Newbies Nest

[LibraryGirl]

Newbies Nest

chinchilla, talking with your doctor is a very good thing. I do believe that you can quit without medical help, given the amount that you say you consume. Although it is enough to cause problems in your life, it shouldn't be so much that you will have DT's. I was able to quit without rehab or meds, and I drank about the same as you, if not a little more. The anxiety you are experiencing will go away quickly once you get over the initial hangover, the last one after you quit. At least that was my experience. It might take a day or two, and valium or a mild depressant will help a lot with that. I didn't take any because I couldn't afford a doctor's visit at the time. Ask your doc about a 30 day prescription, if you think it could help.:l

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

Hi all,

Roon, I have worked from home forever - I'm self employed - and while I mostly love the freedom, and am spoiled for it now, yes, I think it can enable drinking. I have *never* drunk while working - well, unless you count a few sips on the first glass of wine while wrapping up at the end of the day - mostly as it removes all desire to work for me, but I know just what you mean. For me, I find that working at home is great if you're in a good happy place but has been bad when I'm down, drinking too much and therefore unmotivated. A new routine might be a huge help in your new, non drinking life. (Though sometimes I worry I'm permanently spoiled for office life!) Let me know how you find it!

Library Girl, cheering you on to that 40th day!! Day 30 would be a big one for me as I've never made it there. The longest was around 25 days I think - I forget exactly - but I tend to cave around two to three weeks. I think that's when I start feeling better then forget why I'm doing this so justify drinking again. That's why this time around I'm trying to spend lots of time reading, thinking, writing about the 'alcohol bad' and why I want to quit permanently.

On the hiding books, I live alone and I have most of mine - along with a bunch of diaries where I've journalled very openly about it all - hidden in this storage space under my bedroom. How sad is that? WTF? I'm also pretty scared of anyone finding out I post here as it'd be so easy to then see all the posts I've written and anyone who knew me well would recognise me I'm sure.

ISHY - 30 days!! Well done you! Does a little happy dance for Ishy

Tipplerette - welcome back and hope you stick around! I remember our interactions from a previous attempt of mine and thank you for your support then.

Chicky, welcome and so sorry to hear about your losses. Losing both parents and a longterm partner back to back - that's harsh. Good on you for being here ready to make positive changes. You've done it before you can do it again. Maybe start by telling us about how and why your life was better AF? Stick around!

Cat, what's going on? You ok?

Chinchilla, again, issues with anxiety were a big part of what led me to finally address my drinking. It got so bad for awhile there I was just looking at ALL the causes. I also started taking Lexapro and thought about the insanity of taking an antidepressant while pouring huge amounts of depressants into me. Google about alcohol and anxiety if you haven't already - there really is such a huge link. Getting off it WILL do wonders for your anxiety, even if it gets worse initially. Glad you're going to see your doctor. Do try and be as honest with him as you can. Maybe he can help you find ways to get through the trip AF?

[Cat Belle]

Newbies Nest

Yeah, LG, I'm okay. Just a bad day.

I absolutely feel batshit crazy today! I mean outta the blue I come home and my emotions are whacked, I'm pissed, then I'm almost crying. Nothing is right, everybody is pissing me off...lol. I mean, what the hell is this?

Lord just let me get to sleep, and wake up not this girl in the morning. This is not funny and I don't like it!

[chinchilla]

Newbies Nest

Thank you Library Girl and LillyE These comments are helping me to feel better because it makes me think that this is actaully possible without getting so stressed about the details of quitting.. Even just telling the doctor and finding this site makes my problem live out in the world instead of just eating me up inside in my head where the only way I have been able to handle it alone is by drinking again...I get so much anxiety from that aspect of it.

Thanks so much .... maybe one day soon I'll be able to give hope and advice to newbies that come here!

Good Luck Cat!

[Yogamom]

Newbies Nest

Morning Nesties. Day 14 for me. I still feel tired, I guess i sort of thought i would magically feel full of energy when i stopped with the nightcaps. Oh well. Lots of calls with family last night late...and i was fully sober and rememer everything this am. Went strawberry picking yesterday and with my daughter picked 10 quarts. They are so delicious. No daquiris though, maybe some smoothies.

Cat - hope you are feeling better this am. Sounded like u had a bad day.

Chicky - sounds like u have been through so much. Good for u that u are trying to get sober. There is so much support here.

LG - wow - 40! that is great!

Ishy - 30! Congrats!

Well, i have a busy day ahead....the rest of u stay close and stay sober. I need you!

Kradle - i read about your son on the other thread. What a headache. I know the pain, my son was basically kicked out of hs right before graduation. And not for tardies, but for drinking. These kids can drive us crazy, but what example did i set?

Rooni - hope your job transition works for you. It might be a good thing. Having to get up and face people in the am is a good motivator.

[LibraryGirl]

Newbies Nest

Hey Yogamom. It took a long time for me to feel energetic too...well that's stretching it, lol. Seriously, though I felt run down and tired for a couple of weeks after quitting, and I heard the same from others. Keep going and the good feelings will come.

No, not 40 days yet! I've got 26 days today. I went 39 days in Feb/March/April when I first quit, and drank on the 40th day, so I was saying 40 days will be a milestone for me, but really it's 41 days that will be a place I've not been yet.

Good morning Nesties! Everyone's late to the plate this morning!

Lg

[Kradle123]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters
CAT t thanks for posting and sorry you're in the rough place. I'm on day 18 and I'd say bat shit crazy is a dead on description for the way I have felt many many many times! Sometimes it's so bad I have to just stop and put my head between my knees...

I'm crying at Onstar commercials for Gods sake. and while I deal calmly with my munchkins most of the time, I have exploded over ridiculous like socks left on the steps.

I think I have chemically I balanced myself off so long I can only imsgine this is my physiology trying to gain equilibrium like a boat listing on bad seas tring to right itself so it doesn't tip over...
That's how it feels to me any way.

I hope today is calmer saling for you. It's Thursday . One more Day till YARD Sailing!!
That is my 'real' addiction:H

YOGA thanks for your kind words. It has been tough with Matt. He was diagnosed 2 years ago with Oppositional Defiant Disorder (odd) and while I thought at first that was just a fancy psycho babble for obnoxious preteen/teen but it is very real. Matt's thinking on even the most basic stuff is incredibly twisted. I won't get in to all....it's a whole thread in itself :H
Anyway, you're right I didn't set a great example when he was young. My guilt and shame there are profound...

But all the children haven't seen me touch alcohol in over a year and my drinking is now confined to after bedtime and alone...that's not great either I know and O Course it affects parenting as well but I have talked to Matt about the 'old Days' and I even told him about MWO (he sees me on it all the time so I had say some thing ! I think he thought I was having an Internet affair ! ) :H
He is actually very supportive. He talks about his dislike for alcohol and how he is preparing himself for high school pressures... Matt has a lot of wrong headed ideas but I am praying that my struggles with alcohol have actually given him the RIGHT idea as to not mess with it,..

Well here I am rambling again. And it's time now to get Matt up for school before he is late. :upset::

Everyone have a really calm, sweet day.

:l

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Hi Everyone!

Cat, I hope you are feeling better today! I remember those days where I would snap at my daughter and tell her "Stop looking at me!!!". Wow...thank goodness she's an understanding kid and knows what I was going through. Those days will pass...then again, they'll still come now and then, but that's life! I hope you feel better.

Kradle - Onstar commercials, really? LOL

I went home yesterday to ANOTHER library book chewed up. That's 3!!! I swear I am going to get banned from the library. I've only replaced one so far...the other two I keep "renewing" to buy myself time! Sorry LG, this must be painful for you to read! LOL I finally put all my library books in a huge basket and put it in the closet. If the dog gets into them, then I just flat give up! This dog will unzip a backpack to get to my earphones to chew them up (one time a $30 pair that I had one day). He's lucky he's so cute, otherwise...well, otherwise nothing, I love my crazy cocker spaniel. LOL

I hope everyone is feeling good today! It's graduation day here today, with winds gusting up to 45 MPH so I hope those kids are wearing clothes under their gowns! LOL

K9

[SickyChicky:)]

Newbies Nest

Thanks everyone for the warm welcome I know what I have to do....just preparing to do it and looking for some non judgemental support (which I think I found here).

Being completely sober was great, but I did miss my social drinking. I did not have any issues with drinking until I was 40, was a social drinker prior to that, and my heavy drinking was brought on by several issues converging at once in my life and a medication issue. But I am what I am...and now it's time to deal with the issue once again.

Thanks again for the welcome

[finallydone]

Newbies Nest

A big warm welcome to MWO! Look forward to getting to know you!:welcome:

[Kradle123]

Newbies Nest

Yes K9 Onstar Communication: The guys that come get you in your car when somehing goes wrong.

That commercial with the little girld crying , 'My mommy's passed out in the car and she's a dibatic. Please help me I'M ONLY SEVEN! " And the operator telling her "It's okay honey. Helps on the way. Can you see the lights? The men are there to help you!" And you hear the men coming, "She's over here!'
And then by the time the little girl is sniffing and saying Oh, thank you!" I am pulled over to the side of the road about ready to call onstar myself... :upset:


I am a sad soul, I know...Do you think this will pass the more AF days I get underneath me??
I hope so!

:l

PS: I was a mess after watching Lassie Come Home too.

[finallydone]

Newbies Nest

Hi Kradle! It's very normal to be emotional during the first few months and days of sobriety. Alot of thoughts and emotions that have been repressed start to work it's way out. I've had throw little kid fits with myself at times...cry....get mad you name it. After almost 60 days I can feel my mind healing and my emotions even out. As things even out life starts to have new meaning and life is starting to blossom in front of me. A simple thing like a thunderstorm dazzles my mind and I am appreciating life and what is more and more. The other big huge plus is that I'm starting more and more to reach out and be open with people. That in itself has given a larger sense of well-being! So happy were in this journey together Kradle!

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

I've drank this week, and now I'm back on Day 1. I don't know what happened really, but I've been very frustrated with both work and personal life. For work, as I explained in an earlier post, we are now being required to come into the office every day to work. This is after 10 years of working at home doing the same job and never having anyone complain about it. I've had a work-at-home routine that really works well for me, and now all that is changing. My productivity has suffered some, and I really hate that I can't balance both work and house chores during the day.

But work is work, and I'm lucky to have a great job. I am trying to be positive and focus on what I have - not on what I don't have. Many people would just love to have a job to go to every day with a steady paycheck.

So, I will stop complaining about that....

Next, my dogs have had a couple of nasty fights in the past three months, and another one happened night before last. 400 bucks and some stitches later, every one is OK. But I'm still traumatized about it. And I am very SICK of everyone trying to give me advice about what to do. I made the mistake of posting something on Facebook about it, and everyone and their mama had to chime in about getting a trainer, crating them, etc.

I'm just tired of worrying about it.

I'm also incredibly lonely this week. For all of you who have families, husbands, and wives, you should be happy that someone gives a crap if you drink. I have no one to come home to, and no one to care if I drink.

I'm sorry for being so BLAH, but that's how I feel today. I woke up in the middle of the night and cried for at least three hours. I talked to my mother in heaven, and I swear she was listening. After I finally went to sleep, I work up later feeling as if someone were sitting on the edge of my bed stroking my hair. I know it was her....

Anyway, back to Day 1. I've got my super glue back out, and I will do everything in my power to stay here. The beast is alive and well in his cage right now, but I am planning to starve him to death....

Good riddance.

[Kradle123]

Newbies Nest

I car big Time Roonie!
And beilve me the grass is ALWAYS greener over he septic tank as our Erma used to say.
I Have a fmaily and friend and I have NEVER felt more alone than now regarding this journey.
I can't tell you how glad I am that YOU are here..

:l

And my Damn Dog has fleas! YUK- just dropped a ton getting her groomed

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

Thank you Kradle. Yes, the grass is always greener, isn't it?? Why is that? I guess we always want what we don't have, right? Except for STDs, I suppose LOL

I am also glad that YOU are here, and thank you for cracking me up with your posts.

I'm sorry you feel alone. I guess I shouldn't assume that people necessarily have a great support system just because they have a family to come home to....