Newbies Nest
Hi Nesters,
Lilly asked -
Marvelous questions. One of the most important steps in your journey if you want to truly change long term is to be as honest with yourself as possible and accept the cold, hard truth – You have a problem if you think you have a problem. Re-evaluate constantly and never give up. The struggle, the failures, the ups, the Hell NOs – all of it – is the journey. (Thanks LG)
To start with…I committed to 100 days, which was huge to me and seemed impossible, but I wanted to do it badly and knew if I committed publicly (here), it would be a promise I had to keep. I learned a lot and was open to everything. I came to the to realization I liked being AF and stayed there for a long time. But deep down, I was not ready to commit to being AF for the rest of my life and then we went on vacation.
I would like to say it was the romantic setting that did me in, but in all honesty, I think it is stress and I still craved the relaxation and letting go that alcohol gives me. I know this is BULLSHIT, because in the long run booze has the opposite effect on me. What I know for sure is alcohol increased my stress levels quickly and tremendously. One thing I noticed is that during my AF period, the stress was almost nonexistent. I am not kidding. I need to get that back. But, being the smart, and controlled person I am, I figured I could manage moderation….AGAIN NO! It all comes full circle eventually, but I have to learn the hard way, as many of us do. All it takes is one and the rest in history. I learned a very valuable lesson and I am proud of what I have learned this far.
In all fairness and truth be told, I still don’t know if I am committed to a lifetime as a non-drinker, but I get closer to that goal all the time. It's a tuff one. How do any of you feel about that commitment? I know I don't want to live with the anxiety that booze causes me. I strongly believe that will keep me away from it for the rest of my life. The older I get, the anxiety effect seems to be worse; even is small amounts. This will never change, as sadly, I am not getting any younger. My health is pretty important to me and must be a priority. You have to want to be sober more than you want anything in your life, in order to stay there. Find a very good reason to want to be free of it and you will. It could be your health; your spouse; your kids or all of them, but ultimately you do it for YOU. Because life is BETTER without drinking; you just have to find out for yourself and believe it.
There are things I need to do differently this time. Well...not really different, but just stay the course because it is so easy to let your guard down and forget everything you have learned. I guess it is important to put your methodology into your method. Old habits do die hard, but you can change, but it takes time and work before they become the "new normal". You must make your new programs a way of life and stay vigilant. Learn to stay in the moment and control the booze brain voices when they start to wander, and push them to the ground and get your strong arm ready. Byrdie’s “HELL NO” saying is spot on. As easy as you can say Yes, you can say HELL NO. Focus more on the fun things in life rather than the ones that give you grief, and there are many of both. So forget about the small stuff.
I don’t know if this has answered your question or not, so feel free to ask my anything and I will be as honest as possible about my answer. I did spend a good amount of time thinking how to answer your question, and don't really feel like I have done so. I apologize.
Hi Nesters,
Lilly asked -
I'd love to hear more about how you got there, what was good about it, what went wrong - if you care to share - and how you think you can change that this time around. Welcome to 30-Day Boot Camp!
To start with…I committed to 100 days, which was huge to me and seemed impossible, but I wanted to do it badly and knew if I committed publicly (here), it would be a promise I had to keep. I learned a lot and was open to everything. I came to the to realization I liked being AF and stayed there for a long time. But deep down, I was not ready to commit to being AF for the rest of my life and then we went on vacation.
I would like to say it was the romantic setting that did me in, but in all honesty, I think it is stress and I still craved the relaxation and letting go that alcohol gives me. I know this is BULLSHIT, because in the long run booze has the opposite effect on me. What I know for sure is alcohol increased my stress levels quickly and tremendously. One thing I noticed is that during my AF period, the stress was almost nonexistent. I am not kidding. I need to get that back. But, being the smart, and controlled person I am, I figured I could manage moderation….AGAIN NO! It all comes full circle eventually, but I have to learn the hard way, as many of us do. All it takes is one and the rest in history. I learned a very valuable lesson and I am proud of what I have learned this far.
In all fairness and truth be told, I still don’t know if I am committed to a lifetime as a non-drinker, but I get closer to that goal all the time. It's a tuff one. How do any of you feel about that commitment? I know I don't want to live with the anxiety that booze causes me. I strongly believe that will keep me away from it for the rest of my life. The older I get, the anxiety effect seems to be worse; even is small amounts. This will never change, as sadly, I am not getting any younger. My health is pretty important to me and must be a priority. You have to want to be sober more than you want anything in your life, in order to stay there. Find a very good reason to want to be free of it and you will. It could be your health; your spouse; your kids or all of them, but ultimately you do it for YOU. Because life is BETTER without drinking; you just have to find out for yourself and believe it.
There are things I need to do differently this time. Well...not really different, but just stay the course because it is so easy to let your guard down and forget everything you have learned. I guess it is important to put your methodology into your method. Old habits do die hard, but you can change, but it takes time and work before they become the "new normal". You must make your new programs a way of life and stay vigilant. Learn to stay in the moment and control the booze brain voices when they start to wander, and push them to the ground and get your strong arm ready. Byrdie’s “HELL NO” saying is spot on. As easy as you can say Yes, you can say HELL NO. Focus more on the fun things in life rather than the ones that give you grief, and there are many of both. So forget about the small stuff.
I don’t know if this has answered your question or not, so feel free to ask my anything and I will be as honest as possible about my answer. I did spend a good amount of time thinking how to answer your question, and don't really feel like I have done so. I apologize.
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