Newbies Nest

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

Rooni....it would be fun. It would be nice to have a circle of friends who can totally relate to what we are going through!!!! My bad....I didn't notice your new avatar....so instead of us searching for a cartoon pig we will be looking for a giant flower! HaHa

[Yogamom]

Newbies Nest

Morning all. I am pretty emotional this am. I am so happy to be at day 7. And scared of the weekend coming up. i had a hard time sleeping last night....thinking about my brother and his family. He is using the same oncologist my dad did and thinking about my bro going through what my dad did is just awful. I got up around 3 am and had a glass of milk. It actually tasted good.

Destiny ... A retreat sounds great. Count me in. It is nice to dream.
Kradle.....that is wrong of them. I didnt have apple care either. I thought they were replacing them one time free. Google it because lots of people are having the problem.
r and r ... I like that...you are both doing great.
freefly....i need company this weekend so please stick around!
Lily...welcome back!
Cat.....how was the facial.
LG...thanks for the recc. Of the netflix. Last pm i was stuck watching My Little Pony. Maybe tonight i can watch something for me.

Everyone else...good morning! Got to run to be the mom chauffer now.

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

yogamom....My Little Pony!!!!!???? LMAO...you poor thing! So sorry that you had a rough night and an equally rough morning....but you have ALOT on your mind right now. The fact that you choose not to drink throughout this just proves how strong you are! I am sure it is a huge comfort for your brother having you there and it sounds like his wife is stepping up to the plate so that is a good thing! Keep thinking positive thoughts! OK..you are counted in for the retreat! Ha!

[LibraryGirl]

Newbies Nest

Yogamom, you made me laugh about My Little Pony! ROFL

I feel for you hun, going through all of this with your father and your brother. I know it's a big temptation to drink and "forget" about it all for a while. That's normal. But, as you and I both know, AL would only make things worse in the end. Sending you a little strength from me ((hugs)).

LG

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Hey! I'm in North Carolina too!! Don't forget NCGuy and Ann221 are also! That would be really awesome to meet you all! Other than my hubs, I have not spoken in person about it to anyone! Oy, I know I will bust out crying!!! That's my M.O., what can I say? They will be happy tears tho.
I have fought weight problems all my life, not major...but I carried around an extra 25 pounds most of my adult life. One day on tv, I heard Martha Stewart (of ALL people) say in her uppity way, that after 4 bites of the same food, you don't really taste it any more...you are just eating it. As usual, I thought she was full of beans. So I tested her therory at my next meal. Dang. It was true. If I had a pile of pasta on my plate...after the 4th bite, I really WAS just going thru the motions of finishing it!! How DARE her be right!!! I became mindful of this. It's the ultimate lifestyle change...it's not a diet either. I became aware of what I was eating and appreciative of it. So I tweaked this a little bit. I ate the 'fluffy stuff' first...salad and such.(to fill up, then the good stuff). Small portions. I ENJOY my food. I think about what I am eating. Then I move on to the next thing and then the next. No more than 4 bites, after that it is wasted calories. I eat most anything I want, but in small quantities. I have lost 24 pounds doing this. Of course, quitting AL was about 13 of these. I share meals at restaurants, and don't care what other people think. I can get a good salad (usually appetizer size) and by the time the rest of the folks have stuffed themselves, they'll say.." you gotta help me eat this.." And I may have a bite or 2. As you know, there is MORE than enough food to go around in a restaurant. I certainly don't feel deprived. So that's my approach.
On the AL front....remember that HOPE is not a strategy. Hoping that you don't cave and being committed to NOT caving are 2 very different things. GET ALL THE AL out of your home. We are not Mother Theresa. Ours is an act with no safety nets. It's not a safety net, it's an excuse. Get it out and remove Thyself from Temptation!! Sorry to be such a hard nose about this...but I played this game with myself for a very long time and was really good at fooling myself. I told myself many times...I'm not where I once was....and that was true... but I certainly wasn't where I wanted to be, either. If you are struggling this weekend...and think that one drink will HELP you....please refer to my posts from 1/31/10 until 1/20/11. I tried it. One drink only brings another. One drink is not going to do us any good. One drink pulls you back down the rabbit hole. Fight it with all you are worth. Get to your 30 days AF no matter what and no matter who. Then we will talk again! ehehehe....Byrdie

[LibraryGirl]

Newbies Nest

Dest, I have 19 days!! Don't take any away from me! LOL

The Killing is a mystery show...It's about a young girl (17) who's murdered and the ensuing investigation...over the entire first season. You get to learn about her family and extended family and all the skeletons in their closets, as well as the two detectives who are the main characters on the show (one is a recovering meth addict)...and a gorgeous (male) politician who may have been involved as well. Really juicy story!

[So over it]

Newbies Nest

Hi guys
I'm starting again..
I'm not drunk, but had my sisters engagement where I shared in the toast..
One glass only.
But my sobriety has been broken if I'm honest with myself.
So day obe tomorrow again.

Ps, guys like how could I escape from it??? It was at toast. And quite impromptu..
There was no opportunity to ask for a mineral water.. They know I drink..
What have u guys done in such a situation?

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

LB...Omgod...so sorry....WTF..let me pull my head out of my ass and congratulate you on day 19!!!!!!!!!!! Wow...that sounds like an awesome series....totally my kind of show. Do you watch them on TV or your computer? I download them to my TV from my Wii and periodically during the movie it stops...downloads some more and then picks up where it left off!!! Very frustrating...although it does give me time to re-fill my popcorn..ha....has this happened to you? Has this ever happened to anyone out there???? You changed your avatar...I like it!!!!

Byrdie...you have not been forgotten....with all the help that you have given all of us you get to sit at the head of the table!!!!!!!!! That's sounds like a good theory about the 4 bites....too bad it came from Martha Stewart...ugh! She has a house on Long Island where I am from and I would run into her occasionally....very obnoxious. Her daughter was very nice though...a bit stuffy...but nice. Congrats on the weight loss.....that's awesome! Rooni is doing WW meetings and I think I may do the WW on-line...it's bathing suit season and need to drop some weight....ugh!

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

Hi SoOverIt.....don't beat yourself up over a glass during a toast! You should be proud of yourself that that glass didn't turn into a bottle and into fall down pass out drunk! Stay close to the nest...we are here to help you on your journey!

[So over it]

Newbies Nest

Hi destiny, I considered letting it slide... But couldn't live with a lie.
So one drink equals day one again...
Actually to be honest it was two sips only.

I haven't read
back further, but will do Tom. It's late here xxx

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

SoOverIt...I know what you mean. This is the first place in my adult life that I have brutally honest with myself and everyone here. No one in my life...even my husband knows of my struggles and the crap I have done while drunk and the self doubt and self hate I have felt. I owe my life and my 10 days AF to everyone on here! No longer can I lie to myself when I come on here and let it all spill out! Have a great day....or night..or whatever....depending on whereever in the world you are! Ha!

[SAUSAGE]

Newbies Nest

So over it;1326077 wrote:

Ps, guys like how could I escape from it??? It was at toast. And quite impromptu..
There was no opportunity to ask for a mineral water.. They know I drink..
What have u guys done in such a situation?

Interesting one, this is exactly what caused my downfall after 8 months sober in 2009. And something ive agonised over for almost 3 years - why didnt I handle things differently?

I was pressurised into a champagne toast at my neighbours daughters 18th birthday and after breaking my sobriety in this way I gave up and started drinking again.

My advise would be - "risk asssess the overall situation" there are a number of things to consider e.g.

Do the people present know you don't drink i.e. no alcohol is to pass your lips ( for whatever reason). Most people would share a toast in this kind of situation even if they do not normally drink as it is the "done thing"
Exceptions would be recovering alcoholics, people who don't drink for religious reasons, people on medication or with a medical condition that makes drinking in advisable eg pancreatitis, also possibly pregnant women and young children .

Would / could you fit in to any of the above categories ie for the purpose of this event. You are probably going to have to really be prepared to claim to be one of the above. In order to explain yourself which isn't right but it is "life" which is sad - you owe no-one an explanation - but true

If you said " sorry no alcohol, but I'd love to celebrate the toast, please could I have a soft drink to toast with, - what would happen? " You say here there were absolutely no alternatives, to be honest this is unusual. I did refuse but I they pressurised me and so I gave in it was my neighbours, they knew I used to drink as i I had drunk plenty there previously, they know id had a hysterectomy so couldn't be pregnant, I should have just pretended but I didn't.:upset: I should have said I was on medication, but I was honest and said I'd given up alcohol as I was worried about my drinking levels and they then said, "oh come on a toast won't hurt etc etc it is only a tiny bit. If you've not drunk for 8 months you obviously don't have a drink problem" and stupidly I gave in. So don't get drawn into a situation like this as it is very hard to get out of.

If there are no alternatives and you don't want to make a scene and draw attention to yourself / have to explain, then my advice would be accept a small glass but DO NOT DRINK IT - just pretend to take a sip, but don't actually let it touch your lips. Then lose your glass and drink no more and no one will notice. I will be doing this at a military dinner in a couple of weeks because it is customary to toast the Queen with a glass of port at the end, and I can't stand port and i am AF anyway but if you don't accept it they get really funny with you so I will just accept it but only raise my glass and not actually drink it or let it touch my lips (in this instance I will pass my drink to someone else who is bound to drink it for me !)

Hope this is of help.

[Cat Belle]

Newbies Nest

LG- Omg! My husband and I startes watching that too. We are totally addicted to it!

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

Wow - I can't even think about drinking while I'm doing Weight Watchers. My points go by so quickly just eating my healthy meals. If I went out and had drinks right now, I would already feel guilty enough because of my addiction, but knowing I had blown my points out the water would really tick me off! Maybe this is just the extra kick of motivation I needed!

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

Rooniferd, I used to do WWs. My initial 18 point allowance threw me into turmoil. That accounted for my 2 bottles of wine. I tracked everything in my WW food diary. I did eat but also drank. I had to exercise off all the excess points - so much work; I noticed when people struggled to lose weight that the leader would ask for a look at their diary to see where they were going wrong - no way would she ever get hold of mine - too embarrassing! And that was when I was in denial, still thinking it was what most people done.
I have been AF now since 10 April and have lost over half a stone without trying - definitely alcohol and alcohol induced snacking being eliminated.
As for toasting; this is the same ingrained thinking that society has about alcohol. Who made the rules? You don't have to do the toast. Who is going to really notice? Tie your shoelaces, choke, sneeze, shout Cheers! If you have made a decision to be AF then that has to be first and foremost - doesn't matter what anyone thinks about it - they'll get over it. Be selfish enough in your sobriety to know that in doing so it will turn around and you will become a vital part of society.