Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

Just wanted to jump in & reassure you Sausage!
You are absolutely doing the right thing for yourself, don't ever doubt that!
Having support at home is nice but not totally necessary. I am doing just fine without that emotional support. It sounds like our husbands both have ego-centric thinking & there is no changing them Just stay focused & do what's best for you ~ you won't be sorry!

Lav

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

Hey Rooni.....I am here this morning with my head hanging low. I am so pissed at myself because I gave in to the friggin beast!!!!!!!! I was doing so good but yesterday I was tempted when I went to my parents house to check on the cat. They are in Minnesota for my nephews graduation. They have lots of alcohol there whereas I have NONE in my house. So what did I do....took a few shots of Everclear which is 151 proof and then filled a water bottle with some and brought it home.....pathetic....pathetic...PATHETIC! So here I am back on day 1....again! I wasn't even going to come on here and post this but I have been so brutally honest here and need that to keep me on the straight and narrow. I feel like a f**king loser for what I did....I was so excited about hitting 20 days and I blew it.

[Kradle123]

Newbies Nest

Good morning our sweet Destiny,

I'm so sorry that's how you you FEEL but that is absolutely not who you ARE :h

Your yesterday has been all of our yesterday's and maybe will be somebodys today or somebody 's tomorrow ...that's why we're all here in this thing together.

As slips go yours doesn't sound to bad.
Writing to you BEFORE coffee because I care
:l:l

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

Dest - I'm not sure how I knew, but I had a feeling the beast had gotten ahold of you. Probably because I didn't see any posts from you. Also, when I post about screwing up, you are always right there giving me the strength to jump right back on the sober wagon.

Dest - you know I messed up this week too. So, we both did. The beast was alive and well in North Carolina this week and tagged teamed us. That BASTARD!!! :bang

There's nothing to do right now but to get up from the fall and start again. My day 1 was yesterday, and it was pretty much hell. But here I sit in my cube on Day 2 already feeling so much better. You will be here tomorrow.

Hey, at least we are at the same level again and can walk down this path together. You were so far ahead of me before, and now we're buddies again.

I thought about sending my drinking buddies a long email explaining why I am dropping off their radars for a while, but then I decided that I would get some sober time under my belt first. I don't want to jinx myself. I've told them that I wasn't drinking before, just to go back to the bar the next week. I guess I can't blame them for not believing me....

Let's have a great sober weekend!!!! Dest - we can do this!! Stay super glued to this forum!!

[LibraryGirl]

Newbies Nest

Hi Sausage. I'm really sorry you have to live with someone who doesn't support your efforts. My bf supports me in not drinking, but we do have our differences! He doesn't see that he is also addicted, to Pot! Thankfully, it doesn't tempt me at all. Does your hub get regularly drunk? Maybe the reason he doesn't support you is because he is scared to face his own dependence, and acting the way he does is just a defense mechanism. ((Hugs)) to you and use us for support hun!

Lav, so glad to see you back in the Nest. I hope you are doing well. How's Matilda?

Dest, I'm sorry that you had a slip hun. You were doing really good. What happened besides just "seeing" AL? Regardless of what made you want to drink, you can stop again now. We are just as supportive to you now as ever! Get back on that horse Honey! You are a winner!

Hi Kradle! I'm having some coffee with you sweetie. Good to see you too. Sorry you are having a tough time with your hubby too. I have not been the best mate selector in my life either. Maybe that has something to do with my pickled body over the last 20 years!? Geez. One day we will either get comfortable in our own skins and be happy with that, or that prince will come. He'll have a lot of brambles to get through.

I'm up and enjoying my Friday off. It's going to be hard to go back to working five days a week in August, lol. For now, I'm really, really liking this!

Lg

[LibraryGirl]

Newbies Nest

X post Rooni! How are ya? Are you getting settled in your cube? It will be tough, but maybe you will see it as a positive thing soon. I agree, just let the dust settle before you make any pronouncements to friends. They will learn that you're not drinking, when you don't.

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

Hey Kradle and Rooni! Thanks so much for being so understanding. It just pisses me off that I caved! I am doing some serious soul searching today and I realized that AL makes me weak, disgusted, pathetic and stupid. Those are words that I would not use to describe myself when I am sober! I wasted my whole night and those are hours that I will not get back.....ever.....I can honestly say that it's not worth it and I really enjoyed being sober. So I am moving forward...it's all I can do. Thanks so much for your support!!!!!!

On another note....how is it going in your "cubicle" Rooni. Do you have a window or anything...I hope you are having an easy time adjusting to your new work situation. We are going to get the upper hand and tag team the beast together instead of the other way around!

Kradle....I am a huge coffee drinker and I can't tell you how honoured I am that you took the time to post before your coffee!

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

LG.....thanks for your support! It just sucks and I feel like I let everyone on here down. It was just a total moment of weakness on my part...when I get those "twinges" from the beast and I am home I can deal because there is no AL here. Plus I ran out of the house without my supplements yesterday.....bad idea!!!! Ugh! But I am back up on my horse and plan on riding this whole weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[LibraryGirl]

Newbies Nest

Dest maybe you could teach me to ride, again. I used to ride as a child on the weekends, but as an adult I can't go any faster than a fast walk because I start falling out of the saddle! LOL! Must not be enough strength in my legs. You think?

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

HeeHee LG....I just got a visual of that!!!!!!!!! It does have alot to do with your leg but also your center of balance. Plus...the older I get the more I am liking my western saddle.....the horn is very handy especially out on the trails! Ha! I was a die hard english rider but like my farrier said (he's a good ol country boy...born and raised here in NC) "I often wondered why all ya'll would rather ride a postage stamp in stead of a big ol western saddle". LOL

[LibraryGirl]

Newbies Nest

Is that where the posting comes in?:H Them's for fancy, schmancy folks!:H:H

Maybe my stirrups weren't adjusted properly. I'd like to think that, lol.

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

Much easier to post a trot than sitting one! Ha! I had to learn to sit a trot with no stirrups....talk about sore legs after those lessons! LOL I am much happer out on the trails with nature all around me than jumping a course at an 'A' rated show.

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

LibraryGirl;1331530 wrote: X post Rooni! How are ya? Are you getting settled in your cube? It will be tough, but maybe you will see it as a positive thing soon. I agree, just let the dust settle before you make any pronouncements to friends. They will learn that you're not drinking, when you don't.

Thank you, LG! Yes, the cube thing kinda sucks, but I really think it will be a good thing in the end. It was "easy" to work from home hungover as a goat. I could hop on conference calls and answer emails in my PJS and red eyes. Now, I have to look presentable and be here at a decent hour. I am GLAD to be here feeling good and not at home feeling like crap just waiting until I could scoot out and head to the bar. When I get off work, I feel like going home now. Yay!

I also think you're right about not mentioning anything to my friends yet. I know I would sound like a broken record to them, and they probably wouldn't believe me. Or maybe they would think I'm just having a bad day or something. Two drinking buddies asked me to run a 5K tomorrow morning. They will inevitably head out for drinks afterwards. Both of these girls are in shape, but they drink like fishes. I wonder how long their fitness will last in that lifestyle....

Dest - hang in there today. I know you are feeling pretty down. You know how it is. You drink, you come down, you feel like crap....the cycle. Every day gets better. I should know!

I love coffee too! I'm a fiend :-)

[LibraryGirl]

Newbies Nest

I too wonder how fit people get and stay that way drinking like fishes. One of my good friends, who drinks all the time, has been going to the gym and has lost like 20 lbs it looks like! Here I am nearly 3 months of not drinking (much), and still fat as hell. It's not fair!!!!:H Make that nearly 4 months (of not drinking every day).

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

Hey Rooni...I can picture you getting an Almond Joy bar and turning your cube into a tropical retreat complete with palm trees....just like the commercial! Ha!:bananacomputer: I am hanging in there today....I surprisingly feel very strong and determined to remain AF...I didn't enjoy what I did at all and hate feeling so digusted with myself today! Not worth it! We totally have to go for coffee one day when we are further into our AF days...maybe we can celebrate when we make 30 days!!!!