Newbies Nest

[BelleGirl]

Newbies Nest

lolab;1338361 wrote: I also have to say welcome to all the newbies and welcome back Minstar and Bellegirl, thank you for checking in! I'm going to add to both of your stories - that when you were here before it was NOT easy! You sputtered and started and Belle, I know you had a few starts...minstar, I know you struggled alot - thinking about it...But you both persisted....I'm so happy for both of you!

Hi Lolab and everyone else! Thanks, Lolab for pointing that out. It is important for newbies to know that it is normal to have a few starts and to struggle. Things that are really worth having do take work and time. There still are ups and downs, and I always remember what Byrdie says "that you never have 2 bad days in a row" (when you are not drinking, that is...had plenty of bad days in a row when I was drinking). However, after over 5 months AF, I really PREFER to be sober than drink and deal with what that leads to. This feeling is what made me decide that no, I did not want that drink for Mother's day or my anniversary.

Newbies (and returning "oldbies"), it really does get better. And the more AF time one gets, the clearer things become. I even feel like my "luck" is changing. Things just seem to work out better, or maybe my clear-headed view of things is what makes the difference.

Nice to see you back, Herbie!

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

First Light

Hi, newbie here on day 4. I am very-very happy to have found you all. These types of online support groups work! I quit another horrible habit (27 years chewing Copenhagen) using a very similar forum and made some life long friends along the way. Anyway, here's to kicking another bad habit out of my life.

[WhispertoaScream]

Newbies Nest

I will jump in with this:

1) Yes I'm in!

2) Your quit date and what day you're on - I drank ALL day on Sunday so I guess that makes Monday, 6/18 my first day and today is Thursday so that's 3 nights of AF!

3) Your main motivation - I'm tired of being told I acted inappropriately (those are my binge drinking weekends), of feeling like a crabby bitch/mean mommy until I get my first glass of wine (weekdays), and I can see that if I don't stop I am going to end up a total drunk like the rest of my family and lose everything. My great grandfather went fishing in Alaska during a storm and his body washed ashore in Canada, my grandmother lost her marriage and was a horrible mother, my father lost his marriage and went to prison and now there's me. I don't want to be like ANY of them! It would be nice to break the cycle and be the parent my kids DESERVE (because they are totally awesome).

4) In brief, where you're at in your quitting drinking cycle. First attempt? Been trying awhile? Had long periods before etc? I have never really tried to quit drinking. I think I once tried to stop drinking for a week and made it 3 days. I did give up hard alcohol for the most part about a year ago but when I had to go gluten-free (that was a SAD SAD day), I was stuck with just wine when I actually prefer beer.

My goal is to reign in my habit and change my daily ritual so that it does not involve drinking. When I am out I want to say NO to hard alcohol and beer and mean it! Once I start cocktailing, I don't usually stop until I puke. I also have a compulsion to always finish my glass (whether it's booze or a plain iced tea! However, I do occasionally want to enjoy a glass of wine or champagne or even sip some expensive ass scotch. It's definitely going to be a process though...

[SAUSAGE]

Newbies Nest

Hi Whispertoascream

I also had to go GF over 2 years ago - I was a wine drinker though so the fact that I couldn't have beer / lager wasn't a huge issue. however I did feel sorry for myself because as you know the diet is very restrictive and I couldn't face giving up alcohol as well!!

However someone once said to me- what does being GF and AF bring to your life?, look at it this way, rather than feeling deprived and sorry for myself, and that was a huge turning point.

I am now 119 days AF ( and 2 yrs 2 months GF!!) and feel so much better because of both!

[WhispertoaScream]

Newbies Nest

Being GF means no longer looking or feeling like I'm 4 months pregnant (yay for bloating and nausea!) and hopefully being AF means no longer being louder, obnoxious and waiting for a ritual bottle of wine.

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

I will jump in with this as well:

1) Yes I'm in too!

2) Your quit date and what day you're on - I drank ALL day on Sunday so I guess that makes Monday, 6/18 my first day and today is Thursday so that's 3 nights of AF too! I like to think that quitting the day after father's day is symbolic -- really a gift to my kids and wife.

3) Your main motivation -

I'm tired of what was once casual now having become a routine with the daily regret of the previous night's choice to over indulge on IPAs. I've been feeling a bit out of control with it. I'm very disciplined in other areas of my life (work, fitness, music, parenting, etc, etc) so it just doesn't fit with how I envision myself. I've been lucky so far as not to get into trouble. I'm a mellow dude, but it was only a matter of time before the DUI, or worse hit the fan.

4) In brief, where you're at in your quitting drinking cycle. First attempt? Been trying awhile? Had long periods before etc?

I've been drinking since I was about 13. My older bro's would buy it for us little guys back in the 70's. I have tried to quit drinking over the years, sure...but not for very long. I've always been a very-very social person and alcohol has always been a part of that life -- especially in college but as another poster pointed out, it was in the name of partying and so was okay. I don't want that for my kids...

It's really been the last 8 years (started with a very-very stressful house remodel) that it has become daily and over the last couple of years (after quitting a 27 year chewing tobacco habit) the number of IPA's each night have been going up and up to the point of alarming...a whole 6 pack over 5-6 hours! Ouch and expensive as ~12 bucks per 6 pack...I liked the good stuff.

Anyway, the last few months I've tried to take it back down to a reasonable level, but haven't been able to do it which really freaked me out. I mean, that's an alcoholic! So, I guess that's what I have become and it's time to man up and deal with it.

Like the previous poster, my goal is very similar (sub IPA for wine). My goal then is "to reign in my habit and change my daily ritual so that it does not involve drinking. However, I do occasionally want to enjoy a glass of wine or champagne or even sip some expensive ass scotch. It's definitely going to be a process though..."

Amen.

[LibraryGirl]

Newbies Nest

Hello and welcome Newbies! Whisper sounds like you've got a plan! Work it, work it! Fin, welcome to you too. My advice is to visit the Tool Box, download the MWO book, read, read, read and post. Coming here every day has been my saving grace. Being accountable really does help!

Hola K9! Missed you! Hi Dest, Sausage, Lav and Byrdie! Also, anyone I missed, lol. Hope everyone is enjoying a delightful AF evening.

Lg

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

@LibraryGirl: Thanks! Where do we find the Tool Box? I've looked around and it's not obvious.

[LibraryGirl]

Newbies Nest

I agree Fin, it is hard to find! I found it on another member's post. Go here:

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

Thanks yet again! Very good stuff. Thanks for the orientation. Next question, is this the right place to post daily for awhile?

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

Hi Whisper!!!! I am glad you are joining the boot camp! So sorry to hear about how AL has played such a huge part in your life and your families life. You can totally break the cycle...we are all in this together and we can help one another out!
Hi Fin!!!! Welcome to boot camp....so glad you joined!!!!! I think that this boot camp is making us all have a plan and that's what we need if we are going to succeed....which we are!!!!!

It's looks like alot of us have the same start date...that's a huge help just knowing that you are not alone ...we can all get through the next 30 days AF...misery loves company! Ha!

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

Definitely Fin! You will find so much support and encouragement here! The people here are awesome and the cool thing is that no matter what time you feel the need to come on here and post..someone is always on that you can talk to since we are from all over the world.

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

Awesome...sounds good, Destiniey. I like your 30-day goal too. It's sort of a reboot. Is that your thinking? I'm struggling a bit with how long I should try and go, or if I should quit for good.

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

Gotcha Fin! I have been to day 1 so many times that it's rediculous! Last month I went 17 days and felt soooo good but then blew it. I figure maybe if I set a goal of 30 days instead of going day by day that it will kinda reset my way of thinking. I am willing to try anything at this stage of the game! Ha!

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

Hey Kradle!!!! I hope you are having a better day today! I am sitting here indulging in one of my guilty pleasures..watching the Real Housewives of NYC....hahahahha. I am waiting for my coffee to brew so I can make some iced coffee and then perhaps watch something on NetFlix tonight. Oh...btw...I've been meaning to tell you that my husbands grandparents lived in Bellevue, WA when they were alive...is that close to you???? Have a lovely evening!!!!!!!:l