Newbies Nest

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

Well it's 8pm on the east coast, and I'm sober. I'm also bored. All my friends are out sipping on wine, laughing and joking at the bars. I keep sitting here thinking how much fun they are having, and maybe they are, but I wouldn't be....

Maybe I would be for a while, but the night would eventually turn blurry and obnoxious. My bar tab would be high, and I would surely drive home drunk.

See, my problem is not sitting at home drinking. It's going out and drinking in the bars. I live alone, and believe me, I love to hang at home, but sometimes I need to socialize. And right now, I equate socializing with drinking. I know that mindset with eventually change as I find new things to do, but that's how I currently feel. I feel like I can't even leave my house right now.

Last night I went to the bar with two friends and didn't drink. I don't feel so confident tonight, so I'm just staying home.

Not to sound so blah today, because I'm actually feeling pretty darn good. I just know that one of the biggest parts of this battle is to relearn how to be social without drinking. Right now, I don't really know how......but I will learn.....

My first Weight Watchers meeting is tomorrow morning. This is really going to be a strong motivator not to drink. I should have done this months ago. Actually, I don't think I was ready then. Now I am...

Hope everyone is having a nice Friday night!

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

Hey everyone.....I am having trouble with my internet service....lots of weird storms here! Ugh! I just wrote a HUGE post and when I went to send it I got kicked off and now it is lost in cyber land! Very frustrating!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Yogamom]

Newbies Nest

wow...my second friday night in a row sober. Very cool. Again snuggling with the little Miss. Earlier some friends (very sober) called to skype. They are in Korea. So nice to be able to accept the skype call and chat sober. They were excited to tell me they were bringing me some okinawan wine. Great. But the important thing I was able to accept their call at 9 pm here and talk to them and make sense. I know it sounds silly to be proud of myself and proud that my dh wasnt embarassed by me - but I was. So there.

Rooni - so funny - I am mostly the exact oppositie. I do fine usually when I go out - but it is sitting home that will do me in. You sound like you did a good job last night...congrats!

Good for you trying to come up with a plan LillyE. I have been to AA meetings as an observer during my schooling, but never as a participant.

[Yogamom]

Newbies Nest

LG - how nice having Friday off. Well, I technically have everyday off - but a day to just relax and read a book sounds heavenly.

Ambrose - congrats on the 14 days. Almost half way to 30. Yeah.

Byrdie - thanks for the recc on Hatfields and McCoy. I mentioned to DH and he said he was interested in watching it. Cool.

Everyone else - Have a good night! Stay Sober and keep checking in. It is helping me SO much to have you guys here. Thank you - K9 and Lav - and any other "old timer" out there checking in on us newbies helping us babystep towards getting the life we want to live. I am so grateful.

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

Yogamom....Congrats on your 2nd Friday night sober....same here for me too! It definitely doesn't sound silly to be proud of yourself....I was proud of you while I was reading it!!!!!!! I am the same way...I was able to take a phone call before instead of letting it go to the answering machine....I will actually remember it tomorrow. What a wonderful feeling that is! I am also fine when I go out....I never really drank that much in front of people. I would drink prior to going out....then just drink soda while I was out...and then I would make up for it when I got home!
That was a funny story that you told earlier about your little one and the apps....it is amazing how technologically advanced kids are nowadays!
Have a great night and definitiely pat yourself on the back...you deserve it!!!!!!

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

Ambrose.....congrats on day 14!!!! Awesome! I had a really weird AL dream last night too! My dream was I got a text to my phone saying "Congratulations on being sober...I didn't know". I had no idea how this person knew because the only people that know are the peope here on MWO....with the exception of my husband and daughter. Never in a million years could I be this brutally honest with anyone....even my husband doesn't know the full extent of things. So, when in my dream, I got this text I was horrified. I went on FB and everything that I had posted on here got posted on my FB page for EVERYONE to see! I freaked out...my secret was out. I woke up in a total panic...I was so relieved when I realized it was a dream! Ugh!

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

Arrrgggghhhh... I didn't expect my first major drink challenge to rear its head so soon but I guess I'm going to have to get used to this.

So, each year I do some restaurant judging work for these awards. This is generally pretty cool in that you get free meals at these lovely restaurants in which you *have* to order an entree, main, dessert and bottle of wine and tea or coffee - to see how all is served. Each year you get paired with a co-judge. I'd totally forgotten that last year I'd requested to this year be paired with a friend who'd just been made eligible as a judge. (They always pair someone who's done it for awhile with someone new.) At the time this seemed like a FABULOUS idea as this friend and I love to go out eating and drinking together. Well, I just found out we have been paired up and given some great places too.

The problem: Out of all my friends this "friend" is the one person who's been the LEAST supportive of my not drinking. So much so I basically 'downgraded' in my head as a friend and decided to cut back contact with her - our time together always revolved around booze and when I quit previously she was weird about seeing me 'until I was drinking again' and made a big deal about how great it was when I was drinking again. This, despite the fact I'd told her it was causing me to have anxiety and depression. WTF?

I know that she'll be expecting it'll be great that we can go wine and dine for free and make me feel like a loser if I'm not drinking. I know it will make it awkward. I know I'll also be tempted as it's the only way I really know to bond with her really. And I know - from experience - she won't really 'get' why I've quit or be supportive. And I'll feel I'm missing out, honestly. And I really did want to actually distance myself from this friend due to her previous behaviour.

F*ck. That's just made something that should be a good thing now seem nerve wracking. Sigh.

I guess no one said it was gonna be easy.

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

On the plus side, I'm babysitting my goddaughter tonight. Her dad called to ask what kind of wine he could buy me - as he's sometimes done in the past when I've babysit. (Which is really just lying on their sofa reading a book while they're out once she's gone to bed.) I just said "Oh thanks for the thought but I'm taking the month off as I ate and drank so much in Thailand and want to lose some weight." He then said "Would you like beer?" (ha) and I said "no, not drinking at all this month". Is easier for now to blame it on dieting than go into the whole quitting thing. One bit at a time I figure. But either way I won't be drinking tonight.

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

Morning Lily and Destiniey; I can relate to both of you. I had a very similar dream to yours Destiniey and Facebook was involved. My children know but no-one else. This must be part of the process. It's a hell of a lot better than waking up to find you've been talking complete twaddle on FB because you've been blotto the night before!!!!
And Lily, I too have certain friends who are lying-in-waiting for the day I'm drinking again. Some friends are happy to go out with me even if they drink - as long as we all enjoy ourselves; but other 'drinkers' don't want me in their company AF - it makes them uneasy.
And the thing is, I understand where they are coming from - I was exactly the same. I remember a fella I worked with who was going AF. He enjoyed coming out with us but each time he did I dreaded it because I knew he would see my ugly, drunken side - he would find me out. I didn't want to go to work and get that 'knowing' look. I also worried that in my drunkeness that I might fancy him and do something stupid!! I really didn't, but when I get drunk, anything could happen......beer goggles an' all! Haha
You being sober is really bringing out your friends own subconcious doubts about her drinking; she won't be aware of that yet because she is happy in her blinkered drinking world.
I have another friend who has finally accepted my situation and I thought she never would.
What about phoning her beforehand and having a bit of a heart-to-heart? You don't have to tell her everything. Think of a story you may have believed if the situation were reversed and go for it. Play to her sensitive side - I hope she has one!!!!
Good luck on that

[FreeFly]

Newbies Nest

Destiniey;1327268 wrote: Fly....on your computer go to Netflix.com and search The Killing.....when it comes up click the box that says "add to instant queue". When you go tothe Netflix account on your TV...it will automatically come up. I hope this helps! For some reason I get more of a selection on-line than I do when I go through my TV.

When you go to the Netflix account on your TV - LOL! I said technophobe! Thanks for the help though Destiniey - this has given me a challenge. I have a TV which can link up to internet but never figured out how. Perhaps now I'm sober... (do you need any software to do that??)

Anyway today begins the mind block day (day 7 that is) and feeling fine about it

LillyE - best of luck with the judging. Just wondering, do you have to go if it's going to be so dangerous for you?

Happy sober Saturday to all xx

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

Lilly - I completely understand your situation. I have been on both sides - dealing with friends who just can't accept that you're not drinking and hanging out with people who don't drink and feeling awkward.

It sounds like your friend is very selfish. She's like my friend Kim - she wants a drinking buddy and closes her ears when you say something that threatens that relationship. Whenever we get together, we drink. PERIOD. Now that I'm not drinking, I don't see our friendship going anywhere. It will fade in the sunset....

One thing I am learning, however.....I'm starting to completely not give a flying F*CK what people think about me not drinking. The peer pressure is no longer an excuse for being a drunk, fat middle-aged woman. If a "friend" puts pressure on me for wanting to get my life together, then that person is no friend at all. Goodbye. Have a nice life.

I think it was Byrdie who said "no matter what, no matter who" or something like that. A commitment is a commitment. It's a commitment to life.

When we're immersed in the world of alcohol, it seems like everyone on the planet is drinking. But that's not true. That's just all we see.

I hope everyone is having a great weekend so far. I go to my first Weight Watchers weigh-in today!!

Will check in later....

[Marc EH]

Newbies Nest

Good morning all, I feel really positive today and very happy with my choice not to drink alcohol ever again! I know I'm a better person for it - 10 days now!

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

Congratulations Marc!! 10 days is a huge accomplishment!!

:goodjob:

[LibraryGirl]

Newbies Nest

FreeFly;1327493 wrote: When you go to the Netflix account on your TV - LOL! I said technophobe! Thanks for the help though Destiniey - this has given me a challenge. I have a TV which can link up to internet but never figured out how. Perhaps now I'm sober... (do you need any software to do that??)

Anyway today begins the mind block day (day 7 that is) and feeling fine about it

LillyE - best of luck with the judging. Just wondering, do you have to go if it's going to be so dangerous for you?

Happy sober Saturday to all xx

Freefly, I was the one who suggested typing in the Netflix search on your tv, like you did, but since your selection is limited, you can do that on your computer. The one you're using now, lol. It doesn't have to be your tv. If it works, then you wouldn't need to do the thing I suggested about faking a US account, because I see now that it costs money to buy the fake domain. Hope you understand.

Dest, your dream was so funny to me. I can just imagine how that felt! It's kind of like when you wake up from a drunk and kinda remember saying some stupid shit on FB, but think Noooo, I must have dreamed it, only to find out it's TRUE!!! Thank god, in this case it's reversed!! Whew!!

I went to GNC yesterday to get some whey protein and some L-Glut. I was helped by a young black guy, who obviously works out. He looked to be in great shape, and was very helpful. I was talking to him about everything because I was trying to find the best supplements and all, and I told him I'd given up AL completely. His eyes got big and he said, Really?! I said yeah, I was doing it every night, and it was having a bad effect on me. He said I understand, I'm a drinker too, but I'm not giving it up. He said, I figure I'm doing enough for my health that I can have AL. At that moment, my bf came walking in and I introduced him, and I said yeah his father died at 52 from AL, and the guy said yes I've had several family members die from AL, it runs in my family. I said, and you still drink?! He said, yeah, I might drink a 12 pack in 30 minutes, but then I'll get another one and drink it slower, lol. Just got me thinking, this guy will probably have some problems down the road that he can't imagine right now.

So, it's Saturday morning, the birds are chirping, air's crisp (for now!), and we will probably go ebay hunting soon. My bf's getting aggravated that I'm still in my pj's.

Hope everyone is enjoying their day!

LG

LG

[Yogamom]

Newbies Nest

LilllyE, she certainly doesnt sound like much of a friend. You will think of something. daisy had some good advice. Either way your life is more important than this event or this "friend."

Marc - congrats! 10 days is great!

Rooni - good luck at WW!

CRazy dreams you all are having. Your unconscious mind at work.

Destiny ... My dh doesnt know the full extent either... Or maybe he does and just doesnt want to open that can of worms. My dh likes his beer or glass of wine but could chuck it tomorrow if he had to. He has a will of steel and always is able to muster up will power to face things.

AFM...day 8....a second saturday not hungover. Wow. Last night i actually volunteered to get up early and drive my teen to the SAT about one hour away. It felt good and now i have a little time to wait and read here and read my book while i wait. I am not really having any cravings. Need to make some plans for tonight. We just moved not too long ago across the country and i dont know anyone in this town. We moved to be closer to my mom who is suffering from dementia. And my poor brother lives only a few miles from her. So, it is good we are here, but i have not really gotten out. Content staying home and just drinking my wine in the evenings.

Staying close and staying sober.