Newbies Nest

[FlyAway]

Newbies Nest

rooniferd;1324789 wrote: I really need some support and encouragement. I am back on day 1. I wrestled with the thought of dropping off this forum just so I wouldn't have to come back in shame, but I'm going to confess and try again.

They say three strikes and you're out, right? Well that means I have one more chance, and I'm taking it.

So why did I fall? Well basically, my friend (who is a drinking buddy) called to say her two aunts were in town and to come over if I'd like to see them. Both ladies are in their late 80s, and one just had open heart surgery last month. I absolutely LOVE these ladies. I love talking about old timey things. They have so many great stories.

Well, I struggled with going, because I knew my friend would have wine. At first, I told her that I couldn't go. Then of course she put me on a guilt trip about it. And then I started thinking how I may never see the older one again because of her health issues....

So I went, and I drank. I drank too much, woke up hungover, and drank again yesterday.

OK friends, can you give me one more chance? I swear I want to do this more than anything in the world. I said this after my slip last week, and I will say it again - I cannot be around my friends who drink right now. I just can't. I won't.

Anyway, I come back to the nest in shame, if you'll have me...

:sorry:

Rooni if the rule was 3 strikes and you're out, most of us would be out. I know I would. You get as many chances as you need. The important thing is that you're back and you want this.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

I believe it is 'all or nothing' for the majority of us

The hope/concept of learning to drink moderately after you've crossed that line is just not possible, IMHO.
Even Roberta Jewel turned to abstinence when she realized moderation was too difficult.
Take heart in knowing that if you develop a true sence of gratitude for your sobriety you will will be missing nothing

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Hi Everyone!

I have about 10 pages to catch up on...but I just wanted to let everyone know that I'm back!!! I had a good time with my family and at our convention. Since I don't smoke around my family (they don't even know), I had planned to just keep that going once I got home, but I have to be honest...after 4 days with my parents, I had to have something...and it's not alcohol...so, I broke down and smoked again. Arrrggghhh. Oh well, I'll keep trying.

Anyway, I'm really out of the "loop" around here, so I will read back and see what's going on. I missed you all and thought about everyone here. Hope you're well!

Will check in later.

K9

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

Thank you, FlyAway. I appreciate the support. I came here committed to do this, and I'm ashamed of myself that I am not any better than I was. Obviously I'm not trying hard enough. Both falls have occurred because I continue to hang out with my drinking buddies and doing the same old thing. I have to stay away from them until I get some AF time under my belt. I am weak, and the beast knows it. When a drinking buddy calls or texts, the beast starts jumping up and down and rattling his cage - knowing that he has a great chance of getting out.

If I can stay away from my friends, I can get sober. That is my main problem right now. I need to find other social outlets.

I am trying again - starting today.

Thanks again for your help. It means so much to me! :h

[Yogamom]

Newbies Nest

Oh Rooni. You are back here....that is what matters. J ust don't give up. No one said it would be easy. But, in the long run it will be easier than being an old alcoholic who regrets never trying. We are in this together.

Monique - eyelash extensions. How fun. My dh gave me a pedicure/spa thing for Mother's day. Still need to use it but hard to find the time. maybe if I make it to 7!

Berner - Congrats on double digits. That is awesome.

AFM - Day 5. I know my thinking will be starting to try and trick me. Oh, I am not that bad, etc. but i need to do this. I was looking at doing some good reading. I read through the book suggestions and i think i will downloaod one to my kindle.

Everyone else, stay close and stay sober.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Hey Nesters. I have just glanced over the past week's posts and will catch up as soon as possible. Great success going on. I will say this with great authority....this past week has tested me beyond anything I could have imagined...and I got thru it. I had opportunity, STRESS, no risk of getting caught and boredom. I said, NO, HELL NO to the dam beast and I am so thankful. My brother was in the hospital for spinal surgery and was just released yesterday. As you may have read, my dad (89) fell and hit his head really hard and had a brain bleed. We were so afraid of losing him. Somehow, he pulled thru that. I drove my brother 2 and a half hours home yesterday and on the way we stopped to see Daddy. He looked frail and tired...like tired of living....we stayed half an hour or so and I dropped my brother off and got him settled at home. Then drove the 4 and a half hours home. My dad told me to call him when I got in...so around 9 when I got home I called to let him know I was safe. His wife answered the phone and he was coming over to get the phone to talk to me and he fell backward again and hit his head in the very same place. Back to the emergency room....another brain scan...they released him last night. I feel just horrible that he fell trying to talk to me. It was awful to hear him fall and cry out. I am emotionally and physcially drained...but I did not drink!! I know that it will not fix anything. Please stay strong everyone...I am so glad that I have been available to help my family. I'd have never considered driving past 4 in the afternoon 2 years ago. Whatever it takes make it thru this day without drinking. I am so thankful for my sobriety. My husband asked me this morning if I was thinking about drinking...he is so worried for me, and I told him, let that be one worry you don't have. I WILL NOT DRINK...no matter what and no matter who. Thanks so much for the encouragement...I appreciate it more than you know. Byrdie

[Cat Belle]

Newbies Nest

Ok question....how do y'all get those quotes and things to stay at the bottom of each message w/o retyping it every time?

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Oh Byrdie, I am sorry you are going through all of that. I hope your Dad gets better real soon. I just spent 4 days with my "aging" parents too, and it's really hard to see. They do extremely good, but age is definitely starting to set in...from aches and pains to SHORT tempers. I just have to remember to be as patient with them as possible, and enjoy all the time I can with them. Sounds like you are doing the same thing. I know you are happy to be available for them. I am like you, 2 years ago I wasn't worth sh*t after 5:30pm every day. Now it's nice to be able to jump up and go anytime of the day OR night. Anyway, I hope your Dad recovers, and your brother too. Glad you're back with us, and SUPER DUPER job on kicking the beast to the curb. I love your "No matter what, no matter who"....Keep up your great work!
Love,
K9

[FlyAway]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1324914 wrote: Hey Nesters. I have just glanced over the past week's posts and will catch up as soon as possible. Great success going on. I will say this with great authority....this past week has tested me beyond anything I could have imagined...and I got thru it. I had opportunity, STRESS, no risk of getting caught and boredom. I said, NO, HELL NO to the dam beast and I am so thankful. My brother was in the hospital for spinal surgery and was just released yesterday. As you may have read, my dad (89) fell and hit his head really hard and had a brain bleed. We were so afraid of losing him. Somehow, he pulled thru that. I drove my brother 2 and a half hours home yesterday and on the way we stopped to see Daddy. He looked frail and tired...like tired of living....we stayed half an hour or so and I dropped my brother off and got him settled at home. Then drove the 4 and a half hours home. My dad told me to call him when I got in...so around 9 when I got home I called to let him know I was safe. His wife answered the phone and he was coming over to get the phone to talk to me and he fell backward again and hit his head in the very same place. Back to the emergency room....another brain scan...they released him last night. I feel just horrible that he fell trying to talk to me. It was awful to hear him fall and cry out. I am emotionally and physcially drained...but I did not drink!! I know that it will not fix anything. Please stay strong everyone...I am so glad that I have been available to help my family. I'd have never considered driving past 4 in the afternoon 2 years ago. Whatever it takes make it thru this day without drinking. I am so thankful for my sobriety. My husband asked me this morning if I was thinking about drinking...he is so worried for me, and I told him, let that be one worry you don't have. I WILL NOT DRINK...no matter what and no matter who. Thanks so much for the encouragement...I appreciate it more than you know. Byrdie

Oh Byrdie, your poor father! Makes me sad to hear what a hard time he's having. You are such a source of strength for us here and obviously for your family too. And you showed us that regardless of how tough life can be, you can get through it AF. And honestly getting through tough times AF is better than drinking through them. :l

[Yogamom]

Newbies Nest

Byrdie, your family is sure lucky to have you. You inspire me to stay sober to help take care of my family who need me so much right now.

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

Byrdie - I am thinking about you and your family. You are such an inspiration to me. My father is getting much older too, and I need to be here for him. If he had called me last night and needed me to drive 1.5 hours to his house, I wouldn't have been able to. That makes me sick to my stomach.

[akaMonique]

Newbies Nest

Cat Belle;1324919 wrote: Ok question....how do y'all get those quotes and things to stay at the bottom of each message w/o retyping it every time?

It took me forever to figure it out! go up above the pages at the top of the page. Click on "User CP" and the far left (I think it stands for User Control Panel). It's the signature part.

It shows up as HTML code when you add color, bold, emotons, etc. but you can preview you it before you save it. Then you can update it as often as you like.

[akaMonique]

Newbies Nest

Byrdie - so sorry to hear about all the family trauma and hope everyone has a swift recovery. Huge kudos to you for getting through it AF. You made the choice and stuck with it, come hell or high water. Bravo.
:goodjob:

[AGUYFROMNC]

Newbies Nest

hello byrdie
wishing you the best on your situation. you have been one of the biggest helpers for me .

[FlyAway]

Newbies Nest

Monique/Sheryl congratulations on 3 weeks! :goodjob: