Newbies Nest

[teezah]

Newbies Nest

My twisted advice? Don't waste your time trying to quit if you know deep down you're not done. If you're on the fence, and it's a fence I straddled for years, then go ahead and jump into the drinking abyss. Get done. Get as bad and dark and depressed and anxious as you're going to get. It might take days or years. Get so miserable that you can't stand yourself. When you feel like you have no choice, when you finally decide that you might want to live more than you want to drink, then you'll be ready.

Hiya Monique,

Sorry, feeling a bit sick after reading your post. I don't know if i'm reading this wrong but as you have quoted me at the top I assume you are directing this at me. Are you suggesting that if I'm not 100% committed then I shouldn't even try and quit? I don't find this a very supportive point of view and it has made me think twice about just how supportive this thread is.

I have my reasons and I have my goals surrounding alcohol consumption, and I am looking at the bigger picture. I no longer beat myself up about not being the person I think I should be and if I lapse into drinking again, I will not consider myself a failure. I will dust myself off and start again. Don't worry, I won't be coming crying to you.

At the end of the day, all I asked for was coping strategies for being on holiday.

Brydlady thanks for your wise words.

[resrchqueen]

Newbies Nest

Monique probably wasn't directing comments to anyone in particular just her own perspective... There is more than one way to skin a cat people...What works for one person may be not right for another. Anything that involves a habit takes an iron will. Rome wasn't built in a day and perfect sobriety probably won't be for most people.

[Kradle123]

Newbies Nest

Teezah I agree with RQ that that post wasn't directed at u. Sometimes posts even get cross posted or are cometely unrelated..
I do believe sincerely however that No Post here at MWO is wasted. The good the bad and the ugly will all find there way to the person needing them eventually even if it's years later, I have read posts written six years ago which blew me away and clearly left others unmoved.

It is our own naked journey here, I'm afraid...for better or worse. I am grateful you posed the holiday question because it lead LB to give us SuperCrews great Thread so I owe you big time. :l

[Kradle123]

Newbies Nest

Calling Mama Bear

Mama Bear I know you're at work and I hate to disturb you but are we Day 26 or Day 27 ??
I felt so awful last night (see ladies only thread) I forget...

:

Am Heading out to yard sale. Will look for a calender

[akaMonique]

Newbies Nest

Teezah - No 100% no, my post was not directed at you but I can see why you would take it that way and I'm sorry it "made you sick." I had been thinking about the topic and your questions were a catalyst, but in retrospect, since I really wasn't addressing your question, I should not have quoted you and I apologize. Also, this forum is completely open to any and all who have a desire to change their relationship with alcohol. I certainly don't have any, much less all, of the answers - no one does. We speak our minds and share our experiences. As much for ourselves as for other members.

That said, it's not all lollypops and rainbows and none of us are professionals. So like any advice, take each and every post with a grain of salt and if it resonates for youl - great.

If not, fuck it!

Yah, I love swearing. Sorry if it offends.

[teezah]

Newbies Nest

Hi Monique,

It made feel sick because I felt like I was being told to go away and come back when I was really committed. I thought it was directed at me and made me feel as if I didn't belong. I was kind of breezing along feeling secure in the newbie nest and then all of a sudden felt as if my reasons for being here were being questioned. I have a need to belong, ya see.

Sorry I took it all so personally. It made me ridiculously emotional and I'm still weepy now. Maybe it's a day 6 thing.

[akaMonique]

Newbies Nest

And thanks, y'all, for defending my questionable honor!

[akaMonique]

Newbies Nest

Teezah, please don't go away. And don't apologize. You had every right to feel what you felt. I'm glad you spoke up rather than suffering (more) by keeping it to yourself. And we all belong, no matter where we are on this yin & yang journey.

Hyper-sensitivity is something we all can relate to. I used to cry incessantly the first week over tv commericals, sad songs, burned hot dogs, running out of cigarettes, a bad hair day, whatever. For some reason (drugs probably) it wasn't like that this time.

Take care, and have a good weekend! It will get better/easier.

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

Speaking of being committed....

I don't know how many times I've been completely committed (or so I thought) and then fail. It's like I really honestly "think" I've committed to quitting drinking, but then a few days pass, and my commitment goes to shit....

Why? No clue.

So how do you know when you're completely committed? I've been thinking about the whole "one day at a time" saying. Isn't that a blatant lack of commitment? Or is it just a commitment for that day? Does commitment have to be forever? Who is holding us accountable? Sometimes ourselves....sometimes family. Depends on the person, I guess.

Anyway, I'm just babbling sitting here sober in front of my computer on a Friday late afternoon. The drinking buddies will start calling any minute now.....

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

I am sitting here too.....stone cold sober! I just got back from grocery shopping and finished putting the groceries away. Pretty soon I am heading out to the barn to unload the feed I also got while out. I passed a liquor store and looked at it and took out my "inner peace" aromatherapy inhaler and took a big long sniff....and kept right on going! Ha! Stay strong when your friends start calling..I am sending you some "stay strong" vibes!!!!!!!!:l

[aerojef]

Newbies Nest

Nice job, Dest. Pretty soon you'll be driving past and waving a middle finger at them, saying "you won't get any more of my money for your damn poison!" Just a thought anyways.

Your sig says you're on day 3 - aren't you on day 8 with me?

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Dest!! I knew you'd be there for me! Don't worry, they can call all they want to. I'm in for the night. Gonna cook dinner, watch TV, maybe walk on my treadmill (if my headache goes away), and go to bed early!! Got my Weight Watchers weigh-in in the morning :fingers:

I've done good, except for Monday and Tuesday when I poured poison down my throat and ate really crappy food :upset:

Hope you have a great sober night, Dest and everyone else!!

[teezah]

Newbies Nest

No worries, I'm staying & am loads happier now.

It's good to go through all this emotional stuff & still be AF.

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

Aero...I was on day 8 with you and then had a set back a few nights ago. It wasn't huge....not fall down, black out sloppy drunk...just a cocktail.....but no matter how much or how little it was the fact is that I caved and I have ot own it. I wrote you on another thread and told you about it...so I apologize if it seems like I am repeating myself. I took a few days off and did alot of soul searching...but I am back...and on day 3. Congrats to you for being so strong. And I think it's nice that your wife gave you a card....I think you'll be off the couch in no time!!!!!!

Rooni...of course I am here for ya girl!!!!! Good luck with your weigh in tomorrow....I will be doing mine too. I just got in from the barn and I am going to change into my "comfortable" nighttime clothes..ya know...the ones that you would'nt be caught dead in! LOL And make-up is coming off....I go NO WHERE without so I definitely am in for the night! Ha! Have a great night and congrats on another AF day!

Teezah...We haven't met yet but welcome to the nest!!!!!!! I was reading back through your posts and have read of the stuggles you are going through. You are and always have been very welcome here. We just tend to get emotional and take things really personally in the beginning. I am totally committed but have fallen off the wagon many times in my journey. If people weren't understanding on here then I would've been kicked out on my ass long ago! Ha! Ouch! I am glad that you are feeling better now. Remember that you are not alone in this journey!!!!!

Monique....congrats on your AF days....you are really racking them up......awesome!!!!!

Well..I am off to make some iced coffee! Have a great AF day/night/ morning depending on where in the hemisphere you are!!!!!! I am sure I will be back on later....especially if I drink the whole friggin pot!!!!! Ha

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Hi kids

Just wanted to jump in for a minute.....

teezah, I think it's safe to say that the timing of your vacation is 'unfortunate' in terms of your sobriety. I was not quite 3 months AF when I first went away. I did remain sober but I was totally commited to do so.

How do you know when you're commited??
You are commited when you completely remove the option of drinking - no matter what!
No AL means no AL whether you are celebrating happy times or dealing with bad times. Placing your sobriety first always!

Lots of people here at MWO have gone on vacation & remained sober and lots have not. It's your choice ultimately
If you do decide to drink while away, please do so safely! Perhaps you will decide to commit to 30 AF days when you return.

Rooni, are you able to hoist those 50 lb bags of feed?
I have chickens here & I refuse to lift those bags ~ I just wait for help to arrive