Newbies Nest

[finallydone]

Newbies Nest

WhispertoaScream;1337736 wrote: Hello out there...

Night 2 for me. I feel like if I make it to 9pm I have succeeded because by 9pm I'm too tired to drink! Of course getting past 5pm is a real kicker...

I go back and forth thinking my drinking is "normal" and today I took this online quiz that said only 2% of women drink more than me. Apparently it isn't "normal" to consume a bottle of wine a night or start a Sunday morning off with a double Bloody Mary and finish it with 4-5 double vodka lemonades (but hey, I didn't have a hangover on Monday so that means I didn't drink too much, right???).

I am tired of being told I say inappropriate things (I'm that loud obnoxious drunk chick), feeling like a crappy bitch until I get my first glass of wine, and just not feeling good about myself.

Anyway, I'm here. I bought $100 worth of supplements this morning and am putting them to work. However, I am finding myself slipping into binge eating. I was expecting sweet cravings (and loaded up on dark chocolate and coconut ice cream) but I wasn't expecting the desire to just FILL my stomach to capacity. Thinking about calling a doctor tomorrow (I just moved 2 months ago and can't go to the doc I trusted back home). Feeling freaked by going to a stranger and asking for Topamax, even if they are a doctor. I read that Topamax will quell the urge to drink AND eat - is this true?

I haven't yet slipped into full alcoholism but I can see where my nasty little nighttime (and occasional weekend) habit could easily spiral even more out of control. I really don't want to lose everyone I have.

:welcome: Now is the time to not let it get out of control. It happened to me and it's a death spiral that left me with nothing...literally. It's great you are seeing it now before it takes away more than it already has. A big warm welcome and glad to have you here!

[SAUSAGE]

Newbies Nest

:welcome: from me too.

You have found a great place in this site. I was a daily wine drinker drinking progressively more and more until I discovered MWO. I am a 41 year old mum who works part time. I was new to Internet forums and was quite scared to do my first post. However it was also a huge relief to find this site and realise I was not alone.

Some ideas to get you started;

Read on here as widely as you can
Visit the Tool Box thread in monthly abstinence for ideas for when things are tough at the witching hour. Formulate a quitting plan for yourself.
Watch the Rain in My Heart documentaries on You Tube ( about alcoholism) there's a link in the General Discussion section.
Read some of the My Stories in the story section.
Find a thread you like and post regularly to stay accountable.

Look forward to seeing you around.

Sausage x
Day 118 AF

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

Welcome all new comers!

Hi all,

Oh my! So much to respond to and no time. Not only am I still in computer purgatory but, after a quiet spell during which my computer was working perfectly, now that it is on the fritz naturally I have been assigned a ton of new work today. Still going slightly crazy and still highly irritable and a bit down in the dumps - no doubt from my binge on Sunday eve. I am just trying to tell myself to hang in there for a week AF and I'll start to feel better again.

I am totally into BOOT CAMP and trying to spearhead it here only I am likely to be a bit AWOL for a bit due to the above, so if anyone wants to dive in with their own ideas, posts etc - GREAT. I think I suggested as a start that we post about WHY we want to get to 30 days, what tools we have available to us, and perhaps what excuses we've used to relapse in the past. Or, more kindly, what triggers have felled us. Any other ideas?

Windy, what a lovely, lovely post! I'm really glad you're back here. Uh, well, I mean naturally I'm not glad you *need* to be back here but happy to have you here... Anyway. Congratulations on your 190 days, that is marvelous. I'd love to hear more about how you got there, what was good about it, what went wrong - if you care to share - and how you think you can change that this time around. Welcome to 30-Day Boot Camp!

And also, PINK POLKA DOT PANTS - ! - can one of you please elaborate more?

Sorry for not saying hi to all the newbies to the nest individually - reading and posting at high speed but a special welcome to Butterbean, :welcome:! Well done on making your way here. I think the fact you have when you're not typically a forum user probably tells you that it's where you need to be. Also, you may find this thread useful... Or at least I found it quite enlightening on the topic of "moderation"

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f4...ion-37192.html

FinallyDone - nice to see you posting again! How you going? You must be closing in on that 90 days now?

Sausage, this may be belated but I just can't remember if I congratulated on getting through your trip AF. I KNEW you could do it.

Now forgive me but I am off to throw either myself or my computer off the balcony - I haven't quite decided which. But seriously, normally by this stage I'd be headed to the bottleo. But since I'm not I'll keep plugging away and hopefully make more progress than drinking could ever give me. I am drowning my sorrows in endless cups of tea instead...

Lilly

[Honeysoup]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning Nesters!

I went to my AA meeting last night sweating like a whore in church. I was SO scared and nervous, but everyone was extremely welcoming. By the time I left I got 5 phone numbers from wonderful women. They hugged and welcomed me and I cried and they cried and it was a very moving moment.

One of the topics brought out many different feelings. Everything people said was exactly what I was thinking. I thought I was the only one, who know? I’m NOT crazy, I’m an alcoholic. One woman kind of hit the nail on the head and she talked about her feelings from way back in 1st or 2nd grade. She explained how she never felt like she fit in anywhere. That no matter what she did she felt like she didn’t belong. She would try to hang with friends but she always felt like she needed an invitation to be welcomed. “who know it wasn’t always about her”. The more she explained and the more the rest of the group explained was like, “Are they reading my thoughts?”

It was just amazing and overwhelming all at the same time. I was invited to go back tonight, and I agreed although, I hate leaving my house once I am home. Anyway just wanted to let ya’ll know how it went.

K9 – Thank you so much for your support. I love reading your posts and feeling your positive energy.

Yogamom – You are not to blame, look how much your are trying and admitting your defeat. You’re fighting and that’s what your son should see is most important and your end result will be what he remembers most YOUR GOING TO FIGHT THIS BEAST and BASH IT IN THE HEAD! College is a huge party place and you kind of need to let him make his own mistakes. All you can do is be understanding, yet let him know your struggles as well. Best of luck to you.

Shadow – Welcome, you will love it here!

Herbie – I LOVE my wine too, just keep coming back here. The important thing is something is telling you what you are doing is over indulging. Keep lurking around and read others stories, make a plan. Pour out the rest of the wine (if you didn’t drink it all last night  and start fresh. DAY 1

Welcome Butterbean – That’s what I call my son, he’s a Texas boy  Again, you will love it here. We can all fight this together. Today is day 3 for me to.

LillyE – New day 1 for me was also June 18th. Glad we can do this, stay close, and read.

I will be checking in and out today, because IT IS ONLY day 3 and I don't want to go back to nightly routine of not remember tucking my angels in. That's the best part of my night.

Sorry this is so long, I just had so much to say today

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Brand Newbies and returning Newbies! Welcome! I will tell you this, you have landed in the best possible place if you are ready to regain control of your life!! Notice I didn't say regain control of your drinking....
You will find answers to each and every question you may have about what to expect, and more importantly HOW to get thru the tough times. I would urge you to read back a few weeks and get to know us...who is where in his/her journey...we have folks on Days 1-7....all the way up to Lav, our nest mother, who has 3 years. She should be along here shortly to give you the nuts and bolts of this site. Jump in with your questions and your thoughts.....every post counts. First things first...we take things a little at a time. I know what you are thinking....'how am I going to give up the thing that I love most in the world??' It's much like the approach you'd take to eating an elephant...you do it one bite at a time. We have much success in this little place. Welcome aboard! Byrdie

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

HoneySoup, I, too, was amazed at your story, and look at the outcome of it all! You had me at 'prison' so I didn't know where you were going!! I am so happy that you found validation at that meeting. You know, I have never spoken to another person in person about this, so I imagine that it was very emotional. I never felt like I fit in either!! Always trying to get acceptance! OY. I can't wait to hear more of your story.
Lilly....my poor computer-compromised Lilly....I hope you don't hurl yourself off the balcony, we need you!!! Did you try turning it off and back on? ehehehe....the only trick I know!! Also, when Windy first started here last September, she came onboard with the damnest plan I had ever heard. She started by saying she was going to go 100 days come hell or high water, and by golly she did it! Since we are all over the world here in the nest, she came up with this idea that we all get pink polka dot pants to make us all think of each other and for strength when we felt alone. I wore them religiously, but she is right, it is way too hot for them now!! I see them every night tho, when I am changing in to my pj's and I think of her each time. It was a small thing, but so meaningful....at least to me. I can't tell you how funny I look in mine!!! but I don't care, I know what they represent! I am going to go out and see if I can find a summer version of them!!! Minnie Mouse had it going on!!! Thanks for asking about that! XO, Byrdie

[Butterbean]

Newbies Nest

Nervous for this weekend

LillyE,
Thank you SOOOOO much for recommending that passage to me about moderation. It was very powerful and overwhelming. That is me to a T. I need to read it every day.

I am on Day 4 and so far this is cake. It is cake because it is only Wednesday. I start out each week with such strong resolve then by Thursday I want to "reward" myself because it is "almost" the weekend. I have to get out of the mind set that because it is the weekend I can drink whatever because I deserve to. I live a VERY social life with lots of neighborhood get togethers, parties, football games etc. These are what make me really nervous. I don't want to avoid these get togethers because those are the true test. I can sit around my house and hide and not drink but can I make it through a social gathering. And what do I SAY??? It is my identity to drink tons of wine and be the life of the party.

I am not ready to tell people that I want to take a break from alcohol. It is so shameful and embarrassing and I think it would just create more pressure on me. I am thinking about saying I am doing a nutritional program that includes detoxing from alcohol, caffeine and loading myself with a high amount of vitamins to rejuvinate my system. This isn't a lie, but it still isn't the truth. Thank God I told my husband about my struggles. He has been very supportive. I am seeing my doctor today.

butterbean

[Butterbean]

Newbies Nest

Oh, I forgot to ask, does anyone use the hynotherapy cd's? This seems a little odd and completely out of the box for me but I promised myself to be open and if I were to do this it was 'both feet' in. Please share thoughts of who has utilized these and what your experiences have been. I know the mind is a VERY powerful tool so I am giving it a try. If it doesn't work, I have wasted way more money on bottles of wine over the years and what do I have to show for that??

Butterbean

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Butters, Lav has preached into our heads the importance of getting a plan. When I first heard this, I thought...blah, blah, blah. Plan, Spchlan. What the heck is a plan? Then after I failed after several half assed tries, I started to listen. In my opinion, a big part of the plan is what you are going to tell people at these social functions. I think you will find that nobody really cares about what you are or aren't drinking, but you must have your story in place for yourself. As soon as you are asked, come out with your NO THANKS...a moment's hesitation will prompt the 'oh come ons and just one won't hurt you's'. You must come right out with it. If I get asked why not, I say that it's like battery acid to my insides....that's usually all it takes. I've heard others put off an overaggresive hostess with, 'Not now, maybe later'. There's always 'I'm driving' but whatever it is, stick to your guns. It's only the first round of drinks that is uncomfortable but once you get over that rough edge it is easier. Tip number two....ACT drunk. WHAT??? I've been to neighborhood things and been asked, How much wine have YOU had?? Well, none actually...but step up to the level of activity going on ....it is actually kind of fun. Let loose! The only thing missing is the AL itself. You are under there....trust me. If you are social and talkative with AL, that's still there (just not to the extreme that AL brings). So get your story together.
Remember that Thursdays and Fridays are just another day. Another sober day. Once you hit that 7 day mark, you will feel great! You've conquered every day the week can throw at you. If you break it down, there's really only about 4 BAD hours you have to get thru, am I right? 5-9 pm? If you got thru the last 15 minutes sober, you can get thru the next 15. Distract yourself...start thinking of anything except going down that rabbit hole. AL is a pit. Get your mind off that drink immediately. Don't worry about your weight right now...eat something. Getting hungry is a major trigger. Just get yourself to 7 days. Do not drink AL no matter what and no matter who. This is a battle of wills and you will not believe what AL will do to get back in. Feeding it is the worst thing you can do. One drink will NOT make you feel better or take the edge off. One drink will not do anything for us except make us drink another one. One drink is too many and the next one is never enough. This is hard to accept. Do whatever it takes to get to your 7 precious days. You can do it. Byrdie

[Kradle123]

Newbies Nest

Hi Butterbean

Welcome & Goodmorning. I turned 50 in March and started my serious foray into AL in my 20's. I too was ferociously social but by my mid 30s had pretty much wrecked a lot of those friendships/connections
Anyway that's another story. I really wanted to talk a bout the Hypno CDs

I started with whole program which included the CD and listened to Them Every day. I thought they were pretty hocky at first to be honest but when that guy got to 'you can be a better mom' part ii was really affected.
I usually listen to them now when I ampooped. sSometimes at night before bed. But I have found that thought used them religiously in the beginning , now more occasionally.

I'm so glad you're here, really. The social life you describe sounds like a real challenge and of course I have no idea about particulars.
I have 2 possible suggestions though: lately I have been juicing, fresh veggies and fruit after watching a great Doc called FAT, Sick and Nearly Dead' Not that you r any of these! It really showed the wonders of juicing and nutrition and I know that almost everyone I talk to these days about it is fascinated and of course the fact that AL is not part of a JUICIING regime is a NO BRAINER.

Second, from what I read on here it seems to me IMO that those who do continue in the beginning of trying to get away from AL to go to their social functions do not fare well.. They may be ok once or twice but then..... That is just my general observation and again mostly with new people.

Hope any of this helps.

So many others I want to talk to but have to run. It's start Wed for the kids schools and the twins r in the hot tub.
Geez Loueeze !

Hugs,
:l

[Kradle123]

Newbies Nest

Hi Bryd!
Great post. I think I crossed it..
Also BB if you must go, watch people drinking almost as an experiment..it will really open your eyes I think.
They will appear quite different hot you the more they consume.

Hugs

[LibraryGirl]

Newbies Nest

Good afternoon All!! So good to see all the newcomers!:l:welcome: You've got some great minds and lots of experience to pull from here. I've only been here since February. I went 39 days AF, then had drinks on a few occasions, not overboard but still drank. I am now at 39 days again. My goal is to go beyond 40, which is longer than I've ever been AF since I started drinking.

But back to the struggle...I drank heavily since my 20s but not daily until about 10ish years ago (not sure exactly when it started). I drank about half of a big bottle of rum every night. Sometimes more. And yes, whoever said something about Bloody Mary's in the morning, that was always a treat to me on the weekends occasionally. Good hangover remedy: Hair of the Dog. Thankfully, I wasn't getting up drinking in the mornings regularly, but I suffered. I finally found this site one morning after I'd called in sick (again), hungover, anxious and depressed. I cried the entire time I wrote "my story" because I had never admitted to anyone, let alone myself, that I had a HUGE problem. Since then, my life has changed for the better. MWO saved me, and it can save you. You just have to work the program, make a plan if you don't have one, and stay strong. You have to want NOT to drink more.

I heard something that resonated with me this morning on the radio. I'm not sure what the program was about, and I didn't listen to the whole thing, but a man said this..."Life is hard. You're not going to be dealt a good hand every day. You have to realize that the struggle is part of the journey, and you'll be surprised how you can let things roll over you when you accept that."

Lg

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good afternoon Nesters

Hot, humid & more humid here today - yuck!

Welcome newbies, glad you found us!
This program will work for you if you are willing to commit yourselves & do the work!!!! No magic bullets, no fairy godmothers here to take away the pain but you will have lots of support

Lg, it is so true ~ the struggle IS part of our journey!
BUT we do have the power, each & everyone of us to turn our lives around & be who we truly were meant to be.

I still say the best way to start is by reading the MWO book, writing a good workable plan using the ideas in the tool box, using the Hypno CDs as directed & commiting yourself to an AF period of time. It worked for me......I'm just sayin

Kradle, staying away from drinkers & social occasions (especially in the beginning) is a good point. I practically chained myself to my house (which I made booze free) for the first 6 weeks & glad I did

Have a great day everyone!
Lav

[akaMonique]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1337849 wrote: Brand Newbies and returning Newbies! Welcome! I will tell you this, you have landed in the best possible place if you are ready to regain control of your life!! Notice I didn't say regain control of your drinking....

Great post, Byrdlady. And I second/third all the welcomes and congratulate everyone on Days 1-3 and beyond. It's all tough and it's all a process.

Butterbean - Everyone's doing a cleanse these days and I've often used that as a response; it shuts people up immediately and gets them talking about their own health/diet issues. I like the hypno CDs and feel they can be useful. Plus they are like a guided meditation (which I'm not very good at on my own). A great way to take a break, get relaxed and focus on yourself, or better yet, be taken away from all that noise in your head. I especially like the subliminal; I listen to the Ocean - day subliminal at work and the river at night on very low. I agree, they can seem a bit hokey so you have to be willing to really listen, do as it instructs, and judge for yourself.

Just doing a quick check-in from work so responding briefly and not intentionally ignoring others. Have a great first day of summer everyone.

44 days today for moi!

[WhispertoaScream]

Newbies Nest

akaMonique;1337952 wrote: Great post, Byrdlady. And I second/third all the welcomes and congratulate everyone on Days 1-3 and beyond. It's all tough and it's all a process.

Butterbean - Everyone's doing a cleanse these days and I've often used that as a response; it shuts people up immediately and gets them talking about their own health/diet issues.


44 days today for moi!

That's a brilliant line!I'm trying to figure out how to say NO THANK YOU for an upcoming trip.