Newbies Nest

[Kradle123]

Newbies Nest

Rooni I started a thread about friends we have and had while drinking. Love to have u join in the discussion. Big issue in my life.

I think I called it friends and family after drinking- cant remember the exact name. Getting old


:l

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

Ha. Yeah, total SPAM there re Jennie - Byrdie, the online dating link in "her" sig was the giveaway!

Welcome to Teezah and Callavari, our genuine newbies in the newbie nest. You'll find a lot of great support here. Just dive in and tell us about yourself

Library Girl, good call out re Dest and Roon - heelllloooo? I hope you're both doing ok. Please don't feel you have to run away if you've fallen off the wagon as that won't help you get back on it. Let us know how you're going.

OH wrote that and then just now saw your post Roon. GOOD on you for getting right back on it and for signing up for the boot camp. AND for avoiding your drinking buddy. Your sobriety is more of a priority. DEST - come back to us!

Ooh Kradle, I'll have to check out that family and friends thread too as it's an issue I face as well with some people in my life.

Day 16 here and coming up to another weekend without AL. I am so hermetic at the moment. I had a great therapy session yesterday and some observations I meant to share today from that but I have to run out to lunch right now so later...

L x

[teezah]

Newbies Nest

Holiday Angst

Morning - 5 Days under my belt today :happy:

So onto day 6 which brings it's own challenges buuuut:

Lavande - thanks for your encouragement! You are obviously an optimist who dosen't know know all my sneeky ways...lol! I honestly don't trust myself to stay off the sauce on holiday....buuuut...

Daisy - thanks directing me to Supercrew's great thread on RPM. How grown up! This is how I would like to be able to function in my life - and it's only me that can take charge & do it!

LG Congratulations on breaking the month barrier :wd: thanks for link back to Supercrew's thread.

Fantastic advice guys. Will toddle on for a wee bit yet before making a decision about my holiday, see if my resolve strengthens, to paraphrase Lavande.

:thanks:

[Litre2]

Newbies Nest

OMG has it been since April since I last stopped by, still fighting. Have moved hate it. My sons girlfriend has taken me to court, said I am a threat, then they came to my place with the baby and she wants to dropped the action. How does one quit with so much crap going on in their life. My life just is not what I want it to be. I want control again. Anyone out there, can you tell me, please how to get it back

[Yogamom]

Newbies Nest

Hi all. I am back. Ughh. Succombed on Wed night. Nothing exciting. Just a glass of wine. but...Still. I think yesterday a.m. i felt hungover. is That possible? I think I just wasnt being vigilant. being lazy and when dh suggested a covktail on the porch it sounded too cozy. He would have been fine if i had a cup of tea. Busy here with school out and not much privacy to post. Will try to catch up later. Day 2. Again.

[LibraryGirl]

Newbies Nest

Hello Everyone. Morning Sunshine and all that. Not sure what I've got planned for this day yet...at the moment drinking a bit of coffee and reading the forums.

Hope everyone is having a good day so far. Good morning Lav and Yoga. I'll be checking back later!

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

Hey everyone!!!! I am here! I took a few days off to do some serious soul searching after falling out of the nest on Tuesday. It wasn't bad but nonetheless it was a cocktail and I did cave. I was so pissed at myself and took some time off to do some serious soul searching. I have been re-thinking my way of thinking about AL. I have been spending alot of time listening to meditation and hypnosis cd's. I used a hypnosis cd when I quit smoking and it did help somewhat. So I got one for AL and have been giving it an honest try. I have also been doing aromatherapy..which I also did when I quite smoking..and my supplements. I am trying to gain a sense of peace and serenity from my core. So far this is the first time in a looooong time that I have felt soooo at peace with myself.
Sorry to have rambled on so much and I am in awe at how many people care so much to wonder where I was! You all are the best and together we can get through this!
Rooni, my dear Rooni, thanks so much for the PM and I know I already wrote this to you so I am sorry I am boring you with it again! Ha!

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

LG.....Wow....it's amazing how much you miss when you are not reading and posting everyday!!!!! I should be kicked in the ass for not congratulating you sooner!!!!!!!!!:moon:
Congratulations on your 30+ AF days......that is friggin awesome and I am soooooooo proud of you!!!!!!!roud:

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Morning everyone! LB thanks for that link to Supercrew's RPM method. That was good reading for all of us.
Litre2, good to see you back. I'm sorry there are so many things going on in your life. I'm not going to tell you anything you don't already know...but you will never be in control of anything as long as AL is involved. I said to myself 100 times....I am in control of every other aspect of my life except for AL!! WTF??? When in reality, I was in control of that, too, I just chose to ignore that. I will tell you this, if you can retake those reigns that AL has over you, you will be surprised at how many other things fall into place. AL F's up everything including your perception of things. Especially your perception of things. Give us 30 days and give it everything you've got....I would bet my last dime that your situation will improve in almost every way. At least you will be able to deal with it with a clear head. I know it is scary and you may have already tuned me out thinking that I'm some kind of nut (and I may be....) but nothing is made better by AL....absolutely nothing.
Teezah....congrats on your 6 DAYS!!! That is fantastic!!! So proud of you! Just keep racking up the days and your resolve will get stronger and stronger. Once you have all those days strung together you aren't going to want to blow them and start all over. Quitting drinking is inevitable, wouldn't you say? You HAVE to stop this. And you have begun doing that. You are taking the steps it takes to get yourself back. I would urge you not to look too far down that long road...it is overwhelming. The what-if's in life have derailed many a nester. If your resolve is strong, and you have taken the option of drinking OFF the table, then you will be just fine. It's only when the thoughts of trying to keep it under control creep in that all the chaos ensues. We CAN'T keep it under control, or we would have. We have tried and failed one thousand times. How will you be able to go on your vacation and not drink? Just like I do it....and the other people on here that know it is no longer an option. You will be just fine...remember, all you gotta do is get thru THIS DAY!!! You can do it! Byrdie

[Kradle123]

Newbies Nest

Good morning all & welcome to Sunny Seattle Finally :sun:

I am on day 26 and the sun is out so MIRACLES do happen !

Destiny my love, there you are thank goodness. I did almost PM you- was worried. I know so much soul searching in this journey. I just read this wonderful thread that LB linked us up to RPM by Supercrew: A must read, really.

Hii Yoga, a glass of cozy wine on the porch or the couch would be my down fall too. But your husband sound like a good, kind man if maybe a little clueless I can't remember if you talked with him yet about what'd happening with AL for you. Mine does not. Anyway, sounds more of an emotional hangover than a physical one. Sending a hug: :l

Room & Lill I'd love to have your input on the friends thread. I am almost a week free of my best friend's phone calls this morning (no morning calls as usual, or bed time ones) and I swear I woke up this morning thinking " Jesus, this is almost like counting AF days!! drama free days: holy cow, batman. Who knew!

Goodmorning Litre2 :l I don't have a lot of advice except to say you are definitely in the right place to get your life on track. We're here 24/7

Okay time to wake the troups! Possible twin sleep over tonight!
Have to be sober for that one - Massive Action Always involved there :H

Hugs to all

:l

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

Kradle123;1335070 wrote:
Room & Lill I'd love to have your input on the friends thread. I am almost a week free of my best friend's phone calls this morning (no morning calls as usual, or bed time ones) and I swear I woke up this morning thinking " Jesus, this is almost like counting AF days!! drama free days: holy cow, batman. Who knew!
:l

I will definitely post in your thread when I get some time. Like I said before, pretty much every last one of my friends are also drinking buddies, so I guess I should consider that when I think about how hard this is for me. Quitting drinking will be quitting a lot of those friends :-( Not all of them, but a good many of them.

Anyway, day 3 and doing great on my weight watchers points. I'm exercising, which is helping so much.

Check in later!!

[akaMonique]

Newbies Nest

teezah;1334941 wrote: Will toddle on for a wee bit yet before making a decision about my holiday, see if my resolve strengthens, to paraphrase Lavande.

:thanks:

I was talking to a friend this morning who had slipped and had some beer last night after 17 days. He was feeling like failure. It made me wonder, what is it that flips that switch. Because I can't count the number of times I swore to stop and then started again these past 6 years. Sometimes sober for 9 months, sometimes 9 days, sometimes 9 hours. That ol' "I won't drink tonight" only to swing by and stock up with a couple bottles of wine come 5 (or whenever wine o'clock.)

For me, the difference is that for so long I absolutely knew without a doubt that I needed to quit. That I should quit. That to not quit was literally risking my life and everything in it. That there was no future for me other than inevitable consequences. It was just a matter of time. So I rationalized myself into quitting time after time, essentially being a parent and wagging a finger at my adolescent self.

What changed this last time? What was my tipping point? I actually wanted wholeheartedly to quit. I wanted it. I hadn't wanted it before. I wasn't ready. The difference between "should quit" and wanting to quit. Is that too subtle? I'm probably not expressing it very well.

To put it another way, something we've all heard, "That which we resist, persists." So if you're struggling with quitting, if you're not sure you're really an alcoholic, maybe you're not done drinking. Accept it.

My twisted advice? Don't waste your time trying to quit if you know deep down you're not done. If you're on the fence, and it's a fence I straddled for years, then go ahead and jump into the drinking abyss. Get done. Get as bad and dark and depressed and anxious as you're going to get. It might take days or years. Get so miserable that you can't stand yourself. When you feel like you have no choice, when you finally decide that you might want to live more than you want to drink, then you'll be ready.

Here's another thought. We all procrastinate because we think it's going to be so fucking hard to quit. Well, guess what. We're not God. We can't project the future. And yes, it may be hard to quit, and it may be hard to stay quit (nice language - good thing I don't have to make my living by the written word), but this time for me it has been amazing. I would never have predicted that I would feel so much better, so quickly. And continue to. That thoughts of alcohol would quickly evaporate, so to speak. (Other than posting here.) That I could go to parties and be the only one not drinking. That I could be productive at work and not sneak out to my car to nurse a bottle of wine throughout the day. That there could be open bottles of wine in my house that I walk by every day and am not tempted by.

The other thing I couldn't have predicted ... Being on the brink of self-destruction has a way of taking the power out of some of the first-world problems that I was torturing myself over. Our perspective is so warped when we're in that small dark drinking world; don't trust what it tells you. I mean if you were suicidal already, it's kind of freeing to think, taxes ... big deal - hell I could be dead! Or to know that the path you're on while drinking leads to a very predictable place. But what if you aren't drinking - the opportunities are truly unlimited. Just imagine, if you spent all the time you spent planning to drink, buying your drink, drinking, recovering from drinking - doing something else, something creative or constructive or unselfish, you could make a real contribution to yourself and others. There's a reason we're here, and I can guarantee it's not part of a grand plan for any of us to drink ourselves into oblivion.

And now I'm going to get on my Rx soapbox again and evangelize about doing medically-assisted detox. This helped me get through those first 5 days and still allowed me to work. And possibly saved me from death from quitting too suddenly. (It happens, my friends; my boss's 32-year old son died from alcohol poisoning; and he only had .02 alcohol in his system when he passed. My Dr. said it's days 3-4 AFTER you've quit that are the most dangerous.) Then switching to an anti-anxiety anti-depressant plus Campral (which people swear by for its anti-craving support) keeps me on a more even keel.

At 39 days AF, I feel more confident, more optimistic, than I have at any time in the past 6-7 years, and possibly more so than at any time in my previous 14-year sobriety stretch. I'm sleeping well. And I got to spend a week+ with my son and know he was happy to be with me. So glad I wasn't sneaking drinks in my room while he was here.

LG - keep it up and congrats again on your 30+ days!

Lilly - do something fun for yourself this weekend. I'm off to get an early start with a Nail Shellac this morning

Desti, Rooni - Welcome back, and keep listening to yourself for the truth that will put and keep you on the sober path.

Everyone, new and "old" - have a great Friday/Weekend. Thanks for being here. This forum is essential to my recovery. I am so grateful it's here and for the new friends I've met.

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

Wow....a sunny day for you Kradle and congrats on day 24!!!!!!!! That is awesome....I am so proud of you!!!!! Thanks for your concern....it's amazing how we get so connected on here!!!!!!! It wasn't a big fall down, black out tear that I went on....thank God....but it was a cocktail and I did cave and i have to own it! I am feeling really strong this time and trying another path to my sobriety which is very similar to what I did when I quite smoking 2 years ago. So far I am feeling very positive. I am spending alot of time with my horses and have been setting up my barn for the summer....installing fans and what not. Enjoy the sleepover.....I remember the days when my daughter had sleep overs....it was always an adventure! Ha! Stay sane!!!!! Enjoy the sunshine today...you deserve it!!!!!!!!!

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

Monique........WOW!!!!!! That was a very powerful post!!!!! I am totally going to print it out and keep it with me at all times!!!! Thanks so much and congrats on 39 days AF...I remember when you were first starting out....amazing! I am so proud of you!

[LibraryGirl]

Newbies Nest

Monique I couldn't agree more with what you said. There is no need to come here and beat yourself up day after day or week after week, and so on, for "slipping". It's YOUR life. No one here is invested in you, although we all have concern for our fellow stugglers. Go on and get the drinking out of your system, as Monique so eloquently said, and come back when you're truly ready.

I know that I needed to quit AL long before I did. I resisted any mention of the word "dependency" and I convinced myself I did not have a problem (although I knew I was lying to myself). I was not "ready". When I came here I was at the end of my rope and I knew it was time. It was the same with weight loss for me. I absolutely knew I needed to lose weight, but I wasn't done "not worrying" about it. Any time someone tried to talk with me about it, or someone said something "helpful" I got resentful. Finally, after years of just getting bigger and bigger, I am finally trying to do something about it.

Those are my thoughts, and thanks Monique for expressing them so much better than I ever did.

Lg