quick check in...I am staying with my brother as he has spinal surgery...that was on Thursday morning...he is in tremendous pain..breaks my heart, but I know he will be better after all this. While this was plenty of stress...I got a call yesterday morning at 8 that my 89 year old dad had fallen in the bathroom and hit his head. So we made his wife call 911 and they admitted him and then transferred him to a major hospital an hour away. They thought they might have to drill into his head to relieve the pressure. We have been worried silly. Just got a call that they did a second scan this morning and it looks better, so he is going home. Meantime, I'm hanging out with my brother. I am hoping he can go home tomorrow. I was thinking last night as I got back to my room around 8, how happy I am to not have the AL monkey on my back. Yes, it would be easy to fall into that....I'm alone, and i want things to get better....but I know that better isn't in the bottom of a bottle. I am so thankful to be sober. Stay strong everyone...I will be back home in the next couple days. Byrdie

Byrdie you are such a source of strength for everyone here. I am sorry that you are going through some tough times now. But it made me smile to read that you got to your room and were grateful to be sober! It would be so easy to think that since you've got so much going on you deserve a drink. No you don't! "Deserving a drink" is not a good thing. It's not a reward. You deserve love and respect and should be proud of yourself for being there for your family and being so strong. :l

[FreeFly]

Newbies Nest

FlyAway;1323560 wrote: Byrdie you are such a source of strength for everyone here. I am sorry that you are going through some tough times now. But it made me smile to read that you got to your room and were grateful to be sober! It would be so easy to think that since you've got so much going on you deserve a drink. No you don't! "Deserving a drink" is not a good thing. It's not a reward. You deserve love and respect and should be proud of yourself for being there for your family and being so strong. :l

Ditto! Byrdie, you made me welcome when I first arrived. Wishing love for you and family.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Busy day here nesters

Glad to see so many staying put - butt velcro, gorilla glue & all :H

FreeFly, good for you!
You can count on us to support you & I just wanted to mention in case you'd like to take a look - there is an AA thread in the Monthly Abstinence Section

Destiniey, have fun at the rodeo!!!

FlyAway, hope you have a peaceful evening!

Byrdie you are taking good care of yourself, right??

LG, Kradle & everyone else - greetings!

I have worked my tail off today so I'm rightfully tired & near ready to call it a day. Wishing everyone a safe night in the Nest. Stick close & remember - drinking thoughts are just thoughts ~ you don't have to act on them
Lav

[noodle]

Newbies Nest

I'd like to say good morning to all, but been in bed that long - it's now sunday afternoom:H On day 8 - and so pleased to be here, and reckoned I deserved the most rest I could get this weekend - and it's been such a treat. Mind you, my paraletic neighbours took a drunken brawl out on to the street at God knows what time, which kept me and my mother happy curtain twitching for an hour or so - I said - "see - that's what booze does to you!" lols. What they wern't calling each other was nobodys business, punches and car smash ups, - then some kids came out crying - such a sad thing that would never have happened if they were all sober for sure.
Rooni - your house sounds amazing, I love horses, it's great to be able to appreciate and enjoy what we have, after all the crap we've been through.
FlyAway - lovely words and wishes for Byrdie, I totally agree. Hope your families heath continues to get better x
Sausage, loved your advice and wisdom, I love your posts and support you give out on here :h
As for me, I supposed I'd best get showered and dressed, fancy a pampering body scrub and hair treatment - lifes tough :H Got some family round later for a Sunday dinner and banoffi Pie - yums x
Wishing all you lovlies a super Sunday xxx:h

[Kradle123]

Newbies Nest

I can not do this yet. Left once again with all the kiddos whom I adore. I really want an edge taker offer...not much in the house but I can not get them to stop the constant back and forth. Sounds so fucking pathetic I know. I probably don't deserve to be here. I just want to go to sleep,,,,,

[Kradle123]

Newbies Nest

Okay. I think I am trying to come to terms with why I am starting this all now. I did not plan any of this. I want to go af of course but I have no plan as of yet, I've only been to the tool box a few times and I so far I am doing harm really to myself and my health. My days of crazy drunk insane crap are over and have been for a long time. So here I am almost by accident...but is it? Everyone is so encouraging and great and I'm think inking well knows as good a time as ever but the truth is I am way overwhelmed here. My husband is marriage by neglect and I can stomach that most of the time but lately I am having a hell of a time. I wish I could moderAte like normal but been there done that...
Hard to know what I want except as I think I said previously, just to never have gotten on this ride in the first place. Well the kids are playing ball out back. Dinners over. I should be so fricken grateful for them and I am but I am so something else at the same time.
Sorry to ramble and make little sense.you might think I'm drinking but I swear I'm not. At least not yet. No promises.......
Thanks for listening. I'm going to read people's stories and others posts. That helps a lot.
Xxoo
PS i'm not proof reading..