Newbies Nest

[LibraryGirl]

Newbies Nest

Kradle, I can understand being overwhelmed, but you know what? No matter what it is that is overwhelming you, be it your husband, your children or your job, drink will not make it less overwhelming. It is only a temporary relief, if you want to call it relief. After the drunk wears off, the hangover, the depression AND the same overwhelming problems on top of it are waiting. You need a plan to figure out what's going on in your life, and how you want to deal with it. I know it's easy to say that, but I could say the same for myself. I need to do the same. I will not, however, let AL rob me of another day and put myself even further from sorting things out, and you shouldn't either.:l

LG

[Australia]

Newbies Nest

Hi everyone- back again. I thought I was ok- then one drink lead to 2 bottles=binge. Embarrassed and ashamed. Moderating is something I just can't do. Looks like there has been lots of activity and positivity on here!

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

Kradle....Omgod...I go to a rodeo and I come back and you are falling apart! My poor Kradle...here is a great big hug for you :l I know it's tough...lord knows I know...we all do! Yesterday was a day from hell for me. When my daughter left to go to work at 4:30 all I could think was that I was alone until my husband came home and its only a 5 minute drive to the liquor store. I have never had such a feeling like that in my adult life because I always gave into it before it got to that point...it was much easier to drink than feel like that. I took some L-Glut....literally cracked that baby open and threw it under my tongue....gross...when that didn't work I came on here. Thank God there were people on here who talked me out of it....but I gotta tell you that even while I was on here I was ready to bolt and get my "fix". Then I thought about having to go back to day 1....having to hide the bottle...having to not act like I have been drinking....waking up feeling like crap both physically and mentally. Plus I knew that if I had one drink it would f*ck up my whole weekend because I am not strong enough to pour anything down the drain so I would've drank my weekend away. I had a great day today and got alot accomplished in the house and my barn...I had an awesome time at the rodeo and I am going to have a great day tomorrow. If I drank I would've laid on the couch feeling sorry for myself and feeling disgusted with myself. I would've started drinking early to numb the pain and I would've had to cancel my plans for the rodeo and my then I would have to deal with my husband...ugh! At least when I am AF he keeps his mouth shut! LOL
I know it seems like I am rambling but I figured if I told you my story that maybe you could relate and realize you are not alone...I am right there with you girl! Please have a good night and get some rest...tomorrow will be better!:h

[ronnie]

Newbies Nest

Hi all, Australia im back again as well, i know where you are comming from with modding i wish i could modd but it just isnt for me.
Greast post destiniy, i can truely relate to that.
Well i have dusted myself down and i am on day 2. I am only going to set myself small goals as i find that easier for me. My first goal is getting to 7 days.

[Australia]

Newbies Nest

Well done Ronnie- you must already feel better on day 2!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

Looks like a damp day ahead here on the East coast - oh well. Just hope I don't get hit by lightening when griling this afternoon. Lots of BBQs will be a wash out

Welcome back Australia & Ronnie!
Stick with us now

Destiniey, god for you thinking all the way through.......picking up that first drink never ends well.

Kradle, hope yuo were able to hang tough as well!

Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Sunday!
Lav

[Australia]

Newbies Nest

Thank Lav- it means a great deal to me to hear your kind words! I need to really stick with you- with major velcro. Fingers crossed for no rain. Welcome back Ronnie too, and the others- nice to meet you.

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

I see some new (at least new to me) faces, some struggling faces, some confident faces, and some "I'm not sure about this, but I'm gonna try" faces.....

That's what's so interesting about this forum. We're from all over the world, and we all have different problems, life styles, families, jobs, etc. But the one common thread here is that we're all addicted to the beast. Just goes to show you that the beast doesn't pick and choose his victims. Anyone and everyone is fair game. What an insidious little bastard.

I think I got the beast analogy from the Rational Recovery movement. I think it works well for me, because I can put a face on alcohol. I can see him sulking right now in his cage, just waiting for me to let him out.

Someone said one time "The beast wants to kill you, but he'll be satisfied just ruining your life."

We are all here because we don't want to die or have a ruined life. I am too smart to let that happen. The blinders have been removed now. I cannot drink. Just can't.

I've been thinking about what Dest said: "I have never had such a feeling like that in my adult life because I always gave into it before it got to that point...it was much easier to drink than feel like that."

If you are struggling, then you KNOW you have a problem with alcohol, and you are heading in the right direction. You have already boarded the sober train for the next haul. If you just give in to the craving without a thought, then you haven't even gotten to the train station yet.

Off to a great Sunday.

[Australia]

Newbies Nest

Nice post ronni - I can't agree more! They only solution is to never drink. It's like the rabbit hole byrdie speaks of. Well done on 4 days.

[LibraryGirl]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Australia and welcome. Good morning Lav, I hope your bbq doesn't get rained out too! It does look cloudy here on the east coast, but I have not read or watched any weather predictions this morning. Morning Destiny, you are sounding so positive lately, and offering good advice. Rooni, you have had some excellent words of wisdom these past few days, and I love reading your posts. I know I gave into the beast without thinking before that last day, well without stopping at least. I tried to make sure I had enough that I never had to "crave" or panic.

16 days since my glass of wine before all hell broke loose at my mom's house and I ran out. I might have drank a lot more if I'd stayed, lol. Hope everyone is having a blessed Sunday.:h

LG

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

Good morning everyone!

A big welcome to Australia and Ronni....so glad to have you here and I am looking forward to getting to know you both!!!!!:welcome:

Rooni...way to go girl! Good luck on day 5....I am so friggin excited that I am on day 6!!!!! We go this....we got this! :thumbs: I can't remember that last time I have been sober for 6 days. Yesterday was a great day for me and I am looking forward to another one today!

LibraryGirl...As of right here and right now...(because I have no idea what the next hour may bring... baby steps)...I feel really positive. I am hopeful that today will be a good as yesterday and I am looking forward to a sober Sunday. Have a great day and congrats on day 16!

Hi Lav...not the best weather here either but since my daughter is working today we are doing the whole bbq thing at my parents house tomorrow. I am looking forward to a ncie day of riding without the damn hot sun burning down on my back! Ha! Have a wonderful bbq with your friends and family! :h

Kradle....I hope thinkgs are looking better for you this morning! Check in with us and let us know how you are doing! If ya need some glue to stay in the nest, you can borrow mine...Lord knows I have plenty..Ha! If ya need a hand getting back in..I will extend mine to you! :heart:

[Cat Belle]

Newbies Nest

Hello and Good morning everybody. Day 9 here, or so I still think. I'm gonna vent, and then whomever wants to offer an opinion, advice, etc. please do.

So I mentioned over a week ago about the problems with my stepson, and having had two glasses of wine and saying something I shouldn't have. Well for the last week he's been as his moms house, which was all for the best, a separation period and time for me to get started on this AF journey. Well yesterday was a fabulous day, my husband and I got up and went down to River Street for the Armed Forces festival, had a wonderful lunch on the river, Beignets included...(Yummo!), I bought a bracelet, and we decided to come home and have a luxurious afternoon nap.

Well, just the time we lay down and get settled in, the phone rings, it's the stepson calling to say that his mom was bringing him home, his two older brothers had locked him in the garage, a fight ensues, the mom walks in on it, starts yelling at him as if it was his fault. Then there's a txt from the mom to my husband saying, " there are 2sides to every story" now here I must tell you that she is what I consider, and what we say down in the south, " batshit crazy". Backstory, just over a week ago the kid was caught skipping school, we take his phone, ground him, and then find texts on the phone b/ w he and his mother where she is letting him drink at her house, sounds fun right? Well he is 15. His 2 older brothers, one 20 has benn arrested for DUI, shooting someone in her house, been kicked out of the army for "spice", quit a job, gotten a then 16 yo pregnant, had a little boy, is now in the processes of divorce, moved back down to GA from NC, and still will not grow up. The 17 yo has dropped out of school, he does work 2jobs but has SERIOUS anger issues. The mother lets them come and go as they please, no rules, drinking, etc. Okay so Friday night apparently the 20 yr old and the 17 yo go out drinking only to take the 15 yo with them. Their father has threatened them with their life for taking the 15 yo and drinking and driving.

So the 15 yo gets here yesterday, and my husband proceeds to call the mom and confront her about the letting the 15 yo drink at her hs, she denies it until he confronts her with the txt messages. Then she goes batshit crazy, comes unglued, says its all his fault, and that we let them drink at our house, which as much as I did drink, that is a hard limit for us no underage drinking in our house period. Then she tells him that she needs his help getting things straight in HER house...lol. They have been divorced for 9 years. He basically says that is your job, I can't fix your house, I take care of things in mine. There was a big F you moment then she shows up at our house. Well all is finally said and done...we thought.

This morning at 2:30 am, my husbands cell rings, it is the 20 yo saying that his mom has kicked him out, he is sleeping in his car. As it turns out, he and his 17 yo brother were out drinking, again, and the 20 yo, who is a good 8" shorter and 60 lbs lighter beats the shit out of the 17 yo at McDonald's , the police get called , they haul ass, go home and supposedly things are done. Well the 20 yo is lying on the couch, the 17 yo comes from behind with a baseball bat and starts beating him. Their mother and her boyfriend grab the 20 yo, who was just lying there and proceed to hold him down while the 17 yo beats him in the face. Batshit crazy right?

Well yesterday after the first bit of drama, I said to my husband " I really want a berr right now" , " me too he says. So we go to the grocery store to get stuff for dinner. He got a 12pack of beer and I got some wine coolers. We get back home and start preparing dinner, and I have no desire to drink, so I pour my new favorite, seltzer water with lemon. Drink the whole glass, then when I see husband drink the beer I grab a wine cooler. Took two swallows, and told my husband I can't do this, I don't want this. I poured it down the sink, and we had a talk. I told him how disappointed I was in myself. But it was sort of a test. Earlier in the day we'd had the talk about maybe just drinking on Saturdays. But I realized I don't want that. He told me he was very reticent about what may happen last night. I.e. if I was gonna get drunk, drink one and keep ongoing until I passed out, etc. he then told me how proud he was of me. So now, I still consider myself AF for 9 days. Is that fair?

Sorry for the novel, wanted to get the story out...


Cat:boohoo::boohoo::boohoo::boohoo:

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

Just had a scare at the grocery store. I went to pay for my groceries, and I couldn't immediately find my credit card. My first reaction was to panic and assume I had lost it drunk or left it at a bar. Then it hit me. I used it yesterday, and I have not been drunk. So I knew that it was mostly likely in my purse. And it was....

That is a feeling that I'm not going to miss - not knowing which bar I left my card or where in the hell I stuck it after paying my tab. How many times I've gone online to see where the last transaction was cuz I was too drunk to remember.

[So over it]

Newbies Nest

Hey guys day 7 / one week for me. I'm not going to sing a song.. One day at at time I guess. My heat is in the right place though. Just nervous I guess.
Yogamon, my thoughts a with u xx
Cat mom Stay strong, thoughts with u also xx
Destiny and rooni your doing great!
Lavende, like always love ur posts, they keep me grounded and on track.

Till Tom huh

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Well, the sun is out at the moment

Destiniey, I know these storms are working their way up the coast. Enjoy your ride today

Cat, do you live in a soap opera? :H
Holy cow - no way would I put up with all that shit.....
To answer your question, I don't think two sips of a wine cooler is a slip/fall. What I like is the way you thought it all the way through & decided to not drink. Good for you!
About those stepsons & their crazy ass mother........
Get your husband to turn his cell phone off at night, don't answer her calls.
Those two older boys sound like they need some reform school time, I am not kidding. I think I would keep the 15 yr old out of that mix, there's still time to save him
I know it's hard but please try to keep yourself out of their drama. You need to continue to focus on yourself. The 15 yr old can/should take lessons from you

Rooni, you had a nightmare in the grocery store. Now don't you just feel totally grateful?

So over it, congrats to you on your 1 week AF :yay:
That's a big milestone - now stay tuned!!!!

Kids & grandkids showing up soon. I'm ready but exhausted already!